Hidden Betrayals
by Puldoh
Summary: The Turtles are betrayed by a Family Friend while the youngest turtle tries to overcome what has happened to him, and to allow his family and friends to help him.
1. Discoveries

Mikey woke up with a great feeling, lots of energy and not as tired as he had been for the last few weeks. He didn't understand why he felt tired, or why he was showering so much. But he had notice that his stiff and sore muscles that had plagued him for the last few weeks were getting a little worse and thought he'd should get Don to check him over, he could be be coming down with something. As he headed to the door for breakfast, he had glanced at his desk and stopped, confused.

His journal lay open, and it looked like someone wrote in it.

Concerned, Mikey walked over to it. _Why was it opened and out?_ He had locked it up last night, he always did, since he ws tiny. He couldn't recall an instant where he had left his book out.

He stared at the open page, starting to read an entry in it that puzzled him. And worried him.

_Another day! Another friggin day in this dismal sewer! Why the Hell can__'__t we ever leave? Are we to live our whole life down here? It's not right! Or fair! Why can Leo leave and be gone for two fucking years and not us! Even Raph got a taste of freedom! And Don! And the way they treat me, it sickens me! Always innocent Mikey! I fucking hate them, I despise them! Why the Hell did they allow strangers to live with them? I can__'__t do fuck all! _

_I hate them all. Fucking blind! How dare they not notice! No, its always stupid innocent Mikey they see. They never notice the bruises, or the cuts! They never notice the flinches or the cries I make at night! I wish Leo and Splinter had never invited that jerk from the Battle Nexus__…._

_I hate this! I want them to see I__'__m in pain__…__..I__'__m only 15 years old! Please, why can__'__t they open their eyes, hear my cries?_

_Am I so bad__…__.do I deserve what he do to me? Why__…__How can they sleep when I__'__m being hurt?_

Mikey was shocked by it, and frightened. _He didn't remember something happening last night. He had tossed and turned he guessed, since his muscles were sore, but... was that the reason? It couldn't be this, this entry...this everything...it has to be wrong. He was just sore from sleeping wrong. Nothing happened last night….did it? _

Mikey walked over to his mirror and glanced at it. Trying to see something. But he couldn't. He could see his skin around his wrists and ankles were slightly darker….or were they?

But the only one here are Usagi. Splinter and Leo invited him for the rest of the season.

He was puzzled and worried now. Walking over to his journal, trying to dredge up any memories of last night, he started to get worried. He flipped the pages backwards, trying to see if there are any more entries and froze when he saw another one.

_It hurts__…__.It hurts so much. I can hear them. I can hear them talking outside, but they can__'__t hear me! I screamed for them__…__.they didn__'__t see me! They didn__'__t even hear me. He said its because of some magic he did. Illusions they created for them. But I want them to help me. _

_Why won__'__t they help me?_

Mikey cringed, his eyes closing, flashes of feelings and touch came over him….

_**Hands sliding along his shell**__**…**__** breathe in his ears**__**…**__**.panting**__**…**__**.pain**__**…**__**.struggling**__**…**_

His eyes snapped open, gasping. THAT WAS NOT REAL! He thought frantically, worried a lot now.

He sat down shakily on his bed. He slowly started to backdate his entries, finding the writing slightly different with each entry he didn't remember. His writing was more sloppy, messy, instead of the loopy cursive he usually used.

But every time he read it, he gasped and shook. He read the first entry….dated 2 weeks after Usagi arrived. He gasped in horror as he read it…

_**I don**__**'**__**t**__**…**__**I**__**…**__**he hurt me last night**__**…**__**I never thought he would hurt me. He scared me for awhile. Always wanting to try to pin me, and touch me**__**…**__** but God**__**…**__** last night. I was sleeping. I didn**__**'**__**t hear him come in. He did something to me. I don**__**'**__**t know what it was. But he said I wouldn**__**'**__**t remember when it clears my system. But I**__**…**__** God. I begged and cried and pleaded for him to stop. His hands were all over me! Touching me, and**__**…**__**I**__**…**__**I can**__**'**__**t write it**__**…**__**. He used me**__**…**__**hurt me. I**__**'**__**m no longer pure**__**…**__**he took it. He laughed as I begged. Got excited when I screamed. I screamed for Sensei. For Leo or Raph or Don. No one came. **_

_**No one came. **_

_**He left awhile ago**__**…**__**.He forced me to clean up. He did something to me**__**…**__** it still hurts but it doesn**__**'**__**t look like I**__**'**__**m hurt. He said not to tell. That I won**__**'**__**t remember once someone wakes up. **_

_**What if he does it again? Oh god, Please, what I**__**'**__**m supposed to do? **_

_**It hurt so bad. Like I was being cut in **__**….**_

Mikey was trembling with shock and horror at what he written. That didn't happen. It couldn't have! Not him! Not Usagi. Not Leo's best friend!

He tried to deny it. But it felt true. He heard his name being called and tried to calm his beating heart. He couldn't go out. He might be there.

"MIKEY! Come on ya bonehead! It's time to practice!" Raph yelled out.

Mikey's throat closed up, and he couldn't respond. _Were they true? It had to be__…__.if it wasn__'__t__…__if it wasn__'__t why was he terrified of seeing Usagi? _

Then he heard Leo tapping at his door and quickly tried to hide his fear and pain. _It can't be true, God, what... what should I do?_

Scrambling up he closed his journal in his hands, gripping it tightly as he saw his door open.

"Mikey!" Leo said, walking in, glaring. Mikey gulped. "Raphael called you for practice. I think you should come. Usagi is joining us once again. We should be polite to our guest and its not nice to keep other people waiting for you," he lectured.

"Uh..no. Um, Leo, I…can I skip this practice Please?" he asked nervously, trying hard not to tense up as Usagi was standing behind Leo.

"No Mikey, you can't. When I said for you to attend, you do so. Not sit at your desk writing in this," he said hotly, snatching the journal from Mikey's hands.

Mikey panicked at seeing his journal in Leo's hands, at imagining Leo reading it, and scared that Leo would chose Usagi, his best friend, over him.

"Give it back LEO!" he said, darting forward, trying to wrench the journal back.

Leo was getting angrier. Splinter had just told him that if he did well during practices for this next week, he would receive permission to go to the Battle Nexus and from there, to Second Earth with Usagi. Mikey had to listen.

"Why are you being disrespectful toward Leonardo-san. You should not let him continue with this disrespect." he heard Usagi say softly behind him.

Leo nodded, wrenching the journal away from Mikey's hands and saying angrily, "It's just like you, to act like this, you little shit! Get into the dojo and start your stretches! I am you leader, you will listen to me!"

Mikey didn't even hear what he said. His eyes were on that journal, holding secrets he didn't know.

He could feel that Usagi was staring at him with this intense stare, freaking him out. He managed to grab the journal, "NO! This is mine, let go!" and tried to wrench it away from Leo's iron grip. He was scared that he might show it to Usagi.

Leo lost it, a hand smacking into his face, knocking him down. Mikey glanced up in shock. _Leo hit him__…__.the journal__…__. _He scrambled back as Leo glared at him, "How dare you disrespect me. Usagi is right. You need discipline!"

Mikey blanched at those words. _Leo, no, you don__'__t understand__…_he thought, his eyes filling with tears.

Leo glanced at the journal in his hands, furious, and grabbed two sides of it and tore it in half. Mikey heart nearly broke, and he knew what secrets that journal had to tell. _That had everything__…__.my secrets__…__my dreams__…__my feelings__…__.gone_

"Leo, Please, you don't understand! Usagi…god, he's been doing stuff to me. Stuff I don't remember…." Mikey babbled quickly, trying to get him to see.

Usagi glare intensified and he said angrily, "How dare you try to accuse me of harming you! Is this how you treat a guest?"

Leo was beyond mad, not thinking straight as he heard his best friends' remark, and ordered in a cold tone, "Apologize to him now Michelangelo. And you may stay in this room until later. I will speak to Splinter about this! Usagi will give you your punishment!"

Mikey felt his heart burst into two and he slumped down, trying to think. Images flashed though his head.

_**You are mine. I knew. I knew since your contest. You were mine to take. Leonardo has told me much about you**__**…**__**.stop that sobbing. I will take what I WANT! Pain, pain inside, crying, struggling. **_

He scrambled back and saw Usagi smiling at him. Scared he stepped back. He glanced at his journal laying there.

Picking up the two pieces, he cradled them. _If they only knew what was written in this__…__.if they only knew__…__.Shell__…__I didn__'__t even know__…__ why am I remembering?... why now?_

He could hear Splinter talking with Leo outside. And overheard Leo saying, "I want Mikey to be punished Sensei. He was very rude, and he didn't want to join practice. And he even accused Usagi of hurting him. He dishonored our guest. May I have permission to punish as I will?"

"I will see my son. I will give Michelangelo time to calm down, and talk with him. If he did indeed dishonor Usagi, he will make retributions. But to accuse a guest of something like that, is odd. Did he say where this came from?" Splinter said.

"No he did not Master Splinter. I feel that this is just an excuse. There has been no indication of anything that is wrong," Leo said shortly, silently fuming.

Mikey heard them, could sense them talking, could feel the panic inside, and wondered if he should tell. Usagi was like this freaky ninja guy from Second Earth, and was awesome at battle. That he followed the codes_. But what he did to me__…__.it was real__…__.wasn__'__t it?_

Mikey sat down on his bed, trying to calm his aching heart, and tried to concentrate. He needed those memories. _What did sensei say about that? Calm your mind__…__.deepen your breathing, try to recall what happened before your memory block__…__.trace the memory missing__…__.the small link__…__.the small path__…__.trail after it, track it__…__.open your eyes__…__..see what happens next__…_

_**Giggling**__**…**__**.he was tired. He was getting ready for bed. Usagi had come to visit. They had a good night, watching as Leo and Usagi battled in the dojo, betting on Leo. Winning. It was a good night. But Mikey reflected on the night, feeling strange around Usagi. Something was different. Shaking his head, he curled into bed**__**….**_

_**Soft click**__**…**_

_**Footsteps inching closer**__**….**_

_**suddenly**__**…**__**..he was frozen**__**…he couldn't move..**__**.eyes snapped open**__**…**__**Usagi standing there, a grin on his face**__**…**__**..a feral grin**__**…**__**.eyes lit**__**…**__**. **__**"**__**I waited long enough for you Battle Nexus Champion**__**…**__**.you are mine**__**…"**__** Mikey tried to cry out when he felt Usagi climb on his bed**__**….**_

_**Pain**__**…**__**.fear**__**…**__**.shame**__**…**__**crying**__**…**__**..hurt**__**…**__**.sobbing**__**…**__**..begging**__**…**__**.burning white pain**__**…**__**..guilt**__**…**_

_**Mikey curled on the bed, hands shaking after Usagi left. He couldn**__**'**__**t believe what just happened. Tears feel down his cheeks, his body sore inside, cut through him as he moved a little**__**…**__**.he reached for his journal**__**…**__**.he wrote**__**…**_

Mikey whimpered, jumping up. _It was true. It had to be. Why would I dream it? That was a memory__…__..I can__'__t stay here. I can__'__t!_

_I gotta leave! _

_I gotta get outta here!_

Mikey opened his door, and saw all of his family were in the dojo, practicing. He ran toward the door, and heard a small cry behind him, "Mikey?"

Mikey couldn't look back. He ran.

He ran as fast as he could.

He ran to Leatherheads. _LH was his friend. He would protect him. Wouldn__'__t he?_


	2. Secrets Told

"LH?" he called as he got to the entrance, praying no one was following him, that Usagi wasn't near.

"Yes Michelangelo, is something wrong?" LH said, coming toward the young Michelangelo. He sniffed the air, smelling the fear and pain and blood around Michelangelo. There was something wrong with his friend, and he would find out. "What is wrong my friend?" ushering him inside his home, locking the door once again.

"I…I…" Mikey said, unsure and panicked, "I gotta hide from them. Please LH, you gotta hide me here. Don't let them find me!" pacing around, rubbing his arms anxiously.

"Who?" LH asked, perplexed and worried.

"Usagi. Leo. All of them. Please, you gotta hide me. If they find me….Please, I'm….If you don't, I'll run on my own, Please!" Mikey begged LH, his mind in a twisted turmoil. He didn't know what to do. All of a sudden, memories were cascading inside his head and he couldn't figure them out, and knew each one was sick and twisted, and wanting them to stop.

"Alright Michelangelo, come, you may sleep in my safe room. No one can bother you there. Are you alright? I sense you are injured, but I do not see a mark on you except the bruise on your cheek. What is going on?" LH asked, leading Mikey to the room and sitting him down. He was deeply worried. Something bad had to happen. Michelangelo was panicked, his eyes traumatized, his body shook.

"I remembered something LH….something I didn't 'member before." Mikey said, covering his face with shaking hands.

"What was it that caused so much distress?" LH wondered softly.

Mikey shook, he didn't want to say. He was exhausted. Everything was getting too much. "It was Usagi….LH…he did something bad."

"What did he do Michelangelo?" LH asked, grabbing a cold glass of water for him to drink. Mikey ignored it, feeling the tendrils of exhaustion catching up with him, and something else, something inside him, telling him to quiet, to tell no one. He hesitated, but the need to get it out, to overcome the voice telling him not to say a word, finally broke free, "I…I think…I think…he…r…r.. raped me."

LH's body tensed, his tail swished, eyes glowed a brilliant yellow as he tried to control his breathing. He understood perfectly. That was what he was smelling that was wrong. He could smell another's scent on Michelangelo, Usagi Miyamato scent. He could smell injuries on Michelangelo, but couldn't see them.

He had heard of Second Earth and the magic that was still taught there. About the various medicines and doctoring potions that were made. The Utroms taught him about many planets, many places. He tried to control the burning rage inside, the anger that wanted to lash out. He wanted to go and hunt down Usagi Miyamato for hurting his first friend.

"LH? Leatherhead, Please, Please, don't space out on my now, Please, LH? Please, come back. I don't wanna be alone. LH?" Mikey said feeling the tears building up as he gazed at the large crocodile in concern.

"I apologize Michelangelo, I did not mean to lose control." LH said, taking a deep breathe and calming down. His eyes returned to normal and he asked, "Why do you not want to tell your family?"

Mikey shook his head sadly, "Usagi is Leo's best friend. I…I just found out…its in my journal. Usually I don't re-read my journal. After I write, I put it away….." and Mikey's voice cracked as he continued, "When I woke up…I saw it. It was open. I….I thought that was weird. I…I never do that. As I picked it up... I... I...I…saw something I didn't write. Something….I didn't remember. I…." and he broke down in sobs.

LH touched Mikey's shoulder gently, feeling it tense up, and he sighed, angered at his young friend family. _This was wrong. Mikey shouldn__'__t be hiding from his family! He should be getting support from them. Not running! Oh Michelangelo, this is wrong. Your family should not believe this Usagi. It is wrong. Family comes first, always. _

LH saw Mikey nodded off from all the mental anguish and the confrontation earlier, so he quietly covered him up in his blankets. Leatherhead left the room, and entered his lab and walked to his computer. He quickly logged on and saw Donatello was signed in the messenging service they had created and quickly signed in.

**

* * *

**

**Don**: Hey LH, have you seen Mikey. He just took off, and we're a little worried.

(LONG PAUSE)

**LH: **He has not shown up Donatello. I will let you know. What has happened?

**Don:** IDK, Leo and Usagi were yelling about how Mikey was being rude and whatnot. Then he took off. Mikey's been acting a little odd lately anyway, so its not a big deal. He'll be back to his old self soon enough

**LH: **What if he is not? What if he has been hurt, badly? What will you do? If he is missing, why are you not out looking for him?

**Don: **Leo says we're not allowed, and Splinter is backing him up. Raph is yelling about going out, but they won't let him leave. Right now, he's sulking in Mikey's room.

**LH: **Well, I hope you figure out what is wrong with young Michelangelo soon, before the damage is too much

**Don: **Do you know something LH? You sound ominous and somewhat creepy

**LH:** It is just a feeling Donatello, go, find your brother, I will keep a lookout and keep him safe.

**Don**: Will do, CYA LH

**LH: **See you my friend

* * *

Leatherhead looked around his lab, and seen so many projects half done and completed. Things he enjoyed building. They were no longer important right now. His first friend, Michelangelo, needed him.

He could hear whimpering in the room he left Michelangelo, and hurried toward it. Something was greatly wrong, and he knew he had to protect his young friend.

"Shhh, Michelangelo, you are safe now. Open your eyes….ok around. You are in my home, safe," Leatherhead explained as he gently woke up the turtle. He looked distraught and broken, his blue eyes wide and filled with tears.

"S…Sorry Leatherhead….I..I..n..n Nightmare…" he said, shaking slightly, eyes looking around blankly. Mikey sat there, lost in his thoughts. _He had just dreamt of being held down. That he was screaming and he was scared. Were his memories returning? He hoped not. _

* * *

Meanwhile:

Back in the lair, Leo was ranting back and forth about how Mikey was being stupid and dishonorable. Raph was getting sick of all the bad talk about his brother. _Usagi and Leo were actin__'__ like Mikey was doin__'__ something__'__ bad. Running off. Mikey wouldn__'__t have done that if he had no reason. Something is going on. But what?_ Raph walked into Mikey's room, and didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

Then he spotted the torn remains of Mikey's personal journal. He gasped. Leo had been ranting about tearing up Mikey's book, but this one, Raph knew that was bad, because this book was HANDS OFF for everyone. Even he knew not to mess with it. He'd seen Mikey writing in it lots of times, and the one time he did try, he heard Mikey say, "This contains all my hopes, my dreams, my feelings. If you read it, then they wouldn't be just mine anymore. You would share something with it. This is like...me...who I really am," and Raph backed down. He understood the need for such privacy. To see it destroyed though, he shuddered, hoping it hadn't destroyed a part of Mikey's soul.

Gathering up the pieces, he walked to Don's lab and asked Don, "You got any tape?" Don nodded, tossing him a few, and asked "What's that?" pointing at the torn book in his hands.

"It's Mikey's journal. Leo must've torn it up when he was yellin' at Mikey," Raph explained, carefully opening up the pages, and concentrating on taping it back together.

"Why did Leo do that? That book is HANDS OFF! Geez Raph, what the Hell is going on? Mikey runs away, Leo is on a rampage with Usagi clearly egging him on, and Splinter is doing nothing! Usagi seems to be happy about Mikey being so upset! Raph, do you know what's going on?" Don asked, confused and worried.

"Nah, I don't got no clue. Leo's really out to get Mikey though. He was sayin' he needs ta be punished. Not sure for what though. Any ideas on where Mikey is? Can we leave yet?" Raph asked, concentrating on the pages. He didn't see the words, just lined up the letters. After awhile, he finished. Looking at it, he debated whether or not he should look in it. Trying really hard to overcome his ethical dilemma of invading his brother's privacy. _Mikey ran off for a reason. We gotta know why_.

He finally sighed and opened the book. He didn't like what he was about to do, but no one seemed ready to listen or talk... and usually Mikey hides away everything he feels from them. So he started reading through everyday experiences that were fine, and he chuckled at some of the entries that were related to his pranks, but then as he got closer to the end, he started realizing something was wrong.

In a few pages, Mikey had written, '_And for some reason, he likes pinning me down. Yesterday he did it when we weren__'__t even fighting. He just came up behind me. Is it a game that they do on Second Earth? If so, I don__'__t like it too much. I hope Leo doesn__'__t start doing it. He__'__s been acting really weird lately too. I hate to say this journal, but Usagi is starting to scare me. He acts innocent when his hand touches me where it's not supposed to, and when I do say something, Leo and Sensei brush it off. What should I do?__'_

Raph frowned, "Donnie, have you noticed anything strange going on wit Mikey and Usagi?"

Don furrowed his brow as he thought, and finally shrugged, "Not really. I noticed Usagi has been paying a lot of attention to Mikey lately, but that's about it."

Raph sighed, and continued to thumb through the journal, when he came upon Mikey's first entry of Usagi.

_I don__'__t__…__I__…__he hurt me last night__…__I never thought he would hurt me. He scared me for awhile. Always wanting to try to pin me, and touch me__…__ but God__…__ last night. I was sleeping. I didn__'__t hear him come in. He did something to me. I don__'__t know what it was. But he said I wouldn__'__t remember when it clears my system. But I__…__ God. I begged and cried and pleaded for him to stop. His hands were all over me! Touching me, and__…__I__…__I can__'__t write it__…__. He used me__…__hurt me. Made me bleed. I__'__m no longer pure__…__ he took it. He laughed as I begged, got excited when I screamed. I screamed for sensei. For Leo or Raph or Don. No one came. No one came. _

_He left awhile ago__…__.He forced me to clean up. He did something to me__…__ it still hurts but it doesn__'__t look like I__'__m hurt. He said not to tell. That I won__'__t remember once someone wakes up. _

_What if he does it again? Oh god, Please, what I__'__m supposed to do? _

_It hurt so bad. Like I was being cut in __…._

Raph's blood boiled and his body shook with rage. He felt it engulf him, filling him with a hatred he never knew he could have before. _Usagi is one dead rabbit_ he thought with rage. The journal crinkled in his hands, as he stood up, a growl deep in his throat.

"Raph, what's wrong!" Don asked alarmed. He seen Raph in his rages before, but this time, the hatred and anger in his eyes, this was a **Force 1 Raph Rage**. That meant someone was going to die.

"I'm going to kill Usagi Miyamoto." He stated in a dead calm voice. He stalked toward the door but Don stood in front of him, blocking him, "Why?" he asked confused and worried.

"Read this," he whispered, handing over the opened journal. Don quickly read the entry, and his own anger and frustration, and even anguish over what happened to his baby brother, helped his anger intensify. He grabbed his Bo, and walked beside Raph, tucking the journal into his belt.

They saw Leo and Usagi in the Dojo, getting a lesson from Splinter. When they walked in and saw Usagi, they let out a loud yell of anger and pain, and attacked Usagi.

They didn't care they were being brutal. He deserved all the pain. They hit him, broke bones, sliced into his skin, and bruised him all over. They fought fast and dirty, but were beat back by both Leo and Splinter who didn't know what had started this brutal attack on a friend.

Usagi lay on the ground with a broken bones all over, bleeding from wounds all over his body, moaning in pain.

"Raphael! Donatello! What has gotten into you both?" Splinter said angrily; tail swishing as he stood there.

"Read this, both of you!" Don said, handing over the repaired journal to the page he had read.

They quickly read the entry, and Splinter's eyes shone with rage. _This guest of his, this honored rabbit. That once saved his life, had taken advantage of his hospitality and raped his baby._ "Explain, now," he said, his walking stick perched on Usagi's throat.

Usagi gulped, seeing the steely determination in the rat's eyes to kill him. "Lies!" he said hoarsely.

Leo paled drastically when he read the entry, and he collapsed, his Katanas falling to the floor. His head shook 'NO' as he turned the page to the next entry. He read entries that were only partially filled, like he suddenly forgot while he was writing it. When he read about the magic, he looked up at Usagi, his once best friend, his only best friend. He stood up, and said in a deeply angered voice, "Why? Why would you do this! THAT'S MY LITTLE BROTHER!" and he pushed Splinter away and dove on Usagi, beating the shit out of him.

Splinter's cane struck the ground hard, "Enough, Leonardo, go and call the Daimyo, instruct him to come here. It is an emergency. Raphael, restrain this filth," Splinter said with disgust, at the barely conscious Samurai Warrior.

"With pleasure Master Splinter," Raphael whispered in anger as he roughly grabbed Usagi by his ears and grabbed a roll of Duct Tape nearby.

"Donatello, go and find Michelangelo! We must hear from him. He is injured and hurting. Bring him home," Splinter said worriedly.

Donatello nodded, and quickly headed out. He had a sneaky suspicion on where Mikey would run to for help.

Knocking on Leatherhead's secret door, he waited anxious and worried.

Don: Hey LH, have you seen Mikey. He just took off, and we're a little worried.


	3. Aftershock

Meanwhile inside, Leatherhead was having trouble calming Mikey down. "Michelangelo, it will be alright. Calm down!"

Then there was knocking on the door, and Mikey panicked even more, growing hysterical, "He's here Leatherhead! He's gonna get me! Lemme go! I gotta hide!"

Leatherhead didn't know what to do, and he ignored the knocking on his door, and concentrated on Mikey, "My friend, do you really think I would allow that filth in my home. You are safe. Be calm, LISTEN TO ME!" he said, frustrated, "I will not allow him near you. I promise you."

"You swear?" Mikey said meekly, the pain in his eyes showed such turmoil and haunted.

"Yes Michelangelo, I give you my word. I swear he will not even be allowed near you." Leatherhead said determinedly. Mikey nodded, shuddering from the vast images that were haunting his dreams, and the sudden flashbacks he would get out of nowhere.

"Are you remembering what had happened Michelangelo?" Leatherhead said quietly, wondering if this is why he was in such distress.

"It….It's m…my dreams… I don't… I don't know why I remembering… it's… like it was locked up… and now… I'm remembering more. WHY? Why did he do that to me! Why did he hurt me like that! We trusted him! God, why? Why?" Mikey said, his voice showing his pain and anguish.

Someone knocked on the door again, a little harder, and Leatherhead frowned, "Michelangelo, I have no doubt that there is something else going on. I am going to answer the door, and then I need to check your system over to see what is preventing me from seeing your injuries, and what is making your memory returning like it is. Only if you allow me this. If that is one of your brothers, I will turn him away if you want me to," he said slowly, making sure his voice was calm and soothing.

Mikey frowned, nervous and anxious, he rubbed his right arm as he thought, trying to figure out what to do next. He didn't want to face his family, he was ashamed. He shivered as he remembered the hands over him, and felt his eyes fill up, "I don't wanna see them. God, please, I don't wanna see them," he said, "I'm bad, I'm bad, it's not right. It's my fault, I shoulda stopped it. I shoulda stopped it from happening." He babbled for a few more minutes, seemingly lost in the moment, and Leatherhead was at a loss, but then Mikey passed out from the stress on his body and soul.

Leatherhead gently laid him down, and covered him up with the blanket on the bed, "I will be back. Sleep young one."

Leatherhead then moved from the bedroom, closing it gently. He hurried to the door, where another knock was starting again, and flung it open. He saw Donatello standing there, his face haggard and pale. "LH, thank god. Look, something is going on with Mikey. I know he'd come here first, since you were like his best friend before, and you know how he is…" Don said worried, a little uncomfortable since he wasn't invited in like usual.

"Why are you here Donatello?" Leatherhead asked, his voice tensed and coiled. He felt anger at Donatello and the rest for not seeing what was going on, for allowing Michelangelo to get injured in such a way.

Don then remembered, "Mikey! I mean, Mikey. He's here, right?"

"And if he is?" Leatherhead countered, not budging an inch. He would make well on his promise to not allow Michelangelo's brothers from taking him, or seeing him, especially in such a state.

"Well… look Leatherhead, something very bad happened. Mikey… he was hurt badly. We didn't know until we read it. Anyway, Master Splinter told me to find Mikey and bring him back. He needs to tell us what happened so we can bring Usagi to justice," Don said quickly.

"He is not going anywhere right now. He is distressed and was hysterical earlier," Leatherhead said calmly, looking down at his intelligent friend.

"Oh, um… can I see him?" Don asked hopefully, wanting to help his brother. But Don had no frame of reference to go to, and was unsure on how to handle this, and was even unsure on how exactly he could help Mikey.

"No," LH said, frustrated, "I will bring him back when I have discovered the cause of his memory lapse and the obvious injuries that are still being hidden. He is not ready to return to where he was injured. If Usagi Miyamoto is there when I show up, with or without Michelangelo, I will kill him where he stands, moral codes or not," and with that, he shut his door.

Don stood there shocked, and intimidated by the rage he had seen in LH's eyes, and when he heard the locking mechanisms being enforced, he knew LH was serious. Turning around, he headed back home, with a heavy heart.

* * *

When he arrived, he saw Usagi was pretty much covered from head to toe with duct tape, and he scowled at the asshole that hurt his brother. As he walked by, he couldn't help himself, he kicked him hard right in the groin, ignoring the weak warning he received from his father.

Raph was punching his bag hard and heavy, imagining that it was the piece of dung that lay on the floor, wanting to do more than punching, he wanted to kill the son of a bitch, but Master Splinter forbade it. He explained that if they killed him, they could potential bring a way between Usagi's planet, and Earth, and they had no recourse but to stop themselves.

They couldn't bring war, it wasn't their way.

Raph felt so much emotions, so much pain and anger and rage, he wanted nothing more than to find Mikey, or beat the crap out of someone. He preferred the shit on the floor, but would settle with some purple dragons or something.

Then Leonardo showed up with the Daimyo, who had sat to talk with Splinter.

"What is the meaning of this Splinter-San? Usagi Miyamoto is a skilled warrior who is covered with that grey substance. Is this how you treat your guests?" the Daimyo said upset and confused. He had been summoned here by Leonardo, who said that his family needed help with an unwanted guest. He wouldn't discuss the reason behind it, just stating it was something that must be explained behind closed doors.

"Ah Daimyo, there is something you do not know. Usagi Miyamoto is not a worthy warrior nor is he an honored ninja. He has taken advantage of my trust. I allowed him into my home as our friend. He has betrayed us Daimyo. He has taken the innocence from my youngest son. What recourses do we have to have our revenge?" Splinter said angrily.

The Daimyo was shocked, "Do you have proof of such claims?"

A book was suddenly thrown into his lap, "Read dat! That's Mikey's journal… he wrote it in all da time," Raph said angrily.

The Daimyo looked down at the book, seeing it had been torn up, and he read the words there, and his anger rose to a new level. He knew of the species that would use innocents in such manner, and there were nothing but cowards.

Filth.

Then he thought about the warrior he had invited to the Battle Nexus and realized their dilemma. _If they killed him, the planet would take out war on them as retaliation. But the Rulers of his planet had laws against doing such crime to young ones. Michelangelo is considered a child on his planet, why would he do such a thing?_

"I need to contact the Justice Counsels on his planet and have them come here. They will need to receive testimony from Michelangelo, and they can undo any bindings that he may have put on him," Daimyo replied, his voice tense and angered. "I can lock him up in my cells at the Nexus, and return him once I have a meeting with the Justice Counsel so we can give justice to Michelangelo."

"What justice will he get on his own planet?" Donnie asked curiously, wondering why Splinter wasn't speaking at the moment.

The Daimyo glared at the samurai rabbit, "He has broken many laws by doing what you said, to a child. He will most likely get the worse punishments they have."

"What is dat?" Raph said roughly, "'cause we all wanna piece of him!"

The Daimyo glanced at all of them, and lastly Splinter, "One of the punishments is castration of a body part to be given to all those affected by the accused."

Splinter's eyes glinted with rage and fury, "Michelangelo needs help to deal with what has happened with him. Donatello," he said, glancing at his intelligent son, "Where is he?"

Donatello looked down, upset, "Leatherhead is taking care of him sensei. He is too upset to come. LH said he might bring him by later if he can handle it," Don glanced up, eyes locking on the rabbit filth on the floor, "Leatherhead also said that if he sees him here, he has no problem killing him, moral codes or not."

Splinter nodded, "Take this filth from my home and bring your healers as soon as possible. I need…I need to contact someone," and he got up shakily, his body seemingly more worn, and for the first time to his sons, he looked old.

Leonardo glanced at Usagi, his friend, and turned to the Daimyo, "Master, is there a way for him to influence thoughts and behaviors?"

"Yes Leonardo, he has powers that he learned from his masters on his planet. Many of these powers can come from ground up plants and is easily ingested in many different ways. Others require a spell. If they are combined, then it is very hard to break. This is why I intend to bring a Healer here," The Daimyo glanced down at the journal in his hands, and handed it over to Raphael, "Michelangelo may be greatly injured but the medicine combined with the powers, would make it impossible to treat without it leaving his system. I will leave at once, and return….he may be greatly damaged when he returns as a heads up," and he held his staff in the air, light streaming out of it, and a white light picking up Usagi, they disappeared.

Don was lost, "How do we fix this? How do we deal with this?"

Leo didn't know. For the first time, he was lost.

Raph growled, and said angrily, "I know how we fix this, we talk wit Mikey. We tell 'im it's not 'is fault! We help 'im. We not gonna do no good just sittin' around. We gotta also gotta give Casey and April a heads up, 'cause we ain't sure how Mikey's gonna react to this when they are around."

They were shocked by how Raph just took charge. Just then, the door to the lair opened, and Leatherhead stood there, with Mikey behind him.

* * *

Earlier, Leatherhead logged off the computer, as soon as he heard Michelangelo waking up. He frowned, not liking the sounds he was making, of pain and hurt. He wanted to help his youngest friend, but the websites just said, be supportive. Help him tell a grownup. He sighed, many of these sites did not cater to mutants living underground, making it somewhat harder to relate to.

Sighing, he thought, as he walked over, '_At least the advice was good. I know how to help._' Tapping on the door gently, he looked in, and saw Mikey laying there, eyes opened and he was crying.

"Michelangelo, my friend, are you okay?" Leatherhead asked quietly.

Mikey shrugged his shoulders, not wanting to talk at the moment. Leatherhead respected that, and sat down nearby on a reinforced chair, and just waited, giving support.

Mikey felt awful. _His brain was going around in circles, words, memories, emotions were whirling around, almost consuming him inside, wanting to scream. He had so many questions, and he had no way of figuring things out. He had lost his journal… the one thing he could write in, could sort things out in, without having to think of the words that he felt, or feeling stupid speaking about anything. _

He shook his head, feeling the fear coming again, "Safe?" he whispered hoarsely, knowing Leatherhead would tell him the truth.

"Yes, you are safe. No one will enter my lair unless I deem them safe," Leatherhead said, handing a cup of water over. Michelangelo took it without thinking, taking a small sip.

"What do I do now?" he asked, his voice wavering with uncertainty. _He didn't know what to do. Should he tell his family? Should he explain to his father? Could he move back into the room where he was hurt without remembering?_ He shuddered, his body shuddering, hands shaking, the cup falling free from his hands.

"God, Leatherhead, what do I do?" he said panicked, not even noticing that Leatherhead had caught the cup. "What is if they don't believe me? What if they choose U.. him over me? What will I do? How… how can I explain something I'm remembering but it's all mixed up?" Mikey looked up, his eyes wide, almost unseeing, "What….what if they…won't want me no more…." And he started to curl up, unsure.

Leatherhead put the cup down, allowing Michelangelo to talk, and spoke quietly, "Your family is unique, they would value family over everything else. You once told me that your Leonardo spoke of this, stating that when one of you went down, you would all go down. You told me that meant to you, that you are all connected," he said, getting Michelangelo to focus on him, "I believe you. And they will to. I will be with you when you return, you are not alone anymore. These memories…. This… part of your life, you will heal. I promise Michelangelo."

Mikey looked at Leatherhead, looking into his eyes, seeing the absolute truth of his words, and nodded, "You'll be with me?"

"I shall," he said, and helped Michelangelo up, "Can I please take some sample of your blood to test?"

Mikey shivered at the thought of the needle, but nodded, "Okay….um… just don't let me see…they… they freak me out," he said.

Leatherhead nodded, bringing him to the lab, where he extracted the blood quickly. "You may go and take a shower if you wish," having had read the reports that rape victims often shower excessively, trying to get back that clean feeling before they were defiled. They blamed themselves for being dirty, and tried to clean themselves, but never succeeding. It was all subconscious stuff.

Mikey nodded, eager for another shower. As he headed to the bathroom, he stopped and glanced at his friend, happy he had someone who supported him, "Thank you….for listening…"

Leatherhead smiled, "It is nothing my friend. You have done the same for me, I will always be there to help you."

Mikey nodded and headed into the shower.

* * *

20 minutes later:

Mikey exited the shower, drying himself off. He saw the mirror and glanced in, wondering why his body still felt sore, but he was as clean as he could be. He scrubbed it as much as he could, trying to clean all over. He glanced at his skin, ignoring the raw feeling of it, wishing he could clean deeper. He still felt dirty. Nothing seem to get rid of the cling of hands on him….

He looked up, the mirror reflecting his image, showing himself. He couldn't even recognize himself, his once bright blue eyes were faded, haunted. His skin was pale, and slightly red from all of his scrubbing.

He shuddered, another memory coming to him.

"_I own you Michelangelo. You are nothing. You are mine, body and soul…" that oily accented voice said behind him, "You will look in a mirror and see nothing but me." He was crying, hurting. He cried out for his family. No one came. He felt hands grab him, hauling him up, forcing him to look in the mirror in his room. He whimpered, seeing him stand behind him, holding him in place, fluids leaking down his legs. "You are NOTHING! YOU BELONG TO ME! I will always be behind you, watching you…"_

Mikey glanced away, and then at the mirror, wishing to see the old Mikey, when he saw Usagi's face in the reflection behind him. Mikey screamed in fear and terror. He backed away, "Please, no more. No more. Please, stop. Don't touch me! Why do you keep doing this!" he sobbed, on the floor and shivering in the corner.

Leatherhead heard the piercing scream and ran quickly to the bathroom door, shoving it open with his strength, trying to see any enemies. He could smell none around, and saw Michelangelo on the floor, sobbing and huddled in the corner.

"Michelangelo, what is it?" he asked, hurrying over, curious because there was no one around.

"He was here Leatherhead. I… I saw him… he was here!" he said, clinging onto his friend terrified. "Please, don't let him get me!"

Leatherhead helped him up, bringing him to his room, calming him down. When Mikey sat there, no longer crying, he asked, "What happened to me?" confused, "I… he wasn't there…. But…he was…" not able to understand what had just happened.

Leatherhead sighed, "You had what you would call a flashback. Something must have triggered a memory, bringing it into the present, making you relive it briefly. It is scary, but if you keep calm, it will eventually fade away."

Mikey nodded, his legs moving underneath his seat, nervously. "We have ta go back, don't we?" sounding almost childish.

Leatherhead nodded, standing up, "Yes Michelangelo, we must tell your family, and we must stop that filth. I know you would not like to think about it, but what if he has other victims?"

Michelangelo paled dramatically, even more so, and he stood up shakily, "He wouldn't touch my brothers? Would he?"

"I do not know. Your blood analysis is confusing, many different properties in it, that are probably helping you cope with the knowledge of what has happened to you…" he said calmly, and when he noticed Mikey's blank face, he sighed, "The medicine in your system is helping you prevent much of what has happened to you, from coming all at once. It is taking a long time to break down. You will probably be remembering snippits for awhile, which is why it is important for you to tell your family," Leatherhead explained, grabbing a printout of the blood samples.

"I don't wanna go home!" Mikey said trembling, "I'm scared!" putting his arms around himself, trying to give himself some comfort.

"We must. This is important Michelangelo, you must be strong, you can do this," and with that, they both left Leatherhead's home, hurrying towards Mikey's home. He was silent the entire way.


	4. Confessions

**A/N: Hiya everyone! Just letting everyone know. I am working on stories, but unfortunately, one at a time. I swear. This one came to me suddenly, and I wrote it out in a week, and still writing it. **

**The problem! _Time time time, isn't on my side, no its not, not its not _**

**_Anyway, since I'm back in school again, I don't have a lot of time, unless the 5 or 15 minutes here or there, so that's when I pull a story up and try to write, if I can't, I work on this one, seems to be the only one I can concentrate on lately. _**

**Just so you all know, I'm in college, and my class schedule is hectic! It should be if I'm taking 8 courses. LOL So its random updates here and there. I will update my others soon. **

**Peace all!**

Now back to the fic

o o

\_/

* * *

They stared at them for a moment, Raph stopped them from moving, seeing Mikey was very jumpy, and looked ready to bolt. "Stay calm. LH, thanks for helping Mikey, please come in. You are welcome here…" he said quietly, "Hi Mikey, are you… ready ta come in?" he said.

Leatherhead nodded, 'It is quite alright Raphael. Michelangelo is a little distressed at being here, but he is trying to remain strong for the moment."

Raph nodded, and moved back, letting them have more than enough room, so Mikey could be comfortable. They walked to the living room, and Mikey sat on the couch, bringing his knees to his chest and just watched them in silence.

None of them knew what to do next, and were startled when Splinter came in, his relief at seeing Michelangelo nearby, putting his hand on his arm, and Mikey's startled reaction, sent a wave of panic through the room.

"NO!" Mikey cried out, moving away, scared. He cringed in fear, realizing he yelled at his father, and felt the tears build up, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said pleading for forgiveness.

"My son, it is alright. I should not have touched you without informing you of my intentions. I apologize," Splinter said, his heart aching with an immense guilt inside. He had failed to protect his youngest from the foulest of crimes, and he felt old for the first time in a long time.

Leatherhead spoke up, "I know you are all going through hard times right now. Michelangelo feels like he needs to tell you something. Please, just let him talk…do not interrupt."

All eyes were on Mikey now. "Um….I….I want to …tell you ..s..s..something. I… I don't…I don't know how to tell you," he said distressed, eyes wide in panic, "It's a s..secret… about Usagi," Mikey said then, quietly, hesitantly as he glanced around, making sure it was safe, "…I've been r'membering some stuff…. My journal… I uh…wrote…it says… says Usagi been messing with me…and I don't member it well…just snippets…."

Leo asked, "Messing how?" wanting to make it clear. They didn't want to tell their brother they read his journal, especially after he had destroyed it earlier.

"He's…. been… c…coming into my room," Mikey bit his lip, terrified of speaking some more, when he glanced at Leatherhead, "I…he… he'd hurt me," and he broke down completely. He felt a hand on his arm and he jumped, glancing up fearfully, and saw Splinter near him. He jumped into his arms, and said, begging, "Please, believe me, please! I didn't mean to let him. I…I shoulda stopped him. I don't know why I didn't, I just…I'm sorry!" and he continued to cry in his father's arms.

"My son, shhh, I believe you my son. I know you would not lie about this. It is alright my son, I am here. Your brothers and I believe you. We will stand by you," Splinter said quietly, trying to get his son to believe his words.

"Mikey, we believe you. You're my little brother, my only little brother, I believe you," said Donatello, kneeling nearby, his eyes wet with tears and hurt, "We'll help you!"

Raph nodded, "I'm gunna kill that little jack-rabbit!" he growled, and then moved over to where Mikey sat in Splinter's arms, "Ain't no one eva gonna touch you again! I swear Mikey….I believe ya!"

Leo looked away, his heart heavy with guilt and shame, "Mikey, god, I'm sorry. I should have protected you… I should have believed you when you first said Usagi was hurting you, and I'm so sorry. I messed up bro, but believe me, I will stand by you! I believe you! I love you Mikey," and he gulped back the tears wanting to break free, "I'm so sorry I hurt you Mikey, please, forgive me," and he stood up to run, when he felt arms wrap around him.

He gasped when he saw Mikey's blue sparkling eyes, filled with tears, pain and anguish, but there was also love, "I forgive you Leo…" and Leo broke down, engulfing his little brother in his arms, both of them crying hard over the recent events.

30 minutes later:

After they calmed down, Mikey sat in the chair, Leatherhead on one side, and Raph on the other. Mikey shivered, feeling chilly, but he didn't want to leave to get his blanket. He shuddered at the thought of going into his room. He didn't want to walk in, to see his room, his place he used to run and hide, his sanctuary that was now tainted. He felt the deep hollow pain echoing inside.

Another breeze seem to catch him, and his shivered again, when he suddenly felt a blanket around him. He glanced up, startled, and saw Donnie's soft eyes watching wearily. Don gave Mikey a small smile, "Father and Leo went to make some tea. Are you okay?"

Mikey shrugged, not sure what to say. He pulled the blanket around him, wrapping it around tightly. He felt safe for some reason, all wrapped up like this.

"What's gonna happen now?" he whispered quietly to the room, "What's gonna happen when he comes back?" he said, shivering in fear.

"That slimeball ain't ever gonna be back here Mikey. We kicked him out…when we found out," Raph said angrily, before realizing he let slip that they knew ahead of time, before Mikey told them what Usagi had done.

"Found out? But how did…. I…" Mikey said confused. _Did they know? Did they know Usagi was using him like that? And are they just messing with me?_ The anger and pain, and the fact his thoughts were screaming of betrayal and to run, was suddenly interrupted when Raph stood in front of him, holding out his journal.

"Umm, look Mikey," Raph said, holding out his torn and taped up journal to him, "We found this…. I… I uh taped it up," handing over the journal.

Mikey took the journal in a daze, seeing the tape covering the pages inside, and he felt his heart break even more, pain and betrayal consuming him, "You… you read it?" he asked, his voice wavering as he fingered the taped up pictures, and opening it, seeing his entries lined up, and taped back together.

Raph knelt down in front of him, seeing Mikey's shaking form, and spoke quietly, "I am sorry Mikey. I… sumethin' wuz goin' on. I needed answers…. It was on the ground… I knew it was your book… and that I would find answers," he said, looking away ashamed, "I… believe ya Mikey. Ya never lied before about sumethin' like that….and it's not right what Usagi did. I stand by you…."

"You… you all read it..t..the whole thing?" he said, glancing down, wondering what this feeling of horror was inside him, the knowledge his family read his secrets, his dreams.

They all shook their head, "No, not the whole thing Mikey…" they all said, scared of hurting his brother even more.

"Mikey," Raph interrupted, making Mikey look at him, "I read it… but what you wrote in there, I won't tell a soul. You have my promise… Mikey, I read it until I found an entry by you…. And it was about Usagi…the first night…the thoughts you had before… and I showed them…it wasn't a secret ya can keep. I'm sorry I broke ya trust… but please…forgive me one day."

Mikey stared at his brother, his hands clenching the journal, the implications of what his brother said, the secret he just told them, and the fact they already knew….

Before he could say anything, and he felt the world crumble around him, the darkness trying to engulf him, and Raph's arms around him, tethering him, anchoring him to the light, "We got ya Mikey, we believe ya! I swear Mikey, we'll help ya come back home!"


	5. Medical Trauma

It was hours later, Mikey was on the couch, falling asleep with everything that had happened to him. Raph stayed beside him, holding his hand, anchoring him to the world.

Don and Leo were in the dojo, joined by Leatherhead and Splinter. "How are we going to help Mikey Sensei?" Don asked, worried.

Splinter sighed, "Your brother is going through many emotions and conflicting feelings. We must stay by his side, and continue to remind him that there is no fault with him, and that we will stay by his side."

Leatherhead spoke, "Michelangelo was worried you would all believe the filth over him. He will need constant reassurances that you believe him, and that it wasn't his fault. Do not touch him without him seeing it. He will see himself as dirty, and believe he is worthless," he explained about the research he had done. "He is also injured in some way, I can smell the blood on him, but it is hidden, I believe behind the magic of that…. Filth."

Leo nodded, "We know. We called the Daimyo, and we are going to have him tried with the Elder's of his world, so we can get justice for Michelangelo. They are going to bring healers to help."

Leatherhead stiffened, "You must tell Michelangelo what you have done! He will not like it if he is blind slighted by this information, and it can cause him distress."

Splinter sighed, feeling the anger build within, a rage that wanted to destroy the filth that was named Usagi Miyamoto. "I understand Leatherhead; I thank you for your kindness for my son. I will take your advice, and inform him when he awakes."

Leatherhead nodded, "I am going to stay with him so Raphael may join you. He will need to be advised on what you have talked about," and with that, he picked up his lumbering body and moved to the living room.

He saw Raphael talking quietly, a steady tone of voice, and nodded, '_That was what Michelangelo needed, steady support.'_

"Raphael, please my friend, let me sit with Michelangelo. Your father and brothers are waiting," he said calmly.

Raph glanced up at Leatherhead, wondering what he should do. He didn't want to leave Mikey, but he needed to talk with his family. Finally, he took a deep breathe and nodded, "'kay Leatherhead, um, make sure he knows he ain't alone if he wakes up…. I'll be back Mikey," he said, squeezing his hand lightly, and replacing his hand with Leatherhead's hand.

He got up and went to the dojo.

* * *

Meanwhile Mikey was dreaming, his thoughts were chaotic, and his memories sporadic. He whimpered.

**Usagi in his room and Mikey screamed in fear, moving away from him and lunging for the door. Usagi laughed, saying, "No one will come Michelangelo. They all know what I'm doing, and they are okay with it. They gave you to me," he said, advancing on the turtle. **

**Mikey ran for the door, sidestepping Usagi and managed to wrench the door open, about to dart out when he hit some kind of shield over his door. He winced, he had run into it, and put his hand on it, trying to break it. "SENSEI! LEO! GUYS, HELP ME!" he screamed, banging on the shield. **

**Usagi chuckled behind him, coming up and wrapping his arms around him, his paws caressing his skin. "They don't care Michelangelo, they don't care."**

**Mikey moved to punch Usagi hard, trying to stop him, and cried out when he felt some sort of electricity pass through him. He weakened instantly, and felt Usagi's hands holding him up against the shield. He felt himself being positioned, facing the door, seeing his family. **

**He screamed and fought, but his body wasn't listening to his commands, he tried hard to move his flailed limbs but they weren't responding to his panicked commands. He banged on the shield, wondering why he felt it, why it was so hard, and why no one could hear him. He whimpered, another type of magic….**

**He banged on the shield, seeing it shimmer and tried banging on it again, but he was too weak to break it. He saw Don walk by, talking with Splinter, and he screamed, seeing them clearly. He called and screamed, especially when he felt Usagi move behind him, and felt pain once again.**

**They stood right outside his door, discussing a planned run like it was normal. Not even seeing his pain or hearing him scream...**

"**See, no one wants you," Usagi whispered in his ear as he assaulted Mikey, his nails scratching his skin. **

**Mikey cried, '_No...they cant see me because of you...right?...god...please...' _his heart tearing in two….**_** 'He's right….no one wants me…I'm useless…'**_

* * *

Leatherhead was becoming concerned at the state Michelangelo was getting into, his body was tense, and he was crying in his sleep. "Michelangelo, wake up, it is a dream!" but nothing was working. He called out for the turtle family, his worry increasing when he noticed Michelangelo hands were clenched, and blood was dripping from them.

Splinter was running hard, seeing Leatherhead's dilemma. "My son, please awake," but nothing worked. Then Michelangelo started to scream. Just screams of pain, no words, which made them panic even more.

Suddenly, the lair filled with a bright light, and with weapons grabbed and armed, the turned to the intruders, and saw the Daimyo, surrounded by healers. "My friends, calm, these are but Healers to help Michelangelo," he said, trying to avoid bloodshed, and be heard over Mikey's screams.

There was one women dressed in pure white robes with blue trim who spoke rapidly to her council. Then she turned and they saw her features, blue hair tied neatly up in a ponytail and eyes that seem to shift in color. She spoke, "What one is here to allow us to work some magic?" she said, her voice worried and fearful.

Splinter stepped forward, "I am his father, Splinter, tell me, what is wrong with him?" He watched as they joined hands, surrouding his son, chanting words and energy started to build up around them. A blue healing light seem to envelop the area, seemingly fighting with a red light that covered Michealngelo's body.

She sighed, glancing at Mikey's whimpering body, the energies fighting against eachother, a white golden light attached to her, feeding to his son, "He is badly injured Splinter-san. He needs to be healed… the removal of some of the restraints on him will hurt, but if these injuries are not healed, it could cause damage in the future," she said, her hands twisting anxiously.

"What are the injuries?" Don asked, wondering how they can tell. He examined Mikey earlier, but couldn't find any injuries, despite Leatherhead's claims that there were some.

"He has many bruises and contusions all over his body, three of his ribs are cracked, two are broken. His arm seems to have been twisted behind him, causing stress on the inside of his shoulder bone, cracking it in half…which may have caused some nerve damage. I will not know until," she faltered, glancing away, "until I drop the magick that's been holding him together and without injury. This will cause him pain, but he will not heal otherwise."

Splinter frowned, not wanting to cause his son even more pain, "Can you heal him without causing pain?"

"I am sorry Splinter-san, he will be in pain… this needs to be done. The magick is taking a lot from him, causing the adverse reaction you see now. His mind is trying to break free, but the magick is punishing him for remembering," she explained sadly.

Splinter nodded, "So be it. Heal my son to the best of your abilities, we will help him recover."

The women Healer nodded, returning to the others, and they circled around Mikey, speaking in a different language. The Daimyo stood beside Splinter, putting a massive hand on his shoulder, "Your son is indeed a strong warrior. He will overcome this."

Leo spoke, concentrating on Mikey's shaking body as the Healers chanted, "What is being done about that bastard?"

Everyone glanced at Leonardo, not used to such language coming from him. The Daimyo replied quietly, "I have scheduled the Elders to come and meet with you. You will not have to confront him until the last end of the trial. Right now, they are investigating, and wish to speak with Michelangelo. They understood when I explained that he was being controlled by the Magick," and pointed at the women they spoke with earlier, "That is Ariiliya. She is the High Priestess of the Moon. She is the one who helps the other magick. When she heard about Usagi's crimes, she was filled with great anger."

Leo glanced at the Daimyo, hearing the respect and awe in his voice, and heard Leatherhead gasp, "What is it Leatherhead?"

"RAPHIE!" broke through the conversation, and suddenly, with a quick blur rushing past them, Raph was suddenly beside Mikey, holding his hand, speaking softly, consoling his little brother. There was a loud cry of pain, and they all moved towards the couch, wanting to help Mikey, but the other Healers held them back.

"He's hurt, let us help him!" Don said, trying to dart past them.

"No Donatello. I know you want to help your brother, but this must be done without any interference," Ariiliya said softly.

"Raph is there, why can he help, but we can't?" Leo asked, feeling anger because he couldn't help his brother.

"Raphael seems to have the same connection with him. I am not sure what it is, but I do know that it is strong," Ariiliya said softly, not wanting to upset the turtles further.

Splinter sighed, waving his sons back and he spoke, "Help my son," he said gently.

Ariiliya smiled and walked over to Mikey's sobbing form, cradled in Raphael's arms, "The magick is being taken away now, but the memories are fragmented. He would need a mind Healer to help him deal with the trauma….do you have access to one?" she asked Raphael.

Raph glanced up, and shook his head 'no' and then asked roughly, his baby brother crying softly in his induced sleep, "He's gonna get better, right?"

Ariiliya frowned, not wanting to give hope when a crime like this changes someone so much. "He will always be affected, but with love and support, he will come back. He may not be the same as you remember, but he will be healed."

Raph chuckled, hearing the non committal answer. "I'm gunna kill that bastard!"

Ariiliya smiled, a little strained, "You will get your justice for your brother Raphael. I must ask something, but we must go to everyone for an answer."

Raph frowned, but got up anyway, making sure Mikey was in a deep sleep before following Ariiliya to the meeting. He sat down and waited for her to start.

"I need to know if you are prepared for dealing with this. This trauma that he has been affected by is deeply traumatizing. Have you been told exactly what the magick that the accused has used?" she asked quietly. She needed to know this information if they were to help Michelangelo.

"We will support Mikey, you have no doubt about that," Don said hotly, "We love him!... and no, we haven't been told about the magick. Can you elaborate?" remembering the strange question.

Healer Ariiliya frowned, nodding her head slowly, "The magick used was anchored to receptors in his body, causing him pain. Along with this, he will have difficulty with his memories. Are you able to deal with the memories and flashbacks? If not, I would like you all to return to the Nexus, Michelangelo needs some healing with counsellors and help with his memories. You do not have the resources right now to do this, is that correct?"

Leo glanced at Splinter, and then at everyone else, "NO! Mikey is staying here, this is his home!" he said angrily, confused and upset at everything changing so rapidly, "We can help Mikey, I know we can," _They didn't need anyone! They could help Mikey! _He thought frantically, he needed to atone for his mistakes.

Raph shook his head, remembering what he read in the journal, "No…." he stated quietly.

Leatherhead had just been about to talk when he heard Raphael speak, "What do you mean Raphael?"

Raph glanced up from his kneeling position, his eyes burning with rage and sorrow, as he met everyone's eyes before he spoke, "Mikey can't stay here…not 'ight now. This place…. It's full of pain… he wuz hurt here. Betrayed. We can help 'im elsewhere, but not here."

"Don," he said, his gaze among him, "Do you know how to heal wounds of the heart? Of the mind? Do you know how to help someone whose to scared to do nuthin?" Raph asked, his voice low, rumbling as he thought outloud, "we needs a place where nuthin' can remind him. Not till he's ready."

Healer Ariiliya nodded, "This is why I suggest the Nexus. He will be able to have access to mind healers and counsellors to help him. Healers that can help rehabilitate him. Consider this an alternative, so he may heal," she said solemnly, "He will be in this Healing sleep for a few more hours before we can give him some medication, give me your decision then."

She left them behind, a family, turtles, humans and a big crocodile named Leatherhead along with the Daimyo, their decision on whether to stay or go to the Nexus.


	6. Reactions

Mikey whimpered, waking up, images and sounds cascading around him. He could see the walls of the lair around him, and felt panic at how he was feeling. Foggy and tired as he pushed himself up. Glancing around he saw Raph lying on the cot next to him, and some strange people dressed in robes nearby, watching him.

Mikey tensed up, uneasy. He wondered who these people were. Glancing around, he saw the Daimyo and his father speaking, and he whimpered scared. _What was going on? Who are these guys?_ He thought frantically as he moved a bit. He let out a cry of pain as he moved, wondering why he hurt so much.

He whimpered again, seeing that Raph woke up. He tensed as he felt his hand on his arm, "What's going on Raph?" he asked hoarsely.

Raph frowned, not sure of what to reveal, but said, "Many things. Um, Masta Splinter brought the Daimyo here, so he brought some healers…they are helping to heal you," he explained quietly.

Mikey frowned, closing his eyes as he tried to remember, "Oh….Usagi…Shit, Raph, please, believe me, I didn't want it!" he said, sitting up, a cry of pain escaped his mouth.

Raph nodded his head, "I know Mikey, I know. We're here 'ight now, we believe you," he said holding Mikey as he cried.

"You gotta believe me, I didn't want it….I…didn't want it…" Mikey sobbed, "I…I…tried to stop….it hurt.. …I didn't want it..." he said crying in his brothers arms.

Raph held his brother, whisper, "I believe you, it's okay Mikey. I believe you…that bastard ain't gonna hurt ya no more."

Mikey started crying again, he had hurt his older brother best friend by telling. He felt so confused and mixed up. He wondered why he hurt so much right now, his head felt odd, foggy, and pounding. He could hear Raph telling him he believed him, and he cried.

He felt so dirty. So used and broken, he kept repeating, "I didn't want it," over and over until he passed out from exhaustion.

* * *

Raph held his brother until he passed out, glancing at his still sniffling form, sadness just pouring off of him. He laid his brother down gently, and walked quietly to the door. Waving his family and friends over, he discussed what he thought they should do.

"Mikey….I…I don't know if we can do this…Mikey needs ta talk to someone who can help him….someone who don't know us…or him personally," Raph said quietly, slowly breaking his heart knowing he couldn't help his brother, "I..his sadness is everywhere..Its around us, I don't know why we couldn't feel it before!" he said confused.

Ariiliya walked over with a sad smile on her face, "I believe I can explain. Your brother is a natural Empath."

Splinter shook his head, "Healer Ariiliya, I had my son tested for that many years ago, and he did not show any signs of being an Empath."

She shot back, "Then why did you test him?"

Splinter replied, "I had him tested because of his talents with his brothers. He has always been able to know what to do when they are upset or feeling sad. When we travelled to see the Ancient One, the Ninja Tribunal had tested him, and said his gifts were just coincidence."

Leo frowned, thinking about their last encounter with the Ninja Tribunal and thought to himself, "But what did that mean? Does it mean he doesn't have any gifts? I know he does. He's an incredible fighter, and he is easily able to control Chi and he has an abundance of energy," he said pointedly.

Splinter frowned, and thought hard about their encounter with them, remembering the difficulty Michelangelo had with the trials, the mocking remarks of the Tribunal when it came to his youngest. He often wondered if they had done something to his youngest because of his inability to concentrate after having their memory modified when they were but mere children.

"Tell me Leonardo, do you remember your encounter with the Ancient One and the demon when you were children?" Splinter asked seriously.

Leo nodded, "Yeah, I remembered it for months….well, actually since we had that battle with Shredders demon and after we met the Tribunal again," he said shrugging. He recalled their first meeting with the Tribunal, memories filtered in, and the night they fought the demon with Splinter and the Ancient one was clear.

Splinter frowned and turned to the Healer, "Did your healing magic work on all tampering on his body?" he asked urgently.

Ariiliya nodded, "Of course. We noticed many spells on him; incidentally, we also noticed spells on Raphael. We have taken it off since he was involved within Michelangelo's healing circle."

Raph jumped up, feeling shocked, but he remained calm, "What do you mean?" he said, noticing the anger wasn't the first thing he felt, but rather felt fear, and curiousness. Something he wasn't used to.

Ariiliya stepped back, "I mean there were several spells on your person, as well as Leonardo, Donatello, the one called Leatherhead and you Splinter-san. You all have been tampered with, I assumed you all knew this, this is why I did not say anything. If you wish, come, we can do healing circles with you all."

Don held his hands up, "WOAH! Wait,-" he said, stopping them, "First, our concern is Mikey. He needs to be in a place he feels is safe, and where his injuries can be cared for. I think we should move to the Nexus, I am sure we can find a residence there, but Mikey cannot heal here. There is too many bad memories that can destroy any progress he may make. It would be better if we go there," he explained.

She smiled, "Of course, do you all feel this way?" she asked.

At their nods, she smiled, "I will inform the Daimyo of your decision. You may all go to the treatment centre where Michelangelo can attend; I think you all need it."

* * *

Splinter sighed, feeling older than ever, the guilt in his heart was overwhelming. He had failed his youngest. His baby was hurt, terrorized and abused and he had no clue. He would live with the pain until he died. He vowed he would get his revenge on Usagi.

He glanced over at Michelangelo, his eyes filled with pain, solemn of the situation, and this incredible need for revenge. This anger that wanted to crumble his controlled walls around him.

He never felt such hate, on such a bigger scale then the Shredder. He didn't know why Usagi did this, nor did he want to know why. He just wanted punishment. He wanted his son back. But looking at his youngest, his baby, seeing shadows, fear and hidden betrayal in his eyes, felt like it stabbed through his soul.

* * *

Donnie walked to his room; packing many items he wanted to work on while in the Nexus, as well as gathering several notebooks to help organize his thoughts. He kept wondering why he never noticed anything. 

_Did Usagi's magic affect them all? Did they really ignore the signs? How could they not see the pain their brother was in…._

Don glanced around the lair, seeing it in a different light, a different world, it wasn't really home…it was tainted….nothing was going to be the same again.

* * *

Leo finished packed his books and weapons, grabbing all the things that meant something to him, in his duffel bag. He walked over to his shelf, picking up a picture of his family. _His brothers, his father. They were all smiling, and things were good then. How young they were…. And now, he had betrayed his brother, had allowed his brother to be abused, and let his best friend manipulate him to hurt his younger brother. _

_He was sickened and disgusted with himself. He wanted nothing more than to get hid revenge, but he couldn't even allow himself to have that. It wasn't his place but how he wanted it. His best friend, like a brother, a warrior like him, abused his baby brother. _

_Did stuff to him…raped him….and he allowed him to stay….it was his fault…he was friends with Usagi…. Best friends….and now….he was disgusted and feeling immense guilt that he deserved. _

Finishing packing his pictures, he found one lone frame. It contained a picture of him and Usagi, their smiles on their faces as they held each other, he felt the rage build up and he grabbed the picture frame, slamming it hard into the wall, destroying it.

He ignored the burning pain in his hands from the cuts on his hands, from the broken glass, and yanked the picture out. He grabbed a match from his kit and burned the picture, relishing in destroying it.

Glancing at his bleeding hand, he smiled hatefully as Usagi's picture burned away, "I will get revenge for you Mikey…until you are able to get your own."

* * *

Raph glanced down at his baby brother, laying there bruised, cut, and in pain, and he felt rage and sadness deep inside him. He hated Usagi now more than ever. Raph sighed, hearing a small whimper in his brother's sleep, and felt himself wishing it was him that was hurt. Not his brother.

_They prided themselves in keeping Mikey's innocence, his childish nature. And now….he was scared it was gone forever. And that worried him. It was Mikey, the funny little jokester that loved playing pranks, scaring people and handing out random hugs and good advice. _

_Mikey was his best friend for a reason, he knew how to react, when he needed to talk, and when he needed to vent. He was fun to hang out with and allowed him to be himself. Raph sat back thinking of the last few weeks, trying to figure out a pattern, a clue that might tell him that Mikey was being hurt, but he hadn't even seen anything. _

_Ariiliya said it wasn't their fault. _

Raph sighed, his heart clenching at the pain he felt, the guilt that seem to wrap around him. "It is our fault," he said sadly.

* * *

A/N: Well here's another chapter. School's almost out, THANK GOD, then I can write again. Who said Professors aren't cruel. LOL. Our professors all said that the tests were easy, short answers. LOL. All school year the biggest paper we ever had was 6 pages APA style. Now the tests are the killers. 3 tests so far. Each test had about 10 pages of written work for answers. Geez, you think they love it? LOL

Anyhoo, just 2 weeks, I start my practicum and I"M GRADUATE! I'm so happy. LOL. More time to write too! Peace all, and review if you can! Thankies!


	7. Bad News

Hiya! Another chapter down. Hope it all like it enough to review. LOL. Thanks to all interested.

* * *

They travelled to the Battle Nexus and the Daimyo met them at the meet-up point. "My friends, you are welcomed to stay here," he said, waving at the section of his home they arrived in, "This suite will be here to help you all heal."

"I thank you Daimyo. I hope that this will help Michelangelo heal mentally as well as physically," Splinter said gravely, glancing at his youngest still unconscious on the stretcher they had him on.

They healers gathered around them, smiling as they bowed to the Daimyo. They were directed towards a suite up ahead. They allowed the Healers to bring Michelangelo to a private medical room close by, and started to unpack.

* * *

45 minutes later:

Mikey moaned, his body seemed to be engulfed in pain. _What's going on? Why..why do I hurt so much?...daddy? Please…make the pain s..stop_ he thought out painfully, eyes opening weakly.

He saw people in robes around him, and tensed up, a weak cry leaving his lips.

"Calm young one, you are in the Battle Nexus…we are Healers…I will bring your family," one said nearby, seeing the panic in the young turtle.

Mikey cringed back, another cry leaving his lips when he realized he hurt, everywhere. His shoulder burned with pain, his hand strangely numb. Between his legs felt burned and bruised, and his ribs burned with pain. He felt scared, confused and terrified.

One Healer ran out the room, knowing the turtle was starting to panic.

"I...I want my dad!" Mikey cried out, eyes widened with fear, trying to move, to get away, looking around frantically. He started to cry, his emotions were in turmoil, fear and disgust, shame and guilt.

His pain seem to extend outwards, causing others to feel his pain. He vaguely heard the Healers gasp in shock. He whimpered, and felt a calming barrier around him, and opened his eyes, seeing a blue shield. He cringed back at the show of magic, his fear elevating. He pushed himself up, crying out in pain, as he scrambled off the bed, trying to scramble into the corner.

He sobbed, "I…I want my..dad…please…wh..where is my dad?" he said, sobbing.

Healer Dayis ran through the corridors, hurrying. He could sense the pain and anguish that was exploding outwards from the turtle, and then the shield preventing it. He ran as fast as he could, hurrying towards where the Turtle family was staying.

"Master Splinter, children, Michelangelo awoke and he is very distressed!" he said.

Splinter jumped up, and started running through the corridors, towards his baby. He frowned when he felt his son's pain and anguish as he got closer to his room, and gasped at the depth of it. He ran in, seeing Michelangelo in the corner, crying and shaking.

"My son, it is alright, I am here," he said, crouching beside his son, pulling him into a hug. His heart beat faster when he hear Michelangelo speak.

"I'm..I'm sorry Dad…I..I tried ta stop him…I really did…it.." but his voice was weak, broken. He cried into his father's arms, hating himself.

"My son, it was not your fault. It is not your fault," he repeated over and over, "I still love you, your brothers still love you, it is going to be okay…we'll help you."

Mikey trembled in his father's arm, his emotions and physical pain starting to merge together, making him cry out in pain. He clutched his father, "It..it hurts…please…it hurts…" he sobbed.

One of the Healers came forward, offering a cup of water, "It has pain reliever in it," she explained. Splinter took the cup, and held it towards his son.

"Take this Michelangelo, it will help with the pain," he said, his heart heavy with sorrow and mixed with the pain he felt from Michelangelo. He didn't understand why he was feeling his son's pain, his emotions, the guilt and shame. He coaxed his son into drinking the medicine.

Mikey whimpered, but felt the pain receding, and looked up, eyes filled with tears. "Dad…I'm sorry…" he said, his voice wavering on the brink of tears.

"My son, listen when I say, you are not at fault. What happened to you…it was wrong. That…filth harmed you against your will. I know you did not wish it. Understand, I will love you no matter what. I believe you," Splinter said firmly.

Mikey's head ducked down, eyes closing as he remembered snippets of memory. '_Daddy is wrong…I…I must have done something…it's my fault…all my fault…'_ and he felt himself being picked up gently, and placed on the bed.

"Don't leave me alone…" he whispered, tightening his grip on his dad's arm.

"I will not leave you, you're brothers are here as well, we will not leave you, this I swear," Splinter said softly. He caressed his son's face gently, wishing the bruises and marks were so prominent, "Sleep my son; I will be here when you wake."

Mikey nodded, drowsily, before he let his eyes drop and he slept.

Splinter sighed, seeing his son relax from the medicine, and looked up for Healer Ariiliya. Spotting her and his sons standing nearby, he asked, "What…what was with his emotions?" he asked, just now realizing there was a shield up, "What are you doing?"

Healer Ariiliya stepped forward, her hands in a calming motion, "Michelangelo's empathetic powers are outside his own control… and he is deeply troubled…his emotions are pushed outward," she explained, "He does not wish to feel these emotions, so he tries to push them away…by doing so, he is causing those around him to feel his emotions. This shield is one that will prevent it from leaving the circle."

Splinter frowned in thought and was startled when he heard Donatello speak. "His empathy…that is what the Tribunal must have taken…trapped…he has never been taught it," he said wondering, before he glanced up, "How is Mikey healing?"

Another Healer stepped forward, his brown hair and rainbow eyes caught their attention, "His injuries are healing slowly but they are on the mend. The only concern we have right now is his left arm. The nerves appear to not be healing as fast as we try to encourage them…" he said softly.

"What does that mean to his mobility in that arm?" Don asked, his sharp mind catching the implications.

"It means Donatello, that your brother may not regain full use of his arm. It is a wait and see situation," Healer Ariiliya said softly.


	8. Confusion and Lies

**A/N**

Hadih everyone! Isn't is sweet, I'm back online, just going slow. LOL, copy and paste is a drag. LOL. But I got another chapter done and looking to update another soon. Probably finish up Who was He today. I'm sorry its taking so long. And Mikey's Secret will be updated in a week or so. Hopefully. But Hope you all like it. Reviews would be sweet :)

* * *

Donnie bit his lip, concern flowing through his body as he heard the implications. He didn't like those words. "He will regain use. He's strong, determined and quick to heal. He will heal, we just got to have faith."

His brothers nodded beside him, agreeing with Don's words.

Ariiliya nodded, a small smile growing over her face, lighting up her eyes, "With such strong beliefs and hope, you're brother will heal," and she slowly walked away, almost gliding across the floor with grace.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a detainment center, Usagi sat at a table where a Admiral he knew and loved in his army, approached him, his body tense with anger, his ears bent slightly, showing his anger.

He tensed, angry that his memory charms failed on the brat, but a small smile flickered across his face at the memory of Michelangelo below him, whimpering in pain.

Suddenly he felt a hand plow across his face, his face snapped to the side, a yelp ringing in the air. He glanced up, gulping.

"Usagi Miyamato, when you joined this army, you were skilled in combat, a credit to your family. You have raised your sons into fine boys before they were killed," his Admiral said slowly, his eyes cold and furious, "but when I received word that you have abused a child, a turtle on another world, who is sentient and practically human in every way except looks, makes me sick."

"Admiral Jayto, it is a misunderstanding, I did not abuse Michelangelo. We were in a relationship," he countered quickly, trying to get him to see from his point of way. He knew all to well he forced the little one, a smile passing his face once more.

"A relationship you say," Admiral Jeyto said, his eyes smoldering with disgust, picking up a folder he had gotten from the table. "Why then, did you proceed to beat, and manipulate Michelangelo Hamato into submission?"

"I didn't, he did that himself. He's kinky and wanted it. He wanted to please me. He was nothing to his family, they didn't care," Usagi said, eyes slightly gazed as he smiled.

Jeyto couldn't believe Usagi's words and felt like slitting the rabbits throat, but the victim would need help. Usagi was a wealthy warrior on their world.

"So how was he then?" Jeyto asked, sitting down, keeping his face blank.

"It was fun! He was begging me to 'fuck' him, like they said on Earth. He's what you call a 'Slut' so it was his job to please me. He's no good for anything else, and had a sweet mouth," he said, thinking Jeyto was interested, "I'm sure he'll please me again to prove it."

Jeyto stood up, his fists clenching the folder as he tried to reign in his anger and disgust, "How can you do such a vile crime Usagi. You know our laws, and this stands for the ultimate punishment. Do you honestly think you will win in trials?"

Usagi's eyes were wide, as he nodded his head, "Of course. Michelangelo will not be able to testify against me, I made sure of that, and without a witness, there is no case."

Jeyto left, a quick order to send Usagi back to the cells. He was furious. He felt his stomach clench up at the thought of interviewing the young turtle, something he wasn't looking forward to.

He left the room, his stomach clenched painfully as he thought about his nephew in the room. Usagi never knew he was his uncle, something he hid from the orphaned youth. He helped in small ways as he grew older, always helping him get ahead. When Usagi's sons died in a raid, he was there with Usagi, helping him through his grief as team commander.

But now, he couldn't justify Usagi's actions, and wondered briefly if he had done this before. With that thought, he decided to investigate his nephew, sending a request for someone else to head the investigation as he was too intimately involved.

_Oh Usagi, you had such a promising future, and to destroy it for lust….you have destroyed yourself…_ he thought as he left the base, and returned home to his wife and children, needing to remind himself that there was good in the world.

* * *

**Three Weeks Later:**

Mikey sat on the swing set that was outside their temporary home, nervous and scared. His arm was still in a sling, his arm still unable to move correctly. He had a chance to have some surgery but he refused for the moment, not wanting to concentrate on that at the time.

_He was quiet now, a shadow of his former self. He didn't know how to respond to his family, a part of him still angry at them for never seeing his pain, his hurt, the other part feeling immensely guilty for his part in everything. _

'_His counselor, Healer Dayis was trying to convince him it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't to blame for anything. But no matter how hard it was, he thought it was fault. It felt like it was his fault. That he had to have done something to get Usagi to like him that way, to think that he wanted it.'_

He shivered, flinching from memories, not wanting to remember, wishing he hadn't remembered. _He felt filthy, dirty, poisoned. _

"Hey Mike, how are you today?" Don said softly, glancing at his little brother.

Mikey glanced up, feeling oddly out of place. He shrugged, "'m okay," he said softly.

Don sighed, shaking his head, wishing he could get his little brother to talk. "So did you see your statue yet?"

Mikey flinched at the thought, shivering slightly, '_I always knew the Battle Nexus Champion would endure me quite well….you looked so nice the day you won'_ echoed in his head briefly, Usagi's voice slipping through his focus.

"No," he snapped at Don, angry that it brought Usagi's voice into his head. He felt unclean again, flinching away from Don as he had moved slightly.

He got up, stammering, "I…I need a shower…" he said, before leaving Don behind.

Don watched him sadly, eyes filled with remorse and pain. '_He didn't know what to do and felt helpless. He wanted to bring Mikey back, their Mikey, and the one who laughed, joked and sparkled with happiness.'_

* * *

Mikey hurried along the corridors, lost in thought as he hurried to his room. _**He wanted nothing more than to write his thoughts in a book, they screamed in his head, needing release….but he was afraid to**_.

His hands shook as his breathing quickened, a small strangled gasp left his mouth as he tried to hold back his cries. _**He had to be strong, to be stronger for his brothers. For his dad, who was trying so hard to make him feel better….but why didn't they save him? **_

He moved around his room, looking for the towels here, wanting to shower. He sighed, sitting on his bed, his head in his hands as he tried to stop himself from crying.

_**How could he get rid of the demons, the filth, and the thoughts in his head? Why couldn't he get Usagi out of his head, his words, his touch, his scent… It was all around him, reminding him, telling him what he allowed Usagi to do….that he let Usagi touch him like that**_

Tears of disgust built up as he laid on the bed, his hands shaking as he tried to fight against the sensations he was feeling. He remembered it all…and it was haunting him…

He started to cry.

He heard a soft knock on his door ten minutes later and hastily wiped his eyes free of his tears. "C…Come in," he called out weakly, tensing slightly.

He saw a pale green hand push against the door, opening it slightly, recognizing Leo's particular shade. He tensed again, watching warily as Leo's head popped through the doorway, "Hey Mikey….c..can we talk?" he asked warily, bags under his eyes.

Mikey didn't respond for a moment, grabbing a pillow and clutching it as he watched warily, shrugging his shoulders before wincing in pain as his injured shoulder was jostled.

Leo stood there, looking uncertain and confused, "I..I can leave if you want…I..I just wanted to talk about what's going to happen next…" he said softly.

Mikey tensed up some more, his hands gripping the pillow tightly as he whispered, "About what?"

"About Usagi…" Leo saod, looking away, guilt and shame in his eyes.

_How Mikey wanted to yell, to scream at his older brother. To scream and tell him everything his best friend had done to him. Had tainted his soul, made it old and full of broken shadows…the light and purity he had always associated with his soul….shattered apart. _

"I don't want to talk about him Leo….please.." he said shakily.

Leo stood in the doorway, leaning against it, eyes serious, "You have to talk about it sometime Mikey…I'm a good listener…"

Mikey's eyes grew dark and angry, and he snapped, "You want to hear about how your best friend held me down, telling me how much my big brother loved me? How he wished I would grow up? How innocent and loving I was?" he said, standing up, anger pouring his entire body.

"No, I mean—a.." Leo said, eyes wide as he saw the anger in Mikey's eyes. He stepped back as Mikey walked towards him.

"Would you like me to tell you about when he held me down as I cried? How about when he made me touch him, stroke him….how he said he loved my body….how it belong to him now…." Mikey said angrily, tears going down his cheeks he didn't notice, "that I was his pet."

He continued to speak, his voice steely and hard, glaring at a rapidly paling Leo, "How about I tell you about a big brother I loved dearly and was trusting shattered my soul as well, tearing my thoughts, feelings and entire world onto the ground like I was trash! Destroying the one place I could be free with my thoughts and words and not be scared!" he roared, his right fist slamming into the nearby wall, the crunch of bricks breaking and bone breaking echoing through the lair.

Mikey slid to the ground, sobbing, curling up on the floor, his knees against his plastron as he cried into his knees, his broken hand clutched into his chest "You want me ta tell ya that I wanted nothin' more in the world for you all to save me…but no one did…not dad, not Raph, not Don..and not you...n..no one did…and my nightmare continues…"


	9. Upsetting News

**A/N: Mikey flashes back to an incident with Usagi. Abuse scene. You were warned. **

* * *

Leo was shocked, hurt and silent as he stared at the crumbled figure of his little brother crying in front of him, before his brain worked again, and he was moving forward, intending to comfort Mikey.

_But Mikey cried in fear, begging to not be touched, and that he was sorry, and it was breaking his heart. He felt his own tears build and fall down his cheeks as he cried, crumpled up, and broken. _

_He didn't know how to fix this, he didn't know how to help, and he was lost…._

"Mikey…I swear…I'll help you…you aren't alone…not anymore…." He whispered painfully, his heart thudding as he spoke, his tears running down his cheeks as he tried to push the shame and guilt that build in his body, wanting him to scream and cry out loud.

Mikey continued to cry quietly, flinching in fear at his brothers words, trying to not take in any of his words.

_**He had already torn him apart…dismissed his thoughts, words, and feelings when he tore his journal. He had been writing for years, that journal had just been one in a large collection he had written, and over the years, trying to salvage his older ones from their constant dangers and disasters. **_

_**He stared at his big brother, the one he admired, and loved, and felt safe with…and for the longest time, he had complete faith and trust in him…in all of his family…but he couldn't trust them now…**_

_**How could he trust his family anymore….what if they never stopped it again….what if they never heard his cries…what if they never heard his pleas for help…if he ever needed help…**_

"I can't trust you…any of you…please…just go away….just go away…" he begged, bringing his broken hand to his chest, rocking slightly.

Leo flinched, glancing away, and whispered, his voice pained and broken, "I…I understand…and I'll try to get you to trust me again. I'll prove it…we'll all prove it..." he said quietly, "but I can't leave you…you're hurt…and upset…please…just talk to me…"

Mikey shook his head, his body tensed as he rocked himself against the wall, his emotions building around him, broken and in pieces as he begged, "Please..no more…go away..please…just go away…I…I don't n…need you… not anymore…" he whispered, before he reacted, jumping up and starting to run through the door.

Leo jumped up after him, chasing him and tackling him across the waist, ignoring his pained grunts, and said angrily, "What do I have to do to get you to trust me again! Huh? What do I have to do to make you talk to me?" he said angrily.

"Get off, get off, don't touch me, get off, don't touch me," Mikey chanted, struggling to get free as Leo pinned him down, eyes glazing over as he struggled, "DON'T TOUCH ME! GET OFF! NO! NO MORE! PLEASE NO MORE!"

Voices yelled for Mikey, trying to figure out what was going on, the sounds of feet against the floor, slapping the hard polished floor as it drew closer.

Leo grunted, shaking, "NO!, You said you trusted me! That you forgive me! Y..you can't just do that and throw it away!" he said, tears in his eyes.

Mikey's eyes darkened again, anger and pain flashing as he begged, trying to get free, "PLEASE….please…someone help…please…." He said, tears rolling down his cheeks as his control slipped away from him and Leo gasped as he suddenly felt such torn emotions.

He gasped loudly, scrambling back as Mikey scurried away from him, his emotions flowing through the room, allowing him to experience them.

_**Anger, hurt, betrayal, scoff, disbelief, self-hatred, self disgust, worthlessness, pity, sadness, so much sadness….and under it all guilt, shame and distrust of everyone…and fear….unbelievable fear…**_

Leo felt choked up, his throat felt like it was really being choked until he realized he was being choked, and grunted, trying to break the hold around it. He saw Leatherhead's furious gaze, his voice booming through the room as he roared, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"

Raph ran into the room, eyes wide as he took in the sight in an instant. Leo in Leatherhead's arms, being choked and Mikey on the floor, crying and his eyes looked blank and broken.

He hurried to where Mikey was curled up in tears, feeling the overwhelming emotions that seem to surge and echo around him, the intensity hurt, but he ignored it. He landed on his knees in front of him, calling his name.

"Mikey! Shit, look at me! What the Shell happened?" Raph said rapidly, trying to get Mikey's attention.

But Mikey ignored him, muttered words whispered under his breathe as he scurried away, hitting the wall and curling up, whimpering.

"Mikey…it's okay…no one is going to hurt you…" he said softly, wanting to get Mikey's attention until Splinter came.

But Mikey looked like he didn't even acknowledge him, his eyes were glazed, haunted. And then he noticed the bleeding knuckles, the way Mikey held it to his chest, the whimper of pain.

"What tha fuck did you do?" Raph asked bluntly, eyes wide as he reached over to help him.

Mikey flinched away, "Don't touch me, please don't, I'll be good, please….don't touch me," he murmured, eyes glazed as he looked up.

Raph sighed, "I'm not gonna hurt ya Mikey. One day, you'll believe that…" he said softly, just sitting beside Mikey, at a loss of what to do, and waiting.

He watched Mikey for a sign, but then he saw Mikey move. He pushed himself up, eyes seem to be lost and blank, but he moved with determination approaching Leatherhead, who was about to blow up.

* * *

Meanwhile, Leatherhead was gripping Leonardo hard around the throat, struggling to not damage him as he watched Leonardo struggle to breathe. _He could hear Donatello's soft voice begging him to concentrate, to relax, to calm down, and in his angered haze, he struggled to not scream. _

_But he could feel the emotions coming from the distraught turtle, his own mentality fragile, and his eyes glowed yellow and he finally dropped the rapidly oxygen deprived turtle. He could hear Leonardo's strangled breathing in the backround, his body trembling as he tried to calm down, to not snap and give into his instincts to maul and harm._

Suddenly, he heard silence in the room, glancing up, seeing Michelangelo in front of him, holding out his bleeding hand, his eyes blank and exhausted, filled with shadows and pain.

"M…michelangelo…y..you must…go…" he choked out, not wanting to hurt his friend.

Mikey gave a hollow smile, and touched his arm, before the entire room was bathed in calmness and a sense of emptiness, Leatherhead's own rage died away the instant Michelangelo touched him.

"My friend, I thank you…" Leatherhead said gratefully, "You must let me help you in return, please, let us see the Healers.."

Mikey was silent for a few moments as he glanced around the room, before he nodded his consent, and allowed Leatherhead to guide him away.

There was silence in the room for a few moments before Raph turned to Leonardo, who was still regaining his breathe.

"What did you do?" he said simply.

"I..I just wanted to talk to him, that's all…and…and I upset him," Leo said weakly, staring at the ground in shame.

Don leaned against the wall, shaking his head, thoughts whirling around as he tried to figure out what to do, how to help his little brother, to help the family deal and cope, and restore their balance.

Splinter finally walked in, he looked far older than before, grey hairs seemed to be more prominent and he looked tired. "Where is my son?" he asked simply.

"He went with Leatherhead to fix his hand….why, what's goin' on?" Raph asked since Leo was unable to speak at the moment and Don looked about ready to burst into tears.

"There is an Admiral Jeyto and a Commander Zigu are coming tomorrow to take Michelangelo's testimony and ours as well," Splinter said, walking over to a nearby chair, and sitting down.

Don glanced over at Splinter with a frown, worried about this tiredness that seems to show in Splinter lately.

"Sensei, are you alright?" he asked, feeling bad that he was asking, but needing to.

Splinter shook his head warily, "I am but tired my son, that is all,"

That night, they all slept uneasily.

The next morning, they woke up feeling uneasy and scared. They gathered together, to explain to Mikey what was going to happen.

"My son, I fear I must bring some upsetting news," Splinter said after morning breakfast.

Mikey glanced up, nervous as he fiddled with the sling straps, "What is it Sensei?" biting his lip as he waited.

"I have news we are to meet with some representatives from 2nd Earth….they wish to get your testimony to the crimes committed against you so you can get justice," Splinter said softly, gauging his son's reactions, concerned.

Mikey immediately tensed, his breathing quickened as he comprehended what Splinter said. _His nightmare…his memories were going to be questioned, his injuries explained, his dirty secret revealed to his brothers for everyone to hear. _

"Michelangelo, calm yourself, breathe my son," Splinter tried to get him to calm, but he wasn't comprehending anymore of his words at the moment.

He whimpered, lost in memories, lost in thought….remembering….

* * *

_Mikey curled up on the bed, his lower half bleeding freely, his legs covered with Usagi's release. He had tears running down his cheeks as he curled up, ignoring the sharp pains echoing throughout his body. He wanted to scream, but his throat throbbed and hurt. _

_Usagi grinned as he walked over, pausing in front of him, his one hand waving something, the other sprinkling some sort of powder. He whimpered as his head felt heavy again, as he struggled to scream, to move away….to do anything…_

"_You are mine little one, always…" Usagi's voice purred through the darkness of the room as he stepped closer, "You are my little pet, my whore, and you will please me," and Mikey felt his body moving. _

_He trembled inwardly, wanting to react, but his body seemed to be obeyingUsagi's commands, and tried to bite down as he felt the warmth of Usagi's manhood in his mouth, gagging on the taste but not stopping it. _

_He was glad he could feel the tears run down his face, his only response that was true as he was forced to act in the manner Usagi wanted. He couldn't fight against the magic. _

_When he was done, thrown onto the floor, he looked up, still waiting, as Usagi grinned, "If you tell anyone what we are doing you filthy little whore, I will make sure you are severely punished and your brothers or your humans friends pay the price for your big mouth. Do you wish for this to happen?"_

_Mikey managed to whimper, to shake his head slightly, crying out as Usagi slammed his fist into his cheekbone, the punch causing his body to hit the floor with a loud thunk._

_He trembled as Usagi cleaned himself up, walking to the desk where he had something laid out. He watched in silence as he waited for orders. Suddenly, Usagi yelled his name, and he scrambled over, wanting to scream at the pain in his body. He can feel it, throbbing, aching, fire inside, but he couldn't react. _

_He kneeled in front of Usagi, wanting to cry out as he felt Usagi grip his mouth open, being cruel as he poured a dark blue bottle filled with liquid. He choked slightly as it went down his throat. _

_Finally Usagi left, warning once more to keep his mouth shut. _

_Mikey grabbed his journal, shaking in pain and fear as he wrote what he could before he felt the snap inside his brain, pushing painfully against his skull as the memories were forced away in his mind….fading…Usagi…pain…r..rape… before the darkness engulfed him…_

_When he woke up the next morning…he didn't remember anything….but…there was something echoing in his head to not tell secrets…_

* * *

He jolted back, eyes wide and shocked as he stared at Splinter. "I…I can't….I…I'm sorry!" he whispered painfully, wishing he could say something else, to explain.

Raph's eyes widened in shock and anger, "Why tha Shell not?" he said, walking over, struggling to contain the rage that was building. "He hurt ya! Abused you, took what was yours to give freely to the one you loved! Mikey….he stole a part of your innocence…and you're goin' to let 'im get away wit it?"

Mikey cringed at the harsh words, tears welling up in his eyes, making his once light blue eyes darker and full of shadows. "I can't tell…p..please…d..don't make me," he pleaded, full of fear and shame.

"My son, please explain to us why you do not wish to tell your story," Splinter asked, truly puzzled and perplexed.

Mikey started rocking slightly, his arms curled around each other, in a thin attempt to comfort himself.

Mikey choked back a whimper, shaking his head, "Not allowed. Please. C..can't we forget about it? Please?" his blue eyes looking up, shimmering with tears.

Don bit his lip, worriedly, "Mikey, we have to do this. He needs to be stopped. W…what if he does it to someone else?"

Mikey trembles at the words, paling a little as his voice quivered, "I…he..I can't!" before he jumps up and runs from the room.

Everyone jumped up at same moment, all rushing to chase after their distressed little brother, at their own loss on what they can do to help him.

They went different ways, each taking a different direction in their search for their lost brother.

Splinter stayed behind, sitting silently in the great room. He glanced around, his voice whispering, "My son, so full of pain, of fear. I hope you find the strength you need…"

He slowly got up, his bones aching, a throbbing through his body as he realized he was getting old. As he walked down the hallway, he felt dizzy all of a sudden, the world tilting slightly, little black spots appeared in front of his eyes as he stumbled.

He groaned for a moment, his hand gripping his cane tightly while the other laid against the wall, in an attempt to stop him from falling. The world tilted and whirled around in circles for a few moments before stopping, and returning to normal.

He sighed as he resumed his walk towards his bedroom, acknowledging his aging body needed some rest from these trying days. As he crawled into bed, his last thoughts were on his young son, and how to help him.

He slept.


	10. Talking

Mikey ran down the hall, his mind whirling about what he was told he had to do. His small voice was anxious and filled with fear and self loathing, "How can I tell? Seriously….I barely told them exactly what happened…how do I tell strangers what Usagi did! Why can't they just use my journal?" he muttered to himself as he paced in the hidden garden.

Anxiously, he sat down, curling his legs against him, as he gazed up at the stars. "I just want this over and done with. That's all…I just want to wake up from this nightmare…" and his eyes slowly filled, falling down his cheeks.

He cried for a few moments before tensing, having heard footsteps coming closer. He heard Raph's and Don's voice nearby, and knew they would find him. He remained tense as he heard them whisper to eachother, and than greet Leo.

He bit his lip as they entered his secret grove, upset they were disturbing his peaceful place.

"Why can't you leave me alone?" he said gruffly, angrily wiping his tears away. He didn't understand why he felt such anger and loathing and wished he was the same as before. Before all this happened.

"Sorry Mikey…we were concerned about'cha…we won't say nuthin…just sit here…is tha 'kay?" Raph said softly.

Mikey grunted his acceptance as they all sat down in the grove.

Mikey watched them, their interactions, their movements, how they would nudge eachother, whispering.

He didn't know why, but he felt sad and envious. He wanted to join in. To laugh and tease his brothers but he didn't seem to remember how he did that anymore. He sighed sadly, glancing up at the sky, watching as the stars twinkled and the moons passed by.

_How do I get the courage to tell….I don't want Usagi hurting someone else like me…or my brothers…but…how? _Mikey trembled at speaking out the horrors he was remembering outloud, not sure if he wanted to speak of such things. He didn't want to. He wanted to be left alone.

"Mikey, it's going to rain soon, come…we should get some sleep…we all have a long day tomorrow," Don said softly, making sure he wasn't too close, and not touching Mikey. They learned that as soon as he woke up.

Mikey glanced up at Don, his eyes shimmering with pain and shadows, and he felt the urge to speak again, but then his mind seem to whisper with Usagi's words, '_I will harm all you know if you speak a word of this'_.

Mikey trembled, but closed his lips, and sighed, nodding his head. He got up, following his brothers back to the visitors pavilion, and to his room that was connected to the Healer's room. He crawled under his blankets, thankful for the magic that was hidden in the blankets.

Lying on his bed, listening for the sounds of his brothers going to sleep, he stayed awake. He didn't want to sleep, and knew his memories would return, which was one of the features on the blankets, and to help keep him calm and peaceful, but…he couldn't sleep.

_He always came in his sleep...haunting him..._

* * *

Splinter woke up, feeling strange and tired and old. He sighed as he got up, and got ready for the day. He needed to speak with his youngest son today and somehow convince him to speak against Usagi Miyamato crimes.

He slowly walked towards the dining room, sitting down gratefully in his chair, seeing tea had been placed in the room. Reaching for it, he poured himself a cup, and let it cool while he thought.

_My son…how can I help you? You feel so much pain, wrapped up tightly around you, scared…I only wish to help you. Help you find courage and strength in these troubled times. _Taking a drink of tea, he contemplated on how he could help his youngest.

He heard footsteps nearby, a small smile curling his lips as he realized it was Michelangelo.

"Good Morning Michelnagelo," he called softly as he saw Michelangelo walk around the corner of the door, stepping in, looking a little uncomfortable.

"Mornin' Sensei.." he said softly, walking towards the table, and sitting in the opposite chair, taking the cup of tea gratefully. He drank it slowly, not sure what to say in the early morning.

Splinter watched his son, his heart aching as he saw the pain he was in. "Michelangelo, will you be able to speak about what has happened?"

Splinter watched as his son flinched from the words, and seemingly away from Splinter and it hurt. _It hurts so much to see you in so much pain, to see how you want it all to end. My son, you grew up to fast and faced so much alone. I am here. I want to help you. I want to see your pain ease….talk to me. _

"I don't know sensei…it…it hurts when I think about it…t..talking about it hurts too…" he said quietly, his body tensed and one hand touching his disabled arm with a sigh.

"You must speak my son. It will help ease your pain as well as heal your mental anguish," Splinter said softly.

Mikey glanced up, his eyes wet, "You think talking about it will change anything?" he said softly.

"It will punish the man that hurt you my son…he deserves to be punished…" Splinter said, his hand reaching out, touching Mikey's gentle, ignoring the initial flinch.

"I know that sensei…I want him punished…but…" he breaks off, gazing away, struggling to say what he wanted to.

Splinter watched patient and understanding, giving his son time to contemplate his thoughts. _Oh my son, please talk to me. I only wish to help you…but how can I help when you wish to struggle alone…I am here my son…please…you aren't alone…talk to me…_ he thought as he watched his son struggle.

"Sensei…" Mikey starts again, and his head turns to him, eyes filling with tears, "dad…I can hear his voice…his words of anger and pain…I can hear him in my head…telling me what he would do to my brothers…to you…to April and Casey if I told!" he explains in a rush, worried, "He'll hurt you all…he could kill you…and it would be my fault!"

Splinter's eyes widen slightly at the confession and he got up, walking around the table to his son, and said softly, "We will be careful and we are protected as of right now. Usagi Miyamato is locked away and is unable to follow through on his threats. You must be brave even when you are scared. You were brave to tell us, and we need you to be brave and courageous once more."

"I'm not brave dad…I'm a coward and a wimp…I couldn't stop him! I couldn't stop him touching me…or hurting me…I wanted to, I fought and cried and screamed…but I couldn't beat him!" Mikey cried out, upset and hurt.

"You are brave Michelangelo. Never forget that. You were brave and courageous when you realized what was wrong. You stood your ground, you found help in the form of Leatherhead, and you came and told us. You talked with your counselors about your pain and understanding your Empathetic powers….my son…if you were truly 'a coward and a wimp' as you say, then none of this would have happened…and you would still be hurt," Splinter said pulling his son into a hug.

Mikey heard his father's words, hugging him close, tears slipping down his cheeks as he was listening to his father.

"My son…my baby…you are the bravest I have ever known, even more so than my Master Yoshi…and I know you can do this," Splinter said gently, nuzzling his son's cheek gently.

"Really?" Michelangelo said in a small voice, wiping his tears away.

"Yes my son…believe it here…" tapping Michelangelo's head, and then his plastron where his heart lay, "and here…because I believe it."

There was silence in the room for awhile, as father and son cuddled together. It took some time, but Michelangelo was the first to finally speak, "I can do it father….I'll tell them…."

"I know you will my son…and I shall be there each step of the way," he said with a smile, feeling better now his son was able to help get justice for Usagi's crimes.

_My son…it hurts now…and will always hurt you…but such pain can ease once shared…and over time…the pain will fade to the point where you can live once more…and not hampered with such pain….I am glad I am here for you _Splinter thought as he held his son. He was glad he was sitting as his vision seem to blur once more and that strange dizziness returned but he showed no signs of it.

"Dad…are you okay?" Mikey said softly, glancing over at Splinter, puzzled. He was sure he felt weird…dizziness and tiredness coming from Splinter, but he showed no signs and wondered if his empathy was picking up the wrong things.

"I am fine Michelangelo. I am a little thirsty. Are you able to get me a fresh pot of tea?" Splinter said softly, making sure he was sitting carefully in his chair.

Mikey nodded, "Yes dad..I mean sensei," and got up with a small bounce in his gait, feeling lighter than before.

Splinter watched as Michelangelo left, the dizziness seemingly coming back once again, and he frowned, wondering if he was eating enough. It soon faded, and he smiled as his son returned, carrying a fresh pot of tea and a plate of biscuits and butter.

"Thank you Michelangelo," he said softly.

Mikey nodded, "It's no problem sensei," he said with a small smile. He poured the tea, giving a cup to Splinter while he grabbed himself one, as well as biscuits.

"When will I have to talk with that guy?" Mikey asked curiously.

"Sometime this afternoon my son, but do not fear, we will be here for you, and if you wish, during the interview, I will be nearby," Splinter said with a gentle smile.

Mikey bit his lip, nervously, "okay…"

_I know you can do this my son…you are stronger than you think…and I hope I am able to be here every step of the way…but I fear my time with my sons are nearing the end….I think I shall see the Healers after the interview…_


	11. Where did I Go?

Mikey sat in a chair, staring out the window, getting more nervous and agitated as the time slowly ticked by. He could sense his family nearby, and sometimes, he could sense their eyes on him, watching him. It made him nervous and a little 'freaked' out.

He understood why they wanted to keep their eyes on him, but he hated it. He stared out the window, seeing the market in the distance, passerby's walking and talking, smiles and frowns throughout the crowd.

_I wonder what life is like with them….do they go home at night happy…sad….look at that one boy…he's crying….but no one is doing anything…why?... that look's like his family nearby…they looked like the kid…and they are talking to him. _

_Hmmm, they act like Leo and Raph when they gesture like that…maybe those are his older brothers…oh…I see…he fell…there's blood on his knees…awww that's cute…his mom kissed his owie….I guess that's universal…all over mom's kiss their kids owies…_

His eyes slowly unfocused and he started thinking inwardly _What about me…how…how do I get a hug…be touched…without remembering…I loved hugs…I miss them…_ and his eyes darted over to his family, glancing at Don and Leo playing Chess, and Raph looking through a car magazine he had brought with him. Sensei was reading a novel as well…

_I want to hug them…I…I want them to comfort me…and talk to me without being careful…I want to roughhouse and tease Raphie-boy…I just want to be me….where did I go?_

_Who am I? I know I'm Michelangelo Hamato…I'm a Mutant Ninja Turtle…I was a prankster…I was the one who made them smile and laugh. I was the one who cooked the best meals in the sewers… I thought of the Battle Shell designs… but it's not me now… now… I'm the coward…the weakling. The one who let that rabbit touch him… defile him… I let him hurt me. _

_I let him touch me and take what I cherished the most…my innocence… I lost me…where am I…where can I be…I'm lost guys…please…help me…I don't know who I am…._

Mikey's breathing came more pronounced, and it started to hurt to breathe. He felt like he was in a tunnel all of a sudden…the sensations of hands touching him, words being yelled, caused him to panic even more, and in his panic, he lashed out, batting hands away from his body, scrambling along the floor to get away.

He gasped in pain, jarring his injured shoulder painfully, and cried out as he hit the wall, confused.

Throughout the scrambling and jarring of his body, the small spots appearing before his eyes, he finally managed to gasp out, "Help me," before his eyes slid shut…and he remembered no more…

* * *

Moments before:

Don watched the board, analyzing it carefully, trying to determine his best move, so he would win. Leo was wicked at Chess and always seemed to counter his attacks. It was one of the reasons why Don really enjoyed playing with Leo. He was a challenge.

"Just go already," Leo said, a little impatient. He was antsy about this afternoon and was seriously contemplating whether or not to swat Don's head. He always took so long trying to decide his next moves, it was annoying. He sighed, "Don, just go, it's been 17 minutes now already!"

Don chuckled, "I know Leo, just give me another minute…" and his hand moved out towards the Rook, before he changed it to the Horse, finally moving it in the 'L' shape towards Leo's side of the board.

Leo glanced down, smiling, and quickly moved a Bishop and took out Don's adjacent Horse. "You're go… you have 3 minutes max!" Leo said with a warning.

Don glared at Leo, "Fine!" and turned his attention back to the board, before he heard a slight inhale of breathe, in Mikey's distinct gasp, and his head snapped over to where Mikey had been sitting.

"Mikey, are you okay?" Don asked concerned, his golden eyes staring at his little brother in concern.

He frowned as he stood up, walking a little closer to Mikey's chair, calling Mikey's name softly, trying to get his attention. But Mikey seem to be lost in his own little world, his eyes were slightly foggy and lost, and he frowned as he noticed Mikey's breathing was slightly labored and he was gasping.

"MIKEY!" he called out a little louder, trying to get Mikey to focus, kneeling beside his chair, still refraining from touching him. He noticed the others were closer right now, and were trying to get Mikey to breathe.

"He's hyperventilating," Don informed his father, who glanced at him concerned.

"How do we get him to calm down?" Leo asked worriedly, wanting to help calm his little brother.

Mikey's hoarse gasps in the room seem to get louder and louder, and he tensed up.

Splinter reached out and touched his youngest shoulders only to gasp in surprise at the shove of his hand, a green hand pushing him away. "MICHELANGELO! MY SON, it is only I!"

Mikey gasped again, shuddering as he felt hands on him, his semi-good arm batting their arms away, scrambling back, crying out slightly as his shell hit the wall.

His breathing more labored, he gasped out, "Help me.." and suddenly his eyes closed and he started to fall to the side.

Hands and arms darted out, catching him gently before he hit the ground, one voice yelling out for the Healer, another voice ordering another to get some cool water.

It was pure chaos for a few minutes as the Healer came and the turtles and their father had to be calmed down.

Healer Dayis walked from the room, sending a gentle smile to the Terrapin family he had been attending since they arrived. He opened his mouth, speaking slowly and clearly, "Michelangelo had a panic attack which resulted in the hyperventilation. He will be fine with some rest and relaxation. I understand you do not have that luxury this afternoon," and he paused, biting the inside of his cheek as he tried to think of alternatives to helping Michelangelo cope with the afternoons proceedings.

"He is stressed and slightly anemic. I understand he is not eating correctly but he needs to eat. He is losing too much weight and his blood sugar count is low," Healer Dayis said quietly.

"How do we help him eat? He isn't hungry that much anymore, and he has trouble holding it down if he eats anything too rich," Don said worriedly, glancing at his brothers for help.

"Yeah, we jist tried gettin' 'im to eat soups but the richer they are, with all the veggies and meat proteins…he can't keep them down…you got anythin' for that?" Raph asked, absently rubbing his other hand's knuckles, like he wanted to smack something.

"I understand, but this must be done, the lack of nutrients and vitamins, will slow his healing process and in some cases, will limit healing, especially since we are trying to encourage the nerves in his shoulders to heal, so he can regain mobility," he explained, showing a 3-D image of the shoulder and nerves.

Don looked at the image carefully, seeing the slowly healing bones in the shoulder knit together, and frowned, "How come it seems the tendons aren't healing properly, several of them still look torn," he asked confused and perplexed.

Splinter looked at the image as well, wishing he could get his hands on Usagi Miyamato once more, and exact his revenge.

"His tendons aren't healing, and that is part of the problem. He may not gain use of his arm unless we start considering another surgery," Healer Dayis explained.

"But you said he was healthy the other day!" Leo said, his voice betraying his concern and fear.

"No, what I said is he is healing enough, but with the constant stress, the lack of proper food, the lack of exercise, is starting to take a toll on his body. His shoulder is healing, the bones around it are healing, and some of the torn muscle is healing, but the tendons are not healing enough. That is the cause for concern. It is why we are considering surgery when he is stronger and in a better frame of mind," he said quickly, explaining the dilemma to the family.

Don interrupted, "We will deal with that later. How do we help Mikey now? He's obviously stressed about this afternoon….how do we help him through it without upsetting him? He wants help…he did say that," he said, palms open helplessly as he glanced over at his little brother.

"It is possible I can give him a calming medicine while he is being interviewed, so he may be able to make it through questioning, but I must talk to who is interviewing him before he goes to give his statement," Healer Dayis said firmly.

"I will tell them," Splinter said quietly, worry growing within him, worry about his youngest state of mind, his innocent nature that seemed to be torn from him. He walked over to his son, laying peacefully on the bed, touching his head gently, rubbing it.

"We are here my son, you are not alone anymore. We will help you…just come back to us…." Splinter whispered gently.


	12. Interview

Mikey groaned slowly, his head felt fuzzy and thick as he slowly woke up. He frowned, blinking awake, seeing the familiar ceiling of his room above him. He tried recalling what happened, and slowly, the memories came, and he sighed.

_Am I never going to get better?_ He thought mournfully as he pushed himself up. He bit back a sigh when he saw his family coming into the room. He pulled a smile onto his face, "Hey guys, sorry about that," he said in reference to his breaking down.

"Mike, don't, you don't have to act like you're alright," Leo said softly.

Mikey flinched at the words, but dropped his smile, wincing a bit as he tried shrugging, and the familiar throbbing in his shoulder reminding him that he had been damaged.

_Physically and Mentally...I've been damaged inside and out..._

_He was so tired. Tired of everything...tired of feeling weak, or useless...or vulnerable. _

Mikey suddenly heard his name being called and jumped, startled. His eyes snapped open when he saw Splinter in front of him, wincing at the surge of love and gentleness he could sense from him.

"My son, I do not wish to alarm you, but the man is here to get your statement. Would you like us to go with you?" Splinter said gently.

Mikey felt his world seemingly smaller at the words, but he had said he could do it. _He had to...if...if he got away, then...then he might go after his family...kill his family...like he promised to do._

He looked away, still lost in thought as he brought one arm up, rubbing his injured shoulder despite the pain it caused. It seemed to help calm him, and he needed that at the moment.

"Mikey?" Don called, concern, eyes flashing to Raph, '_Go get some help,'_ and stepped forward. He stopped when he saw the violent flinch Mikey did to get away.

_Mikey didn't know why he would flinch so hard. He was trying not to. This was his family. He should be able to stand them touching him._

He glanced at Don, eyes blank as he watched Don whisper to Leo, who nodded, looking at him with pity and concern.

_Something inside him wanted to yell, to scream at him, at all of them, but he had put them through enough. He couldn't keep hurting them. So he pulled together all the emotions he could sense, wrapping them up inside him, taking it all within. _

He heard the surprised exclamations from his brothers and father, and turned away despite his name being called several times.

Raph was back all of a sudden, and Mikey could sense his fear and anger and guilt that surrounded his hot headed brother and quickly started to pull those emotions away, wanting him to feel better.

_His counsellor was there, talking, telling him to stop, but he couldn't. He couldn't stop. He was helping his brothers, his father, and it was his job! His job was to make his family smile, to laugh and grin. Guys, I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I...I'm so useless..let me do this!_

He felt hollow as he bundled the emotions, encasing it within a shield of his own making. He heard a loud clap, making him jump, almost making him lose focus, as he glanced up, seeing his counsellor in front of him, and talking earnestly.

Mikey struggled to focus on his words, and suddenly could hear him crystal clear.

"Michelangelo, you must not do this! These feelings are not yours to take! You are taking what is rightfully theirs to feel! You must give them back...or you are taking their own sense of power...the same that was taken from you!" he heard from far it away it seemed.

_Their power? I'm taking their sense of power...yes...mine was taken...Usagi did take mine away...I'm doing the same...oh no! I'm so sorry, I'm...I'm sorry..._ and he let the emotions go, letting them flow back to the people he took them from.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling guilty and full of self loathing. He sat back, feeling anguish and guilt, building up. He felt tears build up, wanting to cry but he struggled, trying not to cry. He couldn't let his family see how messed up he was.

"My son, I know you are going through a hard time, and wish it was done and over with, but you are strong. I know you can do this," Splinter said softly, touching his son's arm in an attempt to comfort him.

Mikey fought back the cringe at the touch, _God, I can't even stand him touching me! Why? What did Usagi do to make me feel like this? Why can't I stop? I...I'm so dirty... I don't want father to get dirty to...what should I do..._

Splinter saw the hesitation and the fear flashing through his son's eyes at the touch, and sighed heavily. His son was going through so much turmoil, and he needed help.

Suddenly, a small light lit up a small corner, the ball unfolding within, to reveal an image of a man, wearing blue pants and grey top, his face painted. It spoke, "The Representative is here to speak with a Michelangelo Hamato. He is in Sky Shade Room," and faded away.

Mikey bit his lip, wincing as he moved up, still silent, still quiet, as he pushed himself to his feet. He moved towards the door, but paused, glancing back at his family. He was silent for a moment, before he finally spoke softly, "Please...I'll do this...alone."

"Are you sure Mikey? We will come to support you, you don't have to go through this alone," Don said earnestly, before his father spoke instead.

Mikey shook his head, his eyes shimmered sadly, before he whispered, "I went through it alone...I...I'll do it, don't worry...I can do this."

Mikey could practically sense their eyes watching him as he left, his heart feeling hollow and hurt. He knew he would do it; his family was at risk if he didn't.

He walked down the hallway, heading to the Sky Shade Room. He hesitated outside, his heart beating rapidly in fear. Finally, he took a shaky breath, before stepping inside.

His eyes widen when he saw the representative, his golden fur was shiny and dressed in a light blue kimino style suit. He watched for a moment, sensing the rabbit's emotions. Trying to make sense of the emotions, _confidence, sadness, anger, but not at him...he was filled with remorse and guilt. Why?_

"Hi...I...uh...I'm Mikey..." he said nervously, one hand rubbing his injured arm as he waited for a response.

The rabbit gave him a smile, sadness in his eyes as he responded, his voice a strange Japanese accent accompied with it, "I am Admiral Jeyto. Commander Zigu sends his apologies, but he cannot make it today. His daughter is sick."

Mikey nodded, ignoring the offered hand, "That's okay..." he said softly, moving to the table, sitting opposite the Admiral.

"Alright, I want to send our apologies this crime has happened to one so young. We are making sure Usagi Miyamoto is punished under the harshest of our laws," Admiral Jeyto said earnestly.

Mikey nodded, just watching. He could sense the Admiral's distress at what happened to him, and bit his lip nervously.

"Today, I am here to gather your testimony about what has happened to you, and to ask questions. I would also need your written permission to gather evidence from your Healer and your counsellor if that is alright. Later today, I will be speaking with your brothers and your father to gather their testimony," Jeyto said slowly but in a calming voice.

Mikey felt his throat close in fear, before he forced out a small, "Okay...I'll write it out after..." and took a deep breathe, trying to calm down, doing some breathing exercises to calm himself.

"Start where you feel comfortable with, on when you remembered what happened," Jeyto said, placing a paw on a orb, it flashed a little, and was recording the interview.

Mikey was silent for a moment, memories flashing through his brain as he started the trip back, "I...I woke up...and saw my journal was out...and it was open..." and paused, before explaining about his journal, "I write in it every night. Since I was 6. I grab it and put it away always. I never leave it out, or opened. I think I only ever did it once, but I got my brother to put it away for me...it had my thoughts...my secrets...everything...I would never Just leave it out."

Jeyto nodded, "I understand, it was not the norm that your journal was out. Was that the first thing you noticed that was wrong?"

Mikey nodded, "Yeah...well, that wasn't all. I had been feel sore, like achy, but Donnie couldn't find anything wrong. He said I might be getting sick, but I ignored it till it got worse..." he said, biting his lip.

"Okay, so you saw your journal opened, what happened next?" Jeyto asked gently.

"Well...I looked inside, and started reading what I wrote...I mean who else could it be? My brothers know better...so...I read it.." Mikey paused, his voice shaky and uneven, "...it was disturbing. It was my writing...but I only ever wrote like that when I was in pain and hurting. I...it describe how I hated everything. Everyone. How no one heard me..."

Mikey paused again, trying to quell the feeling of panic, his breathing uneven as he struggled to hold in his fear.

It took a few hours for Mikey to tell what happened, to tell what memories that had returned, how he reacted to a mere touch, and how his injuries were violent, causing him permanent pain.

"Mikey, I know you are going through an immense amount of pain right now, but I want to assure you, that you will not have to testify in court. I recorded this session, so you will not have to face your abuser," Jeyto said softly, tears in his eyes.

"I...Really?" Mikey said, light returning to his eyes, "I...I won't have to see him again?"

"No Mikey, you will not. I promise. Usagi will be punished...would you like to know what his punishment would be?" Jeyto asked.

Mikey hesitated a moment, but curiosity grew, and he nodded his head.

"Usagi will be given a sentence of death if punished harshly. If not given death, he will be castrated and jailed in our cells for the next 25 years, while his wealth is transferred to you. You and your family are also given the chance to punish him as well," Jeyto said, his voice wavering, "it is your right."

Mikey paled at the thought of Usagi being punished in such a way. Even if he thought of doing the same, he would never have actually done it. He frowned, distressed at the information, and knew his family would love to get their revenge like that.

"I...I don't...I...that's..." Mikey said, his head pounded from the long day, the trauma of telling his story, and the news of what Usagi would be given. "I...I do not want to know what happens to him...unless he is given death...I...I want to go now...can I go?" he asked, exhausted.

Jeyto nodded, his paw reaching over to the orb, turning it off. He slid over a piece of paper, "Can you write a note for me?"

Mikey hesitated a bit, hating to be asked to do something, but he reached out, frowning as he struggled to write, his hand was still sore and swollen from breaking it. Their Healers fixed the break but it still hurt. He quickly penned a scrawled note, giving Jeyto permission to get his records.

"You may go now Mikey, thank you for answering my questions," Jeyto said, standing up smiling at him.

Mikey nodded, looking away, "Yeah, um, thanks, bye."

Jeyto watched as the young turtle fled from the room. The poor turtle was exhausted, his shoulders slump, and he looked destroyed. _Usagi, I swear, you will pay for the harm you done him!_

Over the next 4 hours, he gathered evidence from the Healers, as well as the counsellors report on how Michelangelo was healing. He also gathered testimony from the Hamato family, as well as the crocodile called Leatherhead.

He returned to his home, intent on punishing Usagi.

* * *

Splinter sat in his chair, watching his youngest in a disturbed sleep. _Oh Michelangelo, I am here now. Talk with us. Heal. We are here to help you!_

He moved slowly, not wanting to alarm his son, and sat back in the chair. He thought about earlier, when he saw his son return from his interview. He looked exhausted and on the verge of tears. He would not even speak.

Splinter was concerned, his youngest was quite fragile, and the interview and his breakdown earlier, made him fear for his son.

He sat down to meditate, wanting to gather some strength to help Michelangelo heal, but he frown, his heart started beating faster, his world seem to whirl around quickly as his body felt pain deep inside.

Splinter snapped his eyes open, one paw to his chest as his heart seem to beat faster, almost like punches to his chest.

He gasped, "M...my son," he choked out, trying to get his son's help as his world tilted and he started to fall, pain engulfing his chest as his world seem to dim.

The last words he heard came from his youngest, filled with utmost terror and panic, "Dad, dad, what's wrong! DAD!...daddy..." and his world grew dark.


	13. Collasped

**A/N: Hope everyone likes it! Would love to get reviews! Have a good day everyone!**

PS- Don't own TMNT, (I wish), but own Healer Dayis, and Healer Ariiliya.

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Mikey's POV

Mikey sat on the floor, his body still shaking, trying to contain the screams, the terror, the fear, that was growing inside his mind.

He shivered as he recalled earlier, a blur of memory, sounds, emotions, all stilling on the image of his father, laying on the ground...dying...

He closed his eyes, rocking a little faster, trying to get that image to leave, furious and angry. His father was dying!

_How could this be happening? Why him! Why now! I need him, please, I need him...don't take him away...please...dad...dad please...please...please... come back..._

He stared at the door Splinter was taken through, eyes blank as he rocked. He was cold, pale, and shaking, but all he could think was his dad was dying.

_Come back to me...please...y..you promised...you promised you would stay with me... you promised you would always be there... please come back to us...please dad...just come back..._

* * *

Leo's POV

Leo was up and running as he heard the Daimyo tell him that he must get to the medical pavilion. He ran as fast as he could, his heart racing, thinking something worse happened to Mikey, and he wasn't around to protect him.

He pushed himself, cursing that he had went out that day for a run around the field, that he had chosen that day to do so.

He ran, his heart pounding fast, his breathing rapid, he could feel the blood pounding in his ears as he ran up the hill, seeing the house in the distance.

_I'm coming Mikey, I'm coming, please be okay, please be okay...I'm coming... just hang on _

He raced faster, slipping on a mat, but waved his arms, regaining his balance as he bounced off the nearby wall. He muttered to himself, feelings of guilt and anguish building.

_It's happening again, something happened and I wasn't there to protect him. I'm never there to protect him... I vowed nothing would hurt him again... that no one will ever hurt him..._

_Some big brother I am, I'm useless around him, all I do is make things worst..._

_Mikey, I'm coming..._

_I'm coming to help..._

He saw the door of the Healers Pavillion, slamming it open, eyes widening in shock as he saw mass confusion inside, people yelling and screaming, fighting to push ahead, guards nearby, and his heart skipped a few beats.

_Where's Mikey? Where is the Daimyo?_

His eyes darted everywhere, trying to push through the crowd, knowing his answers laid on the other side of them, he saw his brothers, Raph and Don pushing their way through as well, looking as ragged as him, panting like they ran like the wind.

Leo concentrated on pushing people aside, the voices and babble of aliens babbling all around him, in different languages, people raising their voices, trying to be heard over the din, was making him angry.

"Get out of my way, please, move, I need to get by!" Leo said, his voice hissed and low, angry they weren't moving.

They could hear a low keening noise ahead of them, he stopped, stiffening, recognizing that noise.

It was Mikey.

It was Mikey's keening sound he made when he was overwhelmed and trying to control his hysteria before he reacted.

Leo glanced over, seeing that Raph and Don stiffen when they heard it as well.

They struggled harder to get through, this time, they didn't bother pushing them aside, they picked them up, tossing them away, furious and frantic to get to their little brother.

Finally, as the keening sound got louder, sounding like a wail of total anguish and fear, the emotions hitting them hard, Leo broke through the wall of people.

He saw his younger brother, Healer Dayis in front of him, and Mikey...he was in total distress, rocking back and forth, in shock.

* * *

Raph's POV

Raph grunted as he finished the set, his muscles screaming at the disuse. He had not exercised much since they first came, choosing to stay with Mikey, to protect him.

_Now, Mikey had gone to see tha' statement runt, guess I should get back in shape..._

'_Sides...would be nice...I feel useless anyway..._

_Mike's doin' everythin' on 'is own. It should't even be like that! Why don't Mikey eva' talk wit' us? We're tryin' dammit... we're trying ta help... but it's like he don't won't tha' help, but he does..._

_Wha' the Shell do we do...when the person you want ta help... won't accept it?_

Raph pondered that while he sparred with another volunteer...a long lanky alien with 4 eyes, and mustard coloured skin. Raph grinned as he spun his Sai's, imagining it was that bastard 'Usagi', and fought hard and fast.

He started out with a few punches, testing the alien who dodged easily. He smiled, recalling Mikey evading like this, and jumped forward, ducking slightly just enough to pull a kick, aiming for the alien's legs, when he stumbled back with a yelp when he saw an image of the Daimyo.

"Raphael, you are needed urgently at the Healers Pavillion. I would suggest you continue this another day. It is urgent. Go now," the Daimyo said, his white eyes appearing to glow, and Raph got a sense of sadness from it, elicting fear from within to grow.

"Daimyo? Wha' goin' on?" he started to ask, confused, but the Daimyo just blinked out.

Raph felt the fear build, his heartbeat picking up, as he turned and ran from the dojo, and up the stairs. He pushed past the people, yanking them out of his way as he raced.

_Why the Shell wouldn't the Daimyo answer him! Did Bunny Boy escaped? Did he get Mikey? If he managed to, I'll kill the bastard, I don't care if it'll start a god damn war, no one hurts my bro and gets away wit it!_

He ran up another flight of stairs, ignoring the screaming of his body to slow down, his face furious and alight with anger and rage. He saw numerous aliens and people, darting out of his way as he ran, eager to get to the Healer's Pavillion as fast as possible.

He grunted as he slammed into someone, an older alien with orange skin and purple dots, and he muttered, "Sorry," before moving on.

But the alien yanked his arm back, his face angry, and Raph knew he wanted to pick a fight, but he wasn't going to allow it.

He grabbed the arm which was still holding his, twisting it by the forearm, and making the alien cry out in pain, "No dice bub, I got me a family emergency and I ain't fightin'. Ya want ta fight, make an appointment," and pushed the alien away.

Raph turned back to run again, when he saw the way was opening up for him, and grinned, _Guess bein' a hothead makes people move fast ta avoid me..._

He saw the Left Wing door ahead, pushing it open, and saw a large volume of aliens and people in the room, and blocking the way.

He growled, yanking people aside, "Get tha Fuck outta my way, now!" he roared loudly, but it wasn't loud enough over the din of voices screaming around him.

Raph growled, yanking people aside, seeing Leo and Don nearby, doing the same, struggling to get through the crowd. He stiffened as he suddenly could hear Mikey's keening noise through the crowd, and his heart stopped in fear.

_Wha' the fuck is happening to Mike ta make tha' sound... I swear ta God, if these friggin' people don't move outta the fuckin' way, I'm gonna start usin' my Sais on them!_

It took a few minutes, before he finally reached the end, and with one more yank, he had made it in front, seeing his other brothers nearby.

Raph turned his head, seeing Mikey in the corner, rocking back and forth, his arms wrapped around his body, his eyes open but blank, the sound leaving his mouth as he ignored the people in front of him, his counsellor who was speaking but Mikey showed no sign of acknowledgement.

His eyes darted over to Mikey, his legs moving closer as he saw Healer Dayis rising from beside Mikey, stopping them from approaching.

* * *

Don's POV

Don smiled as he gathered the various items, glad he had went on the shopping trip. He had been meaning to for awhile, and frankly, he needed a distraction. While Mikey was having that interview, he left for awhile, stealing his way into the Daimyo's many libraries, especially the one based in English and Japanese language.

He had grabbed a few books to sign out, and went to the market, planning to get some items for dinner and find some nice things for both Mikey and Splinter.

He was silent as he shopped, his eyes always darting over the items, taking in the knowledge and questions, recording them for later as he thought about his only little brother, and his elder father.

_Mikey's been so withdrawn lately, but it is understandable with what he had went through. Despite the confusion and the struggles, he is managing, but it is taking a toll on him..._

_Mikey needs to relax somehow before he has some sort of nervous break down... he rarely eats, which reminds me, I should pick up some more fruit and that Orange Coconut thing he seems to like...it has good milk..._

_Also I need to get Splinter to get looked at soon, he's been a little tired lately, and I'm not sure if he's handling everything well. _

_That looks nice, Mikey might like this new blanket...it's orange and kind of wavy..._

Don looked up at the vendor, glad he had taken his multi translator, and asked, "How much for this?"

"Ten Duaboe," the vendor replied, eyes shining in delight.

Don shook his head, smirking, "No, I know the material does not cost that much. For production and cost to make an item like this, of this quality, would be about 4 Duaboe. Now unless you are paying for all the material and labor, this would be even less. I will give you 3 and half Duaboe for it, and no more."

The vendor shook his head, "No, I want 8."

Don shook his head, "Very well, if you do not wish to sell, that is fine with me," and he put the blanket down, returning the card he was given to his belt, he turned to leave.

"No, wait, I...how about 5?" the vendor haggled once more, his eyes growing a little upset at the possible loss of a sale.

"I will give you 4 and no higher," Don countered easily. He had two older brothers, and one younger brother. He knew how to haggle and get his money worth.

"Agreed," the vendor replied, slapping the blanket into Don's hands, taking the card with the other, sliding his own card on top. The cards glowed for a moment, Don watching as the alien vendor spoke, "4 Duaboe," and the cards glowed gold, then faded.

The vendor handed the card back, his eyes shining with respect. Don bowed his head at the guy, placing the blanket inside his duffel bag, and putting the card back into his belt. He turned and left.

About 5 steps away, he stopped in shocked as a blue glowing ball emerged in front of him but before he can contemplate how it was made or anything, the Daimyo's image appeared within.

"Donatello, I need you to return to the Healer's Pavilion as soon as possible. It is urgent," and blanked out a moment later.

Don's eyes widen as his heart beat faster in fear. _Was Mikey attacked again? What if Usagi got away? What if Mikey collapsed? What if he ran away?_

These questions and more raced through his head as he darted through the crowds, sidestepping people in his haste, mumble 'sorry' if he knocked anyone down.

He hurried, glad he wasn't that far away, and slammed through the Right Wing of the Healers Pavilion. He saw a large gathering of people, _What's going on? Do they know what happened? Something bad must have happened for all these alians and whatnot being here? _

_I wonder what these news?...reporters are doing? I didn't even know...I wonder why they are here, it must be big to gather that many people here..._

Don stiffened when he heard Mikey's keening sound, and his heart raced faster as he pushed through the crowds more urgently.

_That was Mikey_

His eyes strained over the top of people, cursing his shorter figure, as he tried to find his younger brother.

_What happened to Mikey! God, someone tell me what happened to my little brother! Get out of my way, that's my little brother! That's my little bro, get out of my way,_ he thought as he pushed people aside, trying to get through, angry that their were none that would move aside.

His translator was picking up their words, rapidly, words like, 'Guest, sick, dying, host, Daimyo, champion,' and his heart quivered once more with fear, his stomach twisting at the words he was picking up as he urgently moved faster.

"Please move, please, thank you, please, I need to get by, thanks, thanks, yes, thank...please, I need to get by, it's an emergency!" Don muttered to random people through the crowd, fighting his way through.

He grunted as he finally broke through, seeing Leo and Raph break through at the same time. His legs burned as he and his brothers ran towards where they heard Mikey.

Don's eyes widen in shock, immediately taking in what he was seeing.

Mikey was in the corner, in shock, his skin pale, and he was shaking. His eyes were blank, and Don saw he wasn't even listening to Healer Dayis who was in front of him, speaking.

"What happened to Mikey?" he whispered quietly, approaching, wanting to examine his brother, wondering why no one else had even looked him over.

He frowned, a thought coming to him as he realized someone was missing, _Where is Splinter? Why isn't he here?... M...maybe...it was Splinter who was sick..._ Eyes widening in sudden fear and shock, his eyes darted over, hearing Leo asking Healer Dayis a question.

* * *

Everyone's POV

"Sir...w...what happened to Mikey?" Leo asked slowly, walking up to him, his eyes concerned as he saw Mikey up close.

"Do you three know why you were called?" Healer Dayis said gently, his eyes seemed sad, pain showed inside.

"No...the...the Daimyo sent a call for me, I guess, for all of us, saying there was an emergency...and that we had to get here...what happened to Mikey?" Leo said fearfully, his eyes glancing at his little brother fearfully, seeing something was seriously wrong with his brother.

"It is not..I mean..." Healer Dayis said, faltering a moment.

"What the Shell happened!" Raph asked again.

Don stepped forward, grabbing the attention of Raph and Leo, who looked puzzled, "What happened Healer Dayis... what happened to Splinter?"

Raph and Don stiffened at the words, glancing around when they realized Splinter wasn't nearby, and Don had figured out that Splinter was missing!

Then suddenly, the door opened, and the Daimyo stepped out, followed by Healer Ariiliya who looked alarmed at seeing Michelangelo in such a state. She hurried over to him, examining him, worry clear in her eyes.

Raph frowned, moving towards Mikey, crouching beside him.

"What happened Daimyo? Is is Splinter who is ill?" Leo said, worry and a bubble of panic was starting to build up inside, eyes filling with fear.

The Daimyo was silent for a moment, his eyes still glowing faintly, before he clasped his hands together, and the sounds from the people in the foyer vanished, leaving them alone.

"What caused Master Splinter to collapse Healer Ariiliya?" Don said, his heart crashing down into his stomach, watching as Healer Ariiliya stopped her examination, looking up at the other turtles.

"I believe it was caused by a blockage in his heart. It caused the heart to stop and block the blood from passing through, and his body grew weak," Ariiliya explained, her eyes shimmering with grief and pain.

"What?" Don, Leo and Raph whispered, feeling like they got punched in the stomach.

"I...i...is he dead?" Don choked out; feeling like something was lodged in his throat when he said those words.

The Daimyo shook his head, explaining, "Your father is quite ill. About 20 minutes ago, he collapsed in Michelangelo's room. My staff responded to his screams a few moments afterwards, and found Splinter near death, and Michelangelo was hysterical and in shock, and that is when I contacted you to all return as soon as possible," the Daimyo explained gently.

"I..is he going to die?" Don asked again, wanting a clear answer.

"W...what about Mikey?" Raph said, interrupting, hating to hear that noise coming from Michelangelo. He moved past Ariiliya to his younger brother, a hand on his shoulder, trying to get his attention. The keening sound suddenly faded away at Raphael's touch, which surprised everyone.

Ariiliya smiled, "I see your bond with Michelangelo is still as strong as ever," She glanced at Michelangelo, "he will need some help...to pull him out of his shock."

Glancing at Leonardo and Donatello, "And you need to help him soon, your father...he does not have much time left...if you want Michelangelo to be able to say goodbye, you must hurry...he is weak."

Healer Ariiliya stood up from examining Michelangelo, her blue gown seemingly growing darker as she spoke, her eyes shimmered with tears, "...I am sorry but I do not think he will survive past the night."


	14. Shock

**WOW, thanks to Amonraphoenix for helping me with this chapter! It's awesome! Hope everyone enjoys!**

* * *

Chapter 14

They nodded, lost in the words that Splinter is about to die. Raph spoke, his voice gruff, tears slipping down his cheeks as he hastily wiped them away, "T...there ain't nuthin...ya...ya can do ta save him?"

"I am sorry Raphael," she said gently, wanting to wipe those tears away, "but your father is quite ill. He has been for some time. I do not think he will survive past the night. I suggest you bring your family here, and other friends, to come and say their goodbyes."

Raph sighed shakily, numbly nodding his head. He hunkered down beside Mikey, "Hey Mikey, com'n, let's get up, com'n," he whispered gently, "I'm gunna help ya up, 'kay?"

Raph sighed as he saw Mikey tense as he touched his arm, pulling him up to his feet, "It's gunna be rough for a bit Mikey, but you're strong, you can get through this...jist baby steps, com'n," and cajoled Mikey into the nearby room, helping him as he walked.

He glanced back at Leo and Don, who looked shell shocked as well. He called to Leo, "Get our family here Leo, organize it with the Daimyo. Donnie, go sit with Splinter...I'll help Mikey and join you later..." before he looked back at Mikey.

Raph didn't like how pale Mikey looked, or how vacant his eyes seem to be. _Geez...it's never easy...com'n bro, I know you can shake this..._

Raph helped Mikey sit down on the guest bed in the hospital room, and sat down beside him.

He was shocked the next second when Mikey suddenly wrapped his good arm around Raph's neck and pulled him into a fierce hug before he started to cry.

_Oh Mike..._ Raph thought, his heart breaking into a million pieces as he wrapped his arms around his little brother; his own tears building. He could feel Mikey's energy fluctuating in the room, and countered it with his own, and knew it helped Mikey.

_Shhh little brother..._ he thought, just letting him cry into his shoulder, rubbing his shell like Splinter used to.

His eyes pricked at the memory of Splinter comforting Mikey when he was younger and his heart ached painfully. _Why does this gotta happen now? Fuck...this isn't fair...Mikey needs him! He promised him!_

"Mikey, I know ya prob'ly feel all alone. You ain't. We're here...we're all here for ya... ya jist gotta remember tha'," he said softly, letting Mikey cuddle with him. He reached up, touching Mikey's forehead gently, ignoring the flinch Mikey did at the contact.

"Ya know, yur stronger than this. Ya got t'is heart tha' so friggin big, you got no idea how big it really is. And r'ght now, it prolly feels like it's shattered or sumthin'," Raph said slowly, not even sure on how to pull Mikey out of his shock, but he had to try.

Raph sighed, trying to think of anything that could help...

His eyes lit up and he started speaking softly, _"Ya remember when we wuz little? I think we're about 5 or 6? We snuck out into the tunnels pretendin' to be some comic book guy and you'se kept callin' yourself Super Mikey...than we got lost?"_

* * *

"_Com'n Mikey, t'is is stupid, I ain't no sidekick! You're mine!" Raph shouted angrily, glaring at his baby brother._

"_Raphie please, I won't tell no one. I never get to be the superhero...I'm always the sidekick, please!" Mikey begged his older brother._

_Raph sighed, glaring, his arm crossing his plastron as he tried to appear intimidating, but _

_Mikey never once lost his begging look. "Mike...I...jist don't wanna be a sidekick, ya know I ain't no one's sidekick..."_

"_Yes you are...we all are...Master Splinter says we're always be sidekicks...cause we help each other...not one of us is better than the other...we're all the same," Mikey said grinning at Raph as he repeated the lesson._

"_Well, I ain't no sidekick in tha' games!" he stated. Raph glanced around, realizing they had been walking for awhile and he didn't recognize the sewer tunnels._

"_Uh Mike, ya know where we are?" he asked curiously, glancing around, feeling a light of panic flare up. He never understood why, but as soon as Mikey's cool hand touched his, he calmed._

"_You don't know where we are Raphie? Are we lost?" Mikey asked, his voice hitching slightly in fear._

_Raph froze at the sound of fear in Mikey's voice, and frowned, "No, we ain't lost...we jist gotta remember wha' Master Splinter taught us..."_

* * *

Raph sighed, remembering, "We were both scared and worried. We knew Masta' Splinta' would be upset we wuz lost. You were scared. We kept movin'. You started to whine...

"_Raphie, I'm cold...and bored...are we home yet?" Mikey's little voice wavered as he clutched Raph's hand tightly._

_Raph sighed, his hand reaching out and smacking the back of his head, "How many times I gots ta tell you, we ain't home yet! Now lemme think..." Raph said, looking around, his stomach really tight with dread.._

_It was getting colder, and Mikey was pale. 'I knew we shoulda played nearby, I'm gunna be in so much trouble...wha' tha' sound?' he thought as he continued to drag his brother with him._

_It was a strange clicking sound, and he realized it was Mikey's teeth chattering from the cold. _

_Mikey was really cold. "Wrap your cape around you Mikey, you'll be a little warmer," Raph ordered, untying the large knot under Mikey's chin. He smiled at Mikey, wrapping the blanket around him._

"_I...I cold...home yet?" Mikey whimpered as he clutched the blanket around him, relishing in the warmth. He tied it back around him, this time it was wrapped around him._

"_Nah Mike, we ain't home yet...we'll be there soon, you'se just keep up, okay?" Raph said sternly, eyes flashing in worry. Mikey's teeth were still chattering, and Raph sighed. He untied his own smaller cape and draped it across his brother's shoulder gently. _

"_What about you?" Mikey asked, his eyes wide. _

_Raph shrugged, "I was getting hot so you can have it," he replied gruffly. _

"'_Kay, thanks Raphie," Mikey whispered, still clutching Raph's hand tightly._

_Raph continued to roam the sewer tunnels, moving. He shivered, the cold air seem to blow right through him. It was cold, and the tunnel floor felt icky and slimy. He didn't like it._

'_He had to be close to home. 'Master Splinter is gunna be so mad at me! I shouldn't have taken Mikey out!' he thought angrily._

"_Raphie..." he heard Mikey's voice, and he frowned, "Whattya want Mikey?"_

"_Wha' voices are those?" Mikey whispered, his voice anxious and panicked, eyes darting to the far ladder down the right tunnel._

_Raph frowned, freezing. His heart started beating faster as he realized it was humans. His body tensed and he clutched Mikey's hand tighter. "Run!" he barked quietly, and yanked Mikey along with him, cursing the cold. It was making them clumsy and fumbling._

_Mikey cried out as he tripped and was roughly yanked back to his feet, biting his lip to keep from being too loud. He struggled after Raph determinedly._

_Raph pulled his brother down another sewer tunnel, his heart racing with fear and panic, 'I need Masta' Splinta', I need ta get Mikey home!'_

_Suddenly, when they ran around this sharp corner, the sewer slime they were running on became particularly icy, causing them to slip, falling to the ground, sliding._

_Mikey's hand slipped from his firm grasp, making him cry out his name. _

_He hit the wall, trying to stop him from sliding...his eyes darting quickly to Mikey's body sliding nearby. His eyes widen in horror as he watched were Mikey was heading. _

_He heard a loud splash, "__**MIKEY!**__" he yelled frantically, his heart racing as he got to his knees, seeing his little brother splashing in the water, struggling._

_He ran to the waters edge, reaching over, trying to grab Mikey's flailing arms. 'NO! No...I can't loose him! I won't lose him!'_

_Something deep inside him was vibrating, echoing, the anger and helplessness built up, growing. He heard Mikey's voice screaming, "Raphie, help me, I'm stuck!"_

"_Don'tcha worry Mikey, I gots you!" Raph said, grabbing an ice cold hand, knowing it was Mikey's, he tightened his grip and yanked hard, the sewer water splashing him as he pulled Mikey out. He could hear the blanket tearing, and choking Mikey, as it caught around his neck._

_His eyes widened in fear, and one small shaky hand untied the blanket, and Mikey was free!_

_He pulled Mikey to the edge, and out of the water. Mikey was pale, shaking, a small shallow cut on one leg bled slowly._

_But the worst part was Mikey was so still, his eyes closed peacefully. If Raph didn't know better he'd think his baby brother was sleeping. _

_"No! Mikey you ain't dying on me. You hear me you ain't dying!" Raph yelled shaking his brother roughly. _

_Mikey's head rolled limply. Raph felt his heart clench in fear at the sight, not knowing what to do as he roughly hit Mikey in the chest. _

_Mikey jerked and started to cough up water. _

_Raph breathed a sigh of relief. "Mikey open your eyes, bro," Raph asked gently panting his brother's cheeks in encouragement. _

_Mikey, still shivering and coughing, slowly opened his eyes while Raph continued to rub his shell and arms gently, trying to get him to warm up._

_He was now terrified and scared. He didn't know what to do. "Shell Mikey, we need to get you home...can you walk?" Raph asked, his own voice wavering, tears prickled his eyes._

"_I...I...I..." Mikey stuttered, glancing up weakly, blinking out the water in his eyes, and coughing out the sewer water he accidentally swallowed._

"_Com'n Mike, on my shell, I'll carry you," Raph ordered, knowing he needed to get Mikey home now._

"_Raphie...sleepy..." Mikey whispered tiredly, but he moved anyways and slowly climbed on to Raph's shell, his eyes closing tiredly._

"_Get some rest Mikey...your gunna be a'right, just sleep," Raph said, holding Mikey's arm tightly, carrying his brother. He knew he was the strongest out of his brothers, and Mikey was still a lightweight._

_He started walking, scared...'What if Mikey gets sick? What if he died?' Raph saw a light wavering in the distance, and he darted into the shadows, whispering to Mikey, "Don'tcha make a sound right now. You'se gotsa be really quiet..."_

_There was no answer from Mikey, other then soft puff of air against his shoulder. Raph's felt his fear and concern started grow. _

_He watched the light in the distance, and a familiar voice filtered down the sewer water. "Raphael, Michelangelo, my sons, answer me," he heard._

"_Masta'!" Raph cried out, relieved, stepping out of the shadows, running towards Splinter, _

"_I'm so glad you found us! We gots lost and it wuz cold. We heard humans and we ran, and hid, but then we fell," Raph said, in one breathe as he let Master Splinter take Mikey from his back, examining him as they walked together._

"_Calm my son, it is alright now. Michelangelo is very cold, but we shall warm him up. How did he get so wet?" Splinter asked gently as he guided them home._

_Raph's mouth started chattering, "I...um...when we wuz runnin', we fell...he fell inta the sewer water...he gots stuck but I gots him out..." he shivered, not sure why he was getting so cold now, "I hadda carry 'im sensei...he was coughing and he's so cold..."_

_He felt Master Splinter's paw touch his shoulder, drawing comfort from the warmth emitting from it,"He's gonna be alright, right?"_

"_I believe he may be ill for some time, but he shall recover. Come my son, we are almost home," Splinter said gently, leading them home._

* * *

Raph sighed, his eyes prickling at the memory, "That was scary...especially when you fell into the water. You're cape got tangled around sumthin, and you were trapped. I got ya out but man, I was so scared..."

"You were?"

Raph nearly jumped out of his shell when he heard Mikey's raspy voice, "Woah Mike, I...I didn't know you were...ya...know...awake..."

"You were scared?" Mikey asked, his eyes watery and still a little out of it.

"Mikey...when you were trapped in that water...when you were kicking your little legs as hard as you can, and not able ta get free...I was friggin terrified... their ain't anything scarier at tha' moment, than almost losin' my little brother..." Raph said kindly, giving Mikey another tight hug.

"Raphie...I'm scared too..." Mikey whispered.

"I know Mikey, I know," Raph whispered. He was silent for awhile, trying to figure out what to say next.

He frowned, feeling Mikey's shivering body, and grabbed the nearby blanket, covering Mikey up. "Hey Mike, I know it's scary right now, but we need to be strong."

Raph frowned when he felt Mikey's tears drip down on his plastron, and shook his shoulder lightly, trying to get him to respond, "Mikey, com'n bro, we gotta see Sensei... he's really sick."

He felt Mikey's body suddenly stiffen _Crap, what's wrong now..._

* * *

Mikey's POV

_Why did he have to get sick? Was it my fault? It has to be...the stress...God...I can't do this...I need him...Master Splinter...I'm so sorry!_ His mind was racing, but his thought process was slow. It was hard to concentrate, to try and figure out what to do.

He wrapped himself up, trying to stop the screaming he wanted to do, that he felt growing within him.

Mikey frowned, vaguely hearing Raph's voice breaking through his thoughts, his voice clearer than anything else. He never understood why, but Raph was always his tether, his balance.

"_**Mikey, I know ya prob'ly feel all alone. You ain't. We're here...we're all here for ya... ya jist gotta remember tha'"**_

Mikey frowned at the words, '_I feel alone Raphie...I feel lost... I can feel your pain... your grief... your fear...and it hurts... and Master Splinter...Raphie...he's in so much pain... I can feel his pain..._'

"_**Ya know, yur stronger than this. Ya got t'is heart tha' so friggin big, you got no idea how big. And r'ght now, it prolly feels like it's shattered or sumthin'**__"_

Mikey stiffened at first, feeling Raph hand touching his forehead, calming him. He felt the tears building, but he refused to let them fall. He wanted it to stop, this pain, the guilt.

He heard Raph's voice through the pain, confused and hurt, but he started telling a story.

Mikey listened intently, basking in the words, relaxing a little as Raph told the tale of when they were younger. _I remember you were trying to keep me safe...even then...you're still trying to keep me safe Raphie...but... but you can't keep me safe..._

He frowned, hearing Raphie was scared a long time ago. He didn't like that. _Raphie can't be scared...it's...not right...Raphie isn't scared of anything! _Mikey whispered, "You were?"

"_**Mikey...when you were trapped in that water...when you were kicking your little legs as hard as you can, and not able ta get free...I was friggin terrified... there ain't anything scarier at tha' moment, than almost losin' my little brother..."**_

"Raphie, I'm scared too..." he confessed, his heart aching, pounding hard and fast in his chest as he tried to suppress his pain and emotions.

_Scared? No...I'm petrified...Raphie...I know you can't save sensei...you can't save me...I'm useless...I'm stuck...I'm trapped...I...I can't break free...Raphie...I'm scared..._

"_**I know you're scared Mikey, but we got to be strong."**_

He felt tears slipping down his cheeks, wanting to verbalize what was in his head, what kept terrifying him. He stiffened as he felt the blanket cover him, breathing a little harder.

_Crap, not now, not now!_ Mikey thought frantically, trying to stop the flashback, images flashing in front of his eyes, bringing it forward...and he cried out, a keening whine left his mouth as his hands were pulled up to his head, covering it...

_**Hands...hand touching his throat...hands over him...hot breathe on him...**_

"NO!" Mikey cried out, breathing frantically, shaking his head. "NO! NO nononono, not now!"

"Mikey, wha' wrong!" Raph cried out, wanting to touch Mikey's shoulder but knew it would freak him out more.

"Make it stop Raphie...just make it stop!" Mikey said, his voice wavering as he struggled to focus, "Talk to me, help me!"

"Um...um...remember when Donnie made ya that skateboard? We decided to try doing flips on it?" Raph said frantically, his voice high and shaky.

"Yeah?" Mikey said weakly, glancing up at him, eyes blazing with fear and terror.

"Um...and how mad Donnie got when ya broke yur wrist, and I broke my ankle?" Raph said, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Yeah...h...he wouldn't talk to us for awhile...said we were being stupid..." Mikey said, relaxing and breathing in shakily.

"Yeah, and Master Splinter said that we had to have extra training because we disobeyed him..." Raph said smiling.

"Master...sen...Raph...dad's not going to make it...is he?" Mikey asked, his eyes wide, not really want to hear the words but needing to.

"I don't think so Mike...it ain't lookin' so good..." Raph said softly.

Mikey let out a little choked gasp, looking away, trying not to cry, "It's my fault..."

"How the Shell can you think t'is is yur fault?" Raph asked, shocked and angry.

"It's my fault! Don't you see, if I hadn't said anything, than Master Splinter wouldn't have gone through so much stress...stress that I caused! Usagi said he'd take my family away, and he's doing it...I shouldn't have said anything..." Mikey said, looking away as he felt his body shaking, the tears falling down his cheeks.

"Look Mike, Masta' Splinta' is old. It ain't yur fault! He's been sick for awhile. It just happened..." Raph tried explaining.

Mikey let out a choked laugh, shaking his head, "Your lying Raphie...it's my fault. I know...Master Splinter...he's dying because he's under so much stress... it's my fault. I caused this... If I didn't say anything, then Master Splinter wouldn't be so stressed..."

Raph shook his head, "No Mikey, if you hadn't said nuthin', you would still be hurt! Usagi would be gettin' away with hurtin' you...Mikey... he took away somethin' so pure. It ain't right," Mikey felt Raph's hand guiding his face up, making him look at him. Mikey stared into Raph's chocolate eyes, tears building, "You did good by tellin' Mike. And Masta Splinter...him being sick, ain't yur fault. I swear ta you."

"But..." Mikey tried protesting. _How can you say that? It is my fault. Usagi said that he would always hurt my family...that he would make them die...that he would kill them. This has to be my fault...I...I could live with what Usagi was doing...if it would save Master Splinter's life...I would let him..._

Mikey started shivering, shaking his head, 'no' as he cried. He could see it, and feel it, and he backed up when he felt Raph hunker down nearby. "I...I'm tired Raphie...I...I can't do anything right...I shouldn't have said anything..."

Raph growled, "Don'tcha get tha' in yur head Mike. I'm proud ya said somethin' and that BunnyBoy ain't hurtin' ya no more. Right now, we gots ta be strong for Master Splinter, okay? Can you do that?"

Mikey glanced up with watery eyes, "I...I don't know...I can try..."

"Then let's go," Raph said calmly, holding his hand out for Mikey to take. Mikey nodded, grasping Raph's hand, allowing him to help him up.


	15. Last GoodByes

**A/N: Thanks so much to Amonrapheonix for helping. Next Chapter will be posted over the weekend!**

* * *

Leo headed for the audience chambers were the Damiyo was. Approaching the chambers Leo was stopped by to guards standing guard at the doors.

"I request an audience with the Damiyo," Leo said addressing one of the guards.

"Wait here," replied the guard on the right. He opened the door and disappeared inside. After a few moments he returned, "You may proceed," the guard said gruffly stepping aside so Leo could enter.

Leo walked towards the throne where the Damiyo was seated. When Leo was only a few feet from the throne Leo knelt to the floor and bowed deeply his fore head almost touching the wooded floor.

"Honorable Damiyo I have come to ask for your help," Leo spoke solemnly, raising his head slightly but kept his eyes down.

"You are a guest here Leonardo-san, rise." Damiyo gestured for Leo to stand. Leo rose smoothly to his feet. "I am sorry to hear about your father. If there is anything I could do, just ask."

"The healers said Master Splinter may not survive the night. That is why I am here to ask you, Damiyo, to please use your war staff to retrieve some of our friends...bring them here so they could get a chance to say good bye. If you do, I and my family is forever in your debt." Leo asked humbly, bowing slightly as he made his request.

"You forget Leonardo-san, it is I who is in your debt. It is thanks to your family that I have my son. I will be honored to bring your friends here." Damiyo said kindly.

Leo smiled gratefully to the Damiyo. Leo quickly told them who their friends where, the Damiyo raised his staff and there was blinding light. Leo blinked and grinned when he saw his confused friends standing before him.

"Hey guys," Leo said softly, walking over.

"LEO! How are you? How is Mikey?" April asked, giving Leo a big hug.

Leo bit his lip, as his eyes filled with tears, "There...is something I need to tell you all...Mikey's fine right now...but Master Splinter is not..." he started, waving for them to sit down.

Leatherhead spoke up, "What is wrong with Master Splinter? If there is anything I can do, I shall do it."

Leo sighed, his voice grave as he described what had happened, and how sick Splinter was now, "The Healers told me that I should bring you...so you may say your good bye...he may not survive the night," he whispered, a tear sliding down his face.

"Fuck," Casey muttered, his word betraying the depth of feelings he was feeling.

April had tears in her eyes as she moved over to Leo, and sat down beside him, "I'm so sorry Leo..." she whispered, pulling Leo into a gentle hug.

Leo felt the tears building as the grief and the entire situation hit him suddenly, as he finally started to cry, to grieve for the future loss of his father. He cried for awhile, being held in April's arms, as he released the pain he was feeling inside at the moment.

"How is everyone faring?" Leatherhead asked gently when Leonardo finally pulled away.

Leo wiped his eyes with his hands as he explained, "Raph...Raph is pretty angry...and Don feels useless. He feels he should be able to save him...we went through so much...survived so much... that he can help Master Splinter...but he can't..." he explained as he felt the weight of the situation pushing down on him again.

"And Michelangelo?" Leatherhead asked, his voice wavering slightly, gruff and filled with pain.

Leo looked away, "Mikey...isn't taking it so well...Master Splinter collasped in front of him...and he went into shock...Raph is with him now."

"He is strong...you are all strong individuals. Master Splinter is indeed lucky to have raised you four," Leatherhead said softly.

"Leo," April called, making Leo look at her, "thank you for bringing us here...so we can say Good-bye."

Casey nodded, "Ya man, tha' awfully nice of ya...never got me own chance ta say good-bye before...ya dad...he's like a dad ta me...a stern one at tha'," he said, a wet chuckle leaving his mouth as he recalled the many times Splinter would reprimand him for stumbling on in the middle of the turtles training.

Leo smiled weakly, "I know...Master Splinter would have wanted to see his other children...his adopted children. He has often referred to you three as such...and you deserve to be here too...come...I'll show you the way..." as he got to his feet, wincing at the popping sound he heard in his knees from being in the same position for so long.

He felt achingly old, and knew for a fact, that it was going to get harder. He explained to them they were in the Battle Nexxus and that they would see aliens so not to panic.

* * *

Ouside the Healing Room

A mini reunion outside the room had friends hugging friends, expressing their sorrow at the situation and asking to help in any way.

"We decided that we need a few more minutes...so you may see him first," Leo said hoarsly, looking at the room with fear, "we...we need to talk first..."

"We understand...don't we Casey?" April said gently, before slapping Casey lightly on the arm.

"Ya man, we got it," Casey said, "but I'm sorry. I wish ya guys weren't going through t'is too...especially with tha' bunny boy problem."

Leo flinched at the words, glad that Raph and Mikey weren't there yet, responding with, "I know...and it's getting harder...Mikey...needs help...we don't know what else to do...but right now...we are concentrating on Master Splinter."

"We understand Leonardo...take your time. We shall have our moment with Master Splinter together, so you boys will have your own time," Leatherhead offerered.

April and Casey nodded, "Yes...we don't want to take up too much time away from him, from you. I'm so sorry this is happening Leo...Donnie..." hugging each of the turtles.

"Ya man...it's okay..." Casey said looking sad.

Leo and Don nodded, their eyes catching eachother, a look between them. A Healer stepped out of the room, and addressed them all, "He is asking for his adopted children first...he overheard you speaking out here," smiling a bit.

Casey chuckled weakly, "He still got those bionic ears," as he walked to the door, "can't get nuthin' past 'im."

They laughed lightly before becoming solemn once again, as April, Casey and Leatherhead entered the room.

* * *

The room was dark but lightened slowly as they walked closer. They saw Master Splinter on the bed, looking impossibly small and old in the white bed.

"Master Splinter?" April called out, sitting on the nearby chair and grabbing his paw gently into her own hand, tears filling her green eyes.

"Mis...Miss O'Niell," Splinter rasped out, a light in his eyes as he saw them, "I..I am sorry this is happening...when none is prepared."

"It's okay Master Splinter, no one plans these things," April said, trying to comfort her surrogate dad figure.

"My...adopted daughter...please...watch over my sons...ensure...they are doing well...I ask you for this, Miss O'Niell, for I fear...they will lose focus," Splinter said, slowly.

"I will Master Splinter," April said, tears falling down her cheeks as she watched him struggle to breathe.

"Where...ah...there you are Mr. Jones," Splinter said, his head turning to his right, seeing Casey sitting on the other side of the bed.

"Ya Masta' Splinta'?" Casey asked, his heart aching, pounding painfully in his chest. It was bringing back painful memories from his childhood.

"Please...Raphael...he shall need help... someone to watch for him... when he decides to vent his anger..." Splinter said slowly, "He is caring...for his younger brother. But even that anger that festers within...will explode...and he will need someone there...who will understand," Splinter rasped out slowly, "I ask you Mr. Jones, to watch over him, and help protect...my family..."

"I will Master Splinta', ya jist keep strong...those kids gonna need ta see ya too...so ...keep fightin...just awhile longer..." Casey said, "but I pr'mise, I will help protect all of us...and keep Raph safe..." holding Splinter's hand tightly.

"Thank you...to both of you...I thank you," Splinter said softly, his eyes closing tiredly.

"Masta' Splinta', can ya do me...a favor?" Casey asked hesitatingly.

"Of course...what...may I do for you?" Splinter asked, turning his darkening eyes to him.

"Can...can ya tell my dad...how I'm doin?" Casey whispered, "and tell 'im...tha' I got meself...a new adopted family...and I'm takin' good care of Ma?"

"I shall Mr. Jones...your father...will be proud...I know...I am..." Splinter took in a deep breathe, gazing at them all, "I am proud of you all."

Leatherhead felt uncomfortable, not sure how he fit in, but his heart ache, reminding him of the time he was left behind by the Utroms...by his family...and the pain it caused him.

"Leatherhead," he heard his name being called, and he moved forward, careful that his tail didn't hit anything vital, conscious that his big size could accidently knock something down, or over.

"Yes Master Splinter?" he said, his voice low and filled with pain.

"You...are a pillar of strength to...both Donatello...and Michelangelo. I ask...that you...keep an eye on them... Michelangelo will need support...as will Donatello..." Splinter whispered, "You...are strong...fierce protector...my sons... and I...are proud to know you..."

"No Master Splinter, I am proud to know you all. You have saved my life more than once, and I am grateful to know you all," Leatherhead explained, "I am sorry I am unable to help...I wish I was able too..."

"As...do I...but such wishes...is not the...natural order... I... suspected...that this...would occur soon," Splinter whispered, "I...have been feeling off...but ignored it. I do not blame none but myself."

"I know Master Splinter, but it hurts...to know that a brave soul is leaving us soon," Leatherhead admitted.

"Care for my sons...as I have asked Miss..Miss O'Niell and Mr. Jones...protect eachother..." and smiled as he looked at them all, "I...am glad...to know such individuals...and Miss O'Niell...Mr. Jones...I look forward to your future," he said smiling knowingly.

They looked confused, but nodded they heads. "I'll miss you Master Splinter," April cried out, hugging him with tears falling down her face.

"And...I shall miss you all...my children," he said smiling softly. It was silent for a moment, "I am ready to see my sons now," he whispered, feeling tired, "but first I wish to see a Healer."

"Okay Master Splinter, I love you," April whispered, wiping a tear off her cheek as she straightened.

They whispered their goodbyes once more, and left as a Healer entered the room.

Outside, Leo and Don stood up to the sight of a crying April, and a grim Casey and Leatherhead. "I'm so sorry this is happening," April cried out, clutching to Casey as she cried.

They talked amongst theirselves for a few minutes, before Casey said, "He's ready ta see ya guys..."

* * *

Leo nodded, gulping as he stared at the door.

"You may see him now, he is stable at the moment," the Healer said gently, leading Leonardo into the room.

"Thank you," he said weakly, following him into Master Splinter's room. He inhaled sharply when he saw Master Splinter. _Oh God, he ...he looks so weak..._ Leo thought as he walked closer.

"Master Splinter?" he called out, wondering if he was awake.

Splinter's eyes snapped open, his chest heaving with each breathe, "Leonardo," he breathed out raspily.

"Hey father," Leo said quietly, taking the seat beside Splinter's bed and grabbing his father's hand. "You're gonna be okay, right sensei?"

Splinter was quiet for a moment, making Leo glance up, seeing the flash of sorrow and pain in his father's eyes. _He knows...he knows this is his time..._ "You can't leave father, please! I...I can't be father to them, I can't give them what they need...they need you...I need you," Leo said panicked, his own chest heaving as he tried holding back his own tears.

"L...Leonardo," Splinter gasped out, gripping Leo's hand through a spasm of pain.

Leo whimpered, terrified, about to call for the healer, when Splinter gripped his hand once more, getting his attention.

"Leonardo," Splinter started again, his breathing under control for the moment, "I...I know my passing...it is not the right time. I...I cannot help...this..." he started, his deep brown eyes shimmering with regret, "I must...talk with you...about leadership...family...and responsibility."

"Master...I can't do this without you," Leo said, looking away, feeling the pang of guilt and fear, "I can't do it..."

"You must, my son," Splinter said quietly, his paw reaching up, caressing Leonardo's brow gently, "I...I cannot be there...but I am in spirit. I...I will be watching you, and I will always be there."

"But you aren't! You're...you're dying," Leo choked out, tears finally dropping down his face, his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he tried to stop himself.

"I am...but...you must be strong. Leonardo...y..you are now the leader...of the clan. Y...You must teach your brothers. S..show them love, gentleness, and patience. These are what will guide you," Splinter said slowly, the struggle evident in the small beeping noise nearby, showing his heart rate.

Leo shook his head, "But...sensei...father...h...how can I begin to teach them...guide them...I can't! You just can't leave. Stay with me, with us, please father," Leo begged, clutching Splinter's paw, desperate.

"I...I am sorry my son...to put such a large load upon your young shoulders..." Splinter gasped, inhaling sharply, before breaking out into deep coughs. Leo's eyes widen with horror, his heart racing as he yanked on the call string.

Healers rushed in, one turning to him asking, "What has happened?"

Leo replied weakly, "He...he was talking...then started to cough...it wouldn't stop..." he said, watching in shock as they crowed around his father.

He was numb as he watched them talk with each other. "Leonardo, it is alright now. Your father is stable once more. Just try to be calm when talking with him."

Leo nodded, walking back over and sitting down in the seat. "I'm sorry father," feeling guilty as he glanced up at Splinter.

"No my son...I...pushed myself..." Splinter said weakly.

Leo stared at Splinter, unsure on what to say next so he stayed silent.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his arm, and glanced up, seeing Splinter looked at him, a grave expression on his face. His heart beat faster and he hastily rubbed the tears that had been falling from his cheeks. "Yes father?" he asked weakly.

"I...have written...letters...to all of you...my adopted children as well..." Splinter said, his voice strained with effort.

"Letters? Where are they?" he asked, slightly curious and he knew Splinter was weak, wanting time with all of them.

A thought crossed his mind, and he felt anger flare up, "You knew you were sick, didn't you!" he said quickly, standing, "That's why you wrote them! You knew you were sick!"

Splinter shook his head slowly, trying to get his son to look at him, "N...no...my son. I did...not know. I felt dizzy...that is all."

Leo felt his shoulders drooping at the words, his heart aching painfully, "Y...you really didn't know?"

Splinter whispered, "No, I did not. I have been...busy...with Michelangelo and did...did not take...care of myself."

"Mikey's pretty scared father...we all are...what are we going to do without you?" Leo asked, choking up as he leaned down against his father's arm, and started to cry.

He felt Splinter's paw rubbing his head, just like when he was a child. His eyes filled with tears, and he was clutching Splinter's hand, "Please don't leave...please father...stay with us."

"No one can master how long their time is, my son," Splinter said slowly, "We can only master how we live."

"What are we going to do? What will I have to do?" Leo asked, glancing up, his face near Splinter's, feeling Splinter's paw on the side of his face, the warmth reminding him once more of when he was little.

"You will lead your family...be a leader, as well as a brother..." Splinter said slowly, "You must remember, you are both, not one...or the other. Give your brothers...patience...time... let them come to you... rather than you push them to talk," he said, closing his eyes as another spasm passed through him.

"Please don't leave," Leo begged but knew it was futile. _His father was dying...and he couldn't do anything to stop it. _

"My son...listen to me...I...have written many journals...for you to follow...you're brothers...as well," Splinter said quietly, his voice having grown hoarse.

Leo reached over to the table, spying some cold water and helped Splinter drink some. He gently lifted his father up, helping him, cringing at how weak he was.

"Where are they sensei?" he asked, his voice slightly calmer but still wavering. He knew now, he had to shoulder the burden of leader soon, and to get used to making decisions.

"They...are in my chest...the key...is here..." and Splinter reached up, pulling a key that had hung around his neck. Leo remembered seeing that key when he was a kid. He had tried stealing it away for months, before finally stopping after being punished.

"How did it survive?" Leo asked, awed, reaching for the key slowly. It was warm in his hand, still warm from being close to Splinter's body.

"Donatello...had made...made me...a steel...box to keep it in. It...helped to survive the attacks... Read the journals...it...will explain... everything...you need to know. Things you must read...and help your brothers cope," Splinter explained, "they...it is my last words.."

Leo choked up as he hugged his father tightly, his body shaking and trembling as he cried, murmuring, "No..not yet...stay..."

"I am sorry...Leonardo...but I must go...but I will need time with each of you...I love you Leonardo," Splinter said, making Leo look up at him; "Never doubt my love. I shall watch over you and aid when I am allowed. Fret not my son, for one day far in the future, we shall re-unite."

"Yes father," Leo whispered, the tears still falling gently down his cheeks.

"You are strong...and brave Leonardo. You possess strength and spirit, but you must also show your love..." Splinter said softly, "Leonardo..."

Leo glanced up, struggling to blink back tears, "Father...please...save your strength."

"It...it is all right," Splinter said gently, "be patient, but strong. Do not give into your fears. Teach your brothers...to be strong...even when scared."

"I will father...I will," Leo whispered, hugging his father tightly.

"I love you my son, do not doubt this. You are young for being leader...but I know...you can do this," Splinter said quietly.

"I love you dad," Leo said quietly, his voice wavering as he started to sob.

They sat there, father and son, lost in the moment as they both grieved for the imminent future.

* * *

Don stood at the doorway, talking to the Healer, his stomach in knots as he listened to the Healers report.

"the medicine he is receiving is just stabilizing him. We have no way to alter the effects to cure him of heart condition," Healer Ariiliya said gently.

Don rubbed his face as he started to pace, "What about adapting Earth medicine with your alien medicine. One of them, or both, would probably be able to booster Master Splinter's immune system to allow the medicine to heal him."

"I am sorry, but what you speak of can be done, but it may possibly kill your father before the medicine is even able to take effect," she explained, a frown on her face.

"**LOOK**, there has to be something! For all the technology and advancements, you should be able to cure the lungs and the heart!" he said angrily, feeling the fire burning inside, wanting to lash out at her.

"Donatello, we have tried what we could. You're father can only be cured if he has a heart transplant, but with him being the only kind of his species that is mutated; the likelihood of finding a donor is slim!" Ariiliya said, his eyes sparkling with her own anger.

Don felt his own guilt and shame building up, the tendrils of failure screaming at him as he was about to turn around and scream at her, when the door slowly swung open. He froze, his heart beating painfully loud in his ears.

He saw Leo coming out, looking like he was a kicked puppy, tears still falling gently down his face. He made no attempt to even wipe them away.

"Donnie...Father wants to see you. You can go inside now," Leo said to him, looking up.

Don felt sick, his stomach twisted and he shook his head, "Mike and Raph aren't here yet!"

Leo sighed, pushing the door closed gently, "It's okay Donnie, I'll wait for them. This is..take this time... it...it may be the only chance to say... goodbye."

Donnie glared at Leo, wanting to lash out angrily, to scream that it wasn't true, but when he saw Leo's eyes, and saw the depth of pain and remorse, he stopped, stepping back.

"I'm scared.." he confessed to Leo, looking away ashamed.

"I know bro...I know. It's scary. But Splinter wants to say something to you...to tell you his own words...in his voice...take this chance Don," Leo said gently, touching Don's shoulder, looking him in the eyes.

Don held the gaze, mesmerized by Leo's eyes, tears filling his own, "Take the chance to say your final goodbye...you may miss out..." he heard Leo say softly, his own eyes filled with painful understanding.

Don nodded weakly, understanding what Leo was talking about. He drew in a deep shaky breathe, and walked to the door. He slowly pushed it open, his eyes adjusting to the room dim lights. His eyes darted over the screen hovering beside Splinter's bed, eyeing it. He could hear the soft beeping sound of Splinter's heartbeat, and started to reach for the chart nearby.

Suddenly, he saw Splinter move, and he froze, not sure what even to say or even do.

"Donatello?" Splinter whispered out, his head turning towards Donatello.

"F..father," Don stuttered, sitting down beside him, "How are you feeling? Is there any pain? Did they give you any painkillers...or some medicine?"

Splinter gave him a small smile, his eyes lit up with slight amusement, "I...feel ...tired at the moment, my son. I do not feel any pain, but that may be due to the medicine they gave me," Splinter said slowly, "but I am unsure of ingredients."

Don smiled weakly back; knowing his constant questions was what put the smile on Splinter's face.

"You'll be okay father, I promise! I...I'm trying to find a way to cure you, I just haven't combined the right properties yet, but when I do..." Don said frantically, his words stumbling over each other as he went off in a tangent.

"Donatello," Splinter called out, interrupting him.

Don paused, "Yes sensei," he asked, bowing his face away, glancing at the monitor again, and checking the levels.

_Well, according to that he is stable, but his heart rhythm is messed up...it's not pumping his blood enough...I...I don't know how to fix that.._

"I am sorry my son," Splinter said, placing his paw on top of Donnie's.

"For what sensei?" Don asked, his other hand moving to go on top of Splinters, tears prickling his eyes.

"I know this is hard for you my son. I suspect that you had seen that I had been tired as of late," Splinter said.

Donnie nodded, glancing at the chart again _Well, he was given painkillers...and something to help him calm the coughs and breathe a little easier..._

"Yeah, I noticed you've been sick...it was weird, but with everything Mikey was going through...I...well...I forgot. I'm so sorry sensei! I should have made you get a check-up a long time ago, and then maybe this wouldn't have happened!" Don said, a tear slipping down his cheek, landing softly on top of his hand.

"This is not your fault Donatello. I should have taken better care of myself, and knew I should have seen a healer. Michelangelo... needed me," Splinter said quietly, "you are...still young... but...I know you can...survive."

Don bit his lip, wanting to deny Splinter's words, but he knew it was true. "I'm sorry father," he choked out, "I...I want...I want you to stay... please... fight harder!"

Splinter looked at Donatello gently, his eyes glazed slightly, a tear leaving his own and slipping into his fur, "My gentle son..."

Don's eyes watered, "Yes father?"

"You have a gentle spirit that is filled with wonder and knowledge... Do not lose yourself in it," Splinter said, holding Donatello's hand.

"But...but...that's who I am..." Don said weakly, "All...all I have is my brains... the guys...they'll blame me... I'm supposed to know how to save you!"

Splinter shook his head, "They...will not blame you... they...they will be distraught...unsure and scared. They will need you Donatello, to help them..."

Don bit his lip, wiping a stray tear away, "No...they don't need me, they need you," he whispered.

Splinter gripped Donnie's hand firmly, gathering his attention, "My gentle son...it is alright to feel fear...and be unable to save someone...it is not your fault...this is not your fault."

Don glanced away, his eyes on the monitor, trying to hide his face, "It feels like it...it feels like I'm failing...that out of all the miracles I ever did...this is something beyond my grasp...I feel helpless sensei...and useless...I can't help anyone… not even you," Don said, looking back at Splinter, holding his gaze, "I want to help Mikey, but I'm no good there... I can't help you...Father...please...fight harder..." he choked out, feeling his chest hitch as he tried suppressing the urge to cry, "I can't do this alone."

"You...you are not alone...my son...your brothers...they are here...with you. You...will all help...each...other..." Splinter gasped out slowly, getting weaker and tired, "You are passionate and kind...these...are good traits...keep them...but remember...your brothers...do...do not loose yourself...talk with your brothers..."

Don whimpered, "I understand father...but I'm going to miss you like crazy," as he reached for the monitor, upping the oxygen in the tube attached to Splinter so he could breathe a little easier.

"I shall miss...you all...be patient...with each...other...do...do no separate yourselves..." Splinter whispered.

Don waited patiently as Splinter's breathing calmed, but saw the tired look in his eyes. His own eyes filled, as he reached over and touched Splinter's face, the feeling of soft fur on his palm, made him want to scream his denial. _He can't be dying..._

"Master Splinter...you should rest," Don said, closing his eyes painfully.

Splinter smiled, "I shall rest my son, for I know I need to speak with Raphael and Michelangelo," touching Donnie's face gently.

Donnie felt his lip trembling, his chest hitching as he realized he wouldn't be able to feel this in the future..._no more hugs...no more kisses...no more teas with his father..._and the dam broke, and he started to sob, clutching his father tightly, mumbling, "please don't go."

"I love you Donatello...do not forget this," Splinter said softly in his ear, holding him as tightly as he could, despite how weak he was.

"You are strong, courageous and intelligent, I am very proud of you," Splinter said slowly, but softly.

Don just held onto his father, crying his heart out as they drank in their moment together. He felt Splinter relax and almost panicked, but he saw the tell tale signs that Splinter was just resting.

He wiped his tears away, eyes red as he stood up, "I love you father...I won't forget..." and he turned, leaving the room.

When he stepped outside, he started to cry, slipping to his knees outside the door. He felt a hand on his shoulder, his name being called, and glanced up. He saw Leo looking at him, his own eyes red like his. "Is...is he?" Leo started to ask, breaking off his sentence.

"No...just resting...t...this is hard on him...he needs...he needs a rest before sending in Raph or Mikey," Don said, rubbing his eyes, looking away.

"Don...this isn't your fault. Even the Battle Nexus Healers can't heal him...I'm sorry..." Leo said, trying to help his brother.

Don shook his head, "I know...it...it just frustrating Leo. I should know a way to save him, but I tried...I tried adapting medicine, but the research I have, would kill him faster! What are we going to do? Mikey really needs father right now...so do we!"

Leo sighed, looking worried and anxious, "I know Donnie...but what can we do? Master Splinter is dying...all we can do, is accept it, and help our brothers."

Don nodded, "It hurts Leo...I'm...I'm going to miss him..." thinking of a future without his father, was hard.

"I know Donnie, I know..." Leo whispered, pulling Don into his arms, wrapping his own around him, and Don burst into tears, just letting out his pain. Don felt teardrops dripping down on his head, and knew Leo was crying as well.

The brothers cried, clutching to each other as they tried to grieve for the moment that was coming...

* * *

Raph glanced down at Mikey, who was trembling as he walked. "Mike...are ya sure ya can handle it?"

Mikey stared at him, his blue eyes flashing with hurt, "Of course I can...I...I have to...I might not...I might not get another chance," Mikey whispered quietly.

Raph sighed, feeling guilty for asking, "I know ya gotta...I jist...worry 'bout you...you were pretty torn up earlier...and...you...were all messed up."

_Stupid Raph, remind your little brother about his episodes why don't you?_ He thought as he helped Mikey walk.

"Shut up," Mikey snapped at him, looking away ashamed, and embarrassed.

"It's okay Mike...it's hard ta deal wit...ya know...ya goin' through some big changes 'ere," Raph said calmly, but internally, he was all messed up.

"No, I'm okay...Splinter's dying. I get it..." Mikey said, his voice strangely dull like, "ain't nothing I can do about it... I can't save him."

Raph felt his heart clench up at Mikey's words, echoing inside his own and making him want to cry. He opened the door to the Healer's Pavilion, helping Mikey inside. He stopped at the sight of Leo and Don crying ahead of him.

His heart raced, roaring in his ears as he ran, letting go of Mikey in his haste. _Oh God, please tell me I ain't to late!_ As he ran over, he saw Leo glanced up, giving him a small smile. _Oh thank god...he's still 'ere...I can talk ta 'im..._

"Guys..is he?" He asked, hearing Mikey panting behind him, vaguely thinking Mikey should get a check-up.

"No...he's sleeping...but he wants to see you both," Leo said as he helped Don up. He wiped his eyes quickly before looking at him, "You're first Raph..."

Raph's eyes widen, his heart clenching, "Ya sure?"

Leo nodded, "Yes...I think he wants to see us in order...that's why it's the way it is."

Raph nodded, before turning to Mikey, "Ya gonna be a'ight while I'm in there?"

Mikey glanced at him, eyes glazed but no tears fell, "I...I think so..."

Raph nodded, before walking towards the room, hesitating at the doors. He took a deep breathe, flashing a glance at his brothers before he disappeared inside.

He saw Splinter resting on the bed, and the small beeping noise of the monitor, and the slight hiss of another machine. "Masta' Splinta'?" he called softly. He felt guilty for waking him up. It wasn't right.

"Raphael..." Splinter whispered, his dark eyes opening blearily, "I...I wished to talk with you..."

"I'm here..." knowing he needed to address him properly, he whispered, "Father...but save your strength."

"I am afraid...I do not ...have much longer..." Splinter gasped out, "So I must hurry... I am sorry."

Raph felt his eyes fill with tears and that burning rage growing within, wanting to lash out at anything at the moment, "It's okay father..."

"My son...you...have always...been filled...with such...passion...a fire...that burns within...that grows in intensity...when you add fuel..." Splinter whispered, his hand sliding to Raphael's and gripping tightly.

"I know father..." Raph said quickly, wiping his eyes. _I'm the tough one...why...do I feel like screamin' at 'im? _

"Your anger...your passion...is rare...but powerful...tame the fire...the anger within...do not let it control you," Splinter said, gathering Raph's attention, "Your brothers need you...especially Michelangelo."

"They don't need me father...I'm the hot head...Mikey's strong..." Raph said, deflecting Splinter's words. _Tha' not true. _

"You...have a bond with all...but a unique one with Michelangelo... cherish...and embrace this family...you are strong, brave and have...a strong will and passion to protect your brothers," Splinter said, his chest heaving a little faster, "keep an eye on them. Protect them...for I am no longer going to be there..."

Raph nodded, biting his lip as he tried to stop his eyes from filling with tears...they strung...and he felt some slip free. He refused to reach up and brush them away, knowing this time was crucial. He was silent for a few more minutes, allowing Splinter time to catch his breathe.

"Father...dad...I hate tha' your dyin'. It don't seem right, or fair...ya gotta hang on...we all need ya...I need ya too...don't leave us," Raph begged, his vision growing blurred as the tears distracted him.

He glanced down at his hand, seeing Splinter grip it gently and glanced up.

"I...do not wish...to leave you...but as I told the others...I am not Master of the time the ancestors...give me..." Splinter said, his eyes closing tiredly, "Be brave my son...and help your brothers...the strength they need...is what you...are full of...my determined son...so filled with fire...flaring...building...my son..."

Raph's eyes widen as the heart monitor flickered a moment, before settling into a slow thumping beep. He relaxed,

"I love you father..."

"And...I...I...Love ...you..." Splinter whispered, eyes opening a fracture, "always..."

Raph nodded, crying over Splinter's body, his shoulders shaking as he hid his face into Splinter's chest, just like he did as a child.

The minutes ticked by as he cried, basking himself in his father's warmth, gathering each second moments to keep.

"Send...Michelangelo...in," Splinter whispered tiredly.

"Yes father...I will miss you," Raph said, then stood up and leaned over to give Splinter a light kiss on the forehead.

"I...will miss you all..." Splinter said.

Raph opened the door, and stepped out, the tears still falling down his cheeks. This time, he made no movement to wipe them away.

"He wants ta see Mikey," Raph said finally, looking around for Mikey.

He looked over to where Mikey sat, huddled on the couch, ignoring the Healer's words beside him. He frowned, glancing at Leo. "Why is he 'ere?"

"Mikey had a panic attack a moment ago...they had to help him breathe..." Leo said, his own face pale and drained.

"He wants to see Mikey...but Donnie...Master Splinter's getting pretty weak...I don't think he'll last much longer...can you ask tha Healer ta give him somethin'...ta keep 'im awake?"

Don nodded, before quickly disappearing down the hallway.

* * *

Mikey sat on the couch, his heart still racing in fear and panic. He could hear the Healer telling him to breathe, to be calm and everything. _How can I be calm...when I can sense him dying? I can feel it getting stronger...why can't I save him...I'm useless...Usagi was right...all I do was cause pain..._

Mikey shivered at the mention of Usagi's name, not liking it even being thought of. _What do I do?_

"Mikey...hey Mike," he heard from far away, before something touched his shoulder and the world focused around him.

He looked up, seeing Raph's shimmering eyes, and knew it was his turn. _This...is not right..._

"My turn...eh?" he asked quietly.

"Ya...ya...wanna have someone in there wit you?" Raph asked concerned.

Mikey shook his head, "Nah...it's okay..." and he got to his feet, feeling strange, like he was detached or something.

He walked to the room, and saw Splinter on the bed, chest heaving.

"Oh god...dad..." Mikey whispered, his heart racing, this time with fear, panic, anguish. "Daddy...dad...I mean...please be okay..."

"Michelangelo..." Splinter whispered weakly, a small smile growing on his face, "You...are here..."

"I'm here dad..." Mikey said, pulling a weak smile on his face, "you are gonna get better...ya gonna fight this...right?"

"My son...I am sorry...but...this...fight...is...a ...battle...that I cannot...win...at..." Splinter gasped out.

Mikey's eyes watered, emotions and pain engulfed his heart, the emotions flowing off his father hurt. _I want to help! But I can't...father...please..._

"You...are...so good...pure...nothing...has changed...how I ...look at you..." Splinter gasped out, "Learn...to smile...once again...keep ...the light...alive...for you...and your brother's sake."

Mikey shook his head, a tear slipping slowly down his cheeks. "I can't sensei...I...I want to...but I can't."

"You shall...one day...my son...learn...trust the world...and us..." Splinter gasped out, "I am...sorry...I have failed...you..."

Mikey's eyes watered, tears splashing down his cheeks as he shook his head rapidly, "You never failed me father!"

Splinter shook his head sadly, eyes still glazed as he slowly reached up for the sling top, where his shoulder was damaged, "I...failed to...protect...you..." he whispered. _It's not his fault! It's not...it's okay...not all parents...can protect their kids...I know that...we fall through the cracks sometimes...that's all. _

"You didn't fail me sensei...dad...you are ..now...well...you'll still look over...me...and the others too, right?" Mikey choked out.

"I...I will always be there...to help you through the transition. You must...learn to smile...brighten up not only your day...but theirs...that is your job...now..." Splinter said before he started to cough. Nurses ran in, helping him breathe a little easier.

"I'm so sorry dad...I'm a failure...I screwed it all up," Mikey said as he wiped his face of tears.

"Never...my son...are you a ...failure..." Splinter said slowly, the coughing and spasms were taking a toll.

Mikey whispered weakly, leaning over partly, as he hugged him, "I love you dad...just...watch me...and the guys...be our guardian angel..." he whispered.

"I love you Michelangelo...never doubt this...or your brothers...and I will...be your...angel..." Splinter gasped clutching his chest before his eyes rolled back wards in his head and slipped closed, his body slumped into the bed.

Mikey listened in horror as the once steady noise of the machines suddenly started to shriek warnings. Mikey was froze with terror unable to move or speak. The noise of the machines altered the healers in the hall they rushed into the room quickly followed by his brothers.

Mikey was gently but forcible pushed aside, he backed pedaled until his shell hit a wall and he slumped to the floor bonelessly as he watched the healers swarm over his fathers motionless form.

After several tense minutes the healers quickly spoke to his brothers before they left the room quietly. Mikey watched in alarm – tears streaming down his face – as Donnie went around and shut off all the machines. Their blaring alarms slowly faded until the room was deathly silent.

Donnie and Leo knelt by their fathers be both heads bowed to there chest, their eyes closed in grief. Mikey couldn't believe that their sensei… their father had passed away in front of him.

Raph walked over to Mikey and crouched in front of him. His baby brother didn't move or reacted to his approach very gently and slowly he reached out and shook his shoulder. Mikey jerked at his touch his dull eyes sought his as new tears filled them.

"Mikey?" Raph asked worriedly.

"He's gone isn't he," Mikey asked in a very soft voice, his eyes fell to a spot on the floor as the unshed tears fell unabated down his cheeks.

"No he isn't," Raph gentle whispered, "he's still alive, Mikey."

Mikey's eyes snapped up to his trying to determine if this was a lie or not, "Then why did Donnie shut the machines off?" Mikey questioned.

"The healers said it isn't long now and Donnie felt that we didn't need the alarms to announce when he passes away. Mikey" Raph explained gently his voice thick with hidden emotion, "If ya ready, ya want to sit by his side?"

Mikey nodded numbly as Raph helped him up and over to his father's bed side. He dropped heavily to the chair nearby, staring at Master Splinter.

* * *

Leo watched his father's chest rose and fell in short raspy breaths, his breathing had slowed steadily over the last hour he and his brothers had kept their grim vigil by his bed side.

Master Splinter's body was jerked by another seizure. Leo reached out and gentle gathered his father's seizing body into his arms. Splinters eyes are closed tightly, white foam oozes out between his clenched jaw. Donnie bends forwards and wipes the foam from his lips as Leo gentle rocks his father slowly back and forth, singing softly to him while the seizures wracked his body.

Leo knows his father must be in excruciating pain. Even though Donnie tried to ensure his brothers that because of the coma Master Splinter isn't aware of it. As cruel as it sound Leo just wish that his father would die already instead of this slow and grueling death. His father didn't deserve such a torturous death.

Master Splinters body seizes again, his mouth drops opened a pained cry escapes his lips. Leo feels hot tears run down his face, he swallows thickly and holds his father tighter to his plastron. He tries to sing to him again to sooth his fathers pain but a painful lump had formed in his throat chocking off his words.

After a final violent thrash Splinters body relaxes again, sagging in his sons arms. His head rolls back and rests against Leo's shoulder. Foam slowly dribbles down his mouth. Donnie once again leans forwards and gently wipes Splinters mouth, his hand shaking slightly from the silent sobs that shook his body.

Everybody holds their breaths as Splinters breathing hitches, Raph reached out and grasped his hand terrified the moment was upon them. Leo held on to Splinter tighter as if he could some how stop death from taken his mentor…

Then Splinter lets out a shuddering, raspy breath. Once more the dark vigil continues.

Master Splinter has seized for almost an hour instead of seizures his body is hit with deep harsh coughs bring blood to his lips. _Donnie says his lungs are slowly filling with blood, _Leo thought as he watched.

Leo tries to mummer soothing words to him but how can you comfort someone who is slowly suffocating in your arms.

Splinters breaths are so ragged that the brothers could not only hear them, but Leo could feel them vibrate through his body. Leo could acutely feel Splinters lungs struggling to take another breath before letting it out in a raspy wheeze that was growing worst as time moves on.

_Splinter is so cold._ Leo finds this strange his father has always been far warmer then he and his brothers to have the role reversed, Leo found this unsettling. Splinters eyes that held so much wisdom, have sunken into his face.

Splinter's breathing has changed to a short gasping pant. 'How much longer do we have before the struggle to live becomes to great.' Leo wonders to himself keeping his eyes locked on his fathers body, not daring to look into the pale, stricken faces of his brothers.

Leo felt Splinters tired muscles tense under his steel gray fur – his robe was removed earlier to make him more comfortable - when it hits, it's worse than the others, making Splinters legs kicks out, in different directions. Raph and Donnie each grab a leg, trying to hold him still, while Leo tried to hold Splinters trashing upper.

Leo silently prays that Donnie is right that you can't feel what's happening as the seizures continued not stopping.

Foam rushes out of Splinters mouth now, more crimson than white. Leo could see Splinter try to cough out the invading foam that's blocking his struggling breathing. Even though Leo knows that his father will die soon, this is something he can fix. For the time being, anyway.

Leo quickly brings his hand up, knowing he's risking his fingers on Splinter's razor sharp teeth, if he has another seizure, and quickly swipe the inside of Splinters mouth. Slowly, he drags out the sticky red foam. Leo does it once more, feeling this is as comfortable as he can make his father, and Splinters breathing eases a little.

Splinter is still fighting deaths grip but against death nobody wins, everyone fails in the long run. Death always wins.

Splinter's breaths are now shallow, far and few in between. His body is completely limp in Leo's arms, the cold that has settled over Splinters body is so deep that if Leo didn't know better he'd think he was holding a block of ice and not his fathers body.

Leo can feel Splinters feeble heart beating against his as he press him tightly against his plastron. It's weak and irregular. Leo knows it won't last much longer.

Splinters death final hits home to the young leader. Never again will he hear his father's wise voice, his gentle laughter, feel his comforting hand when they are sick or hurt. Leo can feel Splinter's heart as it slows even more. You stop breathing, but the beat pushes on.

Master Splinter gasped, clutching his chest with one arm, his face tightening with the pain. Leo's heart broke as he watch his Master struggle to get air into failing lungs.

Splinter's free arm claws at his sons arm, leaving long deep scratches behind but Leo didn't feel them through his agony. Leo's eyes blurred as tears streamed down his face.

Splinters body started to thrash and twist in a desperate effort to force air into lungs but slowly his thrashing becomes weaker and weaker. Onyx black eyes sought out hazel ones of his son, Leo watches as Splinters life slowly fades away.

Suddenly, in one large convulsion, his movements ceased completely. Leo leaned down, buried his face into Splinter's neck, cradling his head and pulling him closer to him as let out a heart wrenching wail from the bottom of his soul.


	16. So Close

**A/N: Thanks so much to Amonrapheonix for helping. Next Chapter will be posted over the weekend!**

* * *

Leo rocked back and forth cradling his dead fathers body tightly to his chest as he wailed out his despair and grief. Tears streamed down his cheeks in thick rivers as his body shook with each heart wrenching sobs. Donnie tried to comfort his grief stricken brother, gently rubbing his shell in soothing circles not saying anything just hoping his gentle presence and him offering moral support, could comfort his distraught brother.

Donnie shot a look at Raph and Mikey. Raph was trying to hide the thick tears that also coursed down his cheeks. Mikey on the other hand seemed in shock. His glazed eyes continued to seem to stare through Splinters motionless body as if his mind tried to compared what happened but couldn't.

Whatever Mikey was thinking suddenly kicked him into motion. He quickly stood, without a word, and bolted for the open window. Mikey paused long enough to grab his father's robe before jumping through the open window.

Donnie knew none of them should be alone right now, especially Mikey.

Donnie caught Raph's attention and mouth to his brother to go after him. Raph was torn he knew Mikey would need him but he didn't want to leave Leo, the sounds of grief Leo was making was tearing his heart into shreds. He never saw his strong, confident, cool headed brother like this before and it terrified Raph.

Raph looked at Don again, his brother gave him a reassuring small smile that never reached his eyes. Raph got the message Donnie would look after Leo, while Raph looked after Mikey. Raph rose and followed Mikey through the window.

Mikey ran, _he didn't know where he was running but he just had to get away from what just happened. He couldn't believe that his Master… his father was dead_. "He promise… he'd be… there with… me," Mikey whispered huskily to himself, panting slightly from exhaustion from the harsh run.

Mikey crashed through a thicket of trees before collapsing to his knee's in exhaustion at the edge of a small clearing. Mikey looked up and gasped in wonder, his eyes roamed around the small meadow; everything was emerald green, and full of strange life forms.

He rose tiredly to his feet and stepped quietly over the thick mossy ground and towards small pool that was at the center of the small meadow, with a spectacular waterfall, 15ft high, that fell gentle into the clear waters below. _Its so peaceful here_, Mikey thought in awe as he knelt by the crystal clear water, watching fish swim below him lazily.

Mikey remembered he was clutching his fathers robe tightly, tears stung his eyes as he buried his face into the familiar cloth and breathed in his fathers musky scent. Mikey broke into harsh sobs as every memory of his father flashed before his eyes, both the good ones and the bad ones. "I can't believe your gone Dad," Mikey wailed into the robe soaking it with tears.

Mikey woke up to a soft blue glow looking around he saw one of the message orbs that the nexus use to communicate. _I must have fallen _asleep Mikey thought as he looked at the sky between the tree branches, it was late afternoon. _My brothers must be really worried_, he thought guilty as he reached up and gently tapped the orb to play the message.

But the voice that spoke was not his brothers, it was Usagi's.

"One down, three to go Michelangelo. Who should be next? I told you, you are mine, for life. However long that may be." Usagi laughed evilly before the orb winked out and left Mikey in the dim light of the clearing.

Mikey's eyes widen in fear and quickly looked around the clearing fearing he had some how found him but Mikey was alone. Mikey bolted from the clearing, he had to get away from his family he was a danger to them but what could he do.

Then the answer came to Mikey.

* * *

Raph followed Mikey as best as he could but Mikey wasn't easy to find. Raph chuckled to himself, _that bonehead has had way to much practice from hidden from him when he would pull one of his pranks._

Raph sighed heavily, '_will his goofy little brother gone for good…? He knew with the loss of Splinter their lives would never be the same again.'_

Raph growled and hit a trunk of tree out of frustration. Pushing himself into the same clearing where Mikey had been, Raph gasped in wonder was he took in the amazing meadow. His eyes dropped to the ground by the pool, Splinters robe was lying on the ground, Raph looked around but didn't see his baby brother.

"Something musta happened to him," Raph growled out loud, "he would never leave this behind." Raph walked over and tenderly picked up the fallen robe, he searched the ground and quickly picked up Mikey's tracks. '_Not like it was hard,_' Raph groused to himself, the trail was way to visible for someone trained as a ninja, '_something bad musta happened.' _Raph flew down Mikey's path determined to find his brother before something horrific did happened.

Raph had been climbing a small mountain for the past half an hour until he final broke through the trees at the summit, a huge barren clearing with short grass swept before him before it abruptly ended with a cliff on the far side. Raph could see his brother standing near the edged of cliff, in his hands he held a Kunai knife.

Raph gasped in horror as Mikey slowly raised the blade and pressed it against his throat. Raph didn't know what to do if he called out to Mikey to stop, Mikey might cut himself accidentally and Raph was too far away to stop him physical there was at least 60 feet of open ground between him and his brother.

Mikey's hand was shaking as he held the knife against his throat. Raph was breathing heavily, he could see a thin trickle of blood flowing down his brothers neck and plastron.

Then without warning the knife fell from Mikey's grasp.

Raph breathed a sigh of relief, Mikey wasn't going to commit suicide. But that thought turned to ash as Mikey walked a few steps closer to the edge. _**Oh God, NO!**_ Raph's soul screamed out in anguish. Instead of slitting his throat Mikey decided to jump instead.

Raph carefully walked into the clearing trying not to startle his brother. He watched in horror as Mikey slowly crept towards the edge of the cliff, less then a foot from death, and stare out at the setting sun before Mikey's head tilted down ward as he took in the view far below him.

When Raph was only 10 feet from Mikey, he called out to his brother. "Mikey?" Raph asked softly, hoping he wouldn't scare him.

"Hey Raphie. You should come see the view. It's looks really nice from up here." Mikey said casually.

"I'd rather not, bro. How about you come over here, and we'll talk about this okay? Please?" Raph gently asked him.

"I can't live without Splinter. I just can't. I have nothing now... I am nothing." Mikey said in a small voice.

"Yes you do. You have me, Donnie and Leo? And what about all our other friends?" Raph questioned as he slowly walked closer to him. " And remember what he taught us, a person might die but a part of them is still alive in us."

"They'll get over it. You will to Raphie. Just, turn around and forget that I was ever in your life. I shouldn't be remembered, I've brought this family nothing but pain and misery ." Mikey said softly, closing his eyes as tears fell silently down his cheeks.

Raph didn't know when he started crying, but he could feel them falling and soaking his bandana. "Mikey, please, bro. Don't do this, we need you. You are our light." Raph pleaded.

Mikey turned his head and looked at Raph. He gave his brother a sad apologetic smile, "Sorry Raphie, I have to. It's the only way," and turned back around.

"Don't do it! Just stop and think of everybody… what this would do them, to me," Raph urged his brother, his best friend.

"I am, Raph!" Mikey yelled back. "That's all I've ever done!"

"Then why?" Raph asked gently.

"Because it's the only way to keep everyone safe," Mikey softly.

Raph's head spun, _he was going to lose him, his baby brother. ANOTHER member of his family. He'd lost his father already, he just couldn't lose somebody else so soon._ Raph took a deep breath and spoke the first thing that came to his mind.

"Please Mikey." Raph begged. Mikey ignored him. "I don't want to lose you to," Raph croaked out his voice full of emotion. He hoped he could get through to Mikey, and he'd realize that he was making a big mistake.

Raph slowly walked closer to him. He was about 7 feet away now, almost close enough to touch him. If Mikey knew he was closer he didn't show it, he kept staring down wards.

"Don't come closer, Raph." Mikey ordered softly. So softly, that Raph almost didn't hear him.

"Then just back away from the edge... Damn It! I'll do something. Anything!" Raph pleaded again.

"You can't help me Raph. It's too late. I'm already dead." Mikey whispered.

Anger flowed through Raph. _Didn't he understand that this wouldn't solve anything? Didn't he care how much pain this would cause his family? Didn't he care at all?_

"Live your life Raphie. I love you, bro. Tell Leo and Don I love them too and will miss them," Mikey said sadly as he took a deep breath, and took a shaky step closer to the edge, he was only inches from the edge now.

"**NO!**" Raph screamed.

Mikey froze, hearing the anguish that lined his brothers cry.

Raph stepped closer to the cliff edge. "If you jump, I'll jump as well."

Mikey's head snapped up, he turned his head and looked into Raph's determined eyes. Mikey knew his brother wasn't making an idle threat. "Why would you do that Raph?

"You're my brother, I don't want to lose you." Rah whispered softly "Please bro, don't do this, don't jump."

Mikey looked down at the river far below and then back up into his brothers ambers eyes. Giving his brother a slight nod of his head and a small smile, Mikey turned his back to the cliffs edge.

Mikey turned to walk away from the cliff's edge, Raph waited warily a few feet away, glad to be away from the edge, watching his baby brother careful encase he should change his mind or something.

In a split second everything changed. Mikey had taken only a few steps when he felt the ground collapse under him. Caught off balance, he staggered backwards as he tried to catch his balance but Mikey quickly realized the worst possible thing was happening.

He was toppling over the edge of the cliff - with thousands of feet of air between him and the rushing waters below him.

Falling through empty space, Mikey twisted desperately, reaching out for something – anything – to grab on to. For one instant he looked down seeing a rocky river lazily whine its way underneath the cliff.

Mikey's body suddenly stop, he hissed in pain as his bad arm was roughly jerked to a stop. Mikey caught his breath and looked upwards into the terrified amber eyes of his brother. Raph's fingers were closed tightly just above Mikey's wrist.

"Hold on, Mikey." Raph said in a strained voice, as he struggled to stop one hundred forty pounds of plunging mass with one arm. It felt as if his shoulder was coming apart. _Man if I feel this bad, I wonder how Mikey is feeling._ Raph felt bad that he grabbed Mikey's bad arm. Raph slipped a little further over the edge.

"You've got to let go, Raph." Mikey begged. "You have to, save yourself Raphie."

"No...Way...Mikey..." Raph grunted, gripping with all his might, nearly crushing his brothers wrist.

"Raph. Let me go." Mikey's distraught eyes showed fear and sadness.

"Give me your other hand, Mikey." Raph ordered, disregarding his brothers pleas.

"Raph!" Mikey yelled, his tears mixing with the sweat that poured down his face. "Let me go. You. Can't. Save. Me." Mikey bit out between clenched teeth.

"Do you want to die, Mikey?" Raph asked softly.

"No." Mikey whispered quietly, "not now but I don't want you to die with me."

Raph felt his hands become clammy and slick with the strain as a cold sweat covered his body. Raph watched with horror as his grip kept sliding on his brothers arm. Then with a final sickening movement Mikey slipped through Raph's grip. Raph watched, frozen with terror, as Mikey's baby blue eye's widen with shock and acceptance as he disappeared over the edge of the cliff. Raph closed his eyes against the last terrifying sight of his baby brothers face. Mikey's scream of terror echoed around him before it slowly faded away.

Raph felt hot tears flow down his cheeks.

First he couldn't do anything for his father… then he failed to save his brother.

How was he going to tell his grief stricken family they lost one more member on the same day. Raph sat on the cool grass to torn up emotional to move from the last spot he saw his brother alive.

"Raph," Mikey hoarsely yelled, fighting for breath in his precarious position. As soon as he felt Raph's grip fail he started searching once again something to stop his deadly plunge. His hands slipped through the loose soil, then miraculously they touched a spiny bush growing from the side of the cliff. He gripped it with every bit of strength he had and held on as the momentum of his fall once again jerk his already sore shoulder hard.

"Raph!" Mikey yelled louder, as best as he could, as he clung to the cliff face for dear life.

Up on top of the cliff Raph couldn't believe his ears, "Mikey?" He called cautiously, "How… Where are you?"

"Down here." Mikey said breathlessly.

"I'm coming, Mikey. Hang on, bro!" Raph yelled back as he carefully crawled forward and peered over the edge of the cliff.

Mikey had found a tiny toehold in the cliff and had started to try and pull himself up to the cliffs edge. Suddenly Mikey froze. The bush he was clinging to, the only thing between him and certain death, was starting to pull loose from the soil.

"RAPH!" Mikey roared in terror.

Mikey gripped the bush tightly and cautiously brushed his feet across the face of the cliff. If he could find a bigger toehold, he could take some weight off his hands. But even such a slight motion caused the bush to slip another heart stopping half inch. _How much longer could its slender roots hold in the rocky soil? How much more strain could they take?_

"Raph?" Mikey called his brother again.

"I'm here, bro," his brother called back from nearby.

"Raph, hurry. This bush is pulling loose!" Mikey yelled back.

Raph looked over the edge of the cliff, his head and shoulders were well over the edge. _Where was Mikey?_

Raph gasped. His youngest brother was almost five feet down, clinging to a gnarled bush that didn't look as if it could support a good-size squirrel, let alone a mutant turtle. Raph reached down for him, but the gap between them was too big. Mikey was staring up at him with terror in his eyes. Down below, a long way down, jagged rocks in a river waited to devour his baby brother.

"Hang on," Raph shouted. "You're okay, just hang on!"

"I'll hang on," Mikey replied. "It's the bush that worries me."

Raph wriggled back from the edge and looked around. The barren ground offered nothing for him to cling to, and if he tried to climb down the cliff, they might both plummet to their deaths together. Raph's hands brushed his belt that held his sai's. Of course. Raph quickly placed his weapons on the ground and undid his belt.

Raph crawled back to the edge of the cliff, "here Mikey catch." He called down to his brother.

Mikey looked up at him wide eyed, he was to terrified to grab the belt that was just out of reach of his hands by a few inches.

"Mikey," Raph barked. "I need you to let go with your left hand and hold on the brush. There's no other option."

"I can't Raphie… my arm is too weak! If I let go, I'll fall." Mikey cried out, tears streaming down his face.

"You can do it Mikey. I know you can." Raph said softly but firmly.

"I'll… try," Mikey panted nervously.

Raph stretched out as far as he dared, trying to make it easier for Mikey to grab the belt, and held his breath as he watched his brother below him. Mikey's left hand released its white knuckled grip on the fragile bush and groped blindly across the face of the cliff, to terrified to look. Just as his fingers found the belt and closed on it, the roots of the bush gave way.

Mikey let out a startled cry and swung sideways, supported only by his grasp on his brother's belt with his left arm.

"Hold on," Raph shouted again. "I've got you." He inched backwards, ignoring the sharp rocks that scraped his arms and thighs, until he was sitting on the ground. He put everything he had into a strong, steady pull as he hoisted his brother to the top of the cliff.

Mikey's feet scrambled at the side of the cliff and he surged upward, clearing the edge and falling heavily across Raph's plastron.

"Oof!" said Raph with a growl. "Next time, watch where you land!"

"Thanks, Raphie" Mikey said gratefully, ignoring his brothers remark.

The brothers struggled there feet. Before Raphie could move, Mikey wrapped his arms around Raph in a tight bear hug as he buried his face against Raph's neck. Raph quickly returned the embrace as he felt hot tears hit his flesh, he gently rubbed soothing circles on his brothers shell as Mikey sobbed on his arm.

"Why Bro? Why didja try this..." Raph whispered, tears falling down his cheeks, landing on top of Mikey who was curled in his arms.

"I...I want to tell you..." Mikey choked out, looking up at Raph, eyes filling with remorse and fear.

Raph frowned, confused about the fear he could see in Mikey's eyes, "Ya gotta talk to me bro...tell me what's in tha' head of yours...it's hurtin' you."

Mikey tensed up, shaking his head 'no' in fear, quaking under Raph's arms, "but he'll kill you too," he whispered.

"Who Mike?...wha' tha shell happened? Mikey ya gotta talk ta us, we can't help ya...but ya need it...tell me bro...please!" Raph begged his little brother, wiping the tears that dripped down Mikey's pale face.

Mikey stared at him, confusion and heartache flashing in his eyes, before he took a deep breathe, "I...I'll tell Raphie...I need to tell..." but was silent for a moment.

A small blue orb soon came into the field towards them, and Mikey's breathing increased, as he struggled to scramble away, "Don't asnwer it, please don't answer it!" he begged, remembering the last time he saw one. He trembled as Raph glanced at him concerned, touching the orb.


	17. Aftermath

Chapter 18

Raph saw the orb flicker, turning on, the Daimyo's voice echoing from within, "Raphael, I see you have found Michelangelo, do you require any assistance in returning?"

Raph glanced down at his shaking brother, who seemed to be extremely pale. "Yes Daimyo...are you able to send us back?"

"I can send a team to come and get you...I do not think it will be safe to transport Michelangelo in such a state...I will be sure to have Healer Ariiliya amongst the team that goes to you. Are you safe for the moment?" the Daimyo asked.

Raph frowned, Mikey wasn't really reacting, just shaking, staring at the orb with a mix of fear and terror. "We are Daimyo...tell my bros we'll be there soon. Thanks," and watching the orb as it disappeared in a small puff of smoke.

He reached over gently, planning to calm Mikey but he flinched violently at the gesture, scuttling backwards, whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," over and over again.

Raph was perplexed and frightened. _What caused this? _"Mikey, ya gotta talk ta me!" he said sternly, before softening his voice, seeing how Mikey tensed up even more.

"Mikey...please...bro...look at me...ya can't go silent now...what happ'ned?" Raph asked, his eyes wide with a new type of unease. _He's terrified...jist like when he tole about bunny boy...but he's in jail...ain't he?_

"Mikey...are ya scared 'bout what ya tried ta do?" He asked, trying to narrow down what was wrong.

Mikey shook his head, 'No', still curled up, the small scrapes and marks along his face seem to be growing darker. Raph winced as he caught the heavy bruising and scrapes lining Mikey's body from hitting the rock wall.

"Does it have to do wit Splinter dyin'?" he asked, his stomach rolling as he recalled his father's death.

Mikey let out a choked cry, curling into himself some more, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking, raspy.

Raph moved forward a little, ignoring Mikey's tensing body and touched his cheek, holding it even as Mikey flinched backwards.

"Mike...wha' are ya sorry about?" he said firmly, "Tell me, I gotta know!"

"I gotta go...I gotta get away...he's after you...he already got dad...I ...I can't...I..." Mikey stammered out, his blue eyes wide with fear, terror and haunting pain, "I'll go back...if I go back, then it'll stop...he won't hurt you..." he whispered, his whole body trembling violently.

Raph fought the anger burning deep inside, realizing in an instance, what Mikey was terrified of...it was _**who**_ he was terrified of.

"Mike...did Usagi contact you?" he asked firmly, trying to catch Mikey's eyes but he kept trying to move away.

Mikey whimpered, "...I...I gotta stop it...Raphie...I gotta stop it...he killed dad, he'll kill you...please! Don't you understand? I have to stop him..."

Raph growled, the pitch deep in his throat thickened, as the anger burned, and he shook Mikey, trying to get him to focus, "DID USAGI CONTACT YOU?"

Mikey's eyes widened at the fear, Raph's anger pooling into him, he gasped in shock.

"YES! YES! He sent me an orb thingie...he said... see Raph...don't you understand! If I'm gone, then he can't hurt you...I should've killed myse-" trying to get him to understand, but Raph's anger burned even higher, his amber eyes burning with a rage even Mikey couldn't help control.

Mikey cried out as Raph's pain, terror, love and anger flowed into him, almost burning him, overwhelming his very core.

Mikey flinched violently, struggling to pull away as Raph screamed "DON'T YA EVA SAY THA! YA THINK KILLIN YASELF DON'T MATTER! IT MATTERS!" Raph roared out.

He cringed, pushing Raph away, panting, his body aching, as he scrambled away. T_he emotions were too much, and he couldn't concentrate, he was in too much pain, mentally, physically...too many thoughts in his head. All he knew was it needed to stop..._

Raph stood up, staggering too his feet, pacing, his voice raging out, "-don't think we matter? We don't got no choice? Dammit Mike, ya don't even know how much ya mean ta us! Bunny Boy has ya fucked up! He can't hurt us, or you! He didn't even kill Splinter! He was already dying, ya got tha'?" Raph said, storming over to him, standing above him.

"He killed him...he did...I know he did Raphie...I gotta keep you safe...you don't know what he can do Raph...he can make ya see things...feel things...those pouches he carried...powders...magic words...they combine..." Mikey said, his voice small, bleak, sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

"Wha' do they do?" Raph asked gently, struggling to calm the anger he was feeling towards Mikey, but knew it was a lost cause. He watched as Mikey gasped, tears shimmering in his eyes.

"They control...he...he was already making you do stuff...he was showing me...how easy it was...how one night...he lifted the magic...let me remember," Mikey said slowly, his body sagging tiredly on the ground.

Raph walked over, gently reaching out to him, letting Mikey latch on, knowing he needed to be held, "Wha' happened Mike...ya can tell me..." he said softly.

Raph watched his little brother, he was struggling to speak, to say outloud the horrors he went through, to explain and share. It was a big step for him and so Raph was patient.

Mikey inhaled slowly, biting his lip as a tear slipped from his face, "Ya remember... when you and Leo.. and even Donnie started fighting..everyone thought it was weird and stupid...but you just forgot...?"

"Yeah...ya mean that was bunny boy?" Raph said, hatred in his voice.

"He...he made you forget...but...I didn't..." Mikey whispered.

"Forget what Mike?" Raph said seriously, totally focussed on Mike now. _There were some gaps in their memories, something that was missing that they couldn't remember...it scared them..._

"He...he made...me..." Mikey whispered, shame all over his face as he shuddered in Raph's embrace, "He made me sit...in front of you...tell you all what he did..." and the tears fell, "you were all so angry...so mad...but then he made you forget...and he froze you...it hurt so much...when you didn't help me...but it went back to normal...and then he made me forget..."

Raph was horrified and repulsed, realizing just what Usagi did. _He gave Mikey slim hope before tearing it away in an instance...No wonder Mikey was terrified and didn't believe them.. That bunny was seriously going to fuckin' die now...and he was going to do the honours_. He almost didn't hear Mikey's pleading words and his eyes focussed back on him.

"What Mike?" he said, struggling to rein in the anger that he wanted to express.

"Please don't tell Raphie...please...he knows! He's watching me...he is!" Mikey whispered, scared, "He's watching me...he found me Raph! He sent an orb...it said..One down...three to go.." and he shivered again, "Don't you see...if...if I go back...If I drop the charges...then he'll stop."

"But it won't stop if he has you...Mikey don't you see...if you think that droppin' tha charges are gonna make 'im stop, it ain't. He knows we're gonna kill 'im. That's a promise.." Raph said sternly, "and he's gonna threaten you with us...to get his way. The only way to stop him, is to do what you're doing now."

It was silent for a few minutes, the wind blowing gently through the air, their bodies cooling slightly as the sky dimmed slightly.

"I'm his...Raphie...he said I was his...I'm not. Right?" Mikey asked, his voice childlike and sad, looking up at Raph, pleading for the right answer.

"No Mike. You ain't his. You ain't never gonna be his. You belong ta you, and you belong in our family...no one gonna change tha'" Raph said gently, wiping the tears from Mikey's eyes.

Mikey sighed, his heart grasping the words, "Raphie?"

"Yeah bro?" Raph answered.

"I'm tired...I'm tired of being weak...I...I'm just tired," Mikey whispered sadly, his eyes closing as he curled into Raph's arms.

Raph reached out, holding his little brother, "Jist rest Mikey, I got you..."

Mikey nodded, his body just relaxing as he cuddled against Raph, his eyes closing in exhaustion in pain. Raph held him, waiting for the Daimyo's team to come and get them.

* * *

It was quiet back in the room, Leo was on the chair beside Splinter's bed, staring at the body of his father, shocked and his heart aching. He didn't know what to think, to even do.

He was lost in thought as he heard his name being called, and he turned his head, seeing his younger brother Donatello. He frowned, shaking it, trying to clear his head as he stared at Donnie.

Donnie opened his mouth again, saying his name, and Leo frowned, blinking blankly, wondering why he couldn't focus.

Suddenly, something cold touched the back of his neck and he jumped high, whipping around to face Don, his hand coming up to touch the cold wetness still on his neck. "DON! What did you do that for?" he said, his eyes narrowing.

Don flinched when he spoke, making him frown, but Leo stood there, waiting for an answer.

Don replied, "I needed your attention Leo...we...we really need to talk with Raph...the Daimyo just came back with a message..."

Leo frowned, his eyes widening with concern as he glanced around, realizing it was just him and Don who remained behind, "Where is Raph and Mikey?" as he glanced around.

Don sighed, "Mikey...ran off when dad d...died," he said, his voice breaking slightly, tears filling his eyes. Leo stepped forward, touching Don's arm in comfort, giving him a gentle hug, his own tears filling his eyes.

_He felt like a jerk, his own brothers were going through so much, and he hadn't been the brother he needed to be_. He ignored his brothers, and the guilt filled his heart, and he whispered to Don, "I'm sorry Donnie...I...I just forgot about you guys...when Splinter died...I...I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice filled with guilt.

Don shook his head, glaring slightly, his own eyes filled with sadness, "Stop it Leo... don't feel guilty about grieving! We...we all deal with our grief in our own way..."

Leo bit his lip, knowing he needed to help his brothers first. He could deal with his grief later, when he had time. "Donnie, what were you trying to tell me earlier?" he asked gently.

Don wiped his eyes, erasing the tear stains on his cheeks as he responded, "Um, Mikey ran off...he was pretty upset when dad...died..." he explained, "I sent Raph after him...but he wasn't in any shape to come back. Raph sent a message he needed the Daimyo's help getting Mikey home."

"Did Raph send us anything about what happened to Mikey?" Leo asked concerned, his eyes crinkled slightly in thought.

Don shook his head, starting to pace slightly, "No, but the Daimyo said he was sending Healer Ariiliya to go with the team picking them up...and they'll be brought here."

"Ariiliya? Why is she going? Is Mikey hurt bad?" Leo said, his heart spiking in fear and worry, wishing once again that there was a clock so he could tell if they would be here soon or not, his attention once again on Don, "Will they be here soon?"

Don shrugged, "I think they will be here within the next twenty minutes, apparently Mikey ran pretty far."

Leo glanced back at Splinter, his eyes shimmering with sadness and guilt, unsure of what to do next, "What about father?"

Don's head turned slowly, his face filling with sadness, "We...we have to make plans...to arrange a burial...somewhere..."

"He would want us to bring him to Japan...to be buried with his Master... to be home..." Leo said sadly.

"What about burying him up at the farm...where we can visit him..." Don said softly, sorrow filled his voice.

Leo closed his eyes slowly, as if he was in pain, "You're right..." he said, opening them again as he walked over to where Splinter lay, his hand shaking gently as he grabbed the blanket, slowly covering Splinter's body, a small whispered, "Father, we shall honor your wishes...but right now...we need to help each other..."

Leo slowly got back up, asking a nearby Healer, "Make sure no one can come in and disturbs the room please."

The Healer nodded and both Don and Leo left the room, on a mission to find out what happened when Mikey ran away. They saw Raph stepping out of a room, sliding down against the wall of the room, succumbing to tears.

Leo's mind was in a panic, rushing over, his voice crying out, "Raph! What happened?"

Leo quickly knelt down beside him, his hands reaching out to connect with him, when suddenly Raph pushed him away, anger burning from his eyes as he said brokenly, "I CAN'T KEEP DOIN' YUR JOB LEO!"

Leo fell back slightly, eyes wide in shock, whispering, "Raph, what happened?" getting back up, and moving closer, placing a hand on Raph's arm.

Raph shook his head, eyes filling with tears as he tried to angrily wipe them away, hiding his face as he cried.

Leo frowned, biting his lip, before glancing at Don to check on Mikey, while he helped Raph. "Raph, please, talk to me, something big must have happened...tell me..."

* * *

Raph's POV

Raph shook his head, eyes flashing as he tried to comprehend what happened in the last few hours. _He was drained, mentally, physically and emotionally. He saw Leo's earnest eyes, just wanting to help him, but all he wanted to do was lash out, scream, beat something but he couldn't. He had to restrain himself. _

_His anger flared with his pain, echoing inside him, building up in intensity as he tried to overcome the pain he was suppressing. _

"Raph, tell me what happened, I can help," he heard Leo said sternly, his voice in that usual crazy leader voice that he rarely listened to sometimes. He felt the anger build up, and his fists clenched as Leo kept talking. He couldn't hear him, he wanted to swear, to curse and to hit something.

"Raph, just talk to me. Nothing can get worse..." Leo started to say, and Raph had enough. He lashed out, his fist flying angrily as he came into contact with Leo's jaw.

"Worse! It is worse Leo! I can't do your fuckin' job! Mikey needs all of us..an..and..." and his voice wavered as he felt the anger drain as he looked down at Leo. He was holding his jaw, looking shocked at him, "I...I'm tired...and frustrated... Leo... Mike...he-" _He didn't want to talk, to explain. He didn't know what to say_.

Suddenly, he heard a loud piercing scream of sheer terror and a crash coming from within the room, his mind on one thought, 'Mikey'.

Raph didn't know how fast he moved, it was just a second before he was in that room, eyes widened as he saw a familiar figure standing in the corner, a smile on his face.

He didn't know how much rage, anger and grief that he was feeling in that moment, but all he knew was that bunny-boy was dead.

Raph growled as his Sai's were out and flying toward the smiling Usagi and flying right through him. Confused, he moved forward and his reached out and touched Usagi, surprised as his hand went right through him. "What da fuck?"

His eyes darted around the room, looking for Mikey but Mikey wasn`t there. He could hear Donnie`s voice in the bathroom, urgent and panicked and he ran inside.

Raph saw Mikey on the ground, hyperventilating, eyes wide in shock, Healer Ariiliya nearby, her voice calming Mikey as well. He saw Don counting, helping Mikey remember his breathing exercises, and stepped back out.

"What the Hell happened?" he barked out, his voice raspy from the sudden change of running, crying and yelling a moment earlier, "How da Hell did Bunny Boy git 'ere?"

Don spoke up, one hand still patting Mikey's back in a calming thumping sequence to help Mikey's breathing, "It's not him. That was an orb, someone activated it inside... and it showed a hologram, nothing more."

"So it's not real?" Leo asked, still eyeing the hologram as it stayed in place in the corner of the room.

Raph's eyes travelled to Mikey's figure, and felt weighted down, "Leo, we got to get away...now...bunny boy...this ain't tha first time...but we need ta go home, or North Hamptoms...or sumthing...Mikey's gonna crack if he stays here."

* * *

Leo's POV

Leo sighed, rubbing his face as he watched the image of Usagi finally flicker away after some difficulties, "You're right...I know you are...let's...let's bring Splinter home..."

"NO!" Mikey cried out, eyes wide with fear, "NO! I don't wanna go home! I..I can't go back there!" he cried out, his body shivering in remembrance.

"No Mike...we didn't mean back to the sewers...we were thinking the farm...that sounds nice, right?" Leo said calmly, crouching down in front of Mikey. He frowned as his eyes caught the dark bruises and scratches on Mikey's body.

Mikey was clearly scared, his body still trembling and he shut his eyes tightly.

"Mikey, listen to me, it's going to be okay. The farm is nice, and quiet. You will be safe there," Leo said softly.

"Not safe Leo...never safe... he's gonna kill you..." Mikey said, still trembling.

Leo's mouth set in a grim, but determined line, pushing Mikey's jaw up, making him look at him in the eyes, "I swear Mikey. I will not let Usagi hurt you again! I promise!"

Mikey's eyes glistened as tears built up, flashing with many emotions. Leo wished he could identify each one, help his brother. He kept his emotions to himself, knowing Mikey could sense them. "Mikey, I promise, I swear to you. We will protect you."

Mikey's eyes flashed doubt and it hurt. It felt like he was stabbed through the heart when he saw that doubt. "Let's go to the farm...what is your favorite thing to do there?" he asked, trying the distraction trick that always worked when Mikey was younger.

Leo watched as Mikey's eyes crinkled in thought, his body slumping slightly, tired. "Cooking marshmallows?" he said meekly, looking a little scared to speak.

"Then we will cook marshmallows every night...I promise," Leo said, pulling a smile on his face, despite feeling anger, pain and grief. He reached out, pulling Mikey into his arms, feeling him tensing slightly, before relaxing. A few minutes later, he felt Mikey slump down even more, and he looked down, seeing he had fallen asleep.

"Raph, can you help me lift him?" he asked gently, looking up at him.

Raph sighed, "Sure Leo," he said gruffly, wincing as he helped Leo lift Mikey up, moving him to the nearby bed.

They were silent for a few minutes, gathered around Mikey, who slept on the bed. "Raph...we you treated? You look like you got hurt too..." Leo said, his eyes flashing in concern.

Raph shook his head, "I'm wrung out, but I'm not hurt...I pulled my shoulder when I had to pull Mikey up," he explained.

Don broke in, "Pulled Mikey up from what?"

"He...there...there is something you need to know..." and Raph told them what happened, and the message Usagi sent Mikey.

They were silent again, taking in the story of Mikey's attempted suicide, the danger, how fragile his mind set was. Leo sighed, his head pounding in pain, as he say back, unsure of what to do next.

"Ariiliya said that his shoulder was injured again, and that it would take longer to heal... we need to go home.. Mikey needs stability and to understand that we can help him this time," Don said quietly.

"But...doesn't he need the healers here?" Leo asked curious.

"No. Ariiliya has done everything they can, and Mikey has learned enough about watching his emotions and his shield is quite strong, so it's not over whelming him anymore," Don explained.

"Then we'll go home...Raph...he's seems most calm with you around, are you willing to share a room with him?" Don asked.

Leo watched as Raph stiffened slightly, "Of course I am willin'. Ya gotta ask me tha'?"

Don shrank back at Raph's angry gaze but Leo stood up, "Guys, look...it's been a stressful day, and we're all still in shock and with so much going on, we aren't focussing much on anything. We will bring Splinter home to bury, and we will stay at the farm to give Mikey a chance to heal, okay?" he asked his brothers.

Both Don and Raph nodded their heads and sat back down. "I'm gunna get some sleep...I...I need to think..." he said quietly, stumbling off.

"I'll stay here with Mikey Leo, you go talk with the Daimyo, and make sure everything goes alright," Don said gently, "He should sleep for awhile."

Leo nodded, a yawn escaping him, suddenly exhausted and mentally drained, "You're right...I'll be back in a bit, one of us must stay with Mikey at all times."

Don nodded, and Leo left to make plans for his father's funeral.


	18. Memories

**WARNING! Contains Some Mature Scenes! You were Warned!**

* * *

Chapter 18

Mikey wasn't allowed to get up. Ariiliya told him that he had to stay in his room until one of his brothers returned. He was getting anxious and his feelings were hurt. _What if they forgot about me? What if they don't want me? All I do is call problems...how come I can't help with Splinter? I...I'm one of his sons too..._

He was getting really anxious as the minutes ticked by. Ariiliya was telling him to calm down, but he couldn't. He was feeling trapped and anxious, his hands waving back and forth as he paced, looking like they were trembling badly but he was doing it.

"Calm Michelangelo," Ariiliya said firmly, "You must calm. They promise to return but they needed to arrange transportation and you are unable to deal with the stress of so many people around."

Mikey growled, hearing it again wasn't helping him, it was making him angry. _Why aren't I even helping? Am I not good enough?_ Mikey stilled, a thought filling him, _Maybe I'm too dirty to help...it might defile Father's spirit...I can't do that...I'm dirty...disgusting..._

Mikey was silent as he walked to the bathroom, and started washing his hands again, scrubbing them hard as he recalled images in his mind. He shivered as he felt Ariiliya's hand on his arm, telling him to stop. _NO! I don't want to stop! I don't want to...I need to get clean...father wants me clean..._

"Michelangelo, I know you are feeling anxious, but must stop, they are clean enough," she said sternly, shutting off the water.

"I'm not clean," Mikey said simply, his eyes haunted as he pushed past her, walking to his room, and grabbing a towel. "I'm taking a shower."

* * *

Ariiliya's POV

Ariiliya sighed sadly; "If you must but no scrubbing hard enough to harm yourself!" she said sternly, his eyes flashing in concern. Michelangelo was slipping from her, from all of them. She could see him falling and she didn't know how to help him. She couldn't even sense his emotions anymore.

_Maybe I can discover why Michelangelo calms so much with Raphael around...it is an unusual bond between them..._ she thought as she heard the shower turn on. She felt a flicker of concern when she heard a muttered curse within but refrained herself from interfering.

_They need to get some help...Michelangelo needs to understand he is no longer in danger. All orbs are re-directed to the Daimyo is they are in the vicinity of any of the turtles, which was the reason they had to go to the Palace...but we need to find a way to get Mikey to open up...he's on the threshold.._

She pulled her head up, hearing the other turtles return, sensing their depressive moods and sighed deeply. _They are so young to have to deal with such matters. This is something they should never had to deal with._

"Raphael, I must speak with you," she called to the red banded turtle that came in looking exhausted. _Maybe now is not the time...but I must understand this before they leave!_

"Yeah Ariiliya?" Raph said, coming into the room, flopping into a nearby chair, glancing around the room, his brothers following his example, sitting nearby. His brow furrowed in concern, "Where's Mikey?"

His two brothers looked up at the same time at the question, and frowned, their own eyes glancing around nervously.

She smiled, knowing they would notice, "He is taking a shower," she explained.

"Again? Geez, tha' like tha fifth one today..." Raph commented, concerned, "Did sumthin happen?"

She paused, before shaking her head slowly, "Nothing happened but he seemed quite distressed at waking up with me here. I do not think this would help with his healing..." she said gently.

"Whattya mean by distress?" Raph interrupted quickly, waving his right hand up, then down, cutting her off.

"He was pacing quite quickly as well as his hands shaking in nervousness. I know it was worse on his injured side, but I believe his distress in manifesting outwardly. He also attempted to scrub his hands until they were raw and red, and it took me a moment to break him out of it," Ariiliya explained the sequence of events.

"Why was Mikey upset? Did he say anything to you about it?" Don asked, concerned, "We did tell him where we were going and when we would be back. I thought that was all he needed..."

Ariiliya sighed, shaking her head slowly, "I believe Michelangelo needs structure and routine, as well as including in family matters. Today he may have seen that in something so important, the passing of your father, that he may not be worthy of even attending."

"That's ridiculous," Leo said passionately, "Master Splinter loved all of us and especially Mikey! He was his baby. He doesn't need the stress of planning, we don't want to set him back, that's all."

She nodded her head, "And I agree Michelangelo should not be included in that meeting today. Today's long meeting and having to concentrate for so long with so many people around, would cause a setback..." she trailed off for a moment.

"I hear a 'but' in there, so ya might as well say it," Raph said, a scowl forming on his face.

She inhaled deeply, before she nodded her head. "Very well...I believe that him not being included in such an important decision may make him believe that he wasn't included because he believes he isn't pure...that he isn't clean enough."

"That's bullshit!" Raph said angrily, rage burning through him, "He ain't tha' stupid Ariiliya! He don't believe we t'ink that!" he said jumping up, about to storm into the shower to yell at his brother.

Ariiliya jumped up, blocking Raph's advance, "Raphael, you will stop and listen to me! You're brother hasn't even quite understood your father's passing, as well as his life being threatened. His mind is confused and hurting! Going in there in a rage will not help him!" she warned.

"Well, whattya expect me ta do then?" Raph said, his fists tensing.

"I want you to explain to me this bond you have with him! If I can figure out what it is, then that can help bond with Leonardo and Donatello. He needs support, not just from you, but from all of you," she explained, relaxing as Raph sat back down reluctantly.

Donnie spoke up, "What bond are you talking about Ariiliya? You mentioned it before, several times...the first of when you first found the magic in Mikey...when we first met you."

Leo nodded, "Yes, Master Splinter always said Mikey had a strong bond with Raph, but he wasn't sure why."

She nodded, "Yes, this bond is extremely strong and I can sense it goes both ways. Raphael is calmer, more focussed and has great control on his emotions around him, which helps balance Michelangelo."

"So how do we mimic it?" Don asked, curiosity filling his eyes.

She turned to Raph, "May I have your permission to examine you Raphael? I have searched within Michelangelo and found a strong bond tied to you but for me to truly understand, I must connect with you."

Raph looked uncomfortable, his eyes shifting away, as he fidgeted on the chair, "I don't know, what ya gotta do?"

Ariiliya smiled gently, "I am just going to examine your spirit and health...from this, I will be able to identify the bond you have with him."

He frowned again, shifting in the chair before sighing, "A'right, but make it snappy, I don't like this magic crap."

She chuckled at the words and nodded her head, closing her eyes. They watched as she was bathed in a faded light, before seeing it stretch outwards, enveloping around Raph.

He watched, his eyes wide with slight fear and shuddered as he was surrounded. He felt his arms and legs tingle, like little bugs were crawling and he gasped, "Ahhh, get tha' shit offa me!" he jumped up, sliding beside Leo.

Leo chuckled, "It's okay Raph, you're fine."

Ariiliya opened her eyes, the strange light fading away and she smiled, "I apologize, I didn't know you were that sensitive to probing. I should have told you."

Don asked, "Probing? What exactly were you doing?" leaning forward curiously.

"Just probing a little, examining why I was sensing that particular tie but I have figured out why they are so close," she said quietly, a smile growing on her face.

"So why are they so close?" Leo asked, eyes lighting up for answers.

"Let me show you….if Raphael agrees," she replied, a sparkle in her eyes.

Raph frowned, "Sure, that's okay," he said shrugging.

She smiled, waving her hands slightly, before an orb expanded into a large ball the size of beach ball, images started forming within, "This is from Raphael's viewpoint…memories…from when he was born…"

_**Warm light filtered through the water world of the over-sized turtle egg. Awareness filtered into the baby turtle's mind. His once comfortable home was too cramped, he couldn't move and it was becoming harder to breathe. He kept moving, but he couldn't move anymore. **_

_**He was pressed against the small world, anxiety building as he shifted, feeling something pressing against him, his little heart beat rapidly as he gazed around. **_

_**The world was slightly darker, the egg warm but it was small….too small…his arms and legs….they were too big…he was too big….**_

_**In a panic and out of instinct the turtle reached out to touch the smooth inner walls of the egg. He pushed against the egg wall and felt it give a little. **_

_**Encouraged and anxious, the turtle pushed harder against the wall, and fell forward slightly as a loud crack seem to echo, and then a ripping sound echoed through the amniotic fluid as he felt the warm water moving away, slowly leaking from the large crack he had make in the leathery shell that surrounded him. **_

_**Shoving harder the turtle pushed himself into the blinding light, his mouth gulping in the warm air around him, chirping slightly as he spat out the water he was in….**_

_**Blinking quickly against the light of this brilliant new world that he had entered, the baby turtle looked around in a wonder filled daze.**_

_**A loud chirp behind him drew his attention back to the broken egg. A second turtle had spilled from the broken egg and landed on its carapace. **_

_**The second young turtle voiced his distress as he tried to right himself but couldn't managed to roll himself over. **_

_**The first turtle waddled back over to his companion to help turn him over when a movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. **_

_**Turning quickly he saw a third turtle, bigger than himself ambling towards them. The new hatchling could see a forth turtle behind the third turtle gazing through a glass barrier curiously, two other eggs broken open lay nearby.  
**_

_**The third turtle moved towards the distressed turtle but the first hatchling wasn't having a stranger near his companion. **_

_**With a loud hiss and a vicious snap of his jaws the turtle placed himself in front of the bigger, older turtle. The older turtle ignored the defensive, angry display and kept moving towards the distressed hatchling. **_

_**Raged filled the first newly hatched turtle and with a low growl and an angry hiss he snapped at the throat of the pushy older turtle.**_

_**The taste of warm, coppery blood filled his mouth. The older turtle hissed in pain and stumbled backwards, blood trickling from the gash at the base of his throat.**_

"Hey….that would explain that scar on your throat Leo! Remember Master Splinter thought it was from the fall when we mutated? Raph caused it right there!" Donnie said with a smile, eyes fascinated, "Hey, that's mean I was right! You were attacked by an animal when we were hatchlings!"

Leo scowled, "Well, it looks like even as a hatchling, Raphael was difficult."

Raph grinned, "I got ya though, didn't I!"

"Hush up and watch," Leo said smiling.

_**The older turtle let out an angry chirp leveling dark, angry brown eyes at the first turtle. The first turtle snapped his jaws again as he fiercely protected his egg mate from whatever it was the older turtle wanted.**_

_**Again the older turtle advanced trying to get past the first turtle, but the first turtle lunged at the older turtle, snapping his sharp beak at the older turtle's throat again. **_

_**The older turtle deftly avoided his snapping beak as he used a front leg to bat at the first turtle's head. The older turtle's cuff to the head was not painful, more like a light tap that just infuriated the younger hatchling even more. **_

_**The younger turtle charged the older one knocking the older turtle over. The older turtle landed on his side but quickly righted himself and led his own charge against the aggressive younger turtle. **_

_**This time the older turtle hit the younger turtle in the head with as much force as he was able too, trying to make the younger turtle back down. But his attack merely inflamed the temper of the younger turtle even more.**_

_**Jaws snapping the younger turtle angrily tried to flip the older turtle on his back. Using all his strength he managed to tip the older turtle onto his back, but the momentum was too much and the older turtle rocked flipping back over again.**_

_**The younger turtle hissed in frustration as he relentlessly attacked the older turtle over and over again. **_

_**There was a distressed chirp that cut through the younger turtle's rage. The younger turtle turned his head to see his egg mate, and in his distraction, was struck in the side of the face by the older turtle. **_

_**The younger turtle shook his head, fear filling him as he looked to where his companion chirped again, the sound filled with fear, until the fourth turtle helped to flip the first turtle's companion over. **_

_**The smaller turtle chirped at his egg companion, relaxing instantly as they butted heads gently. **_

_**The older turtle looked at him with a smug glare as the first turtle ambled over to his companion in relief and to make sure he was not injured. **_

_**The smaller turtle chirped again, waddling around the ground, his head darting everywhere as the other turtles gathered around, chirping to eachother. **_

777777777777777777777777

"These images are from you Raphael, hidden in your memories." she explained, her voice soft.

"Wow..." he said, awed and he smiled in pleasure. _He really was Mikey's only true brother...but we're all brothers...now wha'? _

Raph glanced up, a beaming smile growing on his face, "He's so small...heh, get to call him squirt!"

Don's head turned towards him, a grin on his face, "Do we have all these memories?"

Ariiliya smiled gently, nodding her head as she froze the image of Raphael and Michelangelo butting heads gently, nuzzling eachother. "Yes Donatello, you do. You need to access your memories somehow. I understand you meditate, that may be an avenue you should consider."

Leonardo's eyes smiled slightly, a sad tone to his voice, "Master Splinter said that we can remember anything if we really tried. Achieve something that is hard but not impossible."

Raph nodded, before he turned to Arilliya, "So wha' tis gotta do wit Mikey? Wha' we gonna do wit this?"

Ariiliya sighed, the image flickered once before she closed her eyes, an image of Michelangelo after the last Battle Nexxus Championship. He looked bright, smiling and animated. A sparkle and laughter was in his eyes, innocence flowed deep within, and a confidence that was no longer there.

"This is what we hope to achieve...bring this Michelangelo back...the more we understand your bond...the more we can explore how we can help Michelangelo..." she replied with a smile, "he's there...he's somewhere inside...we just need to draw him out."

Don sighed, "You think these memories might help us with Mikey?"

"I don't know..." she whispered back, "I just know that if we need to help him soon."

"Will Mikey ever lose tha' haunted look in his eyes?" Raph asked hopefully, glancing over at her, before his eyes darted over to Mikey's door.

"No...those...those eyes will always be there...these memories will never leave him...but he can learn, just like all of you, to live again and fight another day," she said before she stood up, her dress flowing slightly as she started for the door, but she paused the moment before, "I am going now...but I shall check on Michelangelo later on."

"Wha' we gonna do Leo? How we gonna fix tis?" Raph asked, turning to their new head leader, and elder brother.

"I...I don't know," Leo responded, looking lost and flaring with sadness.

* * *

Don POV

Later that night, after Ariiliya left, Donnie peeked inside Mikey's room after hearing Mikey leave his shower, but not emerge from his room.

He sighed as he saw Mikey's skin had been scrubbed raw but clean and he was asleep on his bed. He told his brothers what he saw, his voice filled with sorrow.

Don sighed as he wrote in his journal.

_**Today was extremely hard. We had a meeting with the Daimyo about our father's passing and I...I was lost. It's not normal to say I was lost. Me. The smart one...I can't seem to get it together. Mikey needs so much help! I wish we never met Usagi. None of this wouldn't happen! **_

_**Why Mikey! **_

_**That's a stupid question. I already know the answer. As sick as it is, Usagi targeted Mikey because of his innocence. It's the one thing I read about before when I learned about those people. They liked seeing that innocence gone. Disappear. **_

_**Usagi succeeded. That sparkle that was in Mikey's eyes...it's gone. Then father dying. We're all still in some short of shock or something. Raph's pissed off but he's quiet. I don't really know what to do with that. **_

_**It's a little scary, seeing Raph not being Raph. He's quiet now, contemplative. He watches Mikey like a hawk. Treats Mikey like he's fragile. It hurts seeing the guilt in Raph's eyes. I know he feels guilty. We all do. **_

_**We couldn't help Mikey. **_

_**Usagi destroyed our family, by destroying Mikey...**_

_**Leo is wavering lately. He has no one to fall back on, and it hurts he doesn't trust us to help him either. He cries at night for Splinter. I can hear him, but when I try to go help him, he pushes me away, saying he has to be strong now. **_

_**I'm so tired. I'm tired all the time, of trying to find answers to questions that are impossible to answer. **_

_**Mikey is like a haunted shell. He sleeps all the time, barely eats and is losing weight. Now we have to watch him in the shower and when he's washing his hands. His skin...his skin is almost always slightly red. He scrubs it so hard! **_

_**It's like he's trying to be clean again. He's not dirty! He's not. No matter how many times we try to tell him that, he says he feels it. I don't get it!**_

_**I don't. **_

_**I miss father so much. I wish he was here. I wish he was holding us close, comforting us. I wish Mikey would open up. I wish Raph would be his usual growly and angry self. I wish Leo would try to stop being so strong and accept his brother's help. **_

_**I wish I can fix everything. **_

_**But I'm a failure...**_

_**I feel stupid and useless. **_

_**I couldn't help Mikey. I should have seen the signs. I should have seen something!**_

_**Why didn't my cameras notice anything! Why didn't I see the signs! Mikey told me he felt hurt. He told me he was hurting. But I couldn't see it!**_

_**And Splinter...I saw he was getting tired. I saw how he would lag slightly, or stop for a second like he was trying to get enough energy. I saw him dizzy. **_

_**Me, the smart one, is now the stupid one. **_

_**Can't help anyone**_

_**Can't help Mikey, **_

_**Can't help Raph or Leo, **_

_**Couldn't save Splinter. **_

_**What good am I?**_

Don sighed as he put his pen down; glancing up as Mikey hesitantly stepped out of his room, looking wary about approaching his family.

Don was about to speak when he saw Raph glance up, seeing him smile as he saw Mikey, and jump up. He watched curiously as Raph approached Mikey slowly, but confidently, "Hey Mike, 'bout time ya got up! Ya hungry?"

Mikey bit his lip, shaking his head as he took another step out of the room, frowning as he glanced around at them. Don frowned in response, wondering why Mikey was watching them warily. His eyes strayed to Raph, who seem to gesture something with his hands, and his eyes widen a fraction when he recognized the sign, 'Shield'.

_Crap, our shields, he can feel our emotions. _Don glanced to Leo who nodded, a steely look in his eyes as he brought up their own personal shields they developed. Don watched as Mikey's shoulders relaxed slightly, but look a little sadder as he glanced at them.

"Mikey, what's wrong?" Don asked gently, as Raph cajoled Mikey into a nearby chair.

Mikey just shook his head as he sat down, looking anxiously at them.

Don sighed, hating when Mikey shut down. Leo suddenly spoke up, "Mikey," causing them all to look at him, but Leo was staring at Mikey.

Don frowned as he saw Mikey tense, "Y...yes..?" he whispered, looking up at Leo.

Leo walked over, sitting across from Mikey on another chair, and said, "We need to talk to you about Splinter's burial," he said gently.

Mikey shook his head rapidly, "NO!" he stated simply, "No, I don't want to!" and he jumped up, looking confused and panicked.

Raph, who had been sitting beside Mikey, jumped up and grabbed Mikey's arm, who shrieked at the touch before he relaxed at seeing it was Raph.

Don was getting very concerned at Mikey's actions, and bit his lip, "Mikey, I know you are scared but we want you to be involved. He was your father too, you have a say in what we are planning to do."

Mikey shook his head, "I...I don't want to go...please...just a small burial...just us...no one else...please..." he said faltering, his small body shaking slightly.

Don frowned, his eyes watching Mikey's breathing, seeing how fast pace it was. "Calm down Mikey, it's okay. Just breathe slowly," he said gently, waving for him to sit back down.

Mikey frowned, but sat down, concentrating on breathing deeply.

Raph spoke up, "Ya don't want even April or Casey ta be wit us? Or even the Ancient One? Don't ya t'ink they should be there?"

Mikey shook his head rapidly, his green skin paling slightly, his eyes widen as if he was about to have a panic attack, and Don frowned as Leo moved closer to Mikey, touching his arm.

Mikey shrieked as if he was being burnt, his eyes wide as he stared at Leo, but they were glazed, as if he was seeing someone else.

Don cursed as he realized Mikey was having a full blown panic attack combined with a flashback. He jumped up, waving his brothers back, and winced as he saw Raph try to calm his brother down, only to be punched away.

He felt his heart breaking as Mikey scrambled from the chair, crawling along the floor as if he was hurt. They saw him as he tried pulling his legs closer together, as if they burned within, and knew he was in a bad flashback.

* * *

Mikey's POV

_What's happening to me! Why...why do I feel like this...like a bomb is about to explode...my hearts racing...concentrate Mikey...concentrate..._

_What did he say?_

_What did I want?_

_I want the world to go back in time 5 months..._

_I want to be have my dad still here_

_I want to be home, safe in a bed I loved and felt secure in_

_I want to be clean_

_I want to feel safe..._

Mikey heard Raph's question, feeling as if he was far away, his skin paled slightly as his breathing increased slightly. _No, he didn't want a lot of people there...too many people...it was too much...they only had Splinter. _

"No, just us_..." _he whispered as he tried to concentrate. _T..they were orphans now...no parents...just eachother..._

Mikey felt a hand touch his arm, the sudden contact made him shriek, scrambling backwards, his fear increasing as he heard the words in his head.

_One down..._

_Three to go..._

Mikey's breathing increased faster, his eyes wide as he realized what he thought, his mind going back, remembering Usagi's voice as he whispered in his ear.

He shuddered as recalled the hands sliding along his skin, making it tense and feel dirty and disgusting.

* * *

MATURE SCENE! TURN AWAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE

* * *

"_**Please, stop, please" he begged, trying to get free from the restraints on his arms.**_

_**He had woken up restrained; his body spread out, and on his back. His eyes were covered, blindfolded, and he trembled as soft furry hand like paws glided along his skin. He could hear Usagi's breathing coming out in pants, and tried again to break the restraints but they were tight, firm and unbreakable. **_

"_**You are mine, remember that. I have ways to watch you...ways to make you remember, and ways for you to feel the pain every time!" and Mikey cried out as he felt like he was thrust into, but he wasn't. **_

_**Usagi was near his head, no one was near his waist. But he could feel the pain, deep inside, burning and twisting, his stomach clenched as he sobbed. **_

"_**Mikey!" he heard from far away. **_

"_**Why...why are you doing this? To our family? To me? To Leo?" Mikey asked, trying to curl up but whimpering as the pain seem to increase as Usagi seem to get angry. **_

_**He felt pain in his jaw, his cheekbone and jaw aching and throbbing in pain. **_

"_**I...I didn't do anything!" Mikey sobbed, whimpering as the pain increased in intensity again, making him cry out. **_

"_**I enjoy it Michelangelo...you are so strong but so pure...so pure...but now... now your filthy... nothing can take the stain out..." Usagi chuckled as he crawled between his legs. **_

_**Mikey screamed...**_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and fought back as he felt hands grip his arms, holding him down, words were being screamed and he couldn't handle it anymore.

His body suddenly stilled, the hands that were gripping him fell along him, and he just stopped. He lay there, breathing heavily, confused and conflicted, trying to make sense of his mind.

It was chaotic, and he couldn't think.

He could see his brothers nearby, Ariiliya standing at the doorway. Mikey could sense his brother's emotions like it was his, and frowned as he shut that part of him off. He stared at them, feeling the tendrils of panic, bitterness and hurt that had been radiating from his brothers.

He felt his brothers step back, giving him room. Giving him time to calm down. His heart was racing and his hands trembled violently.

"Mikey, ya 'kay?" he heard from far away, his head turning to the side, seeing Raph nearby, his eyes wide with concern and fear.

Mikey frowned, sensing that bond with his brother, relishing in how stable it made him. The love and energy Raph was sending, was helping him think and stabilize his thoughts.

He glanced at Don and Leo, feeling his own bond with his brothers, recalling when they really developed how strong their bond grew. He felt the deep love and concern, and knew his family loved him.

Mikey shuddered as he remembered Usagi's words, his touches. He could practically feel Usagi's hands on him even right now, but it wasn't there. He trembled, mumbling, "I'm dirty, I need a shower," he said, pushing himself to his feet.

He'd explain later what just happened, but at the moment, he felt like Usagi had just hurt him, had taken another piece of his soul, and he didn't understand.

He heard his brothers protesting but he ignored them, shutting the door in their faces, and crawled into the shower.

As the hot scalding water rained down on him, he broke down and cried.

_I'm messed up..._

_And I can't break free..._

_No matter what I think.._

_I just can't see.._

_I'm living but I'm dying..._

_Each and every day.._

_A shadow of my former self.._

_No longer who I used to be..._


	19. Burial

Mikey walked into his room, smiling sadly that he was going to be leaving. He enjoyed being here...there were bad memories, but they were better here.

He frowned as he picked up his journal, still torn in two but taped together. He felt like opening it and reading it but couldn't bring himself to reading it again, possibly recalling old painful memories he may not remember.

He shuddered at the thought and knew there were things he didn't remember and thankful that he didn't. _I don't need more nightmare material..._

"Mikey, it's time to go," he heard from behind him and knew it was Leo.

Mikey's hand shook as he turned, the journal dropping softly to the bed, "I...I don't know if I can do this Leo..." he said, admitting that he was scared.

Leo smiled gently, walking inside. He was about to close the door but seeing Mikey tense at the action, he pulled it open some more, knowing that Mikey was still healing.

"It's okay to not be ready Mikey...none of us are. We are still hurting...in grief. We miss dad...but with all of us helping each other, we'll heal over time," he said comfortingly.

Mikey felt his heart clench at the words, wishing their dad had never left them. "B...but...Leo…I…" he stammered, trying to form the words he needed to ask but couldn't yet.

"Go ahead, Mikey, take your time..." Leo said gently, a solemn look on his face.

Mikey hesitated for a second, glancing at his journal and the aching pain he remember when Leo ripped it in half so many months before.

He didn't know what to do, but finally forced out the question, "We...we don't have to go back to the lair...do we?" his voice breaking in hushed pain.

Leo's eyes filled with agony at the question. He stood up quickly, walking over to his brother, ignoring how tense Mikey got at his actions. "No Mikey. I will not allow us to live there anymore. Not only does it have bad memories for you; living there without father…will be unbearable… We will find a new home Mikey...I promise. You will never have to return there unless you wish to."

Mikey felt his shoulders drop in relief, a breathe leaving him as he basked in the new knowledge he just learned. "Thank you," he whispered, shuddering as he tried to quell the urge to cry in relief.

Leo stood in front of him. He slowly and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Mikey wanted to scream at the show of affection and comfort, hating that it scared him so much, cursing Usagi for making him so scared of being comforted, and then shivering at remembering him.

He stood there, frozen in fear and hesitation, trying to push back the words and images that flashed through his head, before he finally pushed past the feelings and wrapped his good arm around Leo, and started to cry.

Leo was startled at this action, but immediately embraced his little brother. "I swear Mikey, I will protect you better in the future!"

Mikey heard his words, and as he allowed the ache from their father's passing ease slightly. He could sense the difference now, he had felt fear and panic with Leo before, but now he felt the fear leave him.

10 minutes later, after wiping his eyes and cleaning himself up, he smiled weakly at Leo. "Thanks Leo," he whispered hoarsely.

Leo smiled back, his own eyes rubbed free from tears. "Anytime little bro, and I mean that."

"Let's go," Leo whispered, grabbing Mikey's backpack for him despite his protests that he could do it, and walked beside his little brother as they headed toward the Daimyo's quarters where they would be traveling from.

* * *

Two days Later:

It was a cool morning breeze that washed upon them as they gathered at the site of burial.

Mikey shivered in the cool air, hunkering down to his feet as he wrapped his arms around his knees, ignoring the pain in his shoulder as it protested against the action. He refused to wear the sling that day, and held his arm so he could wrap it around his knees. He wondered breifly why his arm and shoulder was taking so long to heal but pushed it aside as he watched his brothers walk by, carrying their father's casket.

He drew comfort from that pose, as he watched his elder brothers lower the casket they made into the ground earlier. He hadn't helped with that either. He couldn't help carry the casket or help dig the plot. He was feeling useless as he watched them being gentle and careful.

He wanted to yell and scream a denial of what he was seeing; his eyes seemingly blank as he stared. _This is wrong….it…it can't be right…why… Splinter… why did you leave us?_

"Mikey...were going to light some candles to send our last messages to father," Don said gently, trying to coax Mikey over.

Mikey tensed up, wanting to refuse, to deny that this was the last time they could send Splinter a message.

_NO! Don't make me...please...I'm dirty...I can't..._

He felt concern flare up in Don's body, and before he knew it, both Leo and Raph were beside him, calling his name softly.

He frowned, wondering why they were bothering talking to him. _I'm useless…I can't even help bury father! I'm dirty...I'll taint it...Why do they want me to help? I killed him…_

Mikey knew he wasn't logical in these thoughts, that he was grieving and in pain, but it was what was in his mind now. Little thoughts had been coming back, words returning that echoed in his mind at night, in his dreams…

"Mikey!" He heard Raph yell out, making him look up in surprise and shock as he felt a stab of fear emanating from him. He glanced around, like he was in a fog.

"Mikey, please, talk to us," Leo said softly, sitting beside Mikey and placing a hand on his arm. He frowned when he saw Mikey tense up automatically.

"Father doesn't want me…I'm dirty…bad…good for nothing..." Mikey whispered, his voice filled with self loathing.

"What!" Cried his three brothers at once, causing Mikey to shrink in on himself, quivering at the intense words his brothers yelled.

Mikey watched them blankly as they glanced at eachother, almost talkng with their eyes, and wondered briefly if they did.

_They don't talk to me..._he thought before he stared ahead, watching Splinter's casket, shivering once more. He felt the wind picking up, and glanced up, seeing clouds starting to form above.

Mikey sensed Don kneeling beside him, and turned his head, seeing his brainy brother right beside him.

"Mikey, why do you think Father doesn't want you?" Don asked quietly, wanting to figure out where these thoughts had come from.

"I'm bad…dirty…good for nothing…" He whispered his voice hoarse from lack of use. "Can't even help with the burial…can't carry, I'm dirty...I can't even bury...f...father...don't you see...I'm...good for nothing…"

Leo and Raph gazed at each other, anger and sadness built up, reflecting off them both, before Raph asked clearly, "Who da fuck told ya tha'?"

Mikey frowned, the fog in his mind lifting slightly as he heard the clear anger coming from two of his brothers. "I'm sorry…" He whispered sadly, he gaze back where he was staring, as he dropped his tense form, his bad arm falling uselessly to his side.

"No, Mikey, please, tell us!" Don urged, becoming worried. Mikey had been out of focus these last few days. They thought he had a breakthrough when Leo got through to him, but it seems like they reverted.

"Can't do anything right...father...can't remember like good sons, can't remember father becoming father…" Mikey said, averting his gaze finally, "can't be good boy…for anyone…" He whispered, shuddering as memories seem to come to focus.

"Oh, Mikey, is that why you are upset? That you can't remember things like we do?" Leo asked gently, but knew it was more.

"We can show you…how to access those memories…" Don said hesitantly.

Mikey frowned before glancing up at him. "Really?" The hollow look in his eyes fleeting a moment as he heard his brothers words, comprehending the meaning of them and looked a little more alert.

"It would be great…to say our goodbyes in the way we remember him," Leo said softly, "The day he became our father."

They slowly got into position, their bodies in a small circle as they got into a meditative pose, but Mikey lay his bad arm in his lap, before getting into his pose.

* * *

_**20 Minutes Later:**_

_**They emerged from the fog, finding each other easily, their bond though weak with one, was still strong enough to locate each other.**_

_**"Wow, where do we go from here?" Don asked Leo as he stared around, curiously. Usually it had taken him much longer to get to this point.**_

"_**Well…we are here to find Mikey's memories of our birth…in a way…let's ask him," Leo said, before turning to Mikey.**_

_**Mikey's eyes widened in shock, "Wait, what?" He was healthy here, his body whole and working without agonizing pain. He was glad; it had been so long since he felt whole.  
**_

"_**Well, this is our way of trying to find your memories… meaning we have to travel to your landscape…" Leo explained slowly.  
**_

"_**Wait, no way are you going into my mind. It will give you nightmares!" Mikey said sternly, eyes flashing with fear and worry.**_

_**"What do you mean?" Raph asked perplexed.**_

_**"He means that his mind is in too much turmoil to even attempt it." They heard from behind them, a voice they thought lost forever.**_

_**They whirled around, automatically standing in front of Mikey just in case it was a trick.**_

**Standing in front of them, was their late father.**

"_**Father?" Leo choked out, his voice wavering as he attempted to gain control of himself.  
**_

"_**Yes my son, it is I…I have been granted the opportunity to visit you one last time…and help Michelangelo regain the memory he desires…" Splinter said.  
**_

"_**Dad!" Mikey said, inhaling sharply before instinct took over, and he ran to his father, wrapping his arms around his father, hugging him tightly as he started to cry.  
**_

"_**Oh my son, I know this is hard…but you can survive and will heal over time." Splinter said sadly, one hand rubbing Mikey's shell in that familiar way he used to when they were small children and had a nightmare.**_

_**"Dad, please, stay!" Mikey begged, sobbing as he clutched his father tightly.**_

"_**I cannot my son. It is my time to go. This was not your fault. It was my time," Splinter explained, helping his youngest sit up, "Let me greet your brothers as well my son."**_

_**Mikey felt hurt flash through him, but he pushed it away as he watched Splinter hugging his brothers. Mikey frowned as that familiar feeling of being dirty and unclean return as he felt rejection flare up. **_

_**Mikey bit his lip, quickly hiding his feelings as he watched Splinter hug his brothers, giving them each the same affection he had moments earlier. He felt dirty again.  
**_

_**Soon, they were sitting in a circle, similar to the way they say when there were back in their bodies.  
**_

"_**Michelangelo, it is alright. Your memories are there, but they are buried behind the pain of your transformation…" Splinter began as he explained. "When you four fell to the ground, you all were injured badly."**_

"_**How come you never told us this before Master Splinter?" Leo asked, curious.  
**_

"_**I did not tell you because at the time, you were all babies and I had been unsure you would live. I brought you back to my burrow, thinking if I kept you warm, you would get better." Splinter explained, letting Mikey crawl into his lap.  
**_

"_**Why when we got warm?" Don asked, "How were we hurt? Were we cold or even bleeding?"**_

"_**Two of you had deep cuts on your legs and arms… But Michelangelo... well... it is best if we help Michelangelo remember," Splinter said smiling softly at Michelangelo.  
**_

_**Raph burst out, "How come ya can't stay?" He asked, not wanting Splinter to leave afterwards.**_

_**"My son, I am here for a short time only. I returned to say goodbye, and to help Michelangelo remember what he desired to know. He knew you three remembered what he could not, which caused more pain on my youngest." Splinter said, sending a smile to his fiery son.**_

_**"I miss you," Raph choked out, trying to quell the explosion of pain in his heart.  
**_

"_**I miss you too Raphael. I will be watching over you, never forget this," Splinter said sternly, smiling at every one of them.  
**_

"_**Dad? H…How can you show me? Me and Leo tried already…I'm too stupid to remember anything...you know how bad I am..." Mikey said with a disturbing acceptance of his words, his head bowed down in shame.  
**_

"_**You are not stupid my child. You are strong and brave. I shall show you," Splinter said gently but firmly, touching his arm intending to comfort but Mikey flinched away, blushing in shame at the intense flinch he just showed. He whispered a 'Sorry' as he scooted back slightly.  
**_

_**Suddenly, everything around them was vibrating, and Mikey tensed up with unease, scared of what was happening.  
**_

"_**Dad?" He said worriedly and scared, glancing around nervously.**_

_**"I want you to focus my son," Splinter said gently, rubbing his shell comfortingly, "It is all right my son, you are safe here. Just focus...**_"

"_**Um, dad…focusing doesn't work on me…remember?" Mikey said, trying to lighten the atmosphere and stop the fear from building.  
**_

"_**Michelangelo, please my son, focus on your desire of finding your memories, and I shall lead you towards them," Splinter said soothingly.**_

_**"I…I'll try," Mikey whispered as he pushed himself up. The ground was vibrating harder and he was scared, but he tried to focus.  
**_

_**He could hear his brothers encouraging him, his father whispering to him to focus on his desire, and cried out as he was suddenly falling.**_

* * *

_**(((((His eyes snapped open quickly and he saw they were falling to the ground. His head slammed into something as green ooze suddenly covered his body and he was sinking within. **_

_**His limbs hurt and his shell ached painfully as he tried to move. He could feel the tears of shock and agony building as he heard himself suddenly chirp in pain.  
**_

_**Where were his protectors…his egg mates…**_

_**He struggled to turn over in the ooze, gasping as he was suddenly choking on the strange, cold ooze that was filling his mouth, and covering his eyes.  
**_

_**He couldn't breathe…**_

_**His eggmates….where are they…**_

_**Chirping in distress, he flailed in the ooze, gasping for air that he couldn't get.  
**_

_**He felt something suddenly grip him in their teeth and he tensed, chirping rapidly as he was lifted from the choking ooze. **_

_**He felt the ooze slip from his body, splattering on the ground below him.**_

_**He could hear the loud chirping from his egg mate as he was suddenly lowered onto a cold, slimy ground.  
**_

_**He was surrounded and he opened his eyes weakly in exhaustion. He chirped tiredly to his egg mates who lay nearby. **_

_**He whimpered in pain as he smelled fresh blood.  
**_

_**Who was bleeding…what happened…**_

_**Where was home?**_

_**He glanced around frantically, chirping in fear as he saw a rat reaching down for him. He was confused as he felt the rats tongue start licking him, before his egg mates joined in.  
**_

_**He couldn't focus anymore and finally gave into the painful throbbing in his skull…closing his eyes, smelling the scent of blood, wondering briefly if one of his egg mates were injured also, not knowing the strange piercing pain in his skull made him close his eyes...or the smell of blood that was dripping down, was from his own skull...)))))**_

* * *

_**Mikey frowned as he watched the memory, feeling strange as he recalled the pain and confusion from the smaller turtle. "W…was that me?" He whispered in awe, his heart aching, but from what, he wasn't sure.**_

_**"That my son was what happened the day I rescued you," Splinter said gently. "Recalling your memories first hand was something I did not expect. As your brothers can attest to, usually you see your memory and not experience it firsthand."**_

_**Mikey frowned, "But…they were all so hurt…" he said, grasping Raph's and Don's hand in his right, while snaking his left hand around to touch Leo's and Splinter's.**_

_**"Yes my son, they were all in pain, and it took me quite some time to get the sticky ooze off…and I brought you back to my burrow," Splinter explained, this time showing his memory of how they woke up the next morning.**_

_**"Did our injuries healed?" Don asked curiously.**_

_**"Yes my son…most of the minor injuries healed, but the broken bones took a few weeks weeks to heal…but the smallest turtle was asleep and would not wake for almost a month or so…even though his body grew in size as did his brothers," Splinter explained.**_

_**"Thanks Dad…" Mikey said, smiling as he realized that the feelings of kinship he thought he lost, was still there; When he realized he could add to the web of memories of them…becoming a family…**_

_**"My son, I must go soon," Splinter said sadly.**_

_**"Please don't…stay…stay here with us!" Leo said, his heart aching as he stared at Splinter.**_

_**"I know you four are young to have this happen. I apologize for going so soon, barely 15 years from your birth..." Splinter said sadly.**_

_**Don piped up, "It's hard…Father… why…why did you have to go?" he asked, as large tears rolled down his face, "I…I'm sorry that I couldn't save you," he choked out in guilty agony.**_

_**Splinter quickly moved, engulfing Donatello into his arms, "My son, do not apologize. It was my time to go. I do not blame you. Please my son, you have done nothing wrong, I promise you."**_

_**"B..but I couldn't save you!" Don choked out, "I'm a genius…I should have figured out something…I …could have made something that couldn't saved you…" As he hugged his father back, basking in the much missed hugged.**_

_**Splinter shook his head once more, nuzzling his son on the cheek. "My little boy, it is quite alright. There was nothing you could do too save me…my body was old when I mutated, and it was old when it died. I promise you this, there was nothing you could have done."**_

_**Donnie glanced up, staring into Splinter's eyes, before slumping in defeat and acceptance, "Hai father…I understand…but I'll miss you."**_

_**"And I shall miss you all," Splinter said, his voice filled with love as he engulfed them all.**_

_**"Please Dad! We…we can't do this…we can't say good bye!" Mikey gasped out, terrified that once again, he would lose his father forever, not knowing if he could do this without him.**_

_**"You do not have to say goodbye my son," Splinter whispered. The turtles gasped as the felt the room shifting slightly, and the gentle tugging from Splinter's spirit.**_

_**Splinter smiled sadly, kissing each of his son's brow in turn, hugging them one last time, "Just say, "Good Night" my sons, for one day, you shall wake up here…and I will always be watching over you...keep your bond as brothers strong and true...I love you all..."**_

_**He slowly faded away as he spoke the last words.**_

* * *

Mikey gasped as he woke up, shivering and lying on the cold ground.

He whimpered as he realized he was lying on his injured arm and now it ached terribly. He glanced around, seeing he was still at the burial site.

_It….it's…real…he…he's really gone…_ Mikey thought as he slowly staggered over, his good hand shaking as he slowly touched the casket, wanting to deny the stark truth.

He could hear his brothers nearby, gathering around the grave, and Mikey whispered, "You were our father since you found us…protected us the best you can…" Mikey started choking up as his voice wavered, tears falling down his cheeks, "E…even though you're gone…you're still here….I…I love you dad…be at peace…we'll meet again one day," he whispered chokingly, finally letting his emotions free.

He could hear his brothers vaguely, giving their own private goodbye's and cried as he helped his brothers bury their father.

Finally it was daybreak, and the sun was starting to rise. Mikey stood up, feeling a gentle breeze brush past them, and the wind seem to whisper Splinter's voice, whispering, "Good night my sons..."

* * *

2 weeks later:

Mikey grunted as he tried to move his hand around the weight and pull, but his arm seem to refuse to move. It was starting to stiffening up and cramped a lot lately.

"Com'n Mikey, focus, pull the weight up!" Leo said, trying to encourage his little brother but Mikey glared back instead, his body flushed with anger, "I am Leo, what do you think I'm doing!"

"Try harder, it's the only way we can get your arm to get better….how about we try the Tug exercise," Leo finally said, remembering how Don explain that this exercise would help focus Mikey's arm strength and hopefully rebuild the muscles.

"No…enough Leo…it's not going to work," Mikey said tiredly, lifting up his seemingly dead arm and placing it inside the sling, "I…I think something's wrong with my arm…it…it seems to getting worse or something…"

"Worse? Worse how?" Leo asked alarmed, glancing over at Mikey quickly, his eyes roaming over Mikey's arm.

"I don't know…it's cramping…a lot..and bruises really easy. I can't seem to hold anything anymore or even close my hand….I think something's wrong…" Mikey explained quietly, trying to keep his voice steady and calm, "Maybe I hurt it worse…I don't know…can't feel it enough anymore to really tell…"

Leo's eyes shot open with alarm, "How long has it felt like that?" He said, touching Mikey's arm before suddenly, yanking it towards him to look at. He frowned when he saw no reaction of pain from Mikey.

Leo also noticed Mikey's arm was stiff and the skin color was off..._Was it dying or something? Leo thought with fear..._

"Ummm…a few days maybe? I don't know," Mikey said slowly, "I told Don but he said if it didn't change in the next few days, then he would look into it," Mikey said shrugging casually.

"And did it change?" Leo asked sharply. "Geez, Mikey, you are going to see Donatello and you will get your arm looked at!" Leo stated angrily, his eyes flashing with fear and anger, "Geez Mikey, you should have had this looked at!" yanking on his good hand.

Mikey tensed up as Leo started dragging him from the room and heading downstairs, memories of being dragged flashing in his mind.

He tried pulling away, but Leo's hand suddenly wrapped around his wrist, and the memories flared up.

_No! No Please!_

He felt himself beginning to black out...he distantly heard his name called before the darkness consumed his mind and body and he knew no more...


	20. More Bad News

Moments earlier, Raph had started for the living room, intent on watching some movies. He was tired and a little bored. As he walked into the room, he saw Leo and Mikey talking, and Leo trying to examine Mikey's arm.

His heart pounded a little faster seeing, the flash of fear and concern in Leo's eyes. Raph's eyes widened in surprise, as Leo spoke sharply to Mikey, before yanking him forward roughly by his bad arm.

He was about to speak up when he saw Mikey try to pull away from Leo. Only Leo gripped Mikey's wrist more tightly. Raph yelled out as he saw the sudden, raw panic and terror flash through Mikey's eyes just before they glazed over and rolled up into his head.

"MIKEY!" He cried out in concern, running over; cursing Leo's name under his breath as he helped catch Mikey's falling form.

"What the shell, Leo? Ya tryin' ta give 'im a heart attack!?" He roared scathingly as he quickly scooped Mikey up, his eyes searching for any hidden injuries.

"No, I'm sorry, I...just was trying..t..to..." Leo stammered, looking upset and ashamed all at once. "He...he needs Donnie..." He said as an explanation as he trailed behind Raph.

Raph scowled at Leo, before turning to the room where Don was. Raph was concerned by how light Mikey seemed to be in his arms, and worried that Mikey's bad arm seemed to be an off colour.

"Wha' da fuck ya do, Leo?" Raph growled out, glancing over his shoulder at him as Leo walked closer.

"He...he was telling me that his arm...wasn't healing right. That it felt like it was worse or something. I got concerned and worried so I...I just...grabbed him by the wrist to bring him to Donnie..." Leo said, his voice trailing off. "He just passed out," Leo said as he waved his hand to Raph's limp bundle.

Raph mentally counted to ten, first in English and when that didn't prove to be effective in lessening his rage, he did it once more in Japanese backwards. He scowled, biting his lip to prevent himself from screaming back, and nudged the door to Don's makeshift lab open.

"Yo! Donnie!" He called out, seeing Don sitting at the desk and looking like he was tinkering with a half built shell cell.

"What happened?" Don gasped, dropping the tools and equipment in his hands, and jumping to his feet as he hurried over.

"Fearless here scared the crap outta Mikey, and then he just passed out," Raph explained, as he gently placed Mikey on the nearby bed.

Donnie immediately started checking Mikey's vitals and breathed a sigh of relief after finding a steady heartbeat. "It looks like he just passed out. His heart rate is normal and his breathing is calm. He'll be okay once he wakes up in a little while," he said as he straightened up.

"That's good," Leo said as he breathed a huge sigh of relief, worried he had made him worse.

Don frowned as he checked Mikey's bad arm- noticing the off color- and his eyes flashed with grim concern. He immediately ran to his table, yanking his medical bag open, and digging through it.

His panicked frenzy drew concern from the other two and it was Raph who finally spoke up. "Donnie? Wha' the shell ya doin?" He asked worriedly, walking closer to Mikey's side as he gently held his brothers limp hand, "He's okay, ain't he?"

"I...I don't know, Raph. His arm doesn't look right...the color is off and it looks very stiff to me...I wonder if he's having problems with it," Don questioned, as he grabbed a needle and started unwrapping it from its sterile packaging.

"He is, Don...that's what made me so concerned earlier," Leo said in explanation, "We were doing our exercises and I noticed his arm didn't seem to want to move...he said it was cramping and if you look closely, there are a lot of bruises on it..." Leo his voice trailed off as he glanced at his youngest brother with concern.

Raph bit his lip, worried, "Donnie, his arm...it's going to be okay...right? Ya can fix it...right?"

"I don't know, Raph..." Don said as he examined Mikey's arm, a worry frown on his face. Raph watched in silence as Donnie tried getting Mikey's fingers to react to stimuli and his worry increased as they didn't respond.

"Leo, go grab a thin blanket just in case he's getting ill...and a glass of ice cold water," Don said, not enjoying Leo watching over his shoulder.

Leo quickly left as Raph continued to look on worriedly as Donnie continued his examination of Mikey.

Raph was at a loss on what to do. Mikey was badly injured a few months back when they discovered it, but Ariiliya told them that it might have a chance to heal and recover...but ever since they left the Nexxus, Mikey's arm seem to be getting worse, not better.

Pondering on that thought, he decided to bring that point up to Donnie who was looking frazzled and upset over Mikey's current condition.

"Hey, Don," He called out, getting Don's attention.

"Yes, Raph, what is it?" Don said, his voice obviously stressed as he glanced up briefly, not liking that he was interrupted.

"Ain't ya noticed tha' when we were in tha' Nexxus, Mikey's arm still 'ad feelin' but when we came ta Earth...it stopped workin'...is there sumthin' up wit tha'?" Raph asked curiously.

Don's eyes seem to freeze, then glaze over slightly as he thought about what Raph just told him. Raph was silent as he waited. He could see Don was thinking hard on what he had just said.

Leo walked in then, a thin black blanket draped over his left arm, as well as 4 glasses in his left hand and a pitcher with ice cold water in right hand.

"Here you go...figured some cold water for all of us might be a good idea..." He said as he set the glasses and pitcher down on a nearby table, "...what...what's wrong with Don?" Leo asked Raph concern radiating from him.

"He's thinkin', wha' else ya call it?" Raph said irritated but grabbing himself a glass of water.

"Did he come up with a reason why Mikey's arm is hurting and getting worse?" Leo asked, pouring the water into another cup.

"Nah, not yet. Like I tol' ya, he's thinkin'. Raph said as he sat back down into in his chair.

Leo sighed, frustrated, "I don't know what to do anymore, Raph...I'm feeling lost and angry...I don't know what to do or even how to help Mikey heal...it's like every day he comes back just a little bit and then something will trigger him and set him back again."

Raph shrugged, sighing as he rubbed his forehead, "I don't either Leo...but ya tha' leader...have ya thought about where we're gonna move ta when we go back to tha' lair?"

Leo nodded his head, glancing at Mikey with a sigh, "We have to go back to the old lair lair to pack up, but after that, I found another Atlantean home like the one we had before. It's much deeper into the underground, but its close enough to the access tunnels that it wouldn't be hard to get to the surface. It even has a small lake that feeds into the underground river...I think Mikey would like it there," he said, a faint smile on his face.

"Really? Ya think it has tha 'elevator up to tha' surface like the second lair?" Raph asked excitedly, sitting up straighter, a hopefully smile forming on his face. He had enjoyed the water treatment plant as a home, but found it damp and cold in the winter.

_**They had loved their Atlantean home. It had been their second home after the Mousers destroyed their last one. Fond memories they had of their first home soon faded as they realized just how nice the Atlantean homes were and the fact they had some kind of internal heating helped a lot for their survival.**_

_**It was their first winter when they realized they weren't as tired or sluggish as they usually were or that they didn't even go into hibernation as they had winter's previously in their old lair. **_

_**Leo had found the water treatment plant as their third lair when he was searching for his brothers upon his return from Japan. He knew it would be colder and draftier but it was clean and abandoned. They needed a place to stay and he couldn't allow his family to scavenge over the sewers especially so close to winter. **_

_**Master Splinter had searched the place as he got better and they adapted and grew to love the water treatment plant despite the cold and drafty home. **_

"Maybe, I explored it a little. It's covered with dust and looks to be abandoned...there are no rat feces or animal traces...it all honestly Raph, it looks to have been abandoned centuries ago. I was going to take Donnie to it but..." he said, his voice trailing off, glancing at Mikey lying on the bed.

Leo paused before he inhaled shakily, his voice pained as he said, "things happened and..I...Mikey..." he shook his head once again, before saying, "But it's a good thing we discovered Usagi's true nature. I had no idea just how vile and evil he was. I had been close to showing him the new place as a back-up lair...I was looking for his praise..." he said, hatred, disgust and shame in his voice.

Mikey started shifting on the bed, his face showing distress and pain as he whimpered pitifully, it sounded like a small child trying to force the scream within, but he was still deeply asleep, but lost in some horrific nightmare.

Raph leaned forward, touching Mikey's forehead gently, rubbing it soothingly, "Shhh, it's okay, you're safe now...he's gone...you're safe," he repeated over and over. Mikey soon calmed back down, but his body was still tense as he slept, but he was slightly calmer.

Raph scowled, leaning back as Mikey settled down, glaring sharply at Leo, "Don't mention 'is name around him! It triggers the memories he spent with him...that bastard still hurts him..."

Leo mumbled an apology, feeling guilty for causing even more distress and pain for his youngest brother. _He was just screwing everything up. He wasn't a leader...all he did was hurt Mikey...made Raph mad...heck... even Don was annoyed with him. He knew the only reason Don sent him to get the water was because he didn't like him around when he was examining Mikey..._

Leo was quiet for a few minutes, thinking of what to say next, wanting to comfort Raph but aching for answers. When none came to him, he felt like even more of a failure as a leader, or even as a surrogate father for his siblings. It wasn't a nice feeling.

Suddenly Don gasped loudly behind them, jumping up, he ran from the room. He was back within seconds, but his arms were filled with various items. Don quickly put them on a nearby counter, his hands flying quickly, almost a blur as he said rapidly, "We have to go back to the Nexxus, now!"

Leo was shocked by Don's request and confused by it. "But Don, we can't. The place we could build the portal is in New York, that's almost a full day away...and the things I need to get there...are at our old lair..." he said softly, gently almost, knowing the news would upset the intelligent turtle.

"We don't have time...Leo...his arm is dying...and I think it's because we're back on Earth...the atmosphere is different here," Don said quickly, eyes darting up and glancing at them. Leo felt a punch to his gut as he saw the fear in Don's eyes.

Leo watched as Don's hands were moving over Mikey's injured limb, gently touching the shoulder blade, and wincing as he felt hotness and saw the swelling that was slowly becoming apparent.

"What do you mean his arm is dying?" Leo asked standing up quickly, his eyes fearfully flying to where Mikey lay unmoving.

"Okay...in the Nexxus, one of the reasons why they heal so easily there is because of the atmosphere and the constant healing that comes from being in the presence of one of the mystical healers. Mikey's wounds healed, and it slowed down the death of his arm, stopping it ...but now that we're gone from there...his arm is slowly dying again." Don explained anxiously as he breathed in deeply trying to calm himself .

"Wha' can we do ta fix it Donnie?" Raph asked; eyes wide with guilt and fear as he realized something, "Did I make it worse when I hadda ta catch him..."

"It aggravated it, Raph, but it wasn't the true cause...the cause was the initial separation that was caused when Usagi yanked the arm back and out of the socket, breaking it. That is when a bone infection first set in," Don explained, drawing some blood, "But that infection was hidden by Usagi's magic, so it festered. By the time Ariiliya got to it, it was really bad, and correcting it was nearly impossible."

Mikey once again grew more agitated as he shifted on the bed, the mention of Usagi's name caused the demons in Mikey's dream to flare and he pleaded in a half whisper, "Please...no more...hurt...it hurts..." before trailing off.

They were silent for a moment before Raph walked over, comforting him gently and getting him to settle down.

Leo turned back to Don, talking in a quieter voice, "Sooo...what do we do?" Leo asked; slightly pale at the vivid description Don gave.

"We...we have no choice, I have to amputate...his whole arm," Don whispered sadly, "Immediately. The shoulder blade feels hot to the touch, and if I don't hurry...it'll spread over rest of his body and kill him painfully within days."

"You're gonna amputate his whole arm!?" Raph roared in shock, jumping forward as he put a restraining hand on Don's arm, "Ya serious?"

"Yes...it's the only way I can save his life," Don croaked out painfully, "I was going to see if we could go back to the Nexxus like within half an hour...Ariiliya had once told me that this would be a possibility in the future..." his eyes filling with anguish.

He covered his face with his hands for a moment, taking a deep breath, before speaking again, "but if we have to wait almost a full day...Mikey's not going to make it that long...it's spreading too fast," Donnie said as he waved his hand over Mikey's bad arm.

Their eyes snapped towards it, widening as they really saw how incredibly pale the limb was...a sickly greyish green and seemingly bruised all over. The shoulder was swollen and looked extremely painful. Don had placed some ice around it trying to slow the infection that threatened Mikey's life.

"Just how much pain is he in Donnie?" Raph asked quietly, closing his eyes in pain at the sight.

"He's taking non addictive painkillers right now...the pain is bad but he never lets me know just how bad..." Don said regretfully, "I see him sometimes grimace in pain, clutching his arm, but he rarely takes his medicine."

Raph sighed, "Always hiding his pain eh?"

Don nodded with a sigh.

"What do we do?" Leo asked with a resigned sigh, "tell us what you need."

Don sighed, looking flustered and pale at what he was about to do, "I...I need a freshly sharpened Tanto...and a scalpel ... plus a few other items. I also need a sterile room," he said slowly, trying to think of everything.

He was silent for a moment, before he said, "We can probably get some good items at the one of the shops in town . Casey can grab it, and a lot of first aid items...but we'll end up using a large portion of the funds we saved up."

"Money ain't no object, Donnie...Mike's worth spending tha' money," Raph said gruffly, "Jist as long as he's okay."

Don nodded numbly, not wanting tell his brothers that there is no guarantee that Mikey will survive the surgery,"Okay, let's get ready..."

They all gathered together, dividing themselves up. Leo went with Don to help write out the lists and Raph went downstairs, telling April and Casey what was going on and what they needed to do.

* * *

**Don's POV**

Don studied late into the night, wanting to make sure he knew what to do when he started the operation. He glanced back when he heard a pain filled inhale gasp and saw Mikey shifting on the bed.

He quietly got to his feet, seeing his little brother's blue eyes looking around, confused. "Hey, Mikey," He called to him softly, smiling gently at him.

"H..hey, Donnie," Mikey said, his voice slightly hoarse from a dry throat.

Don turned to the nearby table, quickly grabbing the jug of water and pouring a glass of water for Mikey. He helped Mikey sit up slightly, hearing the pained hiss as Mikey shifted forward, and handed him the water.

He watched in concern as Mikey's hand shook slightly as he held the glass, but smiled as Mikey took a few small sips, "That hit the spot," He said as he handed the glass back.

"I'm glad..." Don said, smiling, sitting in the nearby chair, "How do you feel?"

Mikey was silent for a moment, trying to figure out why he was in the infirmary with Don. "My arm is cramping up really bad," he said hesitantly, feeling anxious, "...and I can't feel my hand anymore...but...I feel...I don't know...anxious? What happened?" he asked, knowing that anxious feeling was coming from Don.

Don hesitated a moment, but seeing Mikey's pleading gaze searching for answers and no secrets, he continued, "You had a flashback when Leo grabbed you by the wrist...and you passed out," He explained slowly.

* * *

**Mikey's POV**

Mikey's eyes glazed slightly, a shiver engulfing his body as the memories returned; _the memory of a hand gripping his wrist tightly made his heart thump with terror ._

_**No! No, Please! No More!  
**_

He heard his name being called, and tried to focus on the sound of Don's voice, trying to pull himself out of the memories that was cascading through his mind.

"**MIKEY! "**

The world snapped into focus and he saw Donnie's concerned face hovering in front of him and he inhaled sharply, "Donnie?" He asked confused and worried.

He suddenly felt sick and hot all over.

* * *

**Don's POV**

"It's okay Mikey...you just had a flashback," Don said kindly, touching Mikey's arm to comfort him but when Mikey flinched back from his touch Don jerked his hand away.

"Sorry, Mikey," He said sadly, wishing he could comfort his little brother like he once had .

"No...I'm sorry, Donnie...I know you won't hurt me. You would never hurt me," Mikey said, smiling sadly, his eyes flashing with sorrow. He reached up with his good hand and grasped Don's hand, gripping it tightly to make it up to Don, feeling guilty he had flinched away from his brother.

Don saw the haunted sadness in Mikey's eyes, and his heart nearly broke when he had heard Mikey's saying he knew that he wouldn't hurt him. _Oh Mikey, you don't know..._

Don gripped his hand back gently, kneading it slightly as he smiled sadly at his brother. "Mikey...I need to talk to you about your bad arm," Donnie started slowly as his gaze drifted to Mikey's injured and greyish limb.

Mikey followed his gaze anxiously, picking up Don's nervousness, "What about it?" He asked, suddenly feeling a cold dread crawl through him.

Don bit his lip, scooting a little closer and said softly, "Mike...I examined your arm quite a lot in the last few weeks...and I've noticed that it has been getting worse..." He started slowly.

Mikey nodded in understanding, having made the same observations already, "I know...I figured you just had to do some kind of surgery to fix it... right?" He said hopefully; instead felt dread tighten and coil deeper into his gut.

Don glanced away, shaking his head 'no' before glancing over at Mikey who looked scared , bordering almost on blind terror, "Mikey...your...your arm is dying...and it's only getting worse."

"I'm dying?" Mikey croaked, gasping sharply, tensing in sudden fear.

"No...not you! But your arm is...but if I don't do something right away...you could die as well ..." Don said hastily, wanting to assure Mikey a little bit.

"Wait...what?" Mikey said, truly confused now.

"Mikey...I have to do surgery on your arm...but what I would have to do...is cut your arm off at the shoulder joint ..." Don finally whispered out brokenly.

* * *

**Mikey's POV**

Mikey paled; his eyes wide with clear shock as his hand wriggled out of Don's grip, and moving it quickly on top of his dying arm. "What!? You can't take my arm!" He said, feeling a strange panic building up in his mind.

_**Usagi took everything that was me and poisoned it...then...he took my father...and now he cost me my arm!?**_

He felt tears building up in his eyes, and he broke down, starting to cry hard as he felt Don wrap his arms around him in a comforting hug. _Even though he tensed up in remembered fear, he clung to Don, crying out his pain and terror._

_Why did everything happened to him?_

"I'm so sorry, Mikey...so sorry," Don whispered to him, his tears falling down his cheeks as he enveloped his little brother.

"What are you sorry for?" Mikey asked, choking back a sob as he tried to control his emotions.

"T..that I have to cut your arm off," Don whispered, his own eyes showing hidden pain of what he had to do to save his brother's life .

Mikey frowned - _sensing Don's pain_ - and glanced into his brown eyes. They were haunted and filled with concern and agony over his grisly decision.

"Why are you so sad?...there's...so much pain in your eyes...what happened?" Mikey asked with concern.

"Ummm...nothing..." Don said hastily, rubbing the tears from his eyes as he glanced away.

"No...Don, tell me, please... you're in so much pain! I can feel it...please...I...I want to help you." Mikey said, dropping a portion of his defensive shield, and gasped at the intense, haunting sadness that seem to engulf Don, "Please Don...you held it in for so long..."

"You remember when we were sent to a different world?" Don finally whispered, eager to confess the hidden pain and sadness he had held in so long.

"Yes ..." Mikey whispered, feeling a tiny spark of fear jolt through him at the memory of Sliver, who was evil and had been Splinter's alternate self in the world he had been sent to. He pushed his own fear away, concentrating on Don.

"My world was 30 years in the future and it was awful...Splinter was dead, Leo was blind; Raph was horrifically scarred all over and blind in one eye...and you..." Don broke off, his voice wavering as he tried to not cry.

"What happened to me?" Mikey asked fearfully, glad Don was finally telling him but afraid to hear about him. Don looked so guilty and filled with pain.

He remembered how haunted Don had looked when they were reunited and how concerned he was about his brother. But Don shut himself away, not wanting to discuss what he had seen and what had happened to him.

"You had lost your arm, this...this arm..." Don choked out, touching Mikey's injured arm, "And...y...your smile was gone. You fought like a warrior that had seen too many battles, that had seen so much pain." Don said, glancing up, unshed tears in his eyes, "You were no longer you...everything that I knew about you...was gone..."

Don broke off, his shoulders shaking as he tried to hold in the pain he had felt and the same he was feeling right now, "-and it hurts so much seeing you like this...because it reminds me of you...the other you...and you died in that future...all my brothers died...and I don't want you to die." Don choked out brokenly before he completely broke down.

Mikey felt his empathy flare and he pulled Don into a tight hug, letting him cry. He comforted his older brother, hiding away his own pain away. His brothers had been trying to help him, but Donnie needed a brother now ...and he was right there.

_I can help Donnie...this is really hard on him...this is taking so much outta him...and it's not his fault...it's mine..._

* * *

Hours later:

**Mikey's POV  
**

Mikey tried to sleep during the night, waking up as he choked back another scream as his eyes darted around in fear, gasping in the darkness of the night.

_He could swear Usagi was out there -__**somewhere**__- watching him. He's here...he has to be here...he's haunting me...hurting me...it hurts...it hurts so much..._

_Where are my brothers? Why am I alone? _

His eyes darted around the darkened room and he heard a soft snore in the corner, and he relaxed slightly as he saw Raph sleeping in the easy chair in the corner.

_I wonder where Donnie is_... He thought as he pushed himself up from the bed. His arm cramped sharply in pain and made him gasp at the intensity. He stifled it when he heard Raph snort, moving slightly in his chair before quieting down.

_Good...I don't want to wake him...I need time ...I need to think..._

He quietly slipped out of bed, picking up his sling and put his dying arm within it carefully, stifling the gasp of pain he felt at the action. He made his way to the open window.

_He knew that it would worry his brothers but he needed time to think...alone..._

Slipping outside, he neatly jumped down from the second story roof, and landed quietly on the ground.

Silently, he padded his way to Splinter's grave; just wanting to talk, and knew that he could speak to Splinter.

The moon was high in the sky, and stars sparkled above. Mikey breathed in the crisp, cool air, and basked in the knowledge that he was safe.

Sitting at the base of Splinter's grave, he stared at it, eyes slightly glazing over as memories of his father passed through his mind.

**"_DADDY!" Mikey cried out, running toward his father, tears rolling down his face._**

**"_My son, what has happened?" Splinter asked concerned, kneeling down and examining the large gash in Mikey's arm; It was quite deep and blood flowed freely from it._**

**"_I fall off'a bed and landed on Donnie's thing...daddy...it hurts..." Mikey sobbed as he was hugged by Splinter, breathing in his scent and calming down slightly._**

**"_It is all right my son. I shall help clean it and it will be all better," Splinter said soothingly as he smiled and, kissed his son's brow as he carried Michelangelo. _**

**"_Daddy will make it all better." Splinter said reassuringly. _**

Mikey smiled sadly as he remembered Splinter, gently cleaning his arm and bandaging it. He had been sick afterwards, and Splinter went out and got him a few comic books, reading them to him since he was stuck in bed with a mild infection and cold.

"Sensei..." Mikey whispered wretchedly, bringing his legs up in front of him, curling himself up as he sat there, his good arm holding his legs to his plastron, his bad arm nestled against his chest.

He felt tears build in his eyes as he started talking, "Sensei...what do I do? H...how can I live without one of my arms...heck...how can I live without you!? Why did you have to die!?" he said, before jumping to his feet and starting to pace.

Mikey suddenly felt anger building inside, along with hurt and he tried to contain it. Finally he lashed out, whirling around angrily, tears falling as he yelled bitterly. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!?" He screamed, "I NEEDED YOU!"

Mikey paced along the ground, anger still burning hotly with in him, "Why didn't you save me!? I cried for you to come...I begged you to hear me...all this talk about us being connected together was a crock! You didn't save me!" He snarled with a furious growl, the hot tears still coursing down his cheeks.

"I screamed and begged...he hurt me..." He said weakly, shaking his head as he tried to hold it all within, "He...he hurt me daddy and you didn't come..." as he broke down, collapsing to his knees.

All that was heard in the forest was the deep, painful cries that came from Mikey as he grieved in pain. The minutes passed by slowly as the cries from his tortured soul soon tapered off.

Mikey glanced up at Splinter's grave mark, and whispered chokingly, "I screamed for all of you to save me...to come wake me up from this nightmare when it happened...w...when he came...when he came into my room...I ..I prayed you all would know something was horribly wrong...that he was hurting me..."

Mikey wiped his eyes, his eyes haunted, "Daddy...he's still hurting me...Don wants to take my arm..."

It was silent for another moment before he continued, "Sensei...how can I be a ninja without my arm? How can I even fight? How can I protect my brothers in battle?"

Mikey said weakly, looking confused and lost, "I already killed you...and now... I'm truly gonna be useless now."

The wind seemed to pick up and Mikey lifted his head, his eyes finding the stars sparkling above him through the treetops. "I...I hate this...this feeling of filth that is inside me...that I know the taste of him...and how he felt when he was in me...and the pain it caused...the warmth as he released inside me, filling me with more filth..."

Mikey closed his eyes, wincing slightly as he said, "I can remember it all happening in graphic detail, in slow motion. Sometimes it seems like I am watching it happen outside my own body, and there's nothing I can do to save myself...and it's like I don't know what to do anymore. I couldn't save myself...I couldn't save you..."

Mikey breathed in the crisp night air shakily, sensing a comforting twinge to the wind that caressed his skin, and knew his father was listening to him.

"I...I can't talk to them Sensei. I can't handle seeing and sensing their pain and anger...the guilt that leaks into their souls...and it hurts...it physically hurts Sensei..." he paused, looking lost, "It hurts that I caused their pain and I caused your death...and it's all my fault..."

He sighed deeply, leaning back against a nearby tree, one hand playing absently with some grass, "I...I just want it all to go back to normal...I want everything to be how it was..."

Mikey sighed, glancing up once more, staring at the stars far above, as tears slipped down his cheeks, "I want to be me again...please...someone! Anyone ... save me from this nightmare I call my life..."

He could feel the anger building and the rage he felt within as he wanted to scream at his father, but just choked out in an angered whisper, "Father...why?...Why didn't any of you save me..." and his voice trailed off as the wind picked up, "Was I not worth saving?"


	21. Confrontations

Chapter 21

Don groaned as he slowly woke up, his tired eyes gazed towards where Mikey was asleep before he jumped to his feet, shocked.

Raph was asleep on the chair nearby and Don frowned with worry as he glanced around the room.

_Where the heck is Mikey?_ Don thought, frantic with worry. He ran to the bathroom, looking inside. He's not here!

Don ran to where Raph sat sleeping, and wildly grabbed his arm, "Raph! Raph, where's Mikey!?" Don questioned Raph anxiously, his eyes wide with a fearful panic. _He can't run away, not right now!_

Raph snapped forward, eyes snapping open with a confused glance as he looked around blurrily. "Wha da fuck, Don?" Raph growled, glaring up at his brother.

Don glared right back, standing in front of him. "Where's, Mikey!?" He snapped angrily.

"He ain't here?" Raph asked confused, his eyes darted frantically to the bed, inhaling sharply at the sight of an empty bed.

"Where da shell did he go!? He didn't go out da door!" Raph said, running to the window, and cursing when he saw it was wide open.

"Donnie, check downstairs," Raph yelled before he darted out the window.

Don ran downstairs, his feet slapping against the wooden floor as he ran down, "Mikey!? Where's Mikey!?" He barked at Leo who was in the living-room, asleep.

"Don?" Leo questioned as he sat up on the couch, yawning tiredly.

"Leo, Mikey isn't upstairs. I have to find him!" Don said in a panic.

"Don, calm down, we'll find him," Leo said quickly, immediately awake. "Go tell April and Casey to help you search the farm. I'll run through the woods, maybe he went to see Splinter's grave."

Don nodded still pale and shaking. "Okay." He turned and ran to the back of the house where April's and Casey's room was.

Leo could hear him banging on the door as he left the house.

* * *

**Raph's POV**

Raph ran through the woods, already knowing where Mikey would head to.

His feet were silent as he treaded the ground, eyes darting around warily; just in case.

He frowned as he moved closer to where Splinter was buried. He could hear Mikey's anguish crying. Concern rolled over him as he peeked through the woods and saw his youngest brother curled on top of Splinter's grave.

Raph frowned, seeing how pale Mikey was and how his body shook as if he was trying to repress his pain. _Geez Mikey...let it out...it's hurtin' ya ta hold it in..._

"WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU SAVE ME!?" He suddenly heard Mikey's anguished voice crying out, beseechingly to the heavens above.

Raph felt his heart ache painfully as he heard the soul shredding words, tears building in his own eyes. The familiar feeling of guilt and shame grew in his chest, making it throb inside. _I'm sorry, Mikey..._

He could hear Mikey clearly now, his voice wavering between heart breaking pain and furious rage.

"You always told me you would never hurt me...that'll you'll keep me safe... you said you'll be with me always...that you'll protect me..." Mikey cried out in anguish, his good hand slamming a fist into the muddy ground next to Splinter's grave.

"YOU LIED! YOU ALL LIED TO ME! None of you saved me from my hell! You abandoned me! Everyone abandoned me! " Mikey broke down into more sobs.

Raph bit his lip, wanting to move forward, to tell Mikey he was wrong and tells him it wasn't true, that they didn't lie to him and abandoned him.

**_But it was all fucking true...they didn't save him...they had lied when they said they would protect him and they had abandoned him. They didn't see any of it…it don't matter Usagi used tha' magic crap…_**

**_We jist weren't lookin'…we jist didn't see tha' signs…_**

**_Fuck Mike...confront us already ...yell at us …hit us ...put blame on us... just don't hold it in... It's killing you Mikey…_**

He heard someone shift just beside him, and glanced over, seeing Leo standing there. He shook his head at him, indicating to him not to approach Mikey. **_We need to hear this..._**

Leo nodded in approval as they listened.

Mikey glanced up; looking to the stars that was still shining above, his body still shook from repressing his cries. "I...I can't keep hating you and loving you guys at the same time ...my brothers...dad...you...you lied...you all lied...and it hurts so damn much..." He choked out. "He took everything that was light...that … everyone loved about me...and tainted it...making me...nothing..."

"Dirty...that's all I am...dirty little whore...only good to fuck with ..." Mikey spat with disgust, glaring in anger at the sky, "Good for nothing... worthless… he was right there...I'm useless...and now...I'm more than useless...I'm a slut...a whore..." He said sadly sighed sadly.

Mikey inhaled deeply before he spoke again, his voice filled with disgust and bitter sadness. "But it wasn't your fault...I know that now ...it's not your fault. It's mine...I did it. I was asking for it ...he wanted me... he said he liked me... liked how I smiled... my eyes..."

Leo's eyes widened in shock, he had never heard these words coming from Mikey before or even heard it in the reports.

He cringed as he heard Mikey rambling, his stomach twisting sharply. Mikey continued to talk, not aware that he they were there, hearing him tell sorid details and it hurt the eldest.

Mikey whispered hoarsely, his voice clear but dead as he spoke, "He loved how I felt you know...how I struggled as he fucked me ... he loved how I screamed for my brothers or my dad... said I was tight...so tight," and he shuddered, still staring at Splinter's grave, closing his eyes as if he was in more than just mental and physical pain, that his own words were wounding him.

He continued to speak, "He said I wanted it... that I teased him... that being Battle Nexxus Champion...it was his right…that I was his. He said I would like it... that it would feel good... but it hurt," Mikey said, his voice wavering this time, "I remember the first time especially dad; He didn't do anything to prepare me. He just thrust in hard... I felt like I was being ripped apart...over and over...and I bled so badly... My screams of agonizing pain were drowned as he clamped his mouth roughly over mine as he came deep inside of me. I could feel shot after hot, burning shot deep inside…" and he broke off, faltering as the tears started flowing down his cheeks.

"My insides was filled with his….stuff…dad…he poisoned me..and…when he finally released my mouth, panting heavily into my ear, he told me…" Mikey sobbed harder. "He told me, now a part of him will always be here… inside me forever and that made me his…"

Both Leo and Raph tensed up, and suddenly Leo disappeared from behind him. Raph was about to turn and follow but he suddenly reappeared a second later, this time Don, April and Casey beside him, watching warily.

"W…when he said I wouldn't remember, I was grateful…I was grateful to the bastard…I relished the memories going away! When they came back...I...I was scared dad...scared the memories were true...that they couldn't be. It was just... a cruel trick... something that would make me fear them...fear you. " and Mikey's voice broke, "And it worked..." He whispered sadly.

Deep sobs echoed through the forest floor, "B...but it was true...it was all so God damn true...and...I...I can't stand it..." Mikey sobbed harder, if that was possible.

"Why did you leave me...why? I HATE YOU!" Mikey screamed again, jumping to his feet as he kicked a nearby tree, a sharp thwack echoed.

Mikey screamed again, a loud bellow of pain and agony. "I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU! YOU DIDN'T STOP HIM! YOU...you...didn't stop him..." He fell to his knees hard, his chin dropping to his chest as his eyes squeezed shut. "He hurt me so bad ...and no one saved me...he was right..." He whispered tiredly, panting with his eyes still closed.

"You let him have me...didn't you? Y...you gave me to him..." He said heart brokenly; his wet eyes slowly open, as he shook violently, "And now ...you're letting him hurt me again..."

**_They couldn't believe what they were hearing. Mikey's words just cut right through them, and knowing that Mikey believed me with all his heart; hurt more than they knew._**

Raph, Don and Leo were shocked at the depth of what Mikey was reveling and what he believed.

April was backing up, tears filling her eyes as she tried to stifle a sob of anguish, Casey engulfing her into a tight hug and April shifted to bury her head into Casey's shoulder.

She stepped on a branch. Everyone froze and glanced towards Mikey who tensed up, eyes darting everywhere, glaring into the inky darkness, his hands automatically reaching for weapons he didn't have.

"W…who's there?" He asked, his voice wavering with nervousness.

Raph quickly stepped forward to reassure his baby brother. "It's just us, Mikey!" Raph called out, seeing the panic building up in Mikey's eyes, "It's okay bro, you're safe and no one's going ta hurt you."

Mikey was still high strung, and whispered before he even realized he opened his mouth, "I heard that before."

Mikey's eyes widen in shock and he covered his mouth in horror at what he just said, he took a shaky step backwards. "I'm sorry!" He cried out wretchedly, feeling ashamed and guilty.

"Its okay bro," Raph said reassuringly, stepping forward slowly, frowning as Mikey took another step back, and looking confused and scared.

Raph froze unsure what to do. "We...we heard wha' ya said," waving his hands towards Splinter's grave.

"I...I..." Mikey stammered, looking more confused and backing up slightly. "Y...you heard me?" He choked out, looking broken.

"Ya, Mike...we did," Raph said, waving his hand to his brothers behind him, who stepped forward at his slight wave. April and Casey stepped out as well, but April was crying heavily.

Mikey seem to pale, flinching as he heard April's crying, and his body started to shake.

He seem to tremble, eyes flashing as he watched them warily, exhaustion and pain showed in his eyes and his head dropped for a mere second when suddenly his emotions flared out of his control as they all felt the intense wave cover the area.

**Hatred, revulsion, fear, resentment, pain, disgust, guilt, shame, anger**

They cried out, falling to their knees at the intense pain of the emotions, and Mikey...he gasped in shock, quickly wrapped his emotions back inside him, sealing them away.

"I'm sorry!" He cried out again, muttering to himself, "Stupid… stupid…bad…good for nothing…" he muttered, pacing slightly, "control….remember…stupid turtle…" as he paced, concentrating hard as he pushed his barriers back into place.

Raph groaned, getting to his feet, "its okay, Mike...your allowed ta feel all tha'."

Mikey shook his head rapidly, his breathing getting heavy as he tried to ignore what was said. His eyes flashed as April rushed forward, crying out in a tear filled voice - "Oh Mikey" - intending just to comfort the youngest turtle.

Mikey's eyes widen in sudden terror. "NO! Don't touch me!" He roared, backing up rapidly, eyes glazing over with mindless fear.

April froze in place, her good intention made her want to cry out in frustration as she saw she terrified the youngest even further. "Mikey?" She whispered softly, but Mikey shook his head back and forth not listening.

"Please...please...I wanna stop...please...Usagi...please stop ..." Mikey muttered, "it hurts...you're hurting me...please..." cringing on the ground as if expecting a blow.

Leo's eyes widened, flashing with sadness and anger at the one who ruined his little brother's mind body, and soul.

He stepped forward slowly, his voice calm and collected, whispering "Mikey…listen…you're safe. You're not there. You're fine. No one is going to hurt you! I am right here and no one is hurting you."

Mikey's eyes cleared slightly, and he finally opened them, trembling on the ground.

"Mikey, listen to me, you're safe now. We are right here. You are in the forest near the farm and we won't let anyone hurt you anymore. " Leo said sternly, shuffling forward, making sure Mikey knew he was advancing.

Mikey watched him warily, tensing as he got closer, wanting to scream, to yell, and glanced at Raph for help.

Raph saw Mikey's glance, and moved forward slowly, seeing the plea in his little brother's eyes. "Mikey, can I come ta ya?"

Mikey nodded frantically, eyes staring at him. Raph hurried forward, and kneeled beside Mikey, his muscled arms engulfing his little brother.

Mikey clutched his arms tightly, calming almost instantly at Raph's gentle touch as the tears fell down his face silently.

"Talk ta us, Mike…we heard ya…why can't ya say tha' stuff ta us? We need ta unn'rstand but we don't. We don't know how ta help ya unless ya let us," Raph explained as he hugged his tenderly brother.

Mikey gasped out, trying to hold back his tears, "I…I can't…you… you'll leave me."

"Why do ya think tha'?" Raph asked, a worried look on his face as he glanced back at Leo and Don, before turning back to Mikey, "Tell us, Mikey."

Mikey shook his head, before his head dropped, and he gave in, confessing, "U…Usagi…he…he said that…that you'll leave me all alone. Make… make me be his… and you wouldn't stop it."

"What? Mikey, you don't really believe that, do you?" Don asked, moving over near him, sitting down beside him.

Mikey curled into Raph's arms and nodded his head hard.

Raph sighed deeply, his eyes closing in pain. "Ah, Mikey…ya jist can't believe 'im. He laid ta ya, Mike… And he kept lying' ta ya. We ain't gonna leave ya. Eva'! We promise."

"Promise…" Mikey asked, looking puzzled. "Why do you make promises? Y…you already broke your promise?" before he cringed, closing his eyes tightly as if expecting to be hit again.

Leo spoke up earnestly, "We do promise, Mikey…we failed at our promise to protect you before… and we know we did fail. But we know now, and we want to protect you now and in the future."

Mikey slowly opened his eyes, staring at them as he bit his lip. "You lied…you all lied to me," He whispered, a flicker of anger and pain starting to leave his body.

He pulled his head up, eyes blazing with emotions, "You didn't protect me! You…you didn't see it! Why didn't any of you see he was hurting me? All those touches…all those times he pinned me down, saying it was a game from his planet! Why didn't any of you see it!?" He snarled angrily.

"I don't know, Mike…we jist don't know why we didn't see it…" Raph said with a tired sigh.

Mikey finally lashed out, his one hand turned into a fist and he finally screamed out his anger and pain as he pounded on Raph's plastron angrily, "I hate you! I hate you all! You didn't see he was hurting me! Why?" He sounded confused and young as bitter tears rolled down his pale cheeks.

"Mikey …" Don said slowly, catching Mikey's attention as he glared slightly, "You're right that we didn't see anything. I suspected something was wrong, but Usagi hid it. He hid the bruises and the injuries. He hid everything that was hurt on you so we wouldn't see it. I didn't see it…we all didn't see it, and for that, we're truly sorry."

Mikey inhaled sharply at the apology, eyes wide with shock and disbelief, his fist falling as he stared at them.

**_They…they're apologizing?_**

Then Raph and Leo both apologized as well, his jaw dropped and his heart clenched. He closed his eyes, accepting the words, allowing them to heal a small part of his broken heart.

"Thank you…" He whispered weakly, his eyes suddenly heavy. "And I'm sorry…for worrying you…"

Leo smiled weakly, nodding his head, and grinned, "Let's get you home."

"Home sounds good…" Mikey muttered sleepily as he was helped to his feet.

"So…we good bro?" Raph asked hesitantly.

Mikey glanced at him, feeling his uneasiness and fear and knew that it was because of him. He felt a small part of him heal, wanting his brothers love, but there was still something in the way. **_He just didn't know what it was…but he would find out…_**

"I don't know yet bro…I…can't decide…not yet…me…***yawn*** can't think straight right now." Mikey said, wavering back and forth on his feet.

"You okay, Mikey?" Donnie asked deeply concern, walking over and placing a hand on his forehead, allowing Mikey to swat his hand away a second later. "You have a high fever…we need to do the surgery."

Mikey stared at Donnie, looking confused before slowly nodding his head, "Okay…" before he fell forward with a thump as his eyes rolled back.

"MIKEY!" They all cried, as they caught his limp body before he hit the ground.

"Guys, we need to get him back and prepped for surgery as soon as possible," Don said worriedly as he helped Leo and Raph adjust Mikey to carry.


	22. Surgery

Thanks to my beta Amonraphoenix for helping me out. Another Chapter will update in the next few days!

* * *

Chapter 22

In the farmhouse, Donnie was running all over the place, gathering items he thought they could use, and various others. He wondered where he should do the surgery next, staring at the various rooms.

He already said 'No' to the bedrooms, not wanting to use a bed that could jiggle around.

He walked past the kitchen, staring at Casey's kitchen table. Casey built it himself shortly after they started living there. It was a long table, easily fitting about 8 people, 4 on each side.

_Well, it is long enough and stable. I would need to cover it…maybe a tarp and I'll have access to water nearby…_

"Casey, I need a brand new tarp, do you have one?" Donnie asked quickly, walking over to where Casey and April had been standing.

Casey started to shake his head when April interrupted him, "YES! I do have one. I bought it a long time ago though. That was when Leo was badly hurt…I bought it for the van just in case he was going to throw up."

"What do you mean? He wasn't sick, he was injured," Donnie said, confused about her thinking.

"No offense, but he was pale, shaking and had a high fever. It was a possibility I thought would happen. No one told me Master Splinter had a remedy to prevent that from happening!" April said with a dramatic sigh, slapping Casey on the arm because he was snickering.

"True…anyway, is it still in the package?" Donnie asked, smiling as he saw Raph chopping wood with an axe and Leo practicing his katas through the kitchen window.

Don was glad he had sent them out there to do something physical before the surgery because there could be a chance he might need them during the procedure.

He heard April coming back inside and walked toward her, spotting her in the livingroom at the nearby boot closet. He smiled as he saw her cursing at a box that was perched on the shelf and tipping. Casey hurried open, "Gee

"Yes, it is…I had bought one of those vacuum sealed ones so it would stay clean," April replied while shrugging, "You never know when you need it especially if you are about to move antiques."

Don nodded, "Great, go grab it please. We could use it. Casey, I need a hand from you," he said waving Casey into the house.

April disappeared a moment later while Donnie walked back to the kitchen. "I need your help moving all of this," he replied, pointing to the two benches alongside the table.

"Wha' for?" Casey asked confused.

Donnie sighed, "I'm amputating Mikey's arm right here. I need room to go around just in case."

"Oh," Casey said in a small voice, paling slightly. He quickly stooped down, grabbing one bench, easily carrying it. Don was surprised but recalled Raph mentioning that Casey can easily bench 300 pounds like him.

Casey quickly returned with for the other bench while Donnie prepared the kitchen with various items and a pot filled with boiling water. He had to sterilize the blades and sewing needle.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered with a sigh as he prepped. April came in with the tarp.

"April, help me spread this and place a sheet over it to soak up the blood," Donnie said, explaining why he was doing what he was doing.

April nodded, "Okay...Donnie...will this cure him?"

Donnie bit his lip, "I don't know April. I know it will stop a large portion of the pain he was feeling but the shoulder blade was still damaged...I can't stop that pain. It's not like I can amputate that...he'll have that pain for the rest of his life."

April's head dropped with a sigh, "But at least the pain from the arm dying will be gone, right?"

Donnie nodded, a weak smile on his face, "Yes. April, he will be a great ninja again. Even in the alternate world when he only had half a limb, he was a great warrior and ninja. He will be again."

April smiled in relief, relaxing slightly as she prepared the area. Soon Mikey was prepped and lay on the bed. Donnie dragged over a rack he had found in the corner of the living room. It was for holding jackets and he thought it would word well.

He moved a few bags around, glad he had been able to hijack some antibiotics from the nearby animal clinic and a few other items like IV with a electrolyte solution and needles and tubing.

April also managed to find several packages of gauze but not much. They had prepared several towels that had been boiled and washed on bleach, then rinsed once again in boiling water.

They had to make sure there would be no spread of germs and Donnie thought that would do it.

Leo and Raph stepped in the room silently, having put on the aprons Donnie had told them to wear and their hands were scrubbed cleans. Donnie glanced up; smiling weakly as he saw his brothers had listened in not wearing their bandanas or gear on the basis they might carry germs.

"Hey guys," Donnie said, a weak attempt at a smile grew on his face.

"Hi Donnie...is it time? What do we do? Are you sure we need to be here?" Leo said awkwardly, looking helpless, "I mean..I want to be, it just that...I have no idea what to do..."

Donnie smiled, "It's fine. I need one person right here near his head, the other watching his wrist on this arm first..then to move to his foot once I start. Do you know where the pulse is there?" he asked them.

Leo frowned, shaking his head but Raph nodded, "I'll watch 'is pulse...just...show me again where it is," he said, a pale tinge to his face.

Donnie nodded, quickly showing Raph the where the pulse lay, instructing Leo to watch Mikey's pulse in his heart and stay near his head to keep an eye out on his breathing.

Donnie didn't know how to feel as he stared at the dead limb. It was getting worse, looking almost grey. _How did I miss it was dying?_ He thought with a troubled frown_ you can see how stiff and grey it is…_

"Donnie?" April questioned worriedly, seeing Donnie had froze in prepping the surgical sight.

"I…I just can't believe how much…how fast it seems to be dying…" Donnie responded, gesturing to the limb.

April nodded, smiling grimly, "We didn't know Donnie but we're making him better, alright. Just focus."

Donnie nodded, taking a deep breath as he reached for the sterilized tanto; the blade gleaming dully in the artificial kitchen light. He brought it towards Mikey's shoulder, and shook slightly.

Donnie glanced at Mikey's pale face, watching him breathe through the mask that was helping oxygenate his blood, as well as helping him sleep "I'm sorry Mikey," he whispered before he steadied his hand, and brought the blade against the skin.

He pressed in deeply, the blade slicing as if it was through butter. Donnie saw the blood pooling down on the sides and barked out, "Suction!" and April was there with a little tube they devised to suck up the blood.

Donnie continued to cut, slicing through tendons and muscle, making a clear way to where the shoulder joint connected to the dead limb. He cringed at the sight. Donnie carefully cut several muscle and cauterize many blood vessels.

His stomach rolled as he tried to remember every step he read and watched videos about, remembering about the different nerves and his mind raced with the slight panicked thought that if he cut wrong, Mikey could end up with no feeling at all on that side.

It seemed like it was taking forever and that the clock was ticking loudly. Donnie's eyes crinkled as sweat dripped into them, making his vision blur.

"Ahhh, someone, wipe that off," he said, blinking rapidly as he tried to see.

April moved quickly, grabbing a towel and quickly wiping Donnie's forehead. Donnie glanced back down when he was able to see, gasping as he saw the small lapse caused him to nick the brachial artery.

"April, I need that clamp!" Donnie shouted, panicked as the blood spurted outwards, covering his plastron.

"Donnie, his heart rate seems to be racing...it's...going really fast," Leo said worriedly, "and his temperature changed...what's going on?"

Donnie had no time to answer when Raph spoke up, "Donnie, what's going on? Tha' monitor's light is goin' off like crazy!"

Donnie's eyes turned, widening in panic as he saw Mikey's heart rate extremely high. "Fuck, he's going into shock," he said grimly as he quickly severed the remaining arteries and nerves as he continued to amputate.

"April, I'm going to need to cauterize in a minute this last bleed so ready the instrument," Donnie said, his heart racing as he heard Raph's worried voice, "He's gettin' cold..."

_Mikey, please not now...we're almost done..._ he thought wildly as he worked quickly, bringing the tanto down once more, slicing through the remaining muscle and tendon, the arm pulling freely. The brachial vein spurted slightly but quickly cauterizing the smaller veins around and quickly stitching it closed made him smile.

He was done with that part...Thank god...now just to sew it up and we're done he thought, relieved the hard part was over.

"I CAN'T FIND A PULSE!" Leo cried out.

Donnie's eyes widened with fear and shock, "WHAT? Raph, check his pulse!" he said rapidly, quickly checking through the oxygen mask to see if he was breathing but he couldn't see it.

_Oh god..._he thought_, what do I do?_

Donnie's mind raced as he quickly replaced the mask, attaching a small pump to the mask as he ordered, "Raph, get over here!"

Raph hurried over, his eyes wet with tears, fear etched clearly on his face.

"I need you to give him CPR," Don ordered, "every 15 pumps, then stop so I can give him air, then start again," he explained, "climb onto the nearby chair so you can do it."

Raph bit his lip but nodded, quickly climbing on the nearby chair that had held the tray of surgical gear. He climbed up and started giving Mikey several hard pumps on his plastron, knowing he had to press extremely hard to get through their tough plastron.

"Leo, keep an eye out on his pulse, once he's breathing again, we can stop," Donnie said, quickly pumping air into his little brothers' lungs.

He watched with bated breath for a hint or a whisper of air intake on his little brother and nearly fainted in shock when he heard it, "Raph, stop!" he cried out, his hands shaking as he attached the oxygen tank back onto the mask.

Raph's hands were shaking as he carefully got off, Leo helping him sit down on the ground. Donnie quickly checked Mikey's vital, breathing a sigh of relief as he saw he was stable. "Okay, he's good for now. His heart rate is good, weak but it's there. He...he should be fine."

"Are you sure Donnie?" Leo asked, looking up from his comforting gesture over Raph's shaking form.

Donnie nodded, "Yes, his pulse is slowly getting stronger," and smiled, "all I have to do is wrap this up before I sew it shut."

"Sew what up?" April asked faintly.

Donnie turned, catching April's faint and very pale face and immediately called for Casey to give her some water.

He turned back to Mikey, hearing Casey and April talking quietly behind him. Leo was whispering to Raph who seemed to be shaken. Concern filled him as he caught a glance at Raph's shaking form and pale skin.

He glanced over the gaping opening, ensuring that he had patched it all up correctly, still worried as he saw the irritation and redness. He slowly and carefully wrapped up Mikey's shoulder, knowing he would have to sew it shut later on and allow the skin to heal over smoothly.

Donnie quickly grabbed the two IV's, one was blood from Raph to replace the blood he lost and the other was an array of antibiotics to prevent infection and sickness.

He sat down, staring at the dead limb with glassy eyes, "I took his arm," he said softly, his voice haunted.


	23. Recovery

**A/N: YES! I played around with the cord on my comp to get a long enough charge to post and lo and behold, I have another chapter! I hope everyone likes it enough to REVIEW! **

**It would make my day!**

**Anyhoo, gonna try posting a few more chapters of my fics. **

**FYI: November 13 I will be posting my new story: **

**Relapse -Part two of my Skeleton Appetite Fic. Mikey was captured by the Foot. The brothers fight to find him before it's too late! Both Karai and Bishop, who are working together, experiment and taunt Michelangelo by bringing in one of the biggest stressors that led him down his path of self starvation...and he relapses...**

**November 13-**

I will be updating on Skeleton Appetite. Some things will be changed in it, as well as more detailed and not so rushed as it was before. I plan to re-write each chapter, making it better, and more cohesive...as well as adding some changes and changing some parts of the story line. (I'm correcting my own work. LOL)

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

* * *

**Chapter 23**

"Donnie, you tried to save it," April began but Donnie interrupted her, "The entire time I was in the other world and seeing that Mikey, I had asked myself. What happened? How did he lose his arm? How did this happen? And now I see what I did…Mikey…" he stopped, choking up.

"Mikey's limb wasn't taken by an attack…it had to been me…Usagi...and I left...I either died or I ran off…" he said bleakly, "It was why he's was so angry and bitter…" Donnie said as he slowly got to his feet intending to clean up.

"No Donnie, you can't think that," April said sternly, his voice filled with conviction, "That was an alternate world. It wasn't yours! It's what could have happened, not what did happen. Look how it's changed! Mikey didn't tell anyone what happened to him in that world...that might have been what happened," April said concerned.

Donnie frowned in thought, "What do you mean?" confused.

April pulled Donnie to a nearby chair and responded, "Donnie...you told me Mikey was angry, and bitter. That Splinter had died in battle saving you guys. That Leo and Raph were angry with each other, blaming themselves for something so secret that no one would tell you anything. You even told me that you tried getting the story from me and I wouldn't tell you. But look at how the timeline has changed!"

Donnie bit his lip, nodding his head, "Yeah...that's true...Splinter died from stress and sickness...and Raph and Leo banded together now..." and Donnie's eyes widened, "and that means the timeline did change! I didn't disappear and Mikey...because he didn't tell in that one, he only lost part of his arm."

April smiled, "Exactly. That world won't happen. Mikey told. He changed the timeline. It wasn't your fault...technically it was all Usagi's fault for messing with Mikey. If he hadn't done that, then you guys wouldn't have fallen apart and blamed eachother."

Donnie felt his heart quake in relief at the words, understanding now that his brothers in that world had been wracked with anger and grief and not realizing why. _I wonder how long in that world Usagi had been abusing Mikey for... because it's been about 6 months here...and Splinter's gone... Mikey's entire arm is gone. There's just so much that changed..._

* * *

**Mikey 1st Nightmare - (**_Lightly Sedated)_

**_He was trapped on the bed. His arms tied above him. He felt Usagi's hands behind him, tracing the pattern on his shell. He shivered with fear, knowing that Usagi was drawing it out. _**

**"_Please...stop..." he begged, shuddering. _**

**_"Why Michelangelo? Why would I do that? This...is what I want to do..." Usagi's voice said behind him, leaning over him; breathing heavily onto his neck. _**

**_Mikey tugged on the binds that held him in place, tears filling his eyes as he flinched at the touches, "Please...stop...I don't want this...I...I don't like it, please...let me go! I won't tell. Please!" he begged in a broken voice._**

**"_I know you will not tell Michelangelo. I made sure of that..." Usagi said, pressing against him again; making Mikey gasp with remembered fear. _**

**"_W...what do you mean?" Mikey gasped out, trying to pull himself away but was held in place firmly. _**

**_"You are mine...both body and soul. They belong to me. Whatever happens to me, is tied to you. If you tell, chaos will spread through your life... destroying it. And all who you tell will be punished..." Usagi said, grunting as he pushed himself in all the way, chuckling at Mikey's pained cry. _**

**_Mikey started crying softly, grunting as Usagi thrust into him each time, making sure it was painful. There was no pleasure, just pain. _**

**"_Yes Michelangelo...tell no one...and if you do, your father will be the first to go..." Usagi said smoothly, his voice dark and threatening as he became rougher, making Mikey cry out with each thrust. _**

**"_Won't...tell..." Mikey cried out with shame in his heart as he felt Usagi take him harshly. His head dropped and he felt it getting heavy, finally embracing the darkness that came his way. _**

**_Suddenly he felt pain fill his entire left arm, Usagi's screaming voice as something cracked in his shoulder, "DON'T YOU DARE!" Usagi screamed into his ear, yanking on his arm despite it being tied, "YOU WILL ENJOY THIS!" slamming in harder and faster, his pace frenzied and angry. _**

**_Mikey sobbed in pain, his shoulder flaring with agony as he was forced to remain conscious. Usagi's pace increased in speed, causing pain up his spine and all over his body. _**

**_He felt Usagi's release deep inside his body and his head slumped in shame. He screamed again as Usagi leaned over his face, asking, "What do you say Michelangelo for the gift I just gave you?"_**

**_Mikey shuddered, crying out as Usagi wretched his arm again, and sobbed in pain. He heard another crack, screaming in agony as he felt something inside crack again, he broke down, just wanting the pain to stop. He sobbed out, "T...tha...thank...y..you...Usa..Usagi..."_**

**_Usagi jerked out, causing another wave of pain to shoot through Mikey's body. His eyes closed in defeat as he heard Usagi laughing. _**

* * *

**Awake:**

Mikey woke up with a start, his heart pounding in fear as he tried to get away from Usagi, screaming in pain as he thrashed around, terrified Usagi had him again as he felt the pain flare in his shoulder.

_**NO! Please! I didn't tell. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Please don't hurt them!** _He thought as he thrashed on the bed. **_Thank you Usagi, I said Thank you...please... not them..._**

He felt hands touching his shoulders, pushing them down on the bed, pinning him down and he screamed in panic, "NOOOOO, nononono, please, noooo!"

He heard voices screaming his name and he flinched in reaction, crying out as he had tried lifting up his left arm only to feel fire flare in his shoulder and nothing from his arm.

His eyes snapped open and he looked around in a panic. He could see his brothers above him, Donnie's tired eyes looking down at him, calling his name.

He shuddered as he recalled his dream, remembering Usagi's twisted games. Mikey's hand shook as he covered his face, trying to dispel the fear, anger and shame that welled up every time he remembered something.

"Mikey, are you okay?" Donnie asked him worriedly.

Mikey had an urge to laugh hysterically at the question, his eyes glassy and wet, "Am I okay?" and he did. He started laughing at the absurdity of the question, shaking on the bed as his laughter soon turned into sobs.

His brothers were panicked and scared. He could tell as they tried calling his name, trying to comfort him.

Mikey reached out his hand, intending to move it to his lap when he realized he couldn't feel it. He froze, his eyes widening, tears frozen as he stared at his shoulder.

_**It's gone...it's fuckin' gone..**._ His mind seem to slowly shut down as he saw the bandaged shoulder.

He reached over, ignoring his brothers voices as he touched the bandage, the pain flared up like fire as he said hauntingly, "Figures...every time I wake up, something is taken from me...am I in another nightmare?"

**_He didn't mean to say that out loud or even voice those thoughts_**. He was startled when he heard Raph's voice ask, "Wha' da fuck does tha' mean?"

Mikey glanced up, looking blankly at Raph, blinking with confusion. **_Am I dreaming? Is this another nightmare or am I really awake? It seems to real to be a dream..._**

His heart pounded frantically as he looked around, praying that he wasn't wrong and that he was dreaming. "Where is Master Splinter?" Mikey asked, glancing around thinking, **_He should be here, right? This was all some sick dream...please...right? W...where is he?_**

He saw his brothers glance at each other, obviously upset at his words, flashes of grief and pain enveloping them. Mikey was startled when he felt the strong emotions flare up.

Memories flowed through his mind, reminding him of what had happened the last few months and he felt his body shaking as he tried to control his emotions.

"Mikey...what was the last thing you remember?" Donnie asked him slowly, concern etched on his face.

Mikey frowned, staring at him, the memories cascading in his mind; remembering Usagi's betrayal, Splinter's death and his last breakdown.

He started shaking his head, "No...please..." he whispered weakly, closing his eyes in pain as he sat back against his pillows, wincing as his shoulders slumped.

His eyes started to close and he relished the darkness.

"Mikey, can you hear me?" Donnie asked, clearly worried now.

"I can hear ya...just tired..." Mikey said sadly, shaking his head, "just tired of it all..." and he let his eyes close, allowing his body to shut down despite his brothers cries.

2222222222222222222222222

**Mikey's 2nd Nightmare**

**"_I told you!" Usagi said with a laugh, "This is a hold even you cannot get out of!"_**

**_Mikey grunted, trying to slip out of the hold Usagi had on him. He glared, "I'll get out!" he said as he tried to move. _**

**_Usagi had him pinned against the ground, his plastron flat against the mats. He grunted, trying to shift to the side. He stiffened when he felt one of Usagi's paws slide up his thigh. "W..what are you doing?"_**

**_Usagi chuckled, "Just trying to find a pressure point," he said behind him, his paw running up and down his leg, moving dangerously close to his private area. _**

**_Mikey felt uncomfortable with the caress, trying to shift Usagi off of him, "Well, I give, now get off of me!"_**

**_Usagi chuckled, he did one more caress, making Mikey shiver once more before getting up. "I told you Second Earth's combat was superior to this Earth."_**

**_Mikey frowned, feeling strangely uncomfortable around Usagi as he dusted himself off. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that...what was with that last move?" he said scowling._**

**"_I was trying to locate a pressure point in the upper legs. I could not find it," Usagi said with a shrug, "It is a move that is popular on Second Earth. Is it not to your liking?"_**

**_Mikey shrugged, "Was strange, that's all."_**

**_Usagi chuckled again, wrapping an arm around Mikey's neck, ignoring the tensing of the shoulders as they walked from the dojo. "Everything is strange to you my friend."_**

**_Mikey scowled, shrugging his arm off and stalking away._**

**_He heard Leo talking to Usagi as he left and he was glad he wasn't followed this time. 'He gives me the creeps...why doesn't he do that to them?' he thought as he went to his room. _**

**_Standing in his room, he still felt uncomfortable and was confused by that. He bit his lip, walking to Donnie's room. He knocked on the lab door, waiting as he finally heard Donnie's answering call to 'come in'. _**

**"_Hey Donnie...I just had a question," Mikey said with a troubled smile. _**

**"_What's up Mike?" Donnie said with a smile. _**

**_Mikey shrugged, plopping himself down onto a chair, "Not much...just had a question about Usagi."_**

**"_Well, what is it?" Donnie asked, looking up from the computer. _**

**"_Well, when I was sparring with Usagi...he liked...touched my legs...like...near.. .my ya know..." Mikey said stuttering out. _**

**"_Did he say why?" Donnie asked curiously, looking back at his computer, continuing to type. _**

**"_He said it was a move from Second Earth, and that he was reaching for a pressure point," Mikey explained, looking up nervously. _**

**"_Well, there are several pressure points in the leg that can incapacitate a person in combat," Donnie said, "so it's probably true. Why? Did that make you feel uncomfortable?"_**

**_"Well, yeah," Mikey said, "but I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing," he said with a shrug. "Anyway, what'cha making?" he asked as he walked over to the nearby table. _**

**"_Leave it Mikey," Donnie said testily. _**

**"_Aw, but Donnie," Mikey whined. _**

**"_No, take off. Go practice with the others or something...it'll be good if you got rid of that energy. Okay?" Donnie said, getting up as he pushed Mikey out of the room, "now go!"_**

**_Mikey stumbled as he was pushed out the door, crashing into Usagi as he fell. His eyes widened in surprise and he scrambled to his feet, "Sorry Usagi. "And he was about to run. _**

**_"It is not a problem, Michelangelo. Would you like to join me on a training run?" Usagi asked with a grin. _**

**_Mikey was about to decline, but Leo's hand on his shoulder killed his protest. "Go ahead, Mikey. It'll do you some good, and you can show Usagi some of our shortcuts."_**

**_Mikey was once again about to protest, but Leo was backed up by Splinter. He followed Usagi on the request of his family. _**

* * *

A week Later:

Mikey was haunted by memories of Usagi's...memories he wished wouldn't return or consume his very being. He shuddered in disgust, feeling dirty as he opened his eyes slowly, staring at the nearby wall with a sigh. **W_hy didn't I tell anyone..._**he thought with a defeated spirit. _**I deserve it... **_

"Mikey, are you okay?" Donnie asked him in concern.

Mikey glanced at him, cocking his head to the side, contemplating if he should really answer before he finally said, "No," and turning back towards the wall.

Donnie was silent for a moment, looking perplexed. Finally he spoke again, "Are you in any pain?"

Mikey nearly laughed at the question, shaking his head with a sigh, "Donnie, I'm always in pain...my arm may be gone but my shoulder hurts like Shell."

Donnie looked upset with the answer but held his tongue, "Well, I can give you some medicine that would take away the pain."

Mikey retorted with a sigh, "Can it take away mental pain as well?"

Donnie gasped, inhaling sharply as he stared at him in fear and concern. He looked ready to say something, staring at him while biting his lip.

Mikey stared back, his eyes even felt strangely hollow as he glanced at his older brother, watching, waiting to see of Donnie could take it all away.

Mikey frowned as he felt the fear and guilt coming from Donnie, before he reached out with his remaining arm, touching him.

**_Guilt, anger, shame and frustration, and underlining all of it, was a deep hatred towards someone..._ **

Mikey immediately let go, cringing on the bed as he pulled his emotions back into the metal ball he created in his mind to help control his own emotions while trying to make sense of the emotions he just felt from Donnie.

He fell back against the bed, gasping with surprise and fear, his eyes flashing in concern as he glanced up at Donnie.

"Dude..." he said panting, "What was that?"

Donnie shook his head, his eyes narrowing in suspicion and fear. Mikey felt the fear spike in Donnie and eyes widen in realization that 'fear' was about him. '_**Donnie is scared of me!**'_ he thought in surprise, his eyes shooting up to Donnie for confirmation.

Donnie looked upset, "Did you just sense my emotions without my permission?" he asked curtly.

Mikey shook his head, "Dude, I was feeling it long before I touched you...what the shell is that about?"

Don glared angrily, "None of your business," he said as he stormed over to a cupboard, handing a bottle of pills to Mikey, "Take two of these. Water's on the table. Enjoy," and stormed out.

Mikey bit his lip, watching Donnie worriedly as he left. **_I thought they were taught to keep their shields up...why can I feel his anger and hatred? Is he angry with me? Is it me that he hates? _** He wondered as he checked the bottle_, **It must be...who else could he be angry at... this is all my fault...**_

His eyes widened as he saw it was Morphine. **_I don't think Donnie wanted me to have this one...but it does hurt...one should help..._**

Mikey popped open the top of the container after a minute of fighting with the lid, he poured it out onto his blanket. He then remembered he didn't have his two hands anymore as picked up two pills and shook his head bitterly, _**I almost...almost** forgot..._ as he glanced at his shoulder, shuddering as his entire body felt gross and disgusting. The feeling of hands brushed along him for a moment as he tried to forget the memories trying to engulf his mind. _  
_

**_Two should help a lot...get rid of his hands...need to get rid of his hands...please... _**He glanced at the half filled cup beside him and sighed deeply. He popped the two pills into his mouth, and then grabbed the glass, downing a portion of it.

He stared at the remaining fifteen pills, contemplating whether or not he should just take them all and be done with it. He counted out the rest of the pills, counting it several times, his mind slowly getting hazy as he enjoyed the sensations...and this overwhelming desire growing in his mind.

_**Wow...these...are...good...n...no pain...**_ he thought with a smile before it turned into a frown. _**Usagi made me feel good with this stuff...medicine... made the pain go away...the memories went away...**_

He frowned, the pain and anguish he felt was slowly going away but he was terrified for it to come back. _**If...if...I take it all...no more...no more pain...ever again...**_

He palmed the pills, playing with them in his hands as he eyed them hungrily. **_Almost like candy...maybe...the pain will go away...right..._**

He then threw open his mouth, feeling them touch his tongue and was about to swallow when all of a sudden the door was slammed open and Leo stood there with Donnie, looking shocked and full of fear.

Mikey reacted slowly as he forced himself to swallow, lifting up the glass from earlier and swallowing the last of it. "Duuuude..." he said with a grin, "joooiinnn the paaarrrtttyyy..." and giggled.

Don's eyes widened in sudden fear as he saw the empty container and no pills on the bed, "Mikey, how many did you take?" Donnie asked worriedly. He ran forward, picking up the now empty bottle, his eyes widened, "You didn't!" he cried in fear.

Mikey frowned as he felt the fear envelop the brainy turtle and shook his head sadly, "Duuude...don't worry...be...haaappy," he said slurring.

"I have to worry Mikey, you just tried to kill yourself!" Donnie snapped angrily, yanking over cupboards before he found what he was looking for.

"Swallow this," he said angrily, walking over to Mikey, forcing his mouth open, and pouring in some Ipecac.

Mikey recoiled, recalling Usagi doing the same to him, but this time it was Donnie who was forcing him to drink a liquid. The liquid went into his mouth and he coughed, choking as it hit the back of his throat. **_NO! Stop! Stop! _**

Memories of being forced to drink those drinks of Usagi's, swallowing his essence, memories of being held down and back as he was forced to swallow as he tried to fight back. **_NO! I don't want him in me...get him out...no...I'll be good...stop... please...no..._**

He froze in fear when Leo yelled out, "NOW SWALLOW!" and having been raised since he was younger to obey Leo's command, quickly obeyed his words in his fear.**_  
_**

Suddenly Mikey had the urge to throw up, gagging harshly before his stomach heaved forward, and he threw up everything as he fell forward. His eyes watered painfully and he hacked into the bucket that was magically in front of him.

**_No...no...why are you stopping me...stop it...please..._**

Donnie held a bucket in front of his mouth, talking angrily as he threw up, ignoring his whimpers of pain as his body rejected the medicine.

Mikey wanted the darkness to claim him as he shivered as memories cascaded through his mind. **_Stop it, I don't want it. Please...Usagi...Please... I'll be good. No more...don't...no...nonononono..._**

Suddenly, his body started to convulse and his eyes rolled back **_Please don't let me wake_** **up..**as he gave into the darkness.


	24. Breaking Down

**Well, another chapter will be added later tonight or tomorrow! Hope you enjoy!**

**This is for OrangeBarmy!**

* * *

**Chapter 24**

_Why? Why did he do it? I mean...had he finally just...reached his limit? What caused him to react that way...to try and end his life? _Leo thought as he watched over Mikey's slumbering body.

_This is useless...how can I begin to help him heal if he doesn't let us help him? _ Leo bit his lip as he got to his feet, starting to pace as it helped eased some of his anxiety. _Why? Donnie said he was feeling better...and that his arm...well...shoulder was healing fine. What... what caused it?_

Leo wished he had his father's guidance at the moment. He was tired and exhausted, and extremely confused on how to help his baby brother live. _How do you convince someone they need to live when they don't want to?_

"Wha' you mean he tried ta end his life? Why would he wanna do tha'?" Raph bellowed, pissed off as he was about to go and tear into his little brother.

Donnie quickly grabbed his arm, pulling him back, "Right now, that is the wrong thing to do!" he retorted angrily, "now you need to understand that Mikey is having a lot of trouble dealing with this situation and has lost a lot."

April spoke softly, "But Donnie, for him to contemplate...doesn't that mean we pretty much lost this battle to heal him?"

Donnie's head throbbed as he looked near tears when Leo finally spoke up, sparing his brother the trouble of trying to explain this situation, "Raph, enough, this situation is getting worse and we need to figure out a way to help Mikey heal."

"How Leo, how da hell can we heal 'im when he don't even talk ta us?" Raph replied, his voice filled a type of anguish that seem to affect him even worse than Splinter's death. He stared through the door at his younger brother's slumbering body, wishing that he could bring a small part of his little brother back.

"Well, talking isn't helping. What did we let him do before?" Leo asked his brothers.

"He wrote in that journal," Donnie whispered with a sigh.

Leo flinched in remembrance of tearing that journal in half, and telling Mikey he had to work with Usagi. _That was the start...that...why? Why did I do something so horrible?_ Leo's guilt grew as he realized that and almost didn't hear Raph's angry response.

"—do that? He lost 'is arm and he don't write wit' da other!" he retorted angrily.

"I don't think a journal will help right now anyway. The last time he had his journal, I ruined it and I don't think I can help him. What we need to do is figure out a way to get Mikey to talk to us. How can we help?" Leo asked his brothers.

"I don't know," Donnie said with a sigh, "He's depressed but he's not opening up."

Raph glared at his brothers, "I want ta take him wit' me," he said with a calm tone, "I got a plan."

"What's your plan Raph?" Leo asked curiously.

"Ya ain't gonna like it so I won't tell ya but just trust me, okay?" Raph said seriously, "I think I know a way to get through ta him but ya gotta trust me wit it."

Leo and Don glanced at eachother before the nodded their heads. "We trust you Raph. What do you need?"

Raph smiled and told them to round up some supplies for a 5 day hike into the woods. It needed to be easy and light because he wasn't going to allow Mikey to carry much. Just walk about 3 hours away into a small clearing.

They agreed but Don smiled and said, "How about Leo brings all the stuff ahead of time and has it set up, and you both can walk that way. Mikey might need some help, or even be carried when he gets tired."

"Alright, tha' sounds good. I'm gonna git him and his shit together first," and in the next few hours, they set out on their tasks.

* * *

When Mikey woke up, it was to a pounding head and a sore throat which was also very thirsty. _What happened?_ He wondered blearily as he glanced around the room.

He sighed, pushing himself upwards when everything came rushing back to him.

**_Something shoved into his mouth...down his throat...Leo ordering him to swallow..._ **

Mikey cringed as he remembered his pathetic attempt at killing himself. _**See...I really am useless...**_he thought in disgust.

As he glanced around he saw he was alone, which was a surprise to him. It wasn't often that he was left alone. Usually his brothers or even April and Casey took turns watching him.

As he laid back on the bed, contemplating the memories he recalled before he passed out, he felt this overwhelming wash of shame and disgust growing over him, and this feeling of dirtiness seem to cover his body.

He shivered, wishing he could wash up.

Suddenly, Raph walked in and as he glanced up, he saw Raph smiling. He wished he could smile back. The only thing going through his heavy heart of shame and guilt was, _Why did they save me?_

"Hey Mikey, how ya feelin'?" Raph asked him, sitting on a nearby chair.

Mikey frowned, staring at him carefully before he answered in a raspy voice that needed some water, "Dirty."

Raph's face colored slightly as he fumbled for a cup of water, spilling a little by accident, "Well, you can take a shower if ya need to."

Mikey shook his head, "Nah...it don't wash away," he whispered, taking the glass with a nodded head, and drank it down.

Mikey watched his twin brother, somewhat surprised Raph hadn't asked him anything about what he did yet.

Raph was silent at the words and sighed deeply before saying, "Well, yur a big boy now. Ya can git up and wash yourself," he said bitterly.

Mikey flinched at the words but nodded his head, he deserved those words. He whimpered as he got up, his legs shaking slightly from lack of use. He had been confined to bed for awhile and relished escaping.

As he took his first few steps without help, he wondered why he felt lopsided.

When he commented this to Raph, his brother replied sadly, "It's cuz ya lost ya arm Mike...the weight of it is gone."

Mikey glanced at the spot where his arm ended, touching the now healed skin, amazed that Donnie had made it look like it was naturally gone instead of having had it chopped off.

He touched the smooth spot with a shiver, only a small thin line that showed where it had been stitched together, was the only thing differencing it from his normal skin.

Mikey sighed as he let his right arm drop, tears filling his eyes before he pushed them back.

"I'm gonna take a shower. Is it okay if I eat something after?" He asked in a small voice.

"Yeah, ya don't gotta ask ta eat Mikey. Just get some grub," Raph said with a sigh, "But hurry up, we got a task ta do."

Mikey frowned but nodded his head before he made his way to the bedroom.

As he turned the water on, he smiled as he felt the hot water. Stepping underneath, he nearly melted at the hot water scalding his skin once more. He could almost feel it cleansing him.

As he washed his body desperately trying to forget Usagi's paws crawling over him, it worked for moments before he remembered it all over again.

_Why can't he just stop haunting me?_ He thought painfully as he washed his skin. It was a little weird since his arm was gone and the smooth skin felt really odd to him.

As he finally left the shower as the water became cold, he sighed, wondering what Raph was going to do this time. As he shuffled out of the bathroom, he started shivering slightly from the cool air while making his way to his room.

Quickly drying off, he pulled a hoodie and a pair of pants that April got them for being in the cool air of the mountains. _What do I do with this?_ He wondered, annoyed with the flapping sleeve that held no arm.

Picking up a pair of scissors, he frowned as he tried to cut the sleeve off, wincing as he accidently jabbed himself. Throwing the scissors across the room in a angered haste, he felt this intense feeling seem to overwhelm him. He felt like screaming.

"Mikey, come get some grub!" Raph yelled out from down the hallway.

Mikey sighed but quickly left his room. He felt immensely better after his shower and felt nearly normal for the first time in a long time and he laughed bitterly, "As normal as I can get."

He entered the kitchen, hesitating slightly as he saw April and Casey sitting there. He wasn't sure what to make of April or Casey, wondering if they saw him as weak or useless.

That thought was confirmed as soon as Casey vacated his seat, offering it to him while April jumped towards the store, saying, "Sit down Mikey, I'll get you a plate."

Mikey wanted to protest the treatment but hesitated for a moment. Casey spoke, "Ya can have my seat Mike, ya need it more than I do."

Mikey bristled at the concern and said curtly, "I'm fine Casey, I can take a different seat. April, I can get my own plate. I'm not helpless."

Everyone froze at the words.

Finally April spoke, "Mikey, we're just trying to help," she said sadly, putting the plate she had pulled out down on the counter.

"I appreciate that April but I can do it," he said scowling, "And Casey, thanks but I'll go sit in the livingroom."

"But Mikey," April started again, walking over, placing a hand on Mikey's arm, "Let us take care of you."

Mikey flinched violentely at the touch, shuddering as memories cascaded to his mind but he pushed them away as he stared at April, trying to quell the urge to scream at her.

"Don't touch me," he said coldly, his voice low and wavering with fear.

April's hand moved off his arm and she stepped back, hurt clear on her face.

Donnie spoke up angrily, "Mikey! We're just trying to help you adapt with losing your arm and helping you heal faster. Just take the help," he ordered.

Mikey bristled at Donnie's tone and glared at him, "WHY SHOULD I? It's your fault my arm is gone in the first place!" he lashed out angrily.

"Mikey!" Donnie whispered hurt, "I didn't want to but..."

Mikey finally had enough of being coddled, "I DON'T NEED HELP! What I need is you guys to just leave me alone!" he yelled out angrily, "Why the hell did you save me anyway? I didn't want to be saved! I wanted this to end! WHY!?"

He saw his brother's eyes widen at his screams and April's gasp as she moved away.

"Mikey," he heard Raph's beseeching voice call to him and Mikey was so tired of containing his pain and lashed out, "NO! You can't change my mind! Do you think I want to stay and remember his hands on me! The feeling of his fur along my skin as he made me beg him, telling him that I had to thank him each and every time! I hate myself. I loathe who I am and I just wanted it all to end and you stopped me!" Mikey sobbed out, his emotions going haywire as it seem to explode outward, his brothers and friends hitting the ground in pain.

Mikey sobbed as he saw he was hurting his friends and brothers, and once again pulled his emotions back. He couldn't hurt them.

He quickly pulled back his pain before he turned and ran from the room, ignoring the shouts of his brothers behind him.

He ran fast and hard, gasping for air as he collapsed in the barn.

He breathed slowly, trying to get his breathing under control when he heard a footstep behind him. He tensed, turning around as he glanced through blurred and tear-filled eyes to see his brother Raph staring at him with worry...and pity it seem.

"Don't pity me...I'm not worth that," he whispered bitterly.

"Mikey, please, talk to me..." Raph said as he came in and sat down.

Mikey stared at his brother, wanting and longing to talk to him. He shook his head, choking on the gulp of pain that was bubbling to the surface.

"Mikey...please...jist share it...it's killin' ya ta keep it in..." Raph whispered.

Mikey glanced up, staring at his twin with such longing to let go.

"Share it wit' me...I swear...I won't leave ya," Raph whispered, engulfing his brother into a hug.

Mikey tensed at the hug, staring at Raph as he started shaking his head, a whimper leaving his mouth before a sob broke out.

"Raphie...I...I...can't..." he said, whimpering as he tried to hold it together, his body shaking slightly.

"Ya can Mikey...just let go...tell me...I ain't runnin' from you...and I ain't leaving ya behind. I love ya Mikey...nuthin' can make tha' stop," Raph said as he hugged him tightly, "let it go bro...I'm here..."

Mikey broke down, his sobs filling the room as he dropped the shield around him, allowing it to connect with Raph's soothing spirit, his cries increasing as he finally dropped his shield.


	25. Safe

**For OrangeBarmy...please update Lies! LOL**

* * *

**Chapter 25**

Raph's POV

_He couldn't believe it. So much pain...Mikey...why didn't ya show us this?_ He wondered as he held his little brother, cradling him gently as if was a fragile flower about to die.

_He is..._ Raph thought with a frown, wiping his little brothers tear-streaked cheeks, wincing as he saw him flinch at the actions.

_I'm gonna kill tha' bunny._

There was silence for a bit longer when he noticed the change of Mikey's cries tapering off, a small sigh released as Mikey's eyes closed in exhaustion and he passed out.

Raph flinched as he felt Mikey's shield start wrapping his emotions back up, pulling them away from him. Gently, he placed his hand on his arm, whispering, "I ain't letting go Mikey. It's okay...let it go...and I'll catch ya..."

He pushed his emotions through his hand, sending pulses of his love and care into his baby brother, trying to show him that he wasn't alone.

He was startled when he heard a faint whisper, "_Love ya Raphie..."_

"Mikey, I love ya too," Raph said roughly, trying not to break down and cry.

Mikey's shield dropped and he hugged his brother to his plastron, "I never gonna let ya fall..."

* * *

Raph sighed as he gently picked his brother up from the ground of the barn. _Damn, he's light..._ he thought as he carried him into the house.

"Is he okay?" Donnie asked immediately, running over intending to check him over.

Raph shook his head, "Leave him be. He's jist tired."

Donnie stepped back, biting his lip in concern but nodded. "I...I'll be right here..."

"I ain't coming back down. I'm stayin' wit Mikey. Is everythin' set up ova' at tha' site?" Raph questioned as he lugged Mikey up the stairs.

"Leo left shortly after you left with Mike to set everything up and make sure you won't have to carry much." Donnie explained, following behind, "Why can we still feel his pain?"

"I tol' him to share it Donnie...he ain't been sharin' it at all since it all happened... he shouldn't be holdin' it all back. It's been killing him," Raph explained as he laid Mikey on the bed.

Donnie nodded, biting his lip, he whispered, "You're right."

Raph turned around, seeing Donnie's dejected form and he frowned, "Hey...wha' wrong wit you?"

"I'm just making things worse Raph. I saved his life but I cost him his arm. I tried healing his mind but I'm not helping. There's nothing I can do to help him," Donnie explained, shaking his head in despair.

Raph sometimes hated not knowing what the right answer was and knew that he was in new territory for himself. He glanced at Mikey with a sigh, turning to Don, "Ya git tha' thought tha' you cost 'im his arm. Ya didn't make it sick, and ya certainly didn't break it in tha' first place. Bunny boy did tha', and we're gonna make him pay."

Donnie's eyes hardened at hte mention of Usagi's nickname and he nodded, "We will get him, right Raph?"

"I swear Donnie, we will make him pay. He took somethin' tha was pure and special ta Mikey. We can't get tha' feelin' back but we'll do our damnest ta heal 'im," Raph said sternly, "I already got meself a plan tha' jist might bring him back. Give me time."

"How long?" Donnie questioned, looking worriedly at Mikey, "the weather is supposed to be clear and warm for the next ten days...are you thinking longer?"

"Nah, tha' sounds good. I was thinkin' a week or so. I'm hoping tha I can help him...he needs some space...and some time. Give tha' to me," Raph said sternly, "Ya need to figure things out here wit Leo anyway. I wouldn't mind some items from da lair."

Donnie nodded, his eyes lighting with understanding, "You got it Raph."

Raph grinned, "Now go get some grub ready for us ta go, okay?"

Donnie nodded, quickly leaving the room with a smile, "Okay bro."

Raph quickly sat down with Mikey, staying close but not touching his brother, respecting his privacy.

* * *

"_No, please...I'll be good..."_

"_They do not love you...once they find you thank me for my service...they will throw you away...you are nothing but refuse...nothing..."_

"_They love me..." _

"_They have never loved you...they don't even want you...why do you think Raphael chases you away...or why Donatello refused to allow you in his lab. Even Leonardo and Splinter-san do not like to let you in their rooms...when was the last time you were invited in!?"_

_Sobbing, "N...not true..."_

_Paws caressing skin...flowing slowly up his arms...making a path to his plastron...sliding gently down the middle...making him shudder..._

"_When Michelangelo...have they let you in...invited you... they have made you come to me... have allowed me to take you... each and every time... they pushed you to me... and now... you belong to me..." _

_Usagi's dark chuckle as he pushed his legs apart..._

"_No...no no no please...please..." he begged as his legs were yanked apart, paws grabbing his thighs..._

"_NONONO"_

* * *

"Nononononono," Mikey sobbed as he pushed himself up off the bed, his legs clutched together as he glanced around in fear, tears falling down his cheeks as he saw a dark shadow near his bed.

His breathing quickened, breathing in harshly as he scrambled backwards as he clutched his legs to his plastron, whimpering, "Nonononono, please...nono," he whispered, shaking his head as he rocked himself back and forth.

"Mikey?" he heard from the shadows, making him pant for air as he begged, "No.. please... no...please..." he begged.

"Mikey, it's Raph. No one else is in the room. You're safe," Raph repeated, keeping his voice low and even.

" ...no...I'm alone..." Mikey whispered, his eyes peeking open, whimpering as he saw the shadows in the room.

Raph frowned, seeing Mikey's hesitating eyes. "I'm gunna turn tha' light on, okay...I want ya ta cover yur eyes so they don't hurt...okay..."

Mikey hesitated but complied, his eyes covered with his hands. He heard a small click and the light against his eyelids as he slowly opened them, blinking at the soft light that showed the room, the shadows falling away.

He saw his older brother sitting nearby, a small distance away, watching him with concern in his dark eyes.

"Raph?" he whispered, glancing around once more, "what...what happened?"

"You had a nightmare," Raph said as he knelt down on the floor, one knee up as he slid slightly closer, seeing Mikey tense slightly at the action, his eyes still a little confused.

"A nightmare," Mikey whispered, shaking his head sadly, "no...not a nightmare...memories..." as he tried to choke back a sob.

Raph gave him a moment before he finally spoke, "Ya wanna share?"

Mikey glanced up, hesitating before he spoke, "I...I don't know..." he said as he bit his lip, looking at Raph with fear.

"Why not?" Raph asked simply, actually curious about why Mikey refused.

"You'll hate me Raphie..." Mikey whispered, tears filling his eyes.

"I could never hate ya Mike. I love ya, and nuthin' can change tha'!" Raph replied in a strong but confident voice.

Mikey stared at him for a moment, his eyes widening as he realized his shield was down and Raph wasn't recoiling from him!

He reached out tentantively, "Y...you...you aren't scared of me?" almost flinching in response of Raph's hand lightly gripping his.

"No Mike...I can feel ya hurtin...and I wanna help you," Raph said slowly, inching closer, smiling as Mikey didn't flinch this time, "Ya can heal Mike...but only if ya let us help ya."

Mikey started to shake his head in denial when Raph's hand came into contact with his shoulder, strength and confidence and a large surge of love and comfort went through his very body. He glanced at Raph, hopeful and wary, wondering if this was true.

"I'm gunna be 'ight here Mikey...I ain't leavin' ya alone," Raph whispered, embracing Mikey into a hug.

Mikey tensed for a moment as Raph's arm wrapped around him before relaxing as he recognized Raph's scent and spirit, he slowly spoke, "Raphie..."

"Yeah Mike?" Raph replied in his gruff tone of voice.

"My...my d..dream...i..it was U...u..Usagi..." and Mikey broke down, clutching his brother tightly as the memory washed over him again, his fear rapidly building in the room.

Raph countered the feelings with his own confidence and love, "Go ahead Mikey...I ain't runnin'," he replied.

Mikey looked up at his older brother, tears falling down his own pale cheeks as he saw the strength in his brother, wishing he had his own. _Why can't I be as strong as him?_

"Mikey, ya strong...I know you are. If ya weren't, than you wouldn't have tol' us about Bunny boy or even tha' Admiral guy," Raph said sternly, "Your strong Mikey...stronger than all of us..."

Mikey started to shake his head in denial, speaking his memory, "Y..your wrong...you're wrong Raphie..." glancing away in shame, "he...he was holding me down... t..telling...telling me that...you...you didn't want me...that... that I was his...and I didn't stop him...he...he pushed my legs apart..."

Raph's grip tightened on his, stabalizing his already haywire emotions, "Mikey, it's okay now. You're safe. I ain't gonna let anything touch ya again. I swear Mikey..."

"B..but.." Mikey stammered, tears running down his cheeks as he glanced up once more at Raph, wondering if it was true.

"No Mikey, it ain't true. We nevah drove ya into Usagi's arms...and tha times he did git ya alone... we were trapped too... the Daimyo's healers tole us tha' we were suffering from memory and emotional damaging... Usagi messed wit us too."

Mikey's eyes widened in fear, his heart quickening in all amounting terror as he heard the words, "H...he didn't...oh god...he didn't..." but the words were choked up in his throat as he closed his eyes in terror, trying to get free, failure building in his very core.

_I didn't protect them! I didn't...he lied...he lied... all that...he lied..._

"MIKEY!" he heard from very far away and his eyes opened as he saw the blurred image of his brother.

"He didn't touch us like you... I promise... he messed wit our minds but he didn't touch us...I swear to you," Raph said, inwardly cursing himself for the huge misunderstanding.

He saw Mikey's whispered words, so faint he couldn't hear them but he read his lips, 'My fault,' and his heart burned with anger but he quelled it, not angry at his brother but angry at Usagi. _I'm gonna kill tha' son of a bitch..._

He hurriedly wrapped his arms back around Mikey, ignoring the tense body, repeating over and over, "He didn't touch us Mikey, I promise."

It took another 40 minutes to calm Mikey down before he finally let go. He saw his younger brother was exhausted and worn out and commented, "How about ya git some sleep or somethin' ta eat...I wanna take ya somewhere."

Mikey nodded, a yawn escaping him as he got to his feet with some help. His stomach rumbled and he knew he should eat. "'Kay Raphie..." he said, a weak smile pasted on his face, feeling lighter than he ever felt before.

Raph smiled.


	26. Planning

**A/N: To all those following my stories, I thank you all for all the reviews. **

**Sadly, I have to report some bad news. I had promised to post the second part of **

**Skeleton Appetite Part 2 on Nov 13, but unfortunately, I just...can't bring myself to post it. **

**Recently, a friend of mine passed away under suspicious circumstances due to gang related violence. **

**She was the one helping me write the story, many of her idea and mine, helped work the story together and she was quite excited about writing it. It was a collaboration that I just...I can't post at this time. **

**RIP Alvine 2012**

**I'm sorry to those who were looking forward to it, and I'm sorry it's not being posted. I need some time to think about what to do next. **

I will be working on Hidden Betrayals, Blue Eyes, Exhaustion and Not Good Enough solely right now. I might post a few one shots in the future.

Thanks for understanding.

* * *

Chapter 26

Donnie sighed as he finished packing the first aid kit, just in case.

"Hey Donnie," he heard from behind him. Smiling, he turned, seeing April and Casey standing there but frowned as he noticed how haggard they looked.

"Guys, are you okay?" he asked immediately, walking towards them.

"Yeah, we're fine Donnie...just..." Casey stopped, wondering how to explain why they were feeling that way.

April sighed, shaking her head, her red hair shaking free from the bun it was in, "Donnie...we don't have shields like you do...Mikey's emotions...are taking a toll on us."

Donnie's eyes widened, "Oh, I had no idea," he said, worry growing, "Maybe you should head to the city for a few days."

April started to shake her head 'No', "We want to stick around...you guys need support to," she said.

"Ya man, it's hard but we jist need ta figure out somethin' on how ta not be so affected..." Casey said, sitting down on a nearby chair, "Mikey's emotions are pretty stressful."

Donnie nodded, rubbing the back of his head nervously, "Yeah...well, how about you take the night at the motel in the town nearby so you can get some rest. By the time you get back, Mikey will be with Raph in the woods so you can come back and help out."

Suddenly the door opened and Leo stepped in, yawning as he place a empty bag down nearby, "Hey guys..." but stopped his motion towards to couch as he saw April's and Casey's haggard looks, "What's going on?"

They took turns explaining their concern and how they were handling Mikey's emotions that seem to emanate inside the entire house.

"Well, you're right. Me and Donnie are trained to contain our own shields that help prevent just how harsh Mikey's emotions hit. You two might need to go to the hotel just for the night. Get some rest. We plan to go to the lair while Raph is with Mikey and start packing up," Leo explained with a sigh.

"Are you guys ready for that?" April asked in concern, "Would you like some help?"

Leo closed his eyes slightly in remembrance of their home before he sighed deeply, plopping down on the couch, "Help is greatly appreciated April...maybe you can gather everyone together to meet us later?"

April nodded, smiling confidently, "Yes, I can call everyone tonight at the motel."

"Motel? Ya guys are gonna go to a motel?" Raph's voice came from the stairs as he plodded down tiredly.

"How are you doing Raph?" Donnie interrupted, looking worriedly at him, "You look tired...you should also have something to eat and drink."

Raph nodded, "Ya, I'll git to tha' in a minute. Ya guys are gonna go to a motel?" he looked closely at Casey, "Ya look like shit Casey. Ya sick or somethin'."

Donnie huffed at the dismissal, soon disappearing into the kitchen and they heard the sounds of him opening the fridge.

Raph sighed, walking to the couch and sitting down beside Leo on the couch.

Casey replied as he sat down, shaking his head, "Ya can't feel it?" commenting at the overwhelming sadness and fear that seem to fill the entire house. Other feelings were there but those were the two most felt.

"Ya, it's jist Mikey...just use your shield," Raph said, smiling as Don returned with a plate of sandwiches and three bottles of water.

"One sandwich and bottle is for Mikey, but the rest are yours Raph. Eat it, you need your strength," Donnie ordered as he sat on the opposite chair from the couch.

Raph dug in, quickly gulping down a sandwich. There was a silence for a moment as they allowed Raph a moment to eat.

Finally, Leo spoke, explaining what they were talking about before finishing with, "How is Mikey?"

Raph swallowed a gulp of water, smiling slightly, "He tried containin' his emotions again but I stopped 'im. I told 'im tha' he shouldn't do tha'. Tha' it was hurtin' 'im ta contain it and not speak about it. He's doing better but I think I got through ta 'im a bit."

Leo's eyes lit up with excitement and he leaned forward, "Really Raph? He was..." he faltered for a moment, eyes haunted from the memory of Mikey's suicide attempt, "he was really bad Raph. Are you sure you got through to him?"

Raph shrugged, finishing his last sandwich, "I don't know yet Leo...but I got t'is feelin' I'm closer than before."

"So what do you want us to do?" Donnie asked, "It seems like you're able to get through to him but what should we do to help?"

"Well, ya said ya were gonna go pack up tha' lair. Make sure ya git my box in da wall behind my bed. It got my personal stuff in there, and Casey, shut your mouth! It ain't like that," Raph said, his face red as Casey laughed out loud.

April slapped Casey on the arm, shushing him while Raph explained, making sure April knew he wasn't like that, "It got my first weapons and all da things I made or presents I got before, ya nutjob. I ain't like tha'!"

Leo glared at Casey, "Shush Casey."

There was silence in the room as Casey quietly apologized.

"I'm gonna go check up on Mikey, Leo...I take it yur gonna do Masta' Splinter's room?" Raph asked gently.

Leo choked up, overwhelming grief hit his heart and his shield dropped as he remembered the pain of his death. A tear slipped free as he nodded his head, "Yeah..." he whispered painfully.

"Well, can...can ya make sure..." Raph faltered as he choked on the sob growing in his throat, "can you make sure his photos...are gathered? ...H...he hid some in a tin box...hidden behind Master Yoshi's picture in da wall..."

Leo nodded, blinking quickly to dissipate the tears falling down his cheeks as he suddenly stood up, "Of course," he choked out, needing some air, "I...I'll make sure I get everything..." before he left the room.

Raph looked guilty at his words, glancing at Donnie in concern, apologizing, "I..I didn't mean ta make 'im upset," he said contritely.

Donnie shook his head, "I know Raph...it's not you. It's what we will be doing. It...well," Donnie bit his lip before he started again, "Raph, we left home under stressful conditions and when we promised Mikey we would never return... we never expected that we would have to face the reality that we left a family of five...to return as a family of four."

Raph started to put his plate down, "I need ta talk ta him," he said worriedly as he stood up.

Donnie waved him down, "No Raph. I'll go talk with Leo. We need you to concentrate on Mikey. We'll heal together later but we all have our jobs. Yours is to help Mikey heal. I'll help Leo," and gave him a weak smile before he stood up, "Don't worry," soon leaving the room to follow where Leo disappeared.

Raph nodded, still feeling guilty as he told April and Casey, "Mikey's gonna wake up soon and I think ya guys should head ta town soon. His emotions are still goin' haywire..."

They took the warning and with gentle words of encouragement, they soon left in the van.

Raph grabbed the water and plate with the remaining sandwich on it, before he headed upstairs with a sigh.

* * *

Don's POV

Donnie hurried after Leo, catching him just before he closed the door to his room, "Leo, wait," he called, stopping him. He saw the brightness of his eyes and knew Leo was about to break down.

"Donnie, not now," Leo whispered, his voice wavering as he tried holding it together.

"No Leo, now. Let me in," Donnie said earnestly, "please..."

Leo looked hesitant for a second before he widened the door, allowing Donnie to come in, closing it behind him.

Donnie watched Leo as he paced, struggling to contain his emotions in the presence of his brother.

Finally Donnie spoke quietly as he pulled Leo towards the bed, sitting on it, "I miss him too."

Donnie wasn't surprised as Leo's tears broke free and engulfed his older brother in a tight hug.

Don took the time as well to grieve for the father they had lost and shared in pain as they cried together.

It tapered off after a time, and they leaned exhausted against the wall of the bed, just sitting beside eachother.

Leo finally spoke, "I...I don't know if I'm ready for this Donnie. Father... Father was the one who helped us connect and teach us. I'm nowhere near ready to lead this family...heck, I'm a poor brother and a worst leader...what am I going to do?" he said depressingly.

Donnie shrugged, "Leo, Father trained us to survive and live. We will learn how to be more connected but we all need to heal in our own time...and together. When both pieces heal, then we will be stronger in time," he said, a small smile on his face, "Hey, if you make mistakes along the way, learn from them. Yes, you WERE a poor brother when...that cretin was around, but you learned the truth and you changed. You learned," he said with a sad smile.

"But," Leo said, shaking his head, "Mikey is never going to forgive me for destroying his journal and bringing Usagi into our lives."

Donnie shook his head, a smile growing on his face as he said, "Do you remember when we decided that Mikey needed to be taught a lesson about pranking us all the time?"

Leo was startled at the change of conversation and frowned before he nodded his head, "Well, yeah, that was one of the times Master Splinter didn't punish us because he believed a lesson would be learned from it."

"Yeah and we kind of miscalculated," Don began to say before Leo interrupted.

"Miscalculated? Donnie, he flew over the trench and crashed into the wall! That wasn't a miscalculation! That was pure carelessness!" Leo said; eyes wide as he recalled the stunt they had pulled.

"Yes, and we weren't punished for it even though Mikey ended up getting patched up," Donnie countered, "and we thought he'd hate us forever."

"Well, yeah but he didn't. He wouldn't talk to us for days though Donnie, so I don't understand where you are going with this," Leo said, confused.

"Mikey did forgive us in the end. It was a mistake on our part that caused him to get hurt but he forgave us. It took time for him to decide that. It's taking time now."

Leo started to shake his head, "Donnie...what I did... what I did was worse than what we did then."

Donnie frowned, shaking his head, "Leo, we nearly killed Mikey for his pranks and basically called him a simpleton as kids. We were never punished for it but he forgave us. I know that this is not even close to the circumstance we are now in, but in time, I can see Mikey forgiving us. It takes time Leo, and Mikey's only doing baby steps right now."

"But Donnie, I brought Usagi into our lives! I became friends with him! I let him alter our minds! Heck, apparently I even bragged about Mikey being Battle Nexxus Champion which also led Usagi on his obsession with Mikey! It's my fault!" Leo said, jumping to his feet and started to pace, his arms gesturing angrily, "I kept telling Usagi how proud I was of Mikey! How Mikey actually got the message I was telling him. I even told him what I told Mikey. _That if one of us falls, we all fall_ and it all turned into one big lie!" he said, whirling around as anger grew, "Usagi twisted my words and made it into a lie! Mikey fell but we didn't!"

Donnie jumped up, walking over as he grasped Leo's hands, gripping them tightly as he spoke, "You're wrong about that. Mikey may have fallen first but we all fell, including sensei when all this came out. THIS WASN'T YOUR FAULT!" he said loudly, his voice filled with conviction, "You were proud of Mikey Leo. You weren't the only one. I have heard Master Splinter bragging to the Daimyo about Michelangelo's victory, and many people in the Nexxus bragged about it. Heck, I heard Raph even do it, and I'm guilty of that as well. You are not alone in that," Donnie assured Leo.

He continued, seeing Leo shaking slightly as he shook his head in denial, "and you weren't the one who brought Usagi into our lives. Technically it was Master Splinter who opened the portal to the Nexxus, showing us that world. That was where we met him, because Splinter opened the portal. You didn't cause it. Circumstances caused us to allow Usagi into our lives but if the Daimyo and Master Splinter can be fooled, than it wasn't your fault!" Donnie said sternly, his eyes flashing in anger, "Usagi made the decision to hurt Mikey, not you!"

"But," Leo whispered, shaking his head, "He was my friend and I brought him home..."

"He saw Mikey as prey Leo, and he stalked him until he found a way to hurt Mikey without us knowing. We can feel guilty that we didn't catch on but we didn't make Usagi rape our baby brother, did we?" Donnie said scathingly, now pissed off.

"N...no," Leo stammered, shocked at Donnie's behavior.

"Who raped Mikey?" Donnie questioned, his voice filled with contempt.

"U...Usagi..." Leo said, confused.

"Who altered our minds so much, we drove Mikey towards Usagi?" Donnie asked again, shaking Leo's arm slightly.

"Usagi did..." Leo said, his voice tingeing with anger.

"Who used potions and magic that created the illusion?"

"Usagi..."

"Who held Mikey down and raped him?"

Leo's eyes flared with anger, "Usagi raped Mikey..."

"And who deserves to die and be punished?" Donnie asked again.

"Usagi does..." Leo said angrily, his hands forming fists.

"Who will lead us to a new home?" Donnie now asked, glancing up as he took a step back, seeing his brother now realize his goals.

"I will. I found a home...Mikey will be safe there. We all will be safe there...I swear it!" Leo said; his fists still clenched in anger as he took a deep stabilizing breathe.

"Who will keep us together?" Donnie asked with a bright smile, now seeing the Leader emerge.

"I will...with your help," Leo said, "Thanks Donnie...for helping..." grateful for Donnie. "You reminded me what I needed to do...thanks..."

Donnie smiled, "That's what I'm here for..."

* * *

Raph's POV

Raph stared at Mikey's trembling form on the bed, wondering what he was dreaming about now.

_Probably tha' fucker..._ Raph thought bitterly as he put the plate and bottle on the end table with a sigh.

"Please..." he heard Mikey whimper and frowned. _Why tha' sound different?_

He moved closer, sitting on the chair beside the bed as he glanced at Mikey's sleeping face, frowning as he saw the look of terror on his face.

He contemplated waking Mikey up but knew that startling him awake tending to make him more high strung and edgy than waking up on his own.

"Wh...where are you?" Mikey whined out, his body twitching as if in pain and Raph had enough.

He stood up, intending to wake Mikey up. He reached out, about to touch Mikey's shoulder when he heard Mikey whisper, his voice broken, "You promised..."

Suddenly terror and fear invaded the room and Raph gasped, stumbling back as Mikey screamed awake, his eyes blank as he seem to gaze off in the distance, his legs scrambling along the bed as he kicked off blankets and his one arm struggled to pull the blankets away.

Raph countered the emotions, trying hard to draw on some strength as he caught lingering of pain and agony building; feelings of being dirty and contaminated seem to echo. _How da heck am I feelin' all of this? _

He walked forward, calling Mikey's name over his screaming, "Mikey, it's okay, you're safe...you're safe!"

Mikey cowered on the bed as Raph approached and Raph wanted to curse Usagi and kill that rabbit as he saw Mikey sobbing hysterically.

_Wha' da fuck he dream about?_

"Mikey?" he called, now worried as he reached out, touching Mikey's arm. He was shocked as he felt something more than emotions from Mikey through their connection.

Raph gasped, falling to his knees as he saw a few images engulfed into his brain.

_Usagi leering at him, the feeling of a paw on his leg and something sharp touching his neck as it slid down his plastron..._

Raph's eyes snapped open, his eyes widening as he saw Mikey staring at him in horror, this time Raph felt the difference in the room. He couldn't sense Mikey's emotions anymore and groaned as he realized Mikey pulled his emotions back.

"Mikey...are you okay?" he asked gently, now worried as he saw Mikey wasn't really responding.

He frowned slightly as he moved to touch Mikey's arm but was shocked as Mikey moved with a speed he hadn't seen in some time. Before he realized it, Mikey was on the other side of the bed, staring at him as he croaked out, "Don't touch me."

Raph felt hurt at the words but nodded his head, understanding, "Okay Mikey."

He carefully got to his feet, making his way to the end table and he picked up the sandwich and bottle of water. He placed them on the bed, "Donnie made ya somethin' ta eat."

Mikey was taking several calming breaths as he sat there, eyeing him warily.

As he moved towards the bed and sat down, Raph moved to the chair beside the bed. He watched Mikey as he ate and bit his lip slightly as he saw Mikey struggle for a second with the bottle before he managed to open it.

"Must've been some nightmare..." Raph commented after the long silence.

Raph didn't expect Mikey to actually answer and was surprised when he did.

"It was," Mikey's hoarse voice whispered, coughing slightly as he drank some water to ease the dryness.

He continued in a stronger voice, his hand shaking slightly as he placed the bottle of water down. "I...I was alone...why am I always alone?" he questioned himself before he continued again, "anyway...U...h...HE was there Raph...and it was different."

"How was it different?" Raph asked curiously. He had sensed it was different and was kind of curious about the scene from earlier but he held off.

"He was telling me something...something...I don't really remember..." Mikey said as he bit his lip, "it's like it's there...but I can't remember...a blur...but in that blur...I felt pain...Raph it hurt everywhere...but it was different...I was different...he was...different..."

"Yeah?" Raph frowned at Mikey's words, a feeling of dread built in his stomach, wondering why.

"You didn't protect me...you guys had promised...and you failed...again..." Mikey said, a tear slipping down his cheek.

Mikey finally turned and looked at him, a haunting sadness that seem to take residence in those big blue eyes, "You won't...won't let anyone hurt me like that...right Raphie? Not again?"

Raph stood up, strolling over as his spirit soared with protectiveness, "No one, ain't no one evah gonna lay a hand on ya again or my other bros! No one will stop me from rescuing Mikey! I swear to you."

Mikey stared at him for a long moment, this time, reaching out and touching Raph's hand, a warriors hand shake between the two brothers. Mikey whispered with a slight smile, "I believe you Raphie-boy," and Raph engulfed him with a hug.

Mikey sobbed his pain out again, allowing his shield to drop again and Raph anchored him once again.

* * *

_**I will be having a pure Mikey POV in the next chapter! Thanks for reading. **_


	27. Practice!

Chapter 27

Mikey glanced around at his brothers, staring blankly at them as they gathered their weapons together.

_Where are they going?_ He wondered briefly.

His shield was down as he healed. Raph had explained to him that having his shield up all the time made it harder for the family to help him. So now, he had it down and he noticed it was helping him. _It's not as hard to explain anymore..._ he thought. _They understand so much easier._

Someone touched his arm and he flinched violently backwards, eyes widened in shock at the unexpected touch when he caught the sight of Leo's hurt-filled eyes. _I hurt his feelings..._

"I'm sorry," he whispered weakly, "I didn't mean to." _Crap, when is this going to stop?_

Leo smiled weakly, "It's okay."

Mikey shook his head, feeling inadequate, "No...it's not..." and glanced away, not sure what to say now. _It's not okay Leo...I shouldn't be scared of you touching me! You won't hurt me..._

Leo sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. Finally he spoke, "Can you come outside with us and practice?"

Mikey's eyes widened with fear and shame, his head shaking rapidly, "Practice? NO! I mean, no, I can't!" backing up, confused and worried. _Are you serious!? I'll only screw everything up! I'm a one-armed freak!_

"What do you mean you can't?" Leo asked, his own voice confused and slightly raised as he responded.

Mikey flinched at the raise in his voice, shaking his head, "I can't Leo. I can't..." and he looked at the ground, his shoulders slumped in defeat, pain flared in his other shoulder at the gesture. _Aw crap...remember not to do that! _He thought as he gripped his shoulder as it flared in pain.

Leo sighed, worry filling his eyes as he watched Mikey cope with the pain, "You can come and practice Mikey. You haven't done much lately and it's important for you to keep healthy."

Mikey glanced up, seeing his brothers standing behind Leo, a yearning look on their face while they stared at him.

"Please Mikey?" Donnie called, "We miss you."

Mikey cringed slightly, hearing and feeling their pain and hope, "I...I guess I...I can try..." he said, faltering slightly, a weak grin growing on his face, "After all, I'm gonna be with Raphie in the woods...while you guys go back ho-...the lair..."

Donnie's eyes lit up as he pushed out the words, "Great, let's go get your weapons Mikey!"

Mikey nodded, "They are in my room...I...I'm gonna need some help with putting my gear on..."

"I can help you!" Leo said eagerly, wanting to help him.

Mikey shook his head, eyes wide, "No...um...please...could Raph help me?" he asked, glancing at his older brother.

Raph nodded, "I can...but what about you try letting Leo help ya."

Mikey bit his lip, his fear growing at the thought before he took a shaky breathe, glancing up at Leo, the fear evident in the room, "Okay Leo, c...can...can you help me?"

"Of course Mikey," Leo said with a beaming smile, his heart filling with excitement and warmth.

Mikey nodded; his face pale as he led the way to his room. _He's not going to do anything. He's not like that! Stop thinking that...Leo's good...he's not going to hurt me...come on Mikey...take that thought and let's run with it! _He thought as he opened the door to his room.

"Where is your bag?" Leo asked behind him, making him jump, startled.

"Um...i...in my closet...t..top shelf..." Mikey stammered, trying to quell his fast beating heart.

He watched Leo warily as he grabbed his bag from the top shelf in his closet. _I can do this!_

"Come here Mikey, let's get this on you," Leo said as he held out one elbow pad out.

Mikey nodded; his body stiff and tense as he held out his right arm awkwardly. He felt Leo's hand tugging the soft dark band up and around his wrist before sliding it up his arm and to his elbow.

"Sit on the bed while I put these on you," Leo then ordered lightly, pulling out the two knee pads they wore on a regular basis.

"I can do that," Mikey stammered out.

"It'll be faster if I help you," Leo said, wanting to help his brother, "so let's hurry."

Mikey hesitated before he shook his head, "No Leo, please, l...let me do that. I ...I s...still need my m...mask. I think it's in the s...side p..pocket."

Leo nodded, placing the pads on the bed beside Mikey while he went back to look for the mask. Mikey hurriedly pulled the knee pads on, grimacing at how awkward it felt only using one hand. _It takes a lot longer to do it..._ he thought with a sigh.

When he was done, he grinned, proud that he managed to do it. _Now I just need to practice it._

He glanced up, seeing Leo standing there, his body screamed of being proud. Mikey smiled back.

"I got your mask here. Are you ready to wear it again?" Leo asked smiling, holding up the familiar orange mask he stopped wearing after his surgery.

_Am I ready?_ He wondered briefly as he stepped forward, his hand touching the cloth with a wistful smile, nodding his head.

"Turn around and I'll tie it on," Leo said with a grin.

Mikey turned around, stiffening as he heard Leo's light exhale of breath on his neck. He knew he was just breathing normally and that there was nothing wrong. _But he's too close..._ Mikey thought, his eyes closing as his mask was place over top, blinding him for a brief moment.

_Please hurry Leo!_ He thought, his shoulders shaking as he felt the tugging on his mask as it was being tied. He breathed slowly, trying to calm himself. _It's only Leo...he is not going to do anything...I'm safe..._

He didn't feel anymore tugging so he opened his eyes, his right hand fingering the cloth on his face, relishing in that almost familiar feeling. _Almost there..._ he thought weakly, blinking back sudden tears.

Leo spoke, "Here you go Mikey," causing him to whirl around in fear before he smiled weakly. Leo was holding out his nunchuks.

Mikey's hand shook as he picked one up, smiling as his hand drew comfort from the smooth wood.

He fingered the orange cloth he had put on it several months before, ensuring better gripping. He put the one he was holding into his belt and then grabbed his last set. As he pulled it from Leo's grasp, he frowned in confusion as he felt something off on it.

"That's weird..." he said, hefting the nunchuk up and down with a confused look on his face.

Leo was placing the bag on his bed when he spoke, asking, "What do you mean?"

"The weight is off on this set...it's slightly heavier..." Mikey mentioned, glancing up at Leo in confusion, "it shouldn't be. I just finished re-making this set right before...everything...happening..." his voice trailed off as a blush grew on his face, "maybe I did it wrong," he said with a sigh, placing it on the desk.

Leo shrugged, "I don't know but if it feels off, trust your instincts. They have never been wrong before."

Mikey blushed at the praise, smiling at Leo brightly before nodding, "Thanks Leo."

Leo just smiled back, "I'll meet you outside," before he turned and left the room.

Mikey nodded as he walked over to his desk, many papers covered with letters lay upon it. He brushed the papers aside, placing the nunchuks on it, "I'll check it later."

He grinned, feeling proud of himself that he didn't freak out when Leo touched him. _Okay, maybe a little freak out...but that's allowed..._ he thought as he left his room.

As he left the house, he saw Donnie and Raph outside, wrestling together and laughing. He stared at them wistfully, wishing he could join in.

"Mikey?" he heard from his right, glancing over as he saw Leo standing there, "how about you start some stretches but go slow. It has been awhile since you practiced."

Mikey nodded as he slowly began stretching, wincing as his body moved in ways it hadn't for months. It hurt.

By the time he finished, he was panting with exhaustion and was confused. _I thought I was healed...why does it take so much out of me...I'm exhausted..._

He sat on the ground, ignoring Leo's command to keep working. Everything hurt...

"Mikey, are you okay?" Donnie asked, walking over.

Mikey glanced up, eyes slightly wet as he tried to breath through the pain, "It hurts Donnie...why?"

Donnie knelt beside him, a small smile on his face, "It hurts because it's been months since you worked out and you pushed yourself so much. Your muscles probably are sore. You should take a hot bath after this."

Mikey groaned, "but I haven't done anything!" he whined with a pout. He sighed, glancing away as he spoke to himself, "I know I'm useless but I thought I could still fight at least," he muttered quietly, not realizing Donnie heard him.

"YOU AREN'T USELESS!" Donnie yelled out angrily, storming over and standing over him, "You need to stop thinking you are useless. You were hurt and you are healing! You are not useless!"

Mikey stared upwards at him, his blue eyes wide with a fear he had never associated with Donnie. He scrambled backwards as Donnie continued to berate him.

Raph growled as he yanked Donnie back, "That ain't tha' way ya get through ta him Don. Look at him!"

Mikey stared with wide eyes at his older brother, a flicker of fear inside them. Donnie looked, his own tears watering as he realized his mistake. He dropped to his knees in front of Mikey, "I'm sorry Mikey. I...I didn't realize."

Mikey could practically feel Donnie's love and his own fear of rejection. He hesitated briefly but moved forward, placing his hand on Donnie's arm, stopping his apologetic words. "It's okay Donnie," he said, a weak smile on his face as he glanced at his eyes, "I'm still learning, like we all are. I'll be okay."

Donnie grinned, his eyes wet and before he knew it, his arms wrapped around Mikey's neck as he hugged his little brother. He felt Mikey tense up at his actions at first, his breathing panicked for a moment and he rushed to pull away, aghast he might have made things worse.

_Hands around his body, pinning him, rubbing against him._

_NO!_

His eyes widened and he pushed away against the body on him, realizing it was quite easy and he heard a Ooomph...

Focusing, he glanced down and saw Donnie sprawled on the ground, looking up at him. Mikey felt his eyes tear up and he felt like bursting into tears. "I'm so sorry Donnie," he said remorsefully.

"I...I don't know what's wrong with me..." Mikey whispered, "I...I just... remembered... I'm sorry!"

Donnie bit his lip, unsure on what to say first when Raph spoke up, "Mikey, it's okay. There ain't nuthin' wrong wit you. We'll figure it out, 'kay?"

Mikey drew in a shaky breathe, nodding his head, "Okay..."

* * *

Later that evening:

"Are you sure it's okay I leave you with everything?" Leo asked Raph as he hefted in the bag of supplies.

"We'll be fine Leo. Raph said I get to bring some marshmallows...and if anything happens, we can call Casey and April at the farm. Both our Shell Cells are fully charged and we even got the solar charger Donnie built! We'll be okay," Mikey said, trying to assure his older brother.

Leo sighed, "I just worry about you Mikey. It's hard not to."

Mikey nodded, "I know and I appreciate it," he said with a smile, "besides, you better not forget anything...you have my list, right?"

Leo smiled, "Yes, I have your list, bring everything in your room, right?"

Mikey shook his head quickly, "NO!" and at Leo's startled look, he continued, "Um, just...just bring everything on the list...I don't need anything else in the room, okay?"

Leo nodded, perplexed at Mikey's words and turned, intending to look at the list when Donnie spoke up, "I think that's everything. We should get going now before it starts getting dark. Mikey, make sure you eat every day and drink lots of water. Pay attention to your surroundings and please, don't step into any bear traps!"

"There are bear traps around here?" Mikey asked, his eyes wide, "Cool, are there bears around too?"

"No ya nimrod, someone was just plantin' traps around intendin' ta get bigfoot," Raph said sarcastically.

Mikey blushed at his brothers teasing remarks and stuck his tongue out at Raph.

"Okay guys, please be careful and don't get lost. Okay?" Leo said sternly, "We'll be back in a few days. I don't know how long it's going to take to move the old lair to the new one."

"Where is the new one?" Mikey asked curiously.

"You know our old lair with the crystals, right?" Leo answered. At Mikey's nod, he continued, "I found a similar place that is entirely separate and abandoned. It's a fair size bigger than the last lair and even has a waterfall and some sort of bright crystal that mimics the sky in a way. Donnie found an elevator that leads to the surface."

"And...you showed no one? Not even..." and Mikey broke off, glancing away as he thought about his abuser.

Leo frowned, glancing at Raph for some help before he turned to Mikey, "I swear Mikey. I showed no one!"

Mikey glanced at Leo with worry, "Alright..." he said a smile growing on his face, "Can I have the biggest room?"

His brothers laughed, "You haven't even seen it yet Mikey and you want the biggest room?" Leo questioned with a grin.

"I'm the youngest and I always get the biggest room, then Donnie does...then Raphie, then you. It's been that way for like forever!" Mikey said smiling, "sooo, can I have the biggest, please Leo!" he whined, making his eyes widen as he stared up at Leo. (Making a Puss in Boots Look with the eyes)

Leo tried to remain stern but broke immediately, "Yes, yes, you get the biggest, and it'll be beside Raph's room. Okay? Now you and Raph head off. We'll wait for April and Casey who should be here soon."

Mikey nodded, giving his brother a smile. He said his goodbyes and went and grabbed his backpack filled with some food and waited for Raph to say his goodbyes.

"He's healed alot these last few days Raph. Are you sure you need to do this?" Leo said with a small frown.

"Yes Leo. It needs ta be done. Don't worry...this will help alot," Raph said, "Now don't forget my stuff, okay?"

Leo nodded, "Safe journey Raph. Keep him safe and sane, please..."

Raph nodded, saying his goodbyes and clapping Donnie on the shoulder before they turned and walked away.

* * *

Mikey smiled as he followed along the trail behind Raph, enjoying the warm summer breeze on his skin. "Are we there yet?" he whined once again, just 5 minutes after the last time he asked.

"No we ain't! Now quit your bellyachin'!" Raph said loudly, his fist clenching slightly.

"I'm bored Raphie!" Mikey said with a laugh.

It was silent for another 10 minutes, Raph slowly relaxing in the upcoming peacefulness. _Frig, thank god he quiet. Now maybe I can jist relax..._ Raph thought as his shoulders dropped and his fists unclenched. He was enjoying their trek quite nicely.

"Are we there yet?" came Mikey's mischievous voice from behind him.

Raph screamed in frustration but he smiled as he heard Mikey's laughing in reaction to him. _Well, that's helluva lot better than bein' afraid of us._

He turned around, a smile growing on his face as he saw Mikey's eyes sparkling just enough to almost lose that haunting quality. "Must you ask every 5 minutes?"

"I can ask every 5 seconds you know," Mikey countered with a smile, "Com'n Raph, I'm BORED! Didja even think of somethin' for us ta do while we walk?"

Raph sighed, "How about Follow the Leader?"

Mikey shook his head at the suggestion.

"Simon Says?"

Mikey said 'No' again.

"How about ya jist follow me and we get there 'fore ya know it," Raph said as he turned around, this time screaming in terror as a small spider hung right in front of his eyes.

He stepped back frantically at the sight.

His face flushed in embarrassment as he turned to make sure Mikey hadn't saw what had scared him.

Instead, he saw Mikey cackling on the ground, rolling around in laughter. _Figures it would be my embarrassing moment that makes him really laugh..._


	28. Camping

Chapter 28

Mikey watched as Raph prepared the fire, smiling slightly at the calmness in the woods. It was nice. _The stars are beautiful..._ he thought, glancing upwards, wondering if Splinter was watching them.

Dark thoughts brewed in his mind, recalling Usagi's touches and Splinter's death, he thought _Probably not watching me but them...they deserve his love... I'm just dirty and worthless... I killed Splinter anyway...I told..._

He didn't realize it but his darker thoughts were felt by Raph who had frowned at the change in emotions that were coming from his little brother. _Wonder wha' goin' on wit 'im.._ Raph thought as he glanced at his little brother worriedly.

"Mikey?" he called out, placing another log on the growing fire, concern etched in his voice. _Com'n Mike, talk ta me..._

"I'm fine," Mikey said, pulling a smile on his face and pushing past the darker emotions, "You think we can roast some marshmallows?" he asked as he lifted up his bag, "Donnie got me some."

Raph smiled at the words, knowing Mikey was deflecting what was bothering him but he had to approach things carefully if his plan was to work. "Sure bro, how about ya grab a knife an' chop up some sticks for us ta use, okay?"

Mikey nodded as he stood up, grabbing a knife from Raph's bag. As he started to leave, Mikey hesitated, worry filtered the surrounding area as he asked, "Y...you won't leave...right?"

Raph's eyes widened in shock, dropping the stack of twigs and rocks he had gathered a moment before, "Of course not Mikey, why would ya think tha'?"

Mikey shrugged, a little self conscious, "I...I don't know, I'll be back soon," he said flustered and embarrassed as he quickly left the campsite. His face grew warm as he realized he made a mistake in thinking that Raph would leave him alone. _I'm so stupid...he should...I just make a mess of everything..._ he thought morosely as he found two nice sized branches.

He started hacking at them, his arm feeling like jelly as he tried using the knife to slice through the stick. Tears build up as he realized just how much effort he was using to cut the stick in half. _I'm so weak...when did I get so weak?_

Angry at himself, he hacked the branch hard, yelping in surprise as it went straight through, the branch falling to the ground. _I guess anger does help..._

He quickly hacked through the next branch, using that familiar anger he had been filling and smiled as that to, fell to the ground. _Heh...got it!_

He put the knife into his belt, reaching down, he picked up the branches and soon left the area, walking back to the campground. He saw Raph staring at the fire, lost in thought.

_Maybe I should wait...he looks like he wants to be alone..._ Mikey thought worriedly as he stood there, sensing the worry coming from Raph.

Raph glanced up, sensing Mikey was close, smiling as he called him over, "Hey Mikey, didja find some?"

Mikey smiled, holding the sticks up, "Yep, here you go," throwing them down nearby.

Raph grinned, "Good job. How about you go grab some water while I whittle these down?"

Mikey sighed, "Okay," and grabbed a bucket nearby as he walked away. He saw the nearby lake, smiling at the open beauty of it. He leaned over, dipping the bucket in and pulling it out. As he did this, he glanced over, smiling as a fish jumped up. _That was so cool!_

He stood there, basking in the sun setting and the lake's glittering view before he turned to head back, somehow feeling more at peace. _It's nice...maybe... maybe this is why Raph brought me here... to get peace..._

Mikey smiled as Raph threw some more kindiling into the fire, building it up. He saw Raph reach for his bag, pulling out some marshmallows and dusting them off, he put them on his stick, handing it to him.

Mikey smiled, eager to eat the marshmallows. He frowned as he saw Raph not eating any but shrugged in his haste to cook it perfectly.

As he cooked it, he frowned when he saw the dust from the marshmallow turn a flame blue. _That's kinda cool, I should get Donnie to check that out..._ he thought, content as he ate half a dozen cooked marshmallows.

The two chatted and talked about small little things here and there for about 40 minutes before Raph finally called out, "We should get some sleep."

Mikey's eyes widened in sudden worry, "Where are we sleeping?" he asked, feeling anxious all of a sudden, thoughts flowing through his mind. _Would he hurt me too?_

"In da tent," Raph said with a grin, "Donnie got us a big one tha will fit da two of us."

Mikey bit his lip nervously, eyeing the tent with a sigh, "Okay..." _No, he wouldn't, it's Raph! He's my twin. He won't hurt me...right?_

Raph frowned as he felt the intense fear returning, "Hey Mike...wha' wit da fear?"

Mikey shook his head, "It's nothing Raph..." as he got to his feet as he heading to the tent.

Raph dumped the water on the camp fire, making sure it was out before following Mikey.

As he looked inside, he saw the evident fear Mikey was trying to hide on his face as he got inside. "What's wrong Mikey?" he said, walking to his sleeping bag and unzipping it.

Mikey shook his head, just watching him warily. _I don't know what's wrong...I...I just feel off... and scared..._as he stared at his big brother, wondering why he was feeling what he was feeling..._why am I scared...he won't hurt me...right?_

Raph frowned as he laid down, "Mikey?"

Mikey just sighed deeply, quelling his fear as much as he could, "I'm fine Raph... just tired...yeah...night..." as he pulled the blanket over him.

Raph just shrugged, turning off the flashlight as he rolled over, quickly falling asleep.

Mikey lay there, breathing slowly as he tried to get himself to relax. It took him awhile but he soon fell asleep, his body trembling in reaction to something.

* * *

_The lair was quiet and he was exhausted. He pulled his blanket over him, snuggling into its warmth as he relaxed._

_He yawned, his head sinking deeper into his pillow. _

_Time passed when he felt something touch his side through his blanket. _

_Blearily, he frowned, aware but not quite awake. His body stiffened as the hand slowly went up his arm, drawing down his blanket, feeling the cool air hit his skin. _

'_What's going on? W...who is doing this?' he wondered worriedly, tensing in sudden fear as the hand started gliding down his front. _

'_What? NO!' and that was when he felt the fur against his back and the white fur that was an arm moving down his plastron towards his private area._

_He spoke before he even knew he was really awake, denying what was happening, "NO! STOP!" he cried out, pushing that arm away, scuttling towards the wall to pull away from the friend who was touching him. _

_He stared into dark eyes that were filled with malice and lust, hearing his voice speak, "Michelangelo, sweet...sweet...Michelangelo..."_

_Mikey stared at him, confused and afraid, trying to figure out what had just happened when he started coughing. Dust was flying around his head and he coughed and inhaled the lot of it, his head becoming foggy. _

"_Michelangelo, I command you to tell me how much you love me," Usagi said as he pulled the helpless Michelangelo towards him, his whiskers brushing against his face. _

"_D...don't...t..touch..." Mikey struggled to get out, his body unbelievably heavy, panting slightly as he felt Usagi's paws trailing their way down his plastron. _

_Mikey started to breathe heavily, panic filling his entire body. _

_He struggled to scream and finally managed to scream, "RAPHIE!" _

_Stars filled his head as his cheek hit the pillow, tears now falling down his face as another blow hit the other cheek, sobs filling his body as he fell limp. _

_Usagi was talking, furiously hitting him as his claws scraped his skin. His legs forced apart painfully. _

_Mikey whimpered in fear as Usagi laughed above him. _

'_Please stop, stop, stop, stop, stop,' Mikey thought as the hands continued to fondle him, Usagi's face slowly turning into his Raph's face...Raph's hands on him..._

_Raph's body on top of his, touching his...yanking his legs apart..._

_One hand touched his arm..._

* * *

A hand touched his arm and he screamed, "NOOOOO," struggling to get out of the blanket that he was trapped.

"NO! NO! Stop! Don't touch me! Stop, stop," he begged, his eyes wide open as he stared at his older brother in horror.

Raph's eyes were terrified and worried, "Mikey, com'n, are you awake now?"

Mikey stared, his arm wrapping around his knees as he trembled, trying to figure out what just happened.

"Jist breathe nice and slow, 'kay Mike? Ya were yellin' somethin' at me... w...what was your dream about?" Raph asked hesitantly, "'cause you called my name."

Mikey shuddered, inhaling deeply, "Just a nightmare Raph. That's all. It's nothing new," he said, trying to dismiss it.

"It ain't somethin' new Mike! Ya jist screamed ya self awake and freaked when I touched ya. Now tha' ain't somethin' ya used ta do when I woke you up, now com'n," Raph said worriedly, his eyes beseeching as he turned the lantern on, the tent glowing in pale light, "Tell me Mike. I ain't gonna laugh or leave ya."

Mikey shook his head, "I can't," he whispered, tears filling his eyes, "He'll kill you too...he killed sensei...he'll kill you too," he said as he glanced away in shame.

Raph sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "Look tha' bunny boy didn't kill sensei. Sensei died cause he was sick and he was tired. It ain't ya fault. Ya gotta stop thinkin' tha!"

Mikey tensed as he shook his head, "It is true Raph. I know it is! Sensei wasn't sick before it happened. He wasn't sick while it was happened and he sure as hell got sick when I told! Hell, it wasn't until after I gave my statement that he was about to croak!" _I don't get it, why am I so scared and angry...I don't get it...I feel...weird..._

Raph's eyes widened at the angered words, disbelief clear on his face, "Mikey, where is t'is comin' from?"

Mikey's shoulders dropped, causing pain to appear on his face as he clutched the still healing shoulder. He saw Raph move towards him and tensed, shaking his head, "No, stay there, I'm fine."

Raph sat back down, confused and sat silently as he thought of what Mikey just said. _Wha' da shell? Mikey ain't usually like that...what da fuck he dream?_

Mikey stared at his brother, wondering if he would finally just leave him alone. _Please, you can't be close. Usagi will see it...he'll choose you...I know he will. He can't. I can't lose you...I'd gladly go through it again if it meant Usagi wouldn't touch you..._ and bitter tears rose to his eyes as he stared at Raph.

"Ya can't think tha' Mikey. Splinter was sick...had been for awhile. He was gettin' old and weak at times. Donnie was checkin' 'im out but there wasn't anythin' there. That's why Leo was leadin' da practices so much," Raph explained, watching Mikey's eyes carefully.

"That's not true Raph!" Mikey said, refusing to even hear the words, "No one said anything to me about Splinter being sick! If I had known that, then this maybe wouldn't have happened! This is just lies!" _Lies...that's all he knows what to say...lies..._

Raph looked astounded before his eyes narrowed and his muscles bulged at being called a liar, "I ain't lying ya little dipshit. Sensei was gettin' sicker. We jist figured it would be too much for your fragile brain and I guess it was since ya tried killing yourself when he died!"

Mikey's face paled, his mouth dropped opened in surprise, "I...I..." he stuttered, shaking his head as he tried to clear his thoughts, "You...you have no idea what I've been through! I just wanted it to end!"

"Ya tried ta take the easy way out ya little runt! Ya thought tha killing yourself was gonna jist gonna sit right wit us? Ya have no idea how much ya hurt us...hurt me!" Raph screamed out angrily, storming out the tent lest he destroy it in his anger.

Mikey rose up, following him, the anger building from deep within him as he moved to defend himself, "How the Hell could I hurt you when I do nothing but protect you!? Huh? You think that taking my life was a easy choice?"

"It must have been easy if you think that we wouldn't need you, Hell Mikey, don't ya see tha' ya da glue tha' holds us altogether?" Raph screamed back, his eyes filling with tears as he was lost in thought, "When I saw ya about ta step off tha' cliff...a part of me nearly died."

Mikey gasped as he felt the pain emanating from Raph, pushing past it and ignoring it as his own pain consumed him, "Why didn't you just let me go!? Fuck Raph, why must I still be tormented by his touches and whispers in my ears and endure being around the ones who didn't even save me!"

Raph glared, "We didn't know Mikey! How many times ya gonna throw tha' in our faces! He used Magic on us ta make us forget! Who da hell knows wha' kinda memories we lost! He fucked us over Mikey! Screwed up our family in one swoop, raping the only one we cherished the most!"

Mikey's eyes widened at the words before narrowing, his blue eyes blazing it seemed, slightly bigger than usual as he screamed scathingly, "Cherished! You didn't cherish me! You all hate me! You make fun of me and hurt me. You always mock me and smack me upside the head! How the hell was that cherishing me!? Fuck, even Splinter didn't take me seriously! That's the sign of a cherished brother, fuck that and fuck you!"

Raph's temper blew and before he knew it, his fist moved faster than his brain and Mikey was down and on the ground before he realized what had happened.

"MIKEY!" he cried out, quickly moving to his side, his hand touching Mikey's remaining arm in his haste, only to have it tense and slapped away.

"Did that make you feel good Raphie?" Mikey said in a low voice, his eyes glittering in the moonlight, "Didja wanna hit me again...ya wanna take me...I'm helpless you know. Usagi would... he knew I deserved it..."

Raph's face flickered many different types of emotion as Mikey spoke, confused on what the hell was going on with his little brother. _ I don't get it...it sounds like he's drugged or somethin'! Wha' da shell was goin' on?_

"Com'n Raphie...hit me again," Mikey spat out, his eyes slightly glazed as he sat up, wiping the blood from his split lip, chuckling a little, "I'll teach you how good a whore I became..."

"Whoa, wha' da fuck Mikey! You ain't doin' nuthin' of da sort!" Raph said sternly, "First, I want ya to go into da tent and stay there till I figure out what the heck is wrong wit you!"

"There isn't anything wrong with me Raphie! You wanted me to tell you the truth. The truth is, I'm nothing but a little whore to be used and abused. Usagi liked it when I begged, you want me to beg?" Mikey said his voice low.

Raph sighed before he walked to the nearby cooler, yanking out a needle and tapping it. He saw Mikey's panicked eyes before he moved, shoving him down and injected the fast acting sedative.

He saw Mikey's pain filled eyes as they closed and sighed, frustrated that things were still happening to his little brother.

Raph lifted his brother up and tucked him back into his sleeping bag before he pulled out the food and water containers. Sniffing the various containers carefully, he found no problems until he opened the bag of marshmallows, his nose scrunching slightly at the odor the bag now emitted.

_What da hell is wrong wit it!? I swear if Casey bought me a expired bag of marshmallows, I'm gonna kill the git! _Raph thought as he pulled out his shell cell and dialled Don's number.

"Hey Raph, how is things going?" Donnie's calm voice through the speaker helped calm Raph's already turmoil mind.

"I...something happened..." Raph said slowly, taking a calming breathe.

"What? Raph, is Mikey okay? Are you? What's going on?" and suddenly the phone was yanked from Donnie's calming voice to Leo's frantic one, "Do you need us to come back?"

"Calm down Leo," Raph said, "and put Donnie back on the da phone. I need 'is help!"

"What's wrong Raph?" Donnie said urgently as he had the phone back.

"I think Mikey was poisoned or somethin'...but I can't tell. Ya know wha' kind of drugs can make someone paranoid and hopped up on drugs so much he thinks I'd rape him?" Raph said bluntly, his head already pounding slightly.

"What did you guys eat or drink? Was it anything different? Was there anything noticeably different from what you guys have been doing?" Donnie asked quickly and rapidly, "Should I come?"

Raph sighed, rubbing his forehead, "I'm fine Donnie, and Mikey's passed out. I gave him a sedative since he was gettin' weirder. I figure whatever it was, it could've come from da marshmallows...they smell off and dusty..."

"Well contain it for now and I'll test it when I'm back. Make sure anything else you guys eat is good. Maybe use those test strips I sent you. They are in the red cooler that says first aid. If you press that against anything and it turns black don't eat it," Donnie explained, sounding unsure, "Are you sure you don't need me there?"

Raph snapped back "Look, I can take care of Mikey. He'll be fine and everything will be fine tomorrow. I'm gonna go to bed but I'll call ya in da mornin' if things are different, okay?"

"Okay Raph, have a good rest. I'll phone you guys at 11 am if you forget," Donnie warned him, "so please make sure you answer."

"Ya, ya brainiac, I'll git it. Now shut up, I'm gonna get some sleep. Night," and he hung the phone up before Donnie couldn't answer.

Yawning, he quickly decided to test the food before he slept and proceded to check it all. Only the marshmallows seemed to turn black so Raph bagged them and chucked them into a nearby tree to keep it safe till Don and Leo came back.

_I swear if it was bunny boy, he's gonna die and I'm gonna git myself a rabbit's foot ta burn!_ Raph thought darkly as he laid back down.


	29. Usagi Returns

**A/N: Yay, I updated!**

**Okay everyone, I know people wanted Usagi Scene, there are two below! **

**Be warned, abused turtle ahead...**

**Abused scene below. Usagi/Mikey. **

* * *

Chapter 29

_He's right there….so close…but I cannot have him yet…_ Usagi thought, watching Michelangelo through the woods.

_He will be punished for leaving me in prison. How dare he tell everyone! _Usagi thought furiously, his hand reaching for the pouch on his waist, pulling out a small bag.

He quickly walked towards the water bag nearby, seeing Michelangelo's name etched on it. _This will do…this will do real well_ Usagi thought as he threw in the powder.

He grinned as he found a bag within the trees and pulled it down. _Supplies for the future I see…_ he thought with a grin _Well Michelangelo, you will enjoy this…_ as he put in a device similar to an orb. It can only be released when Michelangelo was alone and within vicinity.

_That will do…_

The moonlight gleamed on his ratty fur and he knew he must cleanse himself before he devoured Michelangelo. _He looks so helpless…_ Usagi shuddered with pleasure, imagining Mikey beneath him, crying in pain.

_But first…._Usagi thought, grinning in malicious pleasure as he headed back towards Splinter's grave stone…

* * *

Meanwhile:

**RING**

The sound of the shell cell going off pulled Leo out of his tired doze as he yawned grabbing the phone from his bedside table. "Hello?" he said, yawning again as he sat up.

"LEO!" April said, clearly upset and worried.

Leo's eyes widen at the obvious fear and panic in her voice and responded, "April, what's wrong!?" he asked, reaching onto the couch, slapping Donnie awake.

"It's Splinter's grave Leo!" April said, her voice high pitched and filled with horror and fear, "I…we went…we went to give our respects and…oh god…" and her voice faded away as the phone shifted hands.

"April, what happened? Tell me!" Leo said, demanded, scared something had happened, "What happened to Splinter's grave?"

Casey's voice came on the phone, his voice stressed, "Leo, Splinter's grave…someone dug it up…"

Leo's legs gave away, horror filled his mind as the phone dropped from suddenly limp hands, "What?"

Donnie hovered, confused, "What happened? Leo! What happened?"

Leo didn't respond so Donnie knelt down, picking up the phone as he heard Casey's voice yelling Leo's name. "Casey, what happened?" Donnie asked; a hand on Leo's shoulder.

"Someone dug up Splinter's grave Don…destroyed the coffin…and pulled him out…" Casey admitted regretfully, his voice strained and filled with remorse, "I don't have no idea on who did it. We…we went ta visit t'is mornin' but it was dug up and everything…"

Donnie paled at the words, his own shock overwhelming him for the moment.

"What would you like us to do?" Casey asked gently. "I can build ya a new coffin and rebury 'im. April said she'd help do it before Raph and Mikey get back…but wha' about Raph and Mikey, should they know about t'is?"

Donnie shook his head, tears filling his eyes as he glanced down at Leo, "C…Casey and April said they would rebury him for us…" he whispered, "before Raph and Mikey get back."

Leo glanced up at his brother; his hand out as it shook slightly, looking years older than he really was.

"Casey, Leo's right here, talk to him," Donnie said chokingly, "We…we'll be there soon."

Leo answered, "Casey..thank you…and thank April for me. Please…" he broke off, his voice choked as he verbalized, "bury Splinter…please. Don't tell Raph or Mikey. I'll tell them in due time."

"A'ight, I can do tha'. Ya guys done already?" Casey asked confused.

Leo nodded, glancing around the much moved in lair, boxes everywhere, "Yes. Everything is here…it's just messy…" Leo said hoarsely, "but we moved everything."

"Wha' ya gonna do wit all da old stuff in da lair?" Casey questioned, trying to distract Leo, "I mean, ya can't jist leave tha' stuff in da place, right?"

"No, Donnie packed up everything that we didn't want, need, or use at the moment for storage. All our friends came and helped and Leatherhead agreed to help wire this place for our return," Leo explained, "Casey…when you bury Splinter again…can….can you please place a book I have on the farm there, with him?"

"Sure Leo," Casey promised, "If you guys are on your way, I swear I won't bury him till ya get here."

"Thanks Casey, we should be there in about 5 hours," Leo explained, "I'll see you then. Bye," and he hung up the phone.

He glanced up at Donnie worriedly, "What going on?" he asked him, lost.

"I don't know Leo. Maybe we should contact the Daimyo and see if Usagi is still on lock down," Donnie replied, a little choked up and stressed, "because no one here in New York even knows he died…"

Leo nodded, biting his lip, "Com'n, let's go. We'll unpack our rooms later. Grab the items you want to bring with you and let's go," Leo said with a sigh, eyes narrowed as he got to his feet.

* * *

Hours later: (Sunrise)

Mikey smiled as he watched the sun come up, a sense of peace consuming him as all the tension left him. He had a small smile on his face at the beautiful sight. _Maybe Raphie can come tomorrow…_ he thought grinning.

He lifted up his water bottle, yanking the stopper out with his teeth before he drank it down, his nose wrinkling at the warm water. He pulled away at a seemingly familiar taste in his mouth, his body tensing slightly as he tried to identify it.

_I've tasted this before…I know I have…it…it tastes familiar….but what?_

His hand shook slightly as his limbs became heavy and his head slowly drifted into a familiar haze. Panicked and afraid, he cried out, "RAPHIE!"

_I didn't drink much…I gotta concentrate!_ He thought worriedly as his eyes closed. He searched for his hot headed spirit but he could sense he was still asleep back at camp.

His eyes closed as he slumped against the tree trunk, sleep starting to overcome him despite his need not to. He blinked sluggishly as he struggled to stay away, now realizing he had been sedated.

As his eyes started to close, he thought he saw the leering face of Usagi stepping out of the bushes.

* * *

**Usagi/Mikey Ahead! Be warned! Abuse scene.**

* * *

Usagi grinned evilly as he saw Michelangelo fall asleep. Desire overcame his body as he advanced, his eyes roaming the small pale body.

One paw reached out, gliding over the now smooth muscle that covered the remains of his arm. His body trembled in anticipation as he touched the young body below him, panting slightly as his paws roamed the body freely.

He tugged Michelangelo down in his haste, laying him on his shell and yanking his legs apart, wanting to engulf the smaller turtle.

"Oh Michelangelo…why…why did you run away?" he whispered as he kissed Michelangelo's slack mouth eagerly, his tongue molesting the insides as his paw slipped down his front, intending to seek out what he desired these many months away.

"You must be punished," Usagi said as he panted; his member already slick and hard. He wanted to plough into this young terrapin but seeing that slack mouth, desire washed over him as he yanked him over, leaning over his mouth.

He moaned as he shoved into Michelangelo's mouth, shuddering as he rammed in deeply, holding Michelangelo in place as he fucked him. His body shook as he trembled, moaning in pleasure. _He had missed this…._ He thought as he clutched Michelangelo's head, ramming deep down his throat each time.

Michelangelo's body trembled beneath him but Usagi knew he was still unconscious. He cried out as he came, his cock slammed deep into the back of Mikey's throat as he allowed Michelangelo to swallow it all down. He grinned as some dribbled from his mouth.

_Hmmm that was nice…._ He thought grinning but knew his game must end for now as he tucked himself away.

His paws roamed below, molesting the entrance of Michelangelo freely, enjoying the view as he pushed a finger inside, and chuckling at the tensing of his unconscious body.

Usagi pulled his finger out, kissing Michelangelo's cheek, "I shall be back Michelangelo…that…is …a …promise…" as he kissed the mouth once more, " you must be punished..." as said as he cleaned the cum from his lips and ensuring that there was no evidence left to show that he had been there. He quickly shoved some medicine down Michelangelo's throat that would hide any injuries he may have done.

_It would be as if Michelangelo had fallen asleep and had a nightmare_ Usagi thought with a grin, quickly washing out the water bottle, ensuring there was no trace left of his drugs.

He quickly moved back to Michelangelo, propping him back up against the tree he had been against earlier. He ensured it looked as if he fallen asleep.

_No one will believe you…_ Usagi thought with a wicked grin, having enjoyed the morning.

He moved back into the shadows, embracing the forest world as he slid from view.

_I'll be watching…_


	30. Ambushed

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I've been really sick lately and exhausted with fighting it. Never knew it would take so much outta me. Coughing up your lungs is not fun! LOL**

**I did my best, wanting to update by this weekend. Next chapter is planned but not written so I just hope I get some energy in the next day or so to write it! LOL**

To all the Native People out there

The Idle No More movement was sparked by events on 4 December, when First Nations representatives were blocked from entering the House of Commons in Ottawa to discuss their concerns about a proposed Bill.

The Harper administration's omnibus law, Bill C-45, has served as the rallying cry for the Idle No More movement. Also known as "Jobs and Growth Act 2012," Bill C-45 makes changes to the Indian Act without the consultation of First Nations. It includes extensive amendments to more than sixty laws, including not only the Indian Act, but also the Navigable Waters Protection Act,the Fisheries Act and others. Opponents argue these changes violate existing treaties and weaken environmental protection of land and water.

We all have to gather together to stop this! Just look at this!

On December 4th - Canada had over 2 million protected lakes, and over 8,500 protected rivers.

On December 5th - Canada now has only 97 Protected lakes and 62 protected rivers.

(90 per cent of the protected lakes are on 1% rich conservative territory)

All Thanks to Stephen Harper

Join the movement! I'm a native women and PROUD that I am! Harper says I will no longer be recognized as a First Nations Women!

Idle No More!

* * *

Chapter 30

Raph's POV

Raph slowly blinked away, yawning slightly as he sat up. Glancing to his left, his eyes widened with sudden panic as he saw Mikey wasn't sleeping beside him.

_Where did he go?_ He thought, quickly rushing out the tent, slapping the tent flap out of his way as his eyes roamed their campsite, "Mikey, ya here?" he called out.

He frowned when he heard no answer and his anxiety picked up when he couldn't really sense Mikey's usual wayward emotions. _He don't got 'is shield up… so why don't I feel 'im?_ He wondered, starting to eye the ground for footprints as he grabbed his Sai's, just in case.

_Where are ya Mike?_ He wondered, starting to search for his little brother.

* * *

Mikey's POV

Meanwhile, Mikey's head was pounding relentlessly as he tried to avoid waking up fully, his body heavy and disorientated. _What happened?_ He wondered, his one arm shakily pushing himself upwards from his slumped position.

His head hurt and it felt oddly familiar, like he had felt this particular headache before. _Did I fall asleep?_ He wondered, trying to remember what happened.

_Usagi!_

His eyes darted around frantically in a panic, his heart starting to race as the fear overtook him. He tried to concentrate but the fear overcame him. He scrambled to his feet, needing to tell Raph that he had seen Usagi!

_Oh crap...crap..._

* * *

_Raph's POV_

Raph's eyes lit up with relief as he recognized Mikey's emotions, knowing he was nearby somewhere but frowned in fear as he sensed the terror coming from him.

"Mikey! Are you okay?" He called out, rushing over to his wild eye brother, his eyes roaming Mikey's body for injuries. He didn't see anything and was about to touch Mikey's arm but Mikey flinched back, his blue eyes bright and wobbly.

Mikey shook his head, "No, no, no, R...Raph…U...u...Usagi was here!" he cried out, the fear almost overwhelming Raph, who quivered slightly under the strain of calming his brother.

"Usagi's locked up Mikey, he ain't here. It wuz a nightmare!" Raph said, trying to calm his brother. _What the Fuck is goin' on? If tha' bunny is here, he's gonna die! _He glanced around, trying to find signs of Usagi's footprints but found no signs.

Mikey's eyes begged his brother to believe him, "No Raph, y...you don't understand, he was here! I swear! I saw him!"

Raph's eyes narrowed as he pulled a Sai out, glancing around in fear, "Where ya see 'im Mikey?" _Dis feels to real for it ta be a nightmare..._ as he tensed up, gripping his Sai tightly as he stepped forward slightly as he made sure Mikey was behind him just in case.

Mikey bit his lip, shaking his head slightly, "I…I'm not sure…" he said in a small voice that sounded confused.

"Wha' ya mean ya ain't sure? Ya saw 'im, right?" Raph asked, glancing at his brother, wondering if he was still under the affects of that powder from last night. _Hmmmm, maybe tha' stuff last night still messin' 'im up..._

"I…I saw him..." Mikey whispered, waving his hands back towards the river where he had been earlier.

Raph led the way, his eyes darting everywhere, frowning as his nose caught a scent that he knew wasn't normal and his heart sped up with a sudden fear as he realized what he scented.

"Where Mike?" Raph asked roughly, his voice filled with a cold anger.

"B...b...by that b...bush over t...t...there," Mikey said, pointing towards it hesitantly, scared by the anger filling Raph, stepping back unsure and panicked now.

"Ya saw 'im? Ya sure?" Raph asked, stalking over, his sharp eyes not seeing any broken branches or crushed leaves but that scent was driving him insane. "There ain't no one there now Mikey..." he said with a frown.

Mikey bit his lip, his emotions in turmoil as he struggled to get his brother to believe him. "He ...he was there Raph…" he said in a small murmur, hesitantly.

"There ain't no one there now, Mikey…are ya sure?" Raph said, concerned and worried. _Tha' bunny...he hast'a be here...tha' scent...tha' fear..._

Mikey shook his head, his fear filling his insides as he felt nauseous and scared. "He….he was there…" he said in a wobbly voice, "You…you believe me…don't you?" Mikey asked, his blue eyes staring at him, praying he would believe him.

"I ain't sure ya saw somethin' or ya mind made ya see somethin'," Raph said slowly, "but ya say ya saw Bunny boy…I'm gunna tend ta believe ya."

Mikey flinched as he felt Raph's yearning to believe him but there was doubt there and it made Mikey feel miserable.

"You don't believe me…" Mikey said with a sigh. _It's okay, I don't really understand it either…I'm sure I saw him…and I feel strange…off…_

Raph led Mikey back to camp and started to make some breakfast. He frowned when he noticed the fear in Mikey's eyes, and his eyes darting around terrified. _Na, he hadta have seen 'im ta have tha' in 'is eyes...but how? Usagi's locked up in the Daimyo's universe. There ain't no way he can be picked up...is there...fuck...wha' do I do? What if he's not...How do I protect 'im?_

"Mikey, how about you get some rest after you eat? I'll be right here," Raph suggested quietly, seeing how jumpy Mikey was.

"Um...I...I don't feel hungry Raph...I feel kinda sick..." Mikey admitted with a upset look and slightly pale. "Can we go back to the farm?"

Raph sighed, nodding his head, "Ya sure, com'n, let's start packing."

Mikey nodded, quiet as he attempted to help pack up everything. He frowned when he saw Raph only packing the food and the tent. "Aren't we bringing everything back?"

"Nah, I figure we can come back when the others get back. How's tha' sound?" Raph replied with a small smile.

Mikey smiled weakly back, "Okay..." _Sounds like fun..._

Soon they were ready to head back and Mikey carried a backpack full of the lighter items and blankets. "Can we stop by Splinter's grave?" Mikey asked, "I...I need to talk to him..."

Raph smiled, "Sure, we'll break off, you go to Splinter's grave while I bring the bags back?"

Mikey smiled, nodding, "Thanks Raph."

"No problem," Raph replied, shrugging his shoulders.

They walked for awhile, jumpy and tense as they travelled the path they used before.

Soon, they were getting close to where Splinter was buried when Raph frowned, tense at the intense emotions he was feeling ahead. He heard Mikey stumble and gasp and he whirled around, his heart racing in fear.

"Mikey, wha' happened?" Raph asked, kneeling beside his shaken brother.

"Someone is sad...really sad...and the other furious and pissed off..." Mikey gasped out, his head pounding at the intense emotions, "they are scared and angry...grief...anger...betrayal..." he felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, "someone hurt them...hurt their hearts so badly..."

"Mikey?" Raph questioned, a little scared at the intense way Mikey was sensing the emotions and a little frightened at the circumstances, "Maybe we should go ta the farmhouse instead..."

"NO! Something's wrong...they are scared...something's wrong...I think with Splinter?" Mikey said, wincing as he pushed himself back to his feet, shoving Raph aside as he strode forward, determined to get answers.

"Mikey..." Raph called out, running after him, knowing it would take another 5 minutes before they reached the gravesite, "jist wait..." but Mikey didn't listen.

Raph cursed, chasing after him as his shell cell rang.

Leo..._Crap, I so don't want ta talk to 'im right now..._ he thought as he yanked the phone opened, "What Leo? Speak fast cause I'm tryin' ta stop Mikey headin' ta Splinter's grave. He says somethin' wrong..."

"STOP HIM!" Leo bellowed out quickly, his own heart racing as Don's hands accidently jerked to the side of the road because of his scream.

"I'm tryin' ta, why?" Raph said impatiently as he shoved the branches aside, seeing Mikey ahead now, about 7 steps in front of him, panting slightly from the exhertion of running.

"Raph, I'm serious, stop him right now. Splinter's grave was dug up!" Leo said quickly.

"WHAT!?" Raph bellowed back, his heart fuelling the fire that screamed through his body. He saw Mikey stumble ahead and knew that was caused by his anger.

He quickly ran ahead, "Mikey, stop now!" he ordered, "I need you to listen to me, okay!?" he asked his little brother, frowning at the sweat that had built up on Mikey's forehead.

"No, they need me..." Mikey rasped out, "Now..."

"NO!" Raph said angrily, dropping the shell cell as he grabbed Mikey's nub of a shoulder, wincing as he realized the pain it caused to Mikey, who cried out.

Suddenly something slammed into Raph's skull and the lights went out for Raph.

The last thing he heard was Mikey's scream of terror.


	31. Attacked

Chapter 31

Mikey panted harshly, his breathe screaming for air as he ran the opposite way, hearing Usagi's teasing words behind him.

"Michelangelo...you know better..." Usagi called out from behind him, "enough now..."

Mikey's shook his head in fear, terror bubbling deep inside his body. He wanted to check on Raph. _Raph's dead...Raph's...oh god..._ his terrified mind thought as he tried to run faster.

Something whistled through the air behind him and wrapped around his legs. He cried out, legs snapping together painfully as he fell to the ground with a thud. Leaves and branches scraped his arms and legs as he tumbled along the ground.

He tried kicking his legs frantically to escape the rope that wrapped around his legs. Suddenly, Usagi was there in front of him. His heart beating faster and faster in fear as he glanced up, shuddering with terror, "Please...no..."

"You either please me...or I shall go and find your brothers body to use..." Usagi said furiously, looking almost crazy as his eyes glinted in anger.

Mikey's eyes filled with tears at the thought of Usagi hurting his brother's body, desecrating it the way he had been used and shuddered in disgust at the thought. "No..." he whispered, leaning away from Usagi's paw that had reached out to caress his face.

Usagi looked furious at the disrespect and his arm moved, blurring through the air as it smashed into Mikey's right cheek. Mikey cried out in pain, his face jerked to the left as he fell to the ground. His hand reached up, touching his face as he peeked up at Usagi, still trying to kick his legs loose of the rope, feeling it get slack.

"You should know better than that Michelangelo," Usagi said easily, kneeling down to eye level, a leer on his scarred face, one ear cut off halfway through.

Mikey eyed him with fear, his body shaking as he leaned away but his eyes lit up with anger, "Fuck off!"

Usagi growled in anger, reeling back as he pounded into paw into Mikey's face repeatedly. Mikey cried out, his arm trying to push Usagi away as he finally tried fighting back, only to have Usagi pin his arm down around his wrist.

He struggled, trying to buck Usagi off as he grinded against his waist. "Oh Michelangelo...what has happened to my beautiful pet?" he purred, sniffing Mikey's neck.

Mikey's fear bubbled to the surfaced as he tried to buck him off, his head darting back and forth frantically as he screamed for help. "RAPH!" he screamed, praying that his brother would hear him.

Usagi's face morphed into anger, glaring angrily at Mikey as he bit down on his throat, causing Mikey to cry out in pain.

_No, no, not again, please...no no no no Raph...someone...save me... you promised ... stop him...stop...no...stop..._

Mikey felt Usagi's free paw roaming his body, particularly curious about the smoothness of his amputated arm. He shuddered at the dirty feeling he was getting. "Please stop..." he begged, tears rolling down his pale cheeks.

"Why did you lose your arm?" Usagi questioned, "Why did they ruin you more?"

"You ruined me!" Mikey cried out, trying to pull away from Usagi's nails scratching the smooth skin.

"No..I merely showed you what you were always were," Usagi said slowly, his eyes looking down lustfully at him, "On my world, you would be my concubine..."

Mikey shook his head, denying his words before he reacted and spat in Usagi's face.

He cried out as Usagi reacted, grabbing him by his head and slammed his skull into the ground below him. Mikey cried out in pain, his skull throbbing with pain as the world turned hazy. He could hear Usagi's voice screaming at him but he couldn't make out the words.

He felt himself being moved and struggled to get his body to move and react to his commands. Mikey whimpered as he realized the position that Usagi shoved him into and the ropes being pulled free from his legs.

"No...nonono" he muttered as Usagi's paws touched his lower half, shoving his legs apart.

"NO!" he screamed, kicking backwards as he struggled to get free, enjoying the cry of pain coming from Usagi as he managed to kick him in the stomach.

He heard Usagi hit the ground, his paws gone from his body and he was free!

He jumped to his feet, starting to run as fast as he could in the direction where he had seen Raph. He recalled his Empathy sensed people ahead and he had a feeling it could have been Casey and April. He couldn't help but run, hearing Usagi cursing in his native tongue behind him, chasing him.

His hear thudded in fear as he scrambled over the dirt and branches on the ground. He knew his empathy could be used as a weapon at times, he had sent his brothers to the ground with his pain.

He channeled all his pent up anger and pain, directing it towards Usagi only to scream as he felt pain envelop the core of his mind.

He fell to the ground with a thud, his body unable to comprehend what just hit him. He felt odd, disconnected with what he was feeling and experiencing when he heard footsteps coming closer to him. His mind shook with fear at knowing Usagi was getting him.

_They didn't save me..._ he thought, wanting to give into the desire to pass out. Something touched his shoulder and he wanted to scream and react but he couldn't move. He was turned over, hearing a blurred voice near him as his vision struggled to identify the pale pink blob in front of him with black around it. _A head...I think...not Usagi...he doesn't look like that..._

He blinked, struggling to focus his vision as the hands touched his body, shaking him. His head lolled side to side as another blob came near him, this time with red around its head. _Definitely not Usagi...where's Raphie...I want Raph..._

He felt the hands lift him; a drone of noise came from the heads, a strange ringing tone nearby as the noise became louder.

He flinched slightly as a hand touch his arm, placing pressure on it and he didn't know why. _Please stop...that hurts..._ he thought, wishing he could move...speak...and really wished he could see...

_Raphie...where are you?_

* * *

April's and Casey's POV

April sighed as she replanted the rosebushes that had been uprooted, sorrow building in her chest. _Who would do such a thing?_ She thought as she glanced over to where Casey was putting together the last of the carving of the coffin.

He looked angry and pissed, his movements jerk and sharp as he carved in the design.

April didn't pay attention as she reached out to grab the rose bush, yelping as the thorns scraped her inner palms.

"APRIL! Ya okay?" Casey cried out, rushing over in a panic, seeing some blood dripping from her palms.

April sighed, "I'm fine Casey..." she said, batting his hands away as she pushed herself up from her kneeling position and walked to her nearby backpack.

Casey sighed, brushing his hair back nervously, "I'm sorry Ape...I'm just...strung out I guess..."

April shook her own head, hair falling into her face as she grabbed a wipe out of her backpack's First Aid kit and cleaned her hands. "No Casey..." she said sighing, her voice shaky as she glanced over at Splinter's wrapped remains.

"I...I'm just so...furious and angry... and upset..." she said, throwing the wipe down angrily, "Casey...who would do this?" she cried out, the sorrow building up as she stared at the ruined grave site.

"I don't know April...but whoever did it...is one sick son of a bitch..." Casey said darkly, "maybe it was Usagi...ya think he got away?"

"I don't know Casey...but I'm a little scared that if he did..." April said sadly, shaking her head with a sigh, "Mikey's gonna be lost more than ever."

Casey grabbed April, holding her shoulders gently as he looked deep into her eyes, "Ape, we ain't gonna let tha' bunny git Mikey ever again!"

"But..." April protested, "this guy...this monster...dug up Splinter! I mean.. how is Raph and Mikey going to react if they see it like this!? See Splinter like this!?"

Suddenly they heard a commotion blow up in the woods nearby, a scream echoed loudly through the air.

"RAPHIE!"

April and Casey moved as one, running toward the commotion. They stumbled over Raph's still body and no one else around.

"Raph," Casey cried out, pushing Raph over, gasping at the bleeding head wound.

"Casey, put pressure on it!" April ordered quickly as she frantically checked Raph's pulse. Worry flowed through her as she detected the weak and unsteady pulse.

"Let me see it," she said, interrupting Casey's panicked, "Oh crap, oh crap."

Casey removed his slightly shaking hands as April grimaced at the sight. Raph's scalp looked like it was cut deeply by something sharp on one side but blunt on the other. The cut was long and deep, about 6 inches long. "We need to stitch him up...go grab my First Aid Kit and then look for Mikey."

Casey nodded, "Ya, sure, I can do tha'." He said as he ran and grabbed the backpack, tossing it by April. He started looking around, trying to find out where Mikey was.

April concentrated on Raph's wound, worry flowing through her as she saw how deep it was. Cleaning it out, she started to sew it closed, praying that she knew what she was doing.

A few minutes later, she tied it off and covered it with gauze. Her left hand reached into her bag as she grabbed the shell cell, dialling Donnie's number.

"Donnie?" she called out as the phone connected.

"What's up April? We're almost there," Donnie started saying when April interrupted, "Raph was attacked."

"WHAT?" Donnie screamed out in shock.

"Raph was attacked Donnie and we can't find Mikey!" April said quickly, fear in her voice.

"What? What exactly happened?" Donnie questioned.

"I don't know..." April said with a sigh, "All I know is Raph was hit hard in the head and there is a deep 6 inch cut on his scalp that I stitched together."

"Is he conscious?" Donnie asked fearfully.

"No, he hasn't even twitched the whole time I worked on him and his pulse is slow and weak..." April said with a frown.

"Crap, is this going to get worse?" Donnie muttered, "wait, you said Mikey isn't there? He wouldn't leave Raph alone like that."

"No, he's not here," April replied when Casey returned, shaking his head, "Someone ambushed them...and they look like Usagi's tracks."

"Guys, I think Usagi's here..." April said terrified, glancing around, "and Mikey's missing."

A loud commotion nearby occurred and Casey stepped in front of April and Raph, protecting them. They could hear screamed and Casey was suddenly moving.

Raph groaned below them and April quickly started patting his cheek, "Raph, com'n, hurry and wake up. Mikey needs you!"

"Wha hitsssssssss mmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeee?" Raph slurred out, his eyes still closed in pain, "h...hurrtsssss."

"I know Raph but you need to wake up..." April said concerned, "Don, he's awake, get here soon. I have to go," she said and hung up the phone.

Casey ran forward, picking up a nearby branch for protection as he investigated the noise.

He peered into the bushes, gasping as he saw Mikey's foot. "MIKEY!" he cried out, rushing over. He could see the various bruises and cuts all over his body.

"Mikey, are ya okay?" he called out, looking around as he kneeled beside Mikey. No one seem to be around and it was quiet. _Wha da fuck happened?_

"Mikey! Com'n man, answer me," he called out frantically, tapping Mikey's face frantically, a little freaked at the zoned-out gaze.

"MIKEY!" he called again, wondering why he wasn't moving at all. His body was lax and his head lolled to the side.

"What happened to him Casey?" April questioned, helping Raph stumble over.

"I don't know Ape," Casey said worriedly. "Mike...Mike...com'n...look at me! What's wrong with you!?" he said frantically, patting his face in hopes of getting his attention.

"Whaaaa wrrrooonnnggg..." Raph slurred out, slumping to the ground beside Mikey, still out of it.

"I don't know...we should jist get 'im back to tha' house," Casey said with a frown, wincing as he kneeled in the ground, his arms reaching underneath Mikey's leg and upper shell before hefting him up as he stood.

"Is he too heavy?" April asked with a frown as she stood up beside Casey, worried as she gave her arm to Raph to get up.

"No, he's pretty light. Is Raph 'kay?" Casey asked as they headed back to the house.

"I think he has a pretty bad concussion and he's a little out of it. We have to keep him awake," April explained.

"Miiiikeeey's hurt," Raph said, stumbling along beside April.

"We know that Raph," April said calmly, helping him along.

"We need ta get home," Casey said sternly.

* * *

Three Hours later:

"Sooo what's wrong wit Mikey?" Raph asked with a moan, his head throbbing in pain as he moved closer to Mikey's bed.

"Sit down Raph," Donnie said exaspretly, "it's bad enough your hurt with a concussion."

Raph sat down with a plop, his eyes glazed and a little vacant as he stared at Mikey.

Leo spoke up, "What's wrong with Mikey?"

"I don't know...it's like he got hit with some sort of toxin that paralyzed his body..." Donnie said with a frown, checking Mikey's vitals, "and there's not much I can do until his body clears it out on it's own."

"Who did this?" Leo questioned, directing it towards Raph, "who attacked you?"

"I have no clue...one minute...we...were yellin' at eachother... he could sense those two..." Raph said, pointing at Casey and April, "and we wuz runnin' towards Splinter's grave...I yelled at 'im ta stop when something slammed inta my skull...Tha's the last thin' I remembah..."

"What about you guys?" Donnie asked April, "what do you remember?"

April shrugged, "We heard a scream...it was Raph's name. It was filled with so much fear...and then we found Raph."

Casey picked it up, "After searching for a bit, we found Mikey...but he was like tha'..." pointing at him, "he couldn't move or nuthin..."

Donnie frowned, perplexed and upset, "Leo discovered Usagi had died in prison...so whoever attacked them can't be him."

"Are you sure Leo? Did they find a body?" Casey asked, glancing at him.

"Well, the Daimyo said that the prison guards found the body of Usagi hacked apart...and the body has the various scars that identified it Usagi..." Leo said with a frown, "the reports state that all evidence pointed to it being Usagi."

"Do you know why he was killed?" April questioned.

Leo nodded, looking a little sick, "He went after a young offender...assaulted him repeatedly before being caught..." he said looking disturbed.

Raph finally spoke, "Wha' wuz wrong wit tha'? Why ya look upset?"

Leo sighed, rubbing his face tiredly, "The Daimyo told me the offender's name was Mikai, who had blue eyes like Mikey and always smiled. The prisoners liked him and enjoyed his personality...he acted like a kid..." he whispered the next words, "Usagi called him Michelangelo and raped him brutally before paralyzing him...and the prisoners didn't like it...they retaliated..."

"What was he doing in prison?" Donnie asked, upset at the story.

"Mikai was sent to prison for killing his mother's murderer...unfortunately the people who do kill get sent to the same prison as the rest of the filth..." Leo explained sadly, "and he wasn't the same after that. The prisoners rallied behind Mikai and supported him...but by the time Usagi died...Mikai had suffered under him. The magic wore off and the pain of hidden injuries finally killed him."

"So da bunny is dead...ya sure?" Raph asked, his head slumping forward as he tried to sleep.

"No Raph, stay awake...just for awhile longer..." Don said, shaking Raph.

"The Daimyo believes that Usagi perished in prison..." Leo said with a shrug, "we should be able to trust that..."

They nodded, grateful that Usagi was now dead...

* * *

Mikey lay on the bed, unable to move but as he lay there, he became more and more aware of what was happening around him. _Raphie's right there...he's not dead..._

_He's alive..._

_What's wrong with me?_

_Why can't I move?_

_Usagi's dead?_

_No...that's not true..._

_He was there..._

_He touched me..._

_Lies..._

Mikey tried fighting against the fog in his brain, trying to get control back on his body but it refused to listen.

_He's alive guys! Please...believe me...he's alive..._


	32. Blow Up

**YAY, Lo and Behold this better work! I'm getting frustrated. LOL. Anyway, 18th time to upload is a charm and hopefully this chapter actually posts!**

**Because if it does, I can upload the next one by tomorrow of I get lots of reviews. LOL**

**Anyway, I'm updating and writing again. I've been sick lately, which sucks and feeling a lot better. Going to be updating all my recent fics and possibly posting a few small stories I've been working on. **

**I Hope everyone had a wicked Christmas and a Safe New Year!**

* * *

Chapter 32

_NO!_

_He's here!_

_Guys!_

_Help me!_

Mikey struggled to open his heavy eyes, wanting to look around, to make sure Usagi was not near him.

He struggled, whimpering as he felt a hand on his arm and a voice calling to him. "NOOOO," he whispered, his throat aching painfully as he tried moving away from the touch.

"Mikey, it's okay! It's just me," the voice called out gently, "It's Donnie, can you open your eyes?"

Mikey whimpered, his head jerking side to side as he tried opening his eyes again, gasping as the light from the ceiling hurt his eyes. He closed them quickly, facing away as he whimpered.

"It's okay Mike, we turned it off now. Can you open your eyes again?" Donnie said again, gently.

Mikey tried again, this time his eyes didn't burn as he opened them, glancing around, trying to focus his sight. He was so glad to see Donnie standing there, Leo was right behind him.

_Where's Raph?_ He wondered, glancing around carefully. "Raf..." he slurred out, still a little out of it.

"Raph's sleeping in his room right now but he'll be fine," Donnie explained, "Tell me how you feel...can you move your hands and feet?"

Mikey frowned, concentrating as he moved his limps, wondering why they felt strange, "Hea...heavy..." he rasped out, moving his hand up half a foot before allowing it to fall back on the bed.

"Yes, it must be heavy. Something happened to you guys...and you inhaled or got bit by something," Donnie explained, "so you still have some in your system. Do you remember what happened?"

Mikey bit his lip, trying to get his fuzzy mind to focus, memories of the day before flashed through his mind.

"RAPH!" he screamed, his one hand pushing against the bed agitatedly as he tried to sit up. His whole arm shook with the effort; glaring as Donnie pushed him back down, "Raph's hurt!" he said rapidly, eyes darting around.

"He's fine! Raph's okay. He was hurt but he's fine now," Don said hurriedly, "Leo, go wake Raph up and bring him here!" he commanded.

"But he just fell asleep!" Leo protested.

Fear enveloped the room, building in intensity as Mikey screamed Raph's name again.

Donnie and April both tried holding Mikey down only to see him panic even more, trembling as the fear overwhelmed them. "Mikey, turn your shield on!" Donnie demanded as April faltered, her grip failing.

Mikey gasped, "No, please, you don't understand, he's here!" Mikey babbled out, "he hurt Raph...RAPH!" he screamed again.

Leo was yanking Raph into the room, ignoring his grumblings and slurred words as he hurried inside. "He's here!" Leo cried out, seeing Donnie and April slumping slightly.

"Raph, Raph!" Mikey cried out, ignoring the pain in his body as he fell from the bed, stumbling towards him. Raph's arms went around him quickly, calming him before he relaxed and smiled.

Raph glanced down at Mikey, clearly confused and upset at having been awoken, "Wha' da hell happened?" he asked as he helped bring Mikey back to the bed.

Donnie shrugged, "He panicked when he didn't see you," as he quickly checked Mikey vitals.

"So what happened?" Raph asked Mikey gently.

"H..he was here Raph. I swear!" Mikey said, starting to tremble as he recalled what happened, "H...he hit you...and you fell...and I ran...I'm so sorry!" Mikey said, filled with shame and guilt.

"Mikey, Usagi's dead, it can't be him," Leo said shortly, "Something else happened but it wasn't Usagi."

Mikey's eyes widened, his heart leaping with some joy at the thought of a dead Usagi but as he glanced at his brother and reached out, he could tell that Don and Leo didn't believe him.

"H...he's not dead...guys...h...he attacked me..." Mikey said, now uncertain.

"Mikey, we came from seeing the Daimyo..." Donnie slowly explained, "Usagi died in prison...he was torn apart..."

"No, he's alive guys! Really!" Mikey begged for them to believe him but he could tell they didn't.

"Raph, you believe me, right?" Mikey turned to his twin, begging for him to believe him.

"I believe somethin' attacked ya, I know tha' much," Raph said, his head still pounding, "but if da Daimyo says bunny boy is dead and he has da parts to prove it...it's kinda hard not to believe."

Mikey bit his lip, wondering if he should continue and just shook his head sadly. He didn't want to try and convince them. They should have just believed him when he said what he saw what he saw but in his heart, he knew they didn't.

_Bros, please...why can't you believe me? Please...why would I lie about this? _He wondered to himself before he turned his head away.

_They don't believe me...they need to see it...see him...and for that to happen...U...Usagi...needs to come back..._

Mikey shivered on the bed, lost in thought as he glanced out the window. He could sense his brothers' frowns on their faces but he ignored it.

_I'm alone with this again...I told them...and they didn't believe me...I knew they wouldn't...nothing but lies..._ he thought bitterly before he fell asleep.

* * *

Days passed as both Raph and Mikey healed. Raph had been working with Mikey for the last week on his spelling and writing and it was paying off but Mikey hated how childish his writing looked and had complained so Raph was showing a new way of writing instead of block letters which frustrated Mikey even more.

One day, Mikey glared at Raph, who was trying to be patient and teach him about how to write with his remaining hand but Mikey wasn't being a good student.

"Jist try it Mikey!" Raph demanded, "How ya gonna learn if ya don't do it?"

"What's the point of writing if you're just going to read it again!" Mikey shot back angrily, only to cringe in guilt at the sight of Raph deflating tiredly.

"Look Mike, if ya don't know it by now but I'm tryin' ta help ya," he said calmly, his shoulders drooped, "and ya know I read it 'cause I was tryin' ta help...I was...jist tryin' ta help..."

Mikey sighed, staring at the sheet of paper in front of him, his fist clenched on the desk as he sighed, "I'm sorry Raph..." he said regretfully, shaking his head, "I...I don't want to write anymore...w...what if someone reads my journal again..." he admitted sadly, "I...I don't think I can take that... you don't know how much it hurt me to see it torn in two."

"Tell me about it," Raph said gently, sitting on the bed, "why wuz it so bad?"

"You know that feeling...like when you feel so wonderfully good or unbelievably sad?" Mikey said slowly.

At Raph's nod, he continued, "In my journal...I wrote about my dreams...my wishes. I wrote about your reactions to pranks and the way things happened. I put my entire soul into that book...it was bursting with my life...my love, my sadness, my despair and my fear..." he explained, trying to get him to understand, "and that...that day I discovered...I had written in it...without realizing it, I felt defiled and angry."

"But it was you who wrote in it...wasn't it?" Raph interrupted, confused.

"Yes...it was me," Mikey said slowly as he stood up and paced, "but it was a me that was so hidden behind spells and crap, that I had no idea, no clue who that was. I was just realizing the ramifications of what...the abused me... wrote... that..." he stopped, tearing up as glanced back at the table, at the new book that lay on the right corner still empty.

"And what Mikey?" Raph asked carefully, knowing he was close to a clue to something.

"You don't write in something thinking someone will read it. You write it so it can extend your own thoughts, pull it out of your brain, figure it out on your own...so everything doesn't get all messed up..." Mikey whispered, "it helps you break away from the life you're living and lets you put your hopes...your dreams... everything you ever thought you could be... if I wanted to be smart. I could write that. I could write something that I did that was smart enough to be praised and it was golden when I wrote it. But...t...the abused me... the one U...U...Usagi...broke...and defiled...dirtied my journal...and when Leo tore it in half and threw it on the ground..." Mikey felt the tears slip down his pale cheeks as his body trembled, "it was like...I was nothing but trash...garbage... that I wasn't worth a thing...and it's true..."

Raph's eyes widened at the implications of what Mikey just said and he couldn't believe it, "That's not true Mike!" he said quickly, jumping to his feet.

"It is true Raph! Look at me!" Mikey roared angrily, "I'm healing but I'm still nothing! Hell, even Usagi said I would only be a concubine on his planet! That's all I'm worth...and if that's all I am, then why should I write...why should I even exist! I'm nothing but garbage...I'm a one armed freak of nature that shouldn't even exist!"

"I wrote my hopes in that journal Raphie...I wrote my dreams of being Turtle Titan...I wrote my costumes...ways to make you all laugh...special events I planned...hell...I even wrote about what it would be like getting married and having turtle babies!" Mikey admitted with a laugh that sounded almost crazy, "I wrote about a future with father at my side at the next Battle Nexxus or the day we defeat Shredder..."

Raph was about to interrupt but Mikey continued in his rant, "I wrote about everything that would make me...live in a world where those things can happen! I wrote about things I thought would be possible. Nobody would ever want me, nor will I ever have kids! You think I don't know what the doctors told me!? I'm not stupid!"

"No one said you were! What the heck are you talking about?" Raph questioned in confusion, now out of his element.

"Everything...I thought I was...was gone...and as much as you want him back...he's gone..." Mikey said, a tear slipping down his cheek, "he's gone...and some days...I can't even stand to look at myself...all I want to do is scream till it all stops but I can't..."

"Mikey, no, listen, Usagi didn't make ya into nuthin'..." Raph retorted said, storming closer, furious at his words, "Ya thinkin' too much about t'is. We don't want da old you back...we jist want you!"

"You never wanted me! You wanted Mikey...the kid bro you always teased and tried to beat up after a prank! You want the whole damn world to go back the way it was..." Mikey screamed back, "You all treat me like I'm some kind of stupid kid! I'm not! I can think you know, I can see those stupid little secret conversations you all had. I'm not stupid!"

"No one said you were!" Raph screamed back, now furious as he whirled around, slamming some books off a nearby shelf.

"You all act like I am but I ain't! Raph, have you ever had a serious discussion with me? Like before all this went on?" Mikey said, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Well, no...not really..." Raph replied, now confused.

"No, none of you have. The most serious discussion I ever had was with Leo and I was fighting Kluh! Even Master Splinter didn't take me seriously! Ya think I don't know I'm worth nothing!? I know I am! For some damn reason, you want me around and I have no idea why!" Mikey roared angrily, "and now you're trying to fix me...to make me into someone I used to be...giving me a journal...my room...I'm never going to be that Mikey...I hate him..."

A voice from the doorway asked in shock, "You hate yourself?"

Mikey turned, glaring as Donnie walked in, followed by Leo, "Yes. I hate myself. Why don't you jot that down in your doctor's notes!" he snarled angrily.

"Why are you so angry with us!?" Leo asked calmly, stepping into the room.

"Why? Why?" Mikey asked, his anger growing to new heights, "because you don't believe me that I saw Usagi and your keeping secrets from me!"

"We have never kept secrets from you!" Leo said angrily, his shoulders drawn back in anger, "Why would we!?"

"You never told me about Splinter's grave!" Mikey snarled back, his blue eyes lighting with a lit fuse, "you kept it from me and re-buried him without even telling me...or even allowing me to be there! Heck, I know Raph was there and I know you drugged me Donnie!"

"We didn't think you needed more trauma," Donnie said regretfully.

"No, but I do need some truthful brothers," Mikey said, shaking his head.

"You want da truth Mikey?" Raph asked.

"Yes, I want the truth!" Mikey countered, whirling around to face him.

"Well, the truth is I'm fed up with this poor me routine of yours. Oh poor Mikey. Mikey was hurt, Mikey was injured...Mikey is disabled," Raph spat out, his hands curling into fists as he approached him, making Mikey cringe slightly. "Mikey was raped by a damn rabbit and having a hard time dealing with it! Grow a set and man up! So what, you were raped, get over it!"

Mikey paled at the harsh words but Raph wasn't done yet, "Ya make me sick sometimes, playing this pity card and when we try ta help ya, ya get angry at us, throwing our mistakes back at us! Well no fuckin' more! We're your brothers Mike, ya gotta start treating us like tha' or screw you."

Mikey trembled under Raph's harsh glare, his eyes shining with tears, "You... you don't want me guys..." he said in a small voice, looking meek and terrified at the same time, "you want a Me that doesn't exist anymore...and...and I can't find him..."

"Then we'll help you but you gotta work wit us!" Raph said, his rage diminishing in an instant, "if ya let us in...let us help you...then we can git this ta work!"

Mikey hesitated, "I...I don't think I can..." he admitted sadly.

"Why not?" Leo demanded to know, "You're a part of this family Mikey... we want you with us...unless you want to throw us away."

Mikey's heart clenched with pain as he shook his head rapidly at the thought, "NO! That's not it!"

"You still blame us..." Donnie said calmly, "You haven't forgiven us...and that's why it's so hard."

Mikey blanched at the words, his heart hurt as he admitted it was true.

"Is that true Mikey?" Leo asked, his eyes wide as he stared at them.

Mikey sighed, walking to his bed as he decided to admit the truth, "Yes...it's true."

* * *

_**Ack, don't kill me! LOL**_


	33. Freaky Coincidences

Chapter 33

"Mikey, we didn't know!" Raph said, shocked and hurt.

"I know..." Mikey said, shaking his head, frustrated as he rubbed his forehead as a headache started to pound.

"But then that-" Leo started to say when Donnie touched his arm, stopping him, "No Leo, he has the right to say that...but he does have to explain it."

Mikey growled slightly, knowing he had to finally admit his anger and the truth, "Look...I am angry...and I do blame you. I hate you in some ways...I really do. I hate Sensei for even going to the Nexxus that year...allowing us to meet Usagi," he said, sighing, "but I hate Leo for not only becoming his friend, but him bragging about me...he's obsessed with me. Like Stalker obsessed," he explained.

"But what about me?" Donnie asked with a frown, "what did I do?"

"You didn't discover Usagi's magic!" Mikey said angrily, "You, a techno whiz and genius extraordinaire, should have seen it!"

"And me?" Raph said deadpanned.

"And you...you..." Mikey said, shaking his head, his eyes filled with pain, "you never saved me!"

Their eyes widened as Mikey's wall of pain came down and watched curiously as he closed his eyes for a moment. Suddenly, a moment later, Mikey's eyes snapped open, shining a little more as he stepped forward, touching their arms.

Suddenly, they could feel a fraction of the pain and terror Mikey felt the nights Usagi came, hearing some of his words, and saw what Mikey went through one particular night that hurt Mikey a lot.

_**Mikey sobbed on the ground as he was thrust into roughly, his face pressed against his floor. He could hear Usagi panting behind him, gripping his hips as he dug in with his claws and it hurt...god it hurt... **_

'_**They hate you, you know..." Usagi whispered in the twilight, forcing Mikey to once more look at the picture of his brothers in front of him. **_

"_**T...they...d...don't..." Mikey gasped out in pain, wincing as it seemed Usagi was getting rougher. He could smell blood and knew it was from him. **_

"_**Leonardo approached Donatello today, asking about their plans to head out. They wanted to make sure you would not be able to attend," Usagi said as he cried out, making Mikey cringe as he felt the familiar liquid deep inside him. **_

"_**I...I hate you..." Mikey rasped out, closing his eyes on his brothers faces, tears slipping down his cheeks. **_

"_**Ah yes, I know this Michelangelo..." Usagi purred out, approaching Michelangelo as he forced him to sit up. **_

"_**But you are worthy...a clean and pure spirit...just think...if your family never spoke on how childish and innocent your spirit was...I would never have found such a lovely pet..." Usagi said laughing as he threw a washcloth at him. **_

_**Mikey caught it as he paled, "My brothers told you about me?" he squeaked out. **_

"_**Your brothers have told everyone in the Nexxus how talented and brilliant you are...how athletic you are...as well as how flexible you can be...which I now believe..." Usagi said as he walked towards the desk, "Even your father has express his pride when talking about your Chi control. The best he has ever seen for one so young...Leonardo has told me how much you are all connected...that when one falls...you all fall...is that true?"**_

_**Mikey's face fell, his heart racing as he realized personal information was given. "Clean yourself Michelangelo and maybe I will allow you to sleep with your Panda that your father gave you for your 5**__**th**__** birthday tonight!"**_

_**His heart in his throat as he started to cry, realizing his secrets, his cherished memories had been shared with Usagi. **_

_**Mikey whimpered, obeying his words as he cleaned his body as Usagi mixed a drink at his desk. He shuddered, betrayal deep in his soul as his heart began to crack apart. **_

_**Usagi approached him, handing him a drink, "Drink this...and I will be sure to leave a nightlight on since I know you fear the darkness because of a cave in when you were three."**_

_**Mikey grabbed the drink as fast as he could, wanting to forget it all as he gulped it down. **_

'_**It wasn't true...his brothers...his family...they didn't betray him...but how did Usagi know...'**_

Mikey knew they understood then, that they realized how hard it was to forget. He shook his head, hearing the silence grow in the room as he sat back on the bed, exhausted.

"It's hard guys...it's hard to let go of that betrayal...that pain...and just forgive you..." Mikey admitted quietly, "but it's fading. That anger...that hurt...and I know it will happen..."

"When Mikey?" Donnie choked out, almost in tears.

"I don't know..." Mikey said quietly, "but I'm willing to start trying harder now..."

"You promise?" Leo asked; his body pale and his eyes filled with tears.

"Yes...if Raph really thinks it would help to write...then I'll start writing again..." Mikey said hesitantly, glancing at his twin worriedly.

"I think ya need ta write Mike...I really do...take da night off...we'll work more on ya lettering tomorrow..." Raph said in a forced tone but his fists were clenched at his side, "and I want ya to work out for an hour tomorrow!"

Mikey gulped, shivering but he did say he would try, "Okay Raph..."

Raph nodded, before he pushed past his brothers and left the room.

Soon Mikey heard Don and Leo whisper 'Good Night' to him before leaving him alone. He frowned as he stood there, unsure of what to do but as exhaustion over took him, he decided he would sleep.

* * *

Usagi's POV

Usagi watched the farmhouse curiously, seeing Raphael storm out of the house, clearly angered and furious. He chuckled lightly, knowing the anger stemmed because of him.

"Tsk, tsk, still cannot control that anger, can you?" he whispered to himself as he disappeared into the trees. He decided that he was intrigued by the fire in Raphael and followed him.

Raphael seemed to be heading to the river and that excited Usagi. He recalled that without his punching bag, Raphael enjoyed swimming in the pool. He hurried forward, eager to mess with him.

As Raphael stopped to take his gear off, Usagi grinned at the sight, licking his lips excited.

Raphael dived in and Usagi quickly pulled his gear off, hiding it in some bushes. He quickly swallowed some liquid from a blue container and dived into the water, enjoying the ability to breathe underwater. He smiled as he located Raphael power swimming through the water.

His paws reached out as they gliding along Raphael's plastron, causing Raphael to stop in a panic.

He chuckled underwater, knowing that since it was dark, he would not be able to see him. He saw Raphael's head twist side to side, panicked and kicking as Usagi touched his legs, his paws gliding along his thighs, only to be kicked away.

Usagi smiled at the clear panic in Raphael's eyes as he swam back to the surface, careful not to rise up until Raphael was gone.

_That was fun...but...it was not the same..._Usagi thought as he watched Raphael grab his gear and run back to the farmhouse. _He is not_ _Michelangelo... but rest assured my love... I will be coming..._ he thought with a grin, returning to his clothes.

* * *

Raph's POV

Raph ran to the farmhouse, his face panicked and freaked out. He ran inside, the door slamming shut and locked behind him.

"Raph, what's wrong?" Donnie said concerned, jumping up from his chair at the kitchen table.

"I...I'm ain't sure...s...something grabbed me...in da water..." Raph said, not wanting to admit it felt like paws groped him as he slid to the floor, shaking still.

"Was it a fish? Jellyfish are rare but might be in the lake...or snakes...were you bit?" Donnie said his voice high on concern as he knelt down beside him.

"I don't know...i...it felt...it felt like...hands...well...paws...and I freaked out. There was nuthin' in da water...but I swear...there was something!" Raph explained.

"Where did it touch you?" Donnie asked, now worried.

"On muh legs...and plastron...here..." Raph admitted, touching his lower plastron with his right hand and his left showing on his legs where the paws touched.

"You sure you felt something Raph? Could it have been seaweed or something like that?" Donnie asked concerned, helping Raph to his feet.

"I'm sure...but I could be wrong...that...tha' vision Mikey sent me...could've messed me up..." Raph admitted, his heart race calming.

"How about you take a warm shower then get some sleep, okay Raph?" Donnie ordered, "Doctor's orders. I don't need a grouchy Raph in the morning."

Raph smiled weakly but nodded his head, still a little shaken as he left the room.

* * *

Leo's POV

Leo entered the livingroom as Raph disappeared upstairs, "Donnie...do you find it a little strange that Raph would go through that?"

Donnie shrugged, "I don't know. Raph's mind may have made it up because of Mikey's manipulation."

"I don't know. Something doesn't feel right here. I think we need to talk to the Daimyo again..." Leo said with a nervous bite to his lower lip as he paced, "There are just too many questions without any real answers."

Donnie sighed, "Yeah, I agree. When Mikey was telling us about Usagi attacking him...I prayed it wasn't true...but maybe he is right..." he said worriedly, "but if he is, that means Usagi is out there messing with us."

Leo nodded, "I know what you mean. I haven't felt Usagi's spirit so I can't say if he is here or not. I just know that something is going on and we need to find out if there is a possibility...the Daimyo can be wrong...I think..." he said uncertainly, "I wish Splinter was here...then maybe we can figure out what the heck is happening..."

Donnie got back to his feet, walking back to the kitchen. He picked up his coffee cup and slowly dumped it down the drain, "Look, how about you head out with April and Casey and make sure Leatherhead set the place up with electricity and furniture...I'll stay here just in case. Talk to the Daimyo again...get some proof."

Leo nodded, "Tomorrow...tomorrow I'll head out...but I'll work on some lesson plans for Mikey tonight to see him through. I might be gone a week. I plan to head to the prison first and get physical proof."

Donnie nodded, "Good. I hope the story is true that Usagi was ripped into piecce! I'm heading to bed, night bro."

"Night Donnie," Leo said, heading up to his room. He could hear Raph still in the shower and sighed.

_There's more going on...these just can't be coincidences...I swear...that almost smelled of Usagi's taint..._


	34. News, Spiders and Leo Leavingoh my

Chapter 34

Mikey's POV

Mikey woke up to a feeling of distress and uneasiness and it bothered him. It was too similar to how he felt all the time and he got to his feet. He needed to find out what happened.

_It's not Leo...that's not him..._ he thought as he wandered towards the source of it, feeling an underlining of humiliation and he was confused.

_That's Raphie..._ he thought, his eyes wide with shock as he approached Raph's closed door.

"Raph...are you okay?" he called out, worried.

"I'm fine...just a headache..." Raph said gruffly from inside the door. Mikey's concern grew as he could practically feel Raph uncertainly.

He wanted to say something, to help him, when Raph spoke again, "Jist leave me alone for a bit Mike," he said tiredly.

Mikey sighed, "Sure Raph," he said, slightly hurt but he understood. _Something happened...I wonder what..._

He walked downstairs, frowning as he saw Leo packing in his room, "Where are you going?" he asked worriedly, eyes wide and feeling anxious.

"I have to go back to the lair Mikey," Leo said calmly, glancing up, feeling bad at the clear anxiety he saw in his younger brother.

"Whhhy?" Mikey asked, "What's going on? Raph's...all weird...and you're feeling weird too..."

Leo sighed, stopping his packing before he waved Mikey to sit down. Mikey sat but fidgeted on the bed, glancing worriedly at Leo. "Mikey...what's happening is that I need to go back to the lair to arrange things..." he explained, "Splinter's... needs... a place to honor him and for us to meditate and remember him. I also need to arrange a dojo for us to practice in."

Mikey frowned, listening but he could hear something else in Leo's tone of voice. _Something serious was wrong_ "What's really going on?" Mikey asked in a stern voice, "there is something more here...isn't it?"

Leo bit his lip, hesitating on what he should say but Mikey stood up, looking angry, "If you're keeping another secret from me, then forget about it! You already screwed up the trust I'm supposed to have with you! You promised you wouldn't lie to me anymore! Don't screw it up again Leo," Mikey warned, "I'm getting sick of being lied to!"

"Mikey, it's not that I want to lie...it's that I want to protect you," Leo said with a sigh, seeing Donnie standing in a doorway, looking worried as well, "If I tell you, will you promise not to freak out?"

Mikey frowned, now seeing the actual worry and fear coming off his brothers and stepped back a little, "I'll try not to Leo...I really will."

"Okay...you remember how you said that you swear you saw Usagi before?" Leo asked.

"Yeah...I thought I saw him but he must have been my imagination or something...why?" Mikey said, unnerved by them constantly glancing at eachother, "but I swore he was there guys! I mean, how else did I get those injuries!"

Donnie spoke up, "Mikey...I know...something happened and we weren't ready to believe you...because it was only happening to you, and no one else felt anything," Donnie explained, "but Raph went for a swim earlier...after he talked with you... and he said something touched him...while he was swimming."

"What? Like a fish or something?" Mikey asked. He stood up, wanting to pace when Donnie waved him to sit down. He reluctantly did as he looked up at his brothers.

"No Mikey...he swears he felt hands touching him...on his lower plastron and his legs...and he's a little freaked by it..." Leo said with a deep breath, "this, combined with what you were telling me earlier about Usagi...makes be believe there may be something to what you were saying."

"Wait, you said Usagi died in prison!" Mikey said, his heart thudding rapidly.

"Which is why I plan to go to the Nexxus and confirm that he truly died," Leo explained, "he has used his magic before and created conflict with it. He may have faked his death. It's the only explanation I can see that he is here."

Mikey's eyes widened with fear and panic but he fought to control it. He was clearly struggling and when Donnie advanced to comfort him, he shook his head rapidly, arm up, "No, don't touch, gimme a sec..." Mikey panted out.

_Oh god, oh god...that was real...no...it can't be...please...Raph? That's why Raph feels so off...oh crap...he went after Raph...and Master Splinter...Frig... why... why the fuck is he after me... is that Leo talking to me?_ Mikey glanced up blankly, seeing his older brother kneeling worriedly near him, his mouth moving but Mikey couldn't quite hear the words.

_Why did I insist on hearing the truth? _Mikey thought as he struggled to breathe, slowly drawing in each tortured breath one at a time before he brought it back under his control.

"-ky, can you hear me?" he heard Leo's voice call out and he glanced up.

"Yeah, I can hear you...sorry..." he mumbled embarrassed but feeling proud of himself. _I did it. I beat the panic attack!_

"Listen Mikey, I want you to come with me but you clearly need some time to focus on healing. You're doing better lately," Leo said proudly.

Mikey managed a small smile, "I know Leo...I... I don't know if I'm ready to go back to a home without Sensei..." he admitted, "and I know I'm not ready to go back to the Nexxus...not after what happened."

"Alright, Donnie and Raph will be here with you. Talk with them, okay?" Leo asked.

Mikey nodded, his hand darting out, encircling Leo's which was on the bed, "Do you sense U...Usagi nearby?"

Leo frowned but was elated that Mikey even touched him willingly. He sighed, admitting, "No Mike...I haven't sensed Usagi. That's why it troubles me. The only ones I do sense...are the ones in the house. How about you?"

Mikey shook his head, "I...I could never sense...him...not unless he wanted me to. He said..." Mikey gulped, pushing back a memory, "he said that he wasn't going to allow me to taint his aura..." he admitted ashamed, "I don't...right? I don't taint yours...do I?"

Both Leo and Donnie spoke at the same time, "What? Of course not!" and then chuckled at the mirrored response, before Donnie spoke, "Mikey, you have never tainted our auras...if anything, you cleanse us. You make us feel good."

"But... I'm dirty...how can I cleanse you?" Mikey said, clearly not believing their words.

"You're not dirty Mikey," Leo said calmly but pointedly, "stop saying you are!"

"But I am dirty. Tainted...spoiled..." Mikey repeated, "You can't say that I'm not. I'm not like you. I'm not unspoiled. I'm used goods," Mikey said bitterly, glancing down at the ground before he stood up. "No matter how many times you say I'm not, it's not going to change how I feel. You can't wash away his hands nor can you wash away the poison he made me taste, touch, smell and feel."

Leo and Donnie were shocked at the vehemently spoken words, seeing in Mikey's eyes that he truly believed it all. They were both going to disagree with Mikey's words when he heard Raph yelling from upstairs.

All three turned at once, running up the stairs.

They pounded into Raph's room, stopping in shock when they saw Raph on the desk and his Sai's out, "Raph, what's wrong?"

"T...there...there wuz a bunch of tiny spiders comin' outta tha' ball over dere," Raph said pointing towards his bed.

Donnie moved towards the bed, seeing a small ball of cotton on the back of the post of the headboard and smiled as he saw baby spiders crawling out.

Realizing Raph woke up to hundreds of spiders crawling on him, he sighed, "Raph, maybe you should bunk with Mikey. Leo's room is right below...and he already said he found spiders in his..."

"Ya, I know dat genius, the friggin things were on me! I need a shower...are there any on me?" Raph asked worriedly, brushing his arms off.

Leo smiled, "I don't see any but hurry for a shower. I think I heard Casey might take one soon and you know he uses that cologne stuff."

"I'm gone!" Raph said, rushing from the room before turning, his eyes towards Mikey, "Hey Mike, can I bunk wit you?"

"Um, sure Raph...if you want to..." he said surprised.

Mikey watched as his brother smiled before leaving, yelling at Casey in the progress before a door slammed.

"Donnie..." Mikey asked, his heart still thudded a little faster from his run up the stairs to Raph's room, "do you believe Usagi is here?"

Donnie turned, looking at Mikey, "No...I honestly believed the Daimyo when he told us that Usagi was dead. Even the Daimyo believed it and it's hard to fool him. Leo wants to make sure, actually see the body to confirm it. I think Bishop or someone else is messing around...but I think it's because I badly want it to be true Usagi is dead."

"So you don't believe me?" Mikey said sadly.

"I believe you went through something and that you were injured and Raph was, but that it was Usagi...I really...really hope I'm right that he wasn't here...he's caused enough trouble to our family," Donnie admitted.

Suddenly Mikey understood, _He wants Usagi dead...he wants it to all be done...over... that it was all done..._ "I get it Donnie, I understand," he said with a sigh. _I wish I can think that way..._

Donnie's eyes shot up, looking disbelieving, "You do?"

"You want the nightmare to finally be over..." Mikey said with a sad smile, "So do I..." and he turned and left the room.

* * *

The next day:

Mikey was sitting at the table, getting frustrated as the paper kept moving on him as he tried to write in the book.

Donnie watched sadly as his little brother struggled, trying to think of a way for him to help. _Wait a minute...maybe I can..._

He quickly made his way to his room, pulling open his closet full of items he had brought with him on his last trip, "Let's see...I know I got it here...somewhere..."

He pulled out another box, hearing Raph and Mikey yelling at eachother and sighed. _ I need to figure out a way that will help Mikey keep items on the tables for him..._ he thought, when a long skinny plastic ruler fell out.

Donnie picked it up, his mind racing with ideas before he smiled. _I know exactly what to do..._

It took him several minutes to figure out the process to make the sticky bottom and cure it enough so it would be hardened but still slightly sticky, before he attached it to the bottom of the ruler.

After he attached it, he walked to his desk, touching the wooden surface and brushing off some dust. He then pressed the ruler firmly into the desk and let go. Grabbing a text book, he quickly moved it over to the ruler, pushing against it and smiled as he saw the ruler didn't budge.

_This should work. _Donnie grinned, lifting the ruler up by simply gripping it and twisting it at an angle, allowing the grip to loosen and release.

He hurried downstairs, seeing Mikey growing frustrated as Raph held the book while he wrote, his face burning with embaressment.

"It's okay bro, we'll figure out something..." Raph said sighing.

"No Raph...it's not the same. You're...like right here while I'm writing and it...feels weird..." he admitted, putting the pencil down with a sigh, leaning back in his chair.

"Hey guys, guess what I made?" Donnie said smiling as he walked in.

Mikey smiled gratefully at the interruption, "What? Please, tell me!" he said, chuckling, "I need a break..."

Donnie smiled, "Well, I don't know what to call it yet...maybe Stop Ruler...anyway..." he said, placing it on the table, "you put this where you want to write," he pushed it down a littler firmer, "press down and let go!"

"Um...was it supposed to do something?" Mikey asked, not impressed.

"Yes, sorry, put your journal against it and try to move the ruler!" Donnie said excited.

Mikey obeyed, grabbing his journal before he tried shoving it against the ruler, eyes widening in shock as it stopped in place, "Hey, cool!" and tried pushing it off.

"Cool Donnie, ya made tha' so he could write wit no help, eh?" Raph said proudly.

"Yeah, I saw how frustrated you were getting Mikey...I thought this would help. To lift it up, you have to twist it and it lets go," Donnie explained with a smile, glad he was able to do something for his little brother.

Mikey smile grew on his face and before Donnie knew it, Mikey was hugging him. _Wow...he...he's actually hugging me..._ Donnie thought, hugging him back, ensuring his arms were loose just in case but he was beaming and basking in that hug.


	35. Usagi Attacks

**A/N: I want to thank OrangeBarmy for helping me with this chapter, most of it is from her with some of my work. I hope you enjoy and send me a review! Thanks**

* * *

Chapter 35

Three days later:

Mikey's POV

Mikey closed his journal and leant his head back against the tree. He felt so much better now that he had a pen and paper to express his thoughts into. He didn't feel quite so burdened by his emotions and it was Raph he had to thank for it.

"I see you are no longer as beautiful as when I left you," a voice sounded to the left of him.

Mikey froze, that voice was all too familiar. He opened his eyes and turned his head, his heart suddenly racing.

Usagi stood proudly hands on hips, eyeing Mikey as lustfully as he always had. The panic bubbled in the young turtle and scrambling to his feet he fled. With his missing arm and his own panic Mikey stumbled regularly in his need to escape.

Even when Usagi's body crashed into his forcing him to the ground he continued to fight trying to escape. The hard white fur colour paw reached over his shell and nipped hard at his shoulder.

Mikey felt his body start to weaken and stop responding to his instructions. Memories he had recalled when he didn't obey Usagi came to mind, remembering the pain and hurt and struggled not to obey the forced reactions from his body.

His heart raced and his panic went full blown as Usagi rolled his weak body onto his shell and stood over him. Mikey wanted to run, he wanted to scream but his body was now frozen and he was at the mercy of his abuser.

In his mind Mikey screamed.

* * *

Raph's POV

Raph smiled as he spared with Donnie, he knew it had been a good idea to buy Mikey that new journal. Even as he thought his younger brother was off in the woods writing down his thoughts and that made Raph happy.

Donnie smiled in response recognising the lighter mood that Raph was in today. Stepping forward Raph spun his Sai and got ready to attack Donnie.

The genius eyes were ever watchful, seeing the ripple or tenseness in his brothers' muscles that signalled his intent to move. Raph suddenly gasped, his Sai falling out of nerveless hands, his breathing coming in thick hard pants. _What da fuck..._

"Raph?" Donnie said, immediately concerned, hovering beside Raph, his Bo on the ground as he had run over, placing a hand on Raph's shell in concern.

As he touched Raph's shell, he gasped in shock, feeling pure unadulterated panic that was suddenly coursing through them. Fear was quickly following and a huge sense of helplessness.

Donnie's eyes widened, looking up at Raph as he collapsed to his knees, falling forward onto his hands which gripped into the ground.

As quickly as the feelings were there, they were gone. The brothers looked up at each other and Donnie could see that Raph had felt something else too.

"Raph?" he asked hoarsely. _Something had happened but he wasn't sure what._ _What was that? Was that Raph feeling that?_

"Usagi has Mikey," his hot headed sibling's voice was low and menacing. "I'm gonna kill tha' bunny Donnie."

Donnie sat up, not arguing with him as he too felt the familiar hatred bubbling up in his own soul. He had talked about Mikey, answering Usagi's questions, talking easily with the bunny.

Donnie hadn't even realize he was manipulated or that he divulged such private information but now he felt that all too familiar guilt and shame build. He was furious that Usagi was still alive. _Aghh...I really really hoped he was dead..._

"Where?" he asked simply, his eyes flashing in anger as he picked up his Bo staff. _He dies...today...one way or another...he dies for hurting Mikey..._

_They had accepted that Raph and Mikey had a special connection and that as egg mates it bordered on telepathic. _

Raph picked up his Sai and pointed into the woods, "This way," he set off at a run with Donnie following closely.

* * *

Mikey's POV

Mikey hadn't been able to resist as Usagi had dragged him deeper into the forest before stopping between two trees. Dropping the bag he carried the rabbit had pulled out several sections of long rope. Blue eyes had watched in horror as Usagi painstakingly tied one of his ankles passing the rope around the trunk of one of the trees before tying his second ankle.

The angle and width of the tree trunk left Mikey in a forced spread. He had tried moving and freeing himself but his muscles still didn't respond to his commands.

Usagi took the next piece of rope and after tying Mikey's wrist he passed it around the second tree before looping the rope around Mikey's neck. The panic increased immeasurably as the young turtle felt the rope tighten around his neck.

_If he tried to free his arm he would strangle himself._

_Guys, Raph...Leo...Donnie...where are you...help me...god...help me..._

With his victim adequately restrain Usagi took a few moments to assess the young turtle. He was not as beautiful as he once was. He was thinner and paler and of course there was the issue of his missing arm but this did not bother Usagi.

He looked at Michelangelo and he felt the hunger he always felt when looking at that young body. He had been denied this flesh and now it was time for his young victim to make it up to him.

Mikey watched with wide panicked eyes as Usagi looked him over. _Not that Mikey wanted him to; he wanted him gone, away, out of his life for good; for him to be unable to hurt his family any more._

His heart seemed ready to beat its way out of his shell as the wild rabbit stalked toward him. Usagi straddled Mikey's chest and slowly knelt until he was sitting upon his victim.

Mikey clenched his jaw gnashing his teeth in an effort not to scream and beg. _He couldn't give in, he couldn't beg this time..._

"I told you Michelangelo when I released my seed deep inside of you the very first time that I became a part of you and you became mine. There is no escape from me, this body belongs to me," Usagi explained, his eyes blazing with anger and lust.

Mikey's whole body shuddered and struggled as Usagi started running his hands over his body. With each movement the ropes holding his legs, arm and neck tightened. _NO, NO, stop! You can't!_ Mikey thought, panicked and gurgling as the rope tightened painfully around his neck.

Usagi shuffled down his body until he was resting between the spread sea green legs. Mikey's mouth opened in a silent scream and even Usagi grunted as he felt the fear and panic wash over him.

Usagi moved up, slamming a paw hard across his face, furious, "If you continue this I will take you raw," Usagi warned. "You remember how that feels don't you Michelangelo, the friction between our bodies as I took you unprepared?"

The small whimper that broke free from his bound victim pleased Usagi; he had thought that perhaps he wouldn't get a verbal response from the young turtle.

"Ahhh, that is what I wanted to hear..." Usagi purred, his paws running up and down Michelangelo's legs, feeling the tenseness of his legs. He chuckled, slowly moving up in between Michelangelo's legs, grinning as his victim's mouth opened as he tried to scream, the rope tightened rapidly around him.

"MIKEY!" a voice shouted to the side.

The sea green mutant turned his head in response to his brother's voice and this made Usagi smile. He had seen the hope in Michelangelo's eyes and grinned evilly, "You think your brothers will save you Michelangelo?" he teased.

Mikey couldn't look at him his eyes searching widely the trees for his rescuers. His eyes were wide, back arched as he tried looking seeing through the trees.

"They won't find you, I have cast my spells," Usagi assured, now grinning as he leaned over Michelangelo's body.

"They'll find me!" Mikey managed to gasp through the rope around his throat, his voice raspy.

Usagi's smile widened almost impossibly at his victims response. He pondered over his next move carefully. He moved until he was lying on top of Mikey, his groin resting in between the bound turtles spread legs.

He rubbed teasingly as his fingers traced over the top of Mikey's plastron his head so close to Mikey's where he could lick and nip at the sensitive skin of the neck and throat.

"Perhaps I have been rash in my decision," Usagi mused. "You are a beautiful specimen Michelangelo and as Battle Nexus Champion you immediately became mine but your brothers I haven't really considered, perhaps I have been too hasty."

Mikey's eyes closed as he felt the wet mouth bite down on his neck, his breathing coming in small gasps, his whole body trembling in fear.

"Perhaps I should take Leonardo, he is your leader after all," Usagi's eyes watched Mikey's reaction carefully.

Mikey kept his eyes closed refusing to react to Usagi's words. _No...this won't...this won't work..._

"Or Donatello always so curious, I could teach him a lot."

Mikey tried to focus on his breathing and resisting struggling as the rope was already pulled tightly against his skin. _Not him...never him...not Donnie_

"Or maybe Raphael, I would enjoy breaking his will."

Mikey couldn't stop the small hitch in his breathing at the mention of taking Raphael. _NO! Not Raph! Don't you dare!_

This was enough of a response for Usagi to smile at, knowing now which brother he could use against Mikey.

"Ahh so Raphael, big strong Raphael. Imagine him Michelangelo bound like you, those strong legs open and revealing. Imagine that deep voice bellowing, grunting and groaning as I take him, spreading wide those tight muscles…." Usagi's voice was soft and quiet.

Mikey shouted his frustration, his body twitching lightly as he fought the hold on his body. _NO! No, he can't! He better not...Stop! I don't want to hear it! _He would never allow Usagi to hurt his brothers especially not Raphael. _Why... why is he saying this? Please...not Raphie... please... I'll do anything..._

"You wouldn't like that Michelangelo?" the rabbit asked innocently. _NO! NO!_

"Take me," Mikey finally managed to rasp out, his entire body tensing. _I...I don't think I can take it if he went after them..._

"Say that again and remember your manners," Usagi instructed, a cruel smile growing on his face.

"Please take me instead," the tears started weeping out from under closed lids, his whole body relaxing in defeat. _Take me..._

Usagi smiled hungrily down at the bound turtle_. He hadn't expected that he would get such a reaction from Michelangelo by threatening his brother. But ever the warrior he would use all methods to attain victory. _

The white covered paw slipped down Mikey's groin and in between the spread sea green legs going unerringly for the hidden entrance. Mikey couldn't hold back his cries anymore as he felt that all too familiar touch.

Usagi watched his victim carefully wishing to elicit the best reaction of fear. Pushing aside the tail that was clamped tightly against the scarred muscled opening Mikey's body started fighting back.

The rope was becoming impossibly tight around his extremities and neck and the lack of oxygen was making his vision swim. He felt something fumbling around his neck and the pressure eased slightly allowing him to take a deep breath.

"I want you to feel it all Michelangelo, I want you to remember and know that you belong to me," the accented voice whispered in his ear.

Mikey kept his eyes squeezed shut trying to focus on anything but the fingers that were starting to push into his body.

A broken sob escaped from his raw throat as he realised this was going to happen. _He was going to be taken again, his brothers weren't going to rescue him; it was just like before. They had broken their promises; they hadn't protected him._

Usagi felt the defeat wash over him as a broken Mikey could not control his emotions any longer. This made the rabbit smile as he felt the tensed body stop resisting him. He knew now how to really make the turtle resist but right now he wanted this body.

He had been denied this flesh for months, enduring his own abuse at the hands of his fellow inmates. It was the same across the universe; those who took children were less than scum. Usagi felt the familiar rush of pleasure and lust growing in his own growing arousal as he knelt down.

Usagi felt the muscles relenting under the constant pressure, eliciting a cry of pain from Michelangelo's body as he prepared to take him himself. One more push and he would violate the turtle once more as he moved to replace his fingers with himself.

"I want you to beg me Michelangelo...come...beg me...or I shall just go to Raphael...he was...sooo nice...his legs...are strong..." Usagi purred into Mikey's terrified eyes.

"H...how...y...you...k..know...t..that?" Mikey gasped out, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to ignore the burning familiar pain he tried so hard to forget.

"I was the one who touched him Michelangelo...and he was eager..." Usagi said, eyes glinting above him, "and if you don't want Raphael to be defiled as you...you will beg me! NOW!" he screamed in anger, eyes blazing as he watched Michelangelo.

Mikey's heart raced with confusion and pain, shaking his head as he tried to deny his words but his strength faded.

He sobbed out, "P...please...t..take me...I...I'm...y..yours...I...I b..belong..t...to you..." he sobbed as Usagi's fingers left his body, moving in place of them. He tensed in preparation, waiting, eyes closed tightly in fear and apprehension.

Suddenly, Mikey grunted as something slammed into him, but it wasn't Usagi.

The roar of anger to his side had him opening his eyes, glancing around through blurred vision.

"You are dead bunny boy!" a voice growled. _Raph...t..that's..R...Raph...h..he came..._

"Mikey?" Donnie's voice was filled with concern as he knelt by his bound brother.

"D-Donnie?" Mikey managed to croak. _You came..._

Grunts of pain were coming from Mikey's left but Donnie kept his brothers attention turned on him.

"I'm going to untie you okay? Don't move!" Donnie instructed calmly, trying to slow his racing heart.

A flash of light appeared and suddenly Leo's roar of anger was heard, followed by many other voices, a huge battle ensued.

Mikey managed a small nod trying to block out the sounds of fists pummelling flesh and whimpers of pain that filled the air. The sounds of Usagi's voice yelling out at Raphael and Leonardo. _They came...they came.._

"Raph?" Mikey's voice was hoarse and barely more than a whisper, trying to focus as his whole body trembled from shock and his reaction.

Donnie's eyes moved up from where he had focused on the knots binding Mikey. Raphael and Leonardo were standing over the battered body of Usagi, their anger and hatred pouring off them in waves of emotion. Another rabbit in combat gear stood there as well, a sword to Usagi's throat.

"Raph!" Donnie's voice was louder than Mikey's, getting his attention as he worked on the rope.

The golden eyes moved from the unconscious rabbit to meet Donnie's. The intelligent turtle nodded his head to his bound brother. Raph nodded and left Leo to keep an eye on Usagi knowing that even in his anger Leo was less likely to kill the rabbit than Raph was.

Kneeling down beside Mikey he blocked the view to Usagi allowing the youngest turtle to turn and look at Raph.

"Don't kill him," Mikey managed to croak, his body pale and shaking still.

Raph frowned down at Mikey, "What?" his eyes wide and in shock. _How could he not want him dead?_

"Don't kill him," Mikey repeated wincing in pain as the rope was freed from his neck and wrist, shivering as it brushed past bruised skin.

"Why?" Raph asked taking the freed wrist and starting to massage the circulation back into it, his eyes blazing with concern.

"You're b...b...better than h..h...him," Mikey rasped out.

Raph felt the words choke in his throat as Mikey watched him with intense blue eyes.

"I didn't," he finally managed to croak.

A small smile spread briefly across Mikey's face but it crumpled in pain; Donnie had finally freed the rope from around his ankles. The legs immediately snapped closed before curling up into the fetal position turning on his side toward Raphael.

Emerald green fingers gently kept massaging the tender flesh of his brother's wrist. Donnie's expert fingers moved across Mikey's bleeding ankles but the young turtle whimpered and pulled away from the touch. Raph met Donnie's eyes and the genius turtle shrugged.

"Mikey can Donnie check your ankles?" Raph asked gently.

"Okay," Mikey whispered, glancing up at Raph for assurances.

This time, Mikey didn't make a sound as Donnie inspected the torn skin, whimpering quietly.

Donnie sighed, knowing that there was nothing he could do right this second. It would have to wait until he had his brother back in the farm house.

"RAPH?" Casey's voice sounded in the woods.

"Over here Casey."

Mikey tensed up as they heard the rustling in the trees, whimpering slightly. He kept his shell to the new comers instead shuffling a little closer to Raph.

Emerald green fingers released the grasp on the sea green wrist and moved a protective hand to his brother's shell. Mikey could feel Raph's blazing emotions and the protectiveness that oozed from him, feeling comforted.

"Oh God Mikey!" April's voice drifted over.

"Is he alive?" a strange yet familiar voice asked.

"Mikey or tha' bastard?" Raph's voice was harsh.

"Michelangelo of course."

"Yes he is alive but he has been tortured."

Admiral Jeyto started to walk towards Michelangelo but the warning look from Raphael told him it was not a wise move. He understood the reasoning behind it though. While Mikey had met him and knew he meant no harm, he was still a white rabbit and that vision could cause extreme distress to an already fragile mind.

"And him?" Admiral Jeyto nodded toward Usagi under Leo's watchful gaze. Mikey started trembling as soon as he heard Admiral Jeyto's voices, closing his eyes as he shook.

"If I had my way he wouldn't be alive right now but my brother is a better person than all of us," Raph replied harshly.

"He will be dealt with I assure you," Jeyto responded in kind, his voice furious, "I did not know he escaped but with Leonardo's help, we discovered his treachery at the prison."

Mikey's arms tightened around Raph as Jeyto's voice sounded closer, whimpering as Raph spoke up, "Not ta call your word into doubt but given that he's already escaped once I don't really have too much faith in you," Raph argued.

"Raph, now isn't the time to argue, I must get Mikey back to the farm house and treat his injuries," Donnie interrupted, waving his hands at Mikey's torn wrist and ankles as well as the torn entrance.

"I assure you Raphael-san that he will not escape a second time. This time he has sealed his fate." Jeyto said furiously, his own eyes wet, "I promise you...I will be the one who will ensure his death."

Raph snorted his reply and knelt close to Mikey to whisper to him but Mikey interrupted, "Raph...h...he feels...bad..." Mikey rasped out, "J..Jeyto.. f... feels... g..guilty...l...like...he..f..feels responsible...a...ask...him..."

"I will Mike...okay...I promise..." Raph assured, "but right now, I'm gonna help you up, 'kay?" he said quietly.

"I don't want to see him," Mikey whispered back, clutching Raph's arm in fear.

"Just keep looking at me and ya won't."

Raph kept himself planted between his brother and his abuser slowly helping the injured turtle to his feet. With Donnie bringing up the rear to make sure Mikey didn't fall the three turtles headed back to the farm.

As Raph eased Mikey down onto the sofa leaving Donnie to grab all his necessary items the red banded turtle watched his broken brother carefully.

Mikey was lying back against the sofa his eyes shut, his breathing still slightly laboured. The rope burns around his extremities and around his neck stood out harshly against the pale sea green skin that still trembled.

"You came for me?" Mikey finally said his voice hoarse and raspy, but almost in disbelief.

"Of course we did Mikey. We promised to protect you and we ain't gonna break that promise in a hurry," Raph explained sitting down next to him.

"How...how...did you find me? U..Usagi s...said he used his magic."

"He had but I could feel you Mikey. You were sendin' out so much emotion, I could have found you in a blizzard. I think it must be something that the healers did when we were at the Nexus because I could see you."

"What do you mean?" Mikey cracked open a blue eye as Donnie came in with what he needed.

"He means Mikey that Leo and I couldn't see you, we would have run right past you but Raph could. He's the one who broke the spell so that Leo and I could see by taking out Usagi," Donnie explained kneeling down to look at Mikey's injuries. "May I?"

Mikey nodded slowly trying not to flinch at Donnie's touch but it was hard.

"Like I said I think the healers must have done something 'cause I could see and feel ya despite Usagi's spells. Maybe it wuz cause they cleared all those blocks tha' da tribunal put on us?" Raph mused.

"It is a possibility. Either way if it wasn't for Raph…." Donnie's voice trailed off.

Mikey grimaced as Donnie cleaned out his wounds, his breathing becoming harsher as they heard sounds outside. His panicked eyes flew to Raph's, gripping his hand tighter, "Raph!" he cried out in fear.

"It's just Leo, April and Casey. I think they have taken him away," Raph explained.

"You came for me Raph?" Mikey suddenly asked.

"Course I did Mikey, you are my brother and I won't let that bastard have you," Raph reassuringly squeezed Mikey's shoulder.

"You came..." he whispered, his body relaxing as his head pounded, "You promised..." and Mikey relaxed, "thanks..." before he closed his eyes, slumping on the couch.

"Donnie! Wha' happened?" Raph asked frantically, touching Mikey's face gently.

"I think he blacked out Raph..." Donnie said assuredly, "but he should be fine...and it's good that he passed out."

"Why?" Raph asked, glancing up at Donnie.

"Because now I can examine him better without him knowing," Donnie said, gesturing over Mikey's lower half.

"Raph, how about you bring Mikey up to his room while I talk with Jeyto. He is waiting outside for me," Leo said tiredly.

Raph nodded, picking Mikey up gently before bringing him upstairs.

Donnie turned to Leo, "What happened? How did you come back when you did? How did you know?"

Leo sighed, shaking his head, "It's a long story Donnie...and I promise to tell you but right now, you take care of Mikey," he said gesturing towards the stairs, "and I need to talk to Jeyto."


	36. Leo Argues

Chapter 36

Leo sighed as he walked toward Jeyto, his heart hardening at the sight of the beaten rabbit, still furious that he still lived.

"You know that he must die, correct?" Leo asked livid, "Not only has he desecrated Splinter's grave, he terrorized my brother as well as Raphael! He even succeeded in assaulting Michelangelo once again!"

Admiral Jeyto's ears were drooped as he looked up at Leonardo, "I promise Leonardo, he will die once I can confirm the new charges. I give you my honor if this is not fulfilled."

Usagi struggled in his binding, glaring angrily at Jeyto with untold hatred. Jeyto just shook his head, "No Usagi, I cannot save you this time. You...have dug your own grave."

"Why would you have saved him before?" Leo asked curiously, now worried that Jeyto might be sympathetic to Usagi.

"It is not the time to discuss this Leonardo," Jeyto said.

"Do I need to press new charges?" Leo asked calmly, eyes narrowing slightly as he saw Usagi chuckle.

"Yes, as Michelangelo's 'father', you will have to decide whether you want to press new charges on top of the previous and if you want a say in his punishment," Jeyto explained.

Leo nodded, glaring at his ex-friend, "Yes, I will press charges for assault, sexual assault and attempted murder..." and saw Usagi struggle in his bindings for a moment, "and I want him executed!"

Leo felt a smile growing on his face as he saw Usagi's eyes widened. _Bet you thought I wouldn't forget that! I believe you need Death..._

"Very well then, I will be sending my team to gather evidence and will need to interview Michelangelo later today," Jeyto said quickly, his voice wavering slightly.

"No," Leo said simply and calmly, looking at Jeyto in the eyes, his brown ones just filled with anger. .

"Excuse me?" Jeyto said shocked, his eyes widened in shock at both the look and the pain in Leonardo's face.

"Michelangelo will not be able to see you to give you a statement today or another day. Usagi has tormented him enough and I refuse to allow you to continue this! If you do not kill him today, I will do it for you, damn the consequences!" Leo said angrily, drawing his katana and advancing.

Jeyto jumped in front of Leo, placing his hand on Leonardo's plastron, pushing him away, "No Leonardo, you cannot! This is not how it will be!"

Leonardo was furious, his whole body filled with anger and hatred, "Will he die within the hour?"

"No. Unfortunately I cannot justify his death by my hand until I get that report," Jeyto said sadly, "then I will execute him."

"That is not good enough. For my brother's sanity and safety, I am telling you to move aside and allow his death by my hand!" Leo said coldly.

"NO! You cannot kill him! If you do, you will send armies here to kill you all!" Jeyto said urgently, "the politics are extreme and harsh. His death by people of this Earth will cause an up-rise on my planet. They will want to kill all those on your planet for killing a well known and decorated warrior," Jeyto explained.

Leo glared at Usagi, seeing his smirking face as he looked up at him. "I want to speak to him."

"I do not think that is a good idea right now Leonardo," Jeyto said firmly, "you will not be able to see him until after I get that report. I will even allow you to view his execution!"

"You will let me watch?" Leo asked slowly, his hatred burning deep in his heart.

"Yes," Jeyto said firmly, "this I will allow."

Leo's sword moved back, slowly being put in its sheath as he took a deep breath. "Very well," he said, "but I demand that not only me, I want my brother Raphael!"

"You have it," Jeyto promised.

"What more do you need?" Leo asked.

"I need your permission to press new charges as well as speak to your brother. The more information I can retrieve, the faster I can push his execution. I also need a medical report but unfortunately your brother will not be able to provide this," Jeyto said.

"What do you mean?" Leo asked confused, "Donnie examined him the first time..."

"No, actually it was a Healer Ariiliya who examined your brother and it was her testimony that allowed the charges to stick the first time. I will be calling her here within the next day or so," Jeyto explained.

"Fine, she can examine Mikey, is there anything else I need to know?" Leo asked angrily, his fists still clenched as he stared at Usagi, eyes blazing with hatred.

"Yes...due to my circumstances, it will not only be me who will question Michelangelo...because of Usagi's escape of the prison..." Jeyto hesitated before he finally said, "There will be more than one interviewer."

"How many?" Leo asked, his heart sinking at the terror of Mikey having to deal with more than one rabbit.

"Four of our planet's workers; myself and three others. Two are Usagi's defense...two are mine...and you as the parent will be required to be there this time...and Michelangelo," Jeyto said regretfully.

"Why is there a change in the rules? Master Splinter wasn't present when Mikey spoke with you last time..." Leo said warily, unsure on what the change was.

"Before..your father allowed Michelangelo to make the choice of his sentence. Now you are demanding Death as a sentence. This makes it harder for us and the circumstances change," Jeyto explained, "He also escaped prison so these new charges are filed, as well as Makai's death. All of this must be dealt with..."

Leo's voice was curt and filled with unbridled anger, "So my brother's case is not important enough for him to get his justice!? He would have to wait upon excuses your planet is taking!? If you will not act, I will kill him now!" Leo said, reaching for his Katanas.

Jeyto spoke quickly, "If you kill Usagi, I will be then forced to take you from your family until your own trial."

Leonardo froze, his katana half out of it's sheath before he slid it back in, his mouth in a grim line, "Get Usagi away from here now or he will be killed!" Leo said scathingly, glaring at the snickering rabbit.

"He is gone," Jeyto said, nodding his head and watching carefully as Leonardo stormed away, breathing a sigh of relief before he turned around.

Advancing on Usagi, he yanked off the gag, angrily stating, "What would your children think of the way you have been acting?"

"My children are dead and gone!" Usagi said angrily, spitting in Jeyto's face, "Never mention them to me again!" he said, his eyes blazing with sheer anger and rage.

"That does not excuse your behaviour! Why would you terrorize this young man?" Jeyto demanded to know, "Tell me why you are destroying his soul?"

Usagi smirked, his eyes lighting up with a grin, "He belongs to me, body and soul. He actually stated that he was mine. He told me to take him. That he belonged to me. You know the rules of our world."

Jeyto's eyes widened, "He did not! You are telling lies!"

"I am not. I have told you the truth. He belongs to me now...and you have to release me!" Usagi said with a smirk. "Once I tell the Council his words, then they too, shall agree. You know this."

"I will find out the truth Usagi...if you are speaking lies," Jeyto threatened, knowing this would open a whole new set of problems, "but in the meantime, you will be sent back."

Usagi's eyes flared at him, spitting once more in the face, "I will get away again."

Jeyto felt his own anger growing and he wanted to lash out but he was honor-bound to bring him back. _I wish Leonardo had indeed killed him..._


	37. Recovering

Chapter 37

Raphael sighed as Donatello grabbed his kit, having finished examining his younger brother.

"Ya okay Donnie?" Raph asked quietly.

"He has a few tears...but he should heal quickly," Donnie said quietly, his hands trembling slightly.

"It's gonna be okay Donnie...he's gonna heal from this," Raph assured, placing a hand on Donnie's shoulder.

"Is it ever going to end?" Donnie asked bleakly.

"I don't know...Mikey's been through a lot...but he's strong..." Raph said with a smile, "he's strong Donnie...it's gonna be okay...one day..."

Donnie nodded, his lip trembling as he tried to stop himself from crying but Raph grabbed him, "Let go bro...let go..." Raph whispered into Donnie's ear, embracing him tightly.

Donnie started to cry, loud sobs leaving his throat as he expressed his sorrow as Raph comforted him.

The door opened and Leo stood there, looking haggard and lost. Raph knew he was under a large amount of stress and now that he was head of the Clan, had to deal with laying new charges.

Donnie calmed down, lying in Raph's arms as he glanced over, still shaken by all that happened.

"Hey Leo...did it all go a'ight?" Raph asked gently, waving him to a nearby seat.

"Jeyto needs Mikey's and your guy's testimony. The faster we get all the information into the Council, the faster Usagi will be given death," Leo said tiredly, yawning as he sat back against the wall.

"Well, I'll go give him my two cents," Raph rumbled angrily, "how did he escape?"

Leo glanced at Mikey worriedly first, a long silence filled the room. Suddenly, Donnie spoke, "Mikey will be fine. He's bruised and has cuts and rope burns...he also has two smaller tears...down there...but only minor discomfort and slight pain for the next few days."

"Mikey has to be examined by Healer Ariiliya..." Leo stated with a sigh, rubbing his forehead, "you don't count...apparently because you're family..."

Donnie knew that but he wondered why it was such a big deal, "Mikey's been examined by Healer Ariiliya before Leo...what is the problem?"

Leo's eyes filled with tears as he sat there, just shaking his head. He was tired of being the strong one. _Why did Master Splinter have to die? I need him... Father...how do I help them?_ Leo wondered as he glanced up at his brothers, seeing their concern for him in their eyes.

"Mikey has to be interviewed within the next two days by not one but four...of Usagi's kind in order for Usagi's sentence to be death." Leo said shakily.

"Four!?" Donnie gasped out, "I...I don't know of Mikey can handle four so soon after the attack...geez...Jeyto talked with Mikey about 3 months from the attack to allow his body to heal...why right away...why so soon?" he asked.

"It is because we had asked for Usagi to be executed...the charges are serious and must be taken into consideration," Leo replied, shaking his head in disgust, "and if we did it soon, then Usagi may be executed as soon as it is done. If we don't do it this way...then Michelangelo will have to wait for Usagi to be tried and convicted on his other crimes."

"You can add his crimes to Mikey's file...get it all done at once...or wait until they finish this one, then await the outcome of the next...before any punishment is doled out..." Donnie said understanding.

"That's bullshit!" Raph said angrily, "Now ya sayin' that not only does Mikey gotta tell four friggin' rabbits the horror he experienced...that if he opted for not killin' da bunny, we'd gotta wait till the case for killin' da other kid, is done for ours ta be followed through?"

"Yep...that's it in a nutshell..." Leo said, dropping his head in between his knees that he had pulled to his chest, "I'm tired..."

Raph frowned at Leo's tone of voice; he could hear how depressed and stressed he was getting. "But why do we gotta wait? Mikey's case should be first, shouldn't it?"

Leo looked up, shaking his head, "Crimes that are done on their own planet supersede any others. They wanted to hold off ours, convict Usagi and then go and do ours but that would take longer."

"Why do they only talk to you Leo?" Donnie asked curiously, "I mean, we're Mikey's brothers too...shouldn't we be in the decision making?"

Leo smiled thinly, "Because I am the eldest, I became the 'father' of all of you...so it's up to me to press charges and hear the entire story."

Their eyes widened at the thought of Leo being their 'Father' in these cases.

Then their eyes darkened slightly as they realized what Leo was going through. "You heard details..." Donnie whispered.

"Yes...of course I did...I learned everything that Usagi had done to Mikey...the torment that he described to Jeyto... I know all his injuries that were done... and I know about the outcomes of many of them...how he started...how he hurt him...what words...he said..." Leo said in a choked voice, closing his eyes in pain.

Raph and Donnie reacted at the same time, placing a comforting hand on each side of Leo's shoulders, pulling him forward, holding him as he started to cry. Leo's cries were filled with pain and sorrow; his pain echoing in the room as it seem to grow.

A hand snaked out from the bed they were near, clasping Leo's hand tightly, wet blue eyes staring up at them. Leo choked out a sob, his hand reaching out, touching Mikey's face, cupping it gently, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Mikey didn't say anything at first. He was shaking Leo's hand, trying to get his attention. It wasn't until Donnie noticed his attempt to get Leo to listen, and spoke up, "Leo...listen to Mikey...please!"

Leo glanced up, his face wet with tears, eyes filled with remorse, "I'm so sorry..." he whispered.

"N...not your fault..." Mikey stuttered out, blinking awake, "Y...you all saved me..." before he yawned, his body was exhausted.

Leo smiled tenderly at Mikey, seeing that he was trying to force himself awake for him, not really there. "Of course Mikey, we'll always save you..." he said with a smile, "sleep, try to get some rest."

Mikey mumbled, his body relaxing as he slowly closed his eyes, whimpering slightly as he shifted on the bed.

"Is it all going to end yet?" Donnie asked wistfully.

"I hope so..." Raph replied, noticing Leo staring blankly at Mikey, eyes drooping tiredly.

"Com'n Leo, ya need some sleep," Raph ordered, "Come lie down."

"No..I can't fail Mikey again...I have to stay awake..." Leo mumbled.

"Leo...you can sleep here...on the cot right here...it was for Raph since Raph was going to sleep in here, but you can use it," Donnie explained.

Leo shook his head but Raph pulled him up anyway, sighing as he dragged his older brother to the cot, making him lie down. After tucking his exhausted brother in, they quickly left the room, leaving them to a night's rest.


	38. Twists

Chapter 38

'_Please...not Raphie...please... why...why me?'_ _Mikey whimpered as he felt Usagi's furred fingers pushing in and out of him, pain flashed through his body. _

"_Please...stop..." he whimpered, his eyes closed in fear. He could feel Usagi pushing at his entrance, mocking him as he was forced to say he belonged to him and beg him to take him. _

_His heart broke as he felt Usagi start pushing before a loud growl echoed the area. His heart raced as he felt something hard slam into their bodies, Usagi's length leaving his entrance and he whimpered, breathing in sharply as he tried to figure out what just happened. _

"_Mikey," he heard, a hand touching his and he whimpered, flinching away. _

"Mikey, wake up, it's a nightmare, you're safe," came Leo's cool calming voice that seem to be very close.

His eyes blinked open, a blurry Leo was soon becoming recognizable as he blinked awake. "L...Leo?" he said before yawning, "What happened?" he asked as he started to sit up, grimacing in pain as it felt the pain in his body grow.

He whimpered, biting his lip as he pushed himself up, his lower half burning slightly, eyes widening as he recalled what happened. His panicked blue eyes shot up to Leo's, "What happened?"

Leo smiled sadly, "You're going to be okay Mikey...I know you will..."

Mikey started to shake his head, his face showing his horror as he tried to deny it, "NO! It...it didn't happen...he...he wasn't there..." he choked out as the familiar shame and guilt grew inside him.

"He's gone now Mikey. I promise you that," Leo said regretfully.

"I...I thought he was gone Leo...I...I thought I was finally safe..." Mikey said shakily, sitting up as he whimpered, his eyes closing as random flashing of memories started flashing through his mind.

"I know Mikey..." Leo whispered, his voice filled with guilt, "I'm sorry."

Mikey glanced up, confused, "Why are you apologizing? You didn't bring him...he attacked me.. you didn't."

Leo bit his lip but confessed, "He was my friend...it was because of me he went after you."

Mikey shook his head, "You saved me Leo. If you wanted U...us...Usagi to have me... you...wouldn't have returned," he said firmly, grasping Leo's hand despite the initial grimace at the touch, even though he instigated it.

Leo glanced up, "We..were were almost to late...all I knew when I returned... was that Raph was fighting someone and you were on the ground. I was terrified that I had been too late."

Mikey's eyes brightened slightly, "You saved me Leo. You did...you kept your promise...and you saved me."

Leo nodded his head, before he asked; "Can I hug you?" knowing Mikey would be apprehensive about it.

Mikey hesitated slightly, watching his brother warily before he nodded his head, "Gimme a sec," he said firmly, closing his eyes as he concentrated.

Leo frowned as he felt Mikey's emotions seem to centre itself around him before they slowly disappeared. He felt some concern fill him, "You don't have to do that," he mentioned, waving his hand, "containing your emotions aren't good for you. Raph mentioned that it was harder for you to deal with everything."

Mikey smiled weakly at the mention of his twin's name, "Raphie knows that I have trouble Leo... but if he wants to hug me, I gotta contain my emotions... or you see what I see in my mind. I don't want you doing that..."

Leo nodded, understanding before he slowly engulfed his brother in a loose hug. He felt Mikey's tense body in his arms; his fingers on his hand gripped his arm tightly. He sighed, waiting as Mikey slowly relaxed.

He was startled as he suddenly heard loud shouting in the next room. Feeling Mikey tense in fear at the commotion, he tightened his grip slightly, "Mikey, I need to find out what's going on."

Mikey tensed slightly more, his hand tightening just a little tighter as he hesitated, looking fearfully at the door.

He could hear Donnie and Raph shouting in the other room, then a whole bunch of noise as things were suddenly thrown around. At Donnie's cry of pain, they both jumped up to feet.

Leo reached the door first, his arm up to keep Mikey behind him. Raphael was being forced against the wall, three samurai rabbits were pinning him to the ground while Donnie was against the wall, one arm bleeding slightly as he was forced against it, swords at his throat.

Mikey choked out a gasp of sheer terror at the sight of Usagi's species in the room, surrounding the only exit and his whole body started to shake in fear.

"What are you doing here?!" Leo yelled out furiously, hearing Mikey quaking behind him, Raph's loud growls as he attempted to get free.

Donnie spoke up, "They want to take Mikey for an interview on their world!"

"What?" Leo's voice darkened in anger, "How dare you come here! You have no claim on my world!"

"You brother dares to accuse our warrior of such horrific crimes on your planet! Your brother will come with us to ascertain his truthfulness," the one dressed in a black and gold samurai suit.

"You will do no such thing! Michelangelo will stay here under my care. How dare you try to kidnap my brother! He is under my care!" Leonardo said angrily, his eyes blazing with anger and fury.

"Michelangelo will come with us! He has accused our top warrior of such atrocity! He would never do such a thing!" the Samurai said angrily, "the only reason he was not taken before is because it was kept private and we just now found out where he was!"

Mikey whimpered as the samurai advanced, crouching down behind Leo, shaking with fear. _I wish the Daimyo was here to take them away..._ he let out a shriek of fear as there was a sudden blast of smoke filling the room and suddenly he was grabbed from behind.

He heard Leo's angered growl and knew he had to stop everyone from attacking into bloodshed. He screamed out, his anguish affecting everyone as they all fell to the floor.

His heart raced and pounded as he turned around, eyeing the black suited rabbit, his heart quaking at the sight of the light grey fur, whimpering as the rabbit advanced on him, trying to control his whirlwind of emotions.

"Please don't," he whispered weakly, his panic building as the man moved closer. He could hear his heart racing inside his head and his body throbbed and ached. _No, stop, go away_ he thought weakly as he backed up.

The samurai glared as he struggled to get to his feet, "Usagi is my brother in arms...I...I cannot believe he would harm you in such a way as you have described. His tribe has suffered, the towns he has sponsored have suffered... it is all because of you that there are sicknesses going about!"

_I gotta show them...I gotta show them the truth..._ Mikey thought as he stared at the rabbit, seeing the denial and anger in the rabbits eyes. _I...wonder if I can do it with them..._

Mikey's hand shook as he reached out, touching the paw of the samurai as his heart quavered. He closed his eyes, concentrating hard to send images to him, several images of his torment... **_Usagi pinning him to the bed...whispering in his ears...taking another part of his soul...Usagi beating him...laughing in his torment...forcing him to taste him...to beg him...Usagi controlling him...erasing his memories...doing it again...over and over...causing so much damage he lost his arm..._**

It took a lot out of him, to show snippets of his memories to this samurai. _This is easier with my brothers...this hurts...why...why does it hurt to show him..._he wondered briefly as his body relaxed in pain and exhaustion. _I can't take it anymore...it hurts..._

Images came to his mind...

_**Usagi as a child, running up to a burning building, crying in anguish as the house collapsed**_

_**Usagi growing up, running up to this rabbit as he cried in pain, his arm broken**_

_**Jeyto stood there, putting a necklace around Usagi's neck, praising him**_

_**Three small rabbits running up to both Usagi and this rabbit, smiling in happiness...**_

_**Usagi hugging the children, embracing them with love in his eyes...**_

_**The rabbit who he was touching stood there, crying as he watched Usagi lift his children...they had been killed, raped and tortured...limbs cut off...and Usagi was screaming in anguish...**_

_**Usagi running off in anger...killing every enemy in sight for his children's death...**_

_**Black and gold Samurai was being honored but as he glanced at his brother in arms, he saw a cold insane glint in Usagi's eyes and shuddered in fear...**_

_**Soon...he was sitting at a desk, reading reports of the enemy's children having being raped and tortured and there was no clue to who was doing it...**_

_**He stood there, reading a report of Usagi having abused a terripan child on Earth and had gone to prison. It had to be lies...anger filled his heart as he realized now why Usagi's villages were in such low standards and why his standing had fell...**_

_**It had to be all lies...not Usagi...not his brother...not the rabbit he helped Jeyto to raise...**_

Mikey couldn't handle all the images that crowded his mind all of sudden, never having to experience that before...it hurt so much, like his mind was on fire from all the images he had been forced to see...his hand dropped to his side...

He couldn't cope and felt his body feeling weaker...soon...he was falling to the ground.

He vaguely heard Leo's scared voice crying out and screamed in terror as furry paws grabbed him before he hit the ground. _He has me..._

It all became too much and his mind shut down...


	39. Kidnapping?

Chapter 39

Leo's POV

_What did Mikey just do?_ He wondered as he got to his feet shakily. He glanced over at the samurai who held him, fury in his heart at the sight, "What did you do to my brother?" he said, running forward as he pulled his brother out of his arms.

"I..I..did nothing..." the samurai said, allowing Leonardo to grab his brother and pull him into his arms.

"Mikey! Mikey, can you hear me?" Leo called frantically, touching Mikey's face, tapping it in worry and fear, "Mikey, please, wake up."

Leo saw no response and saw his brothers were still being held back. He glared at the black clad rabbit, "Let my brothers go! Donnie needs to see him! Now!"

The rabbit just nodded, speaking in a different language as he ordered the other rabbits to let them go. Soon Donnie and Raph were beside him, "Donnie, what's wrong with him?" he asked him.

Leo watched painfully as his brother checked Mikey's breathing, a hand on his plastron while looking at his watch, before he checked his eyes.

He heard Donnie mutter, "His eyes are rolled back...that's not good..."

Leo felt his heart racing in sudden fear, "What did you do!?" he screamed at the rabbit, his fury and fear clear on his face.

Raph growled angrily, his own anger filling the room as he got to his feet, "Ya tell me wha' ya did ta my lil' bro or I swear I'll kill ya r'ght now!"

"I...I swear, I did nothing. It is your brother..he...is the one...who did something..." the rabbit exclaimed, still shaken.

Jeyto opened the door, walking in with Healer Ariiliya behind him, his eyes widening at the sudden showing of the samurai rabbits.

At seeing the other samurai on the other side of the room, his anger seem to grow as he waved his hand as he ordered the other rabbits against the wall, "Put your weapons down!"

They obeyed instantly as the weapon soon clattered to the floor.

His mouth moved fast though as he realized who was in charge, "What are you doing here Candor!? Answer me!" he ordered angrily at the black clad samurai.

Leo saw Ariiliya standing there, her worried eyes looking towards them. "Healer Ariiliya, please, help Mikey! Something is wrong with Mikey!" he begged, still holding his limp little brother.

She rushed over, gasping at the pale color of Michelangelo's skin and the lack of one arm, "What has happened to him?" she asked, her voice wavering as she caught sight of his injuries.

Leo couldn't bring himself to speak and Raph was currently on top of Candor, beating the crap out of him since he now knew his name. Jeyto was attempting to pull Raphael off and finally succeeded.

Donnie spoke for him, his voice calm but still filled with panic, "When we came back to Earth, the atmosphere wasn't working for the oxygen he needed in his body to keep his arm healthy. His arm was dying so we had no choice but to amputate. Usagi attempted to rape Mikey yesterday afternoon and in the altercation with this recent attack...he just lashed out with his empathy in an attack on the others," he said quickly, helping to move Mikey to his bed in the bedroom, "but he did something to that Candor samurai...he cried out...and he has been unresponsive ever since."

Healer Ariiliya bit her lip at the intense sadness that seem to spread in the room and nodded, "Thank you Donatello..." she said calmly, this time laying her hand on Michelangelo's hand.

Mikey's body suddenly seemed to be brighter as she examined him, frowning in worry as she detected signs of abuse that were slightly older than yesterday.

She also found indications of a forced psychic connection which seem to tear whatever barriers Michelangelo had in place on his memories.

She gasped as she sensed a transfer of memories as well as some foreign memories. "What did your brother do?" she asked him.

Leo's heart raced as his mind tried to come up with an answer, "I...I don't know... h..he was scared... he...he knocked us down..." he stammered.

"Who knows what has happened?" she asked sternly, glancing around anxiously.

All eyes turned to Candor, several of them filled with anger, but Candor looked at them with remorse and guilt. He was about to speak when Raphael growled, "Ya bettah talk 'cause I don't got no problem gutting you right now!"

Candor shuddered as he felt the Sai touch his lower stomach, feeling like he was in a dangerous place right now, "I...I do not know. H...he touched my arm... sh...showed me...t...the truth..." he stammered out weakly, "it was true...brothers... what Usagi has done... it was true..."

"There is something else at work...something that has harmed him..." Healer Ariiliya said angrily, glancing up, "I need to examine you!"

Candor started to shake his head in denial but Jeyto spoke in anger, "You will be examined now Candor! You had no authorization on this planet and due to the fact you left our planet and attacked them, will cause all your ranks to be pulled!"

"No, sir, we had to!" Candor protested his eyes wide, "Usagi's villages are being torn apart in the rage against what has happened! His schools were torn down! We had to do something...we had to find the truth!"

"I assume you have it now?" Jeyto said angrily, his eyes blazing with anger, "I cannot save you. I have told Usagi this as well. You attacked them! Your crimes today will be punishable by our laws! You tried to forcibly take a child away from his own planet! That is a crime that leads to confinement for life!" he yelled.

Candor dropped to his knees, tears falling from his cheeks, "W...we had to do something...t...there are riots Admiral... our people are in an uproar. They all think us Warriors are like him... and now there is a revolt! We...we had to stop this!"

"The Councils will hear of your treachery but you will listen to Healer Ariiliya right now! In this you must obey!" Jeyto said angrily.

Candor nodded as Healer Ariiliya approached him, grimacing as she touched his arm, the same one that Michelangelo had touched.

Leo couldn't help but watch the interaction while still trying to call to Mikey to wake up. _He was worried about his little brother. He was limp and pale, looking as if he was dead. His body was cool and he knew that wasn't normal. _

"Enough, I must ask you what it is you saw," Ariiliya said calmly, her eyes blazing slightly.

"I...I saw that Usagi had done...had destroyed...in that young turtle. It was true Jeyto... everything was true...and I only saw seconds of the torment that the turtle went through," he admitted, filled with guilt.

"What did he see from your memories?" she asked sternly.

Candor looked confused, "I..do not know. I am not sure what you speak of."

"Michelangelo has fed off your memories as well...but what he saw hurt him...and the entire part where he transferred memories is dangerous and extremely painful. You have sent his recovery back!" she said angrily, letting him go.

Candor stumbled back, wincing as he hit the wall.

"Healer Ariiliya, are you able to determine if Michelangelo was assaulted in the way that was described earlier?" Jeyto asked, ignoring Candor's mutters.

"Ya think ya can jist ask tha'! My little bro is in a coma ya sick fuck! Get da fuck away from us!" Raph bellowed angrily.

Healer Ariiliya looked angry as she stood up, her hair almost flying all around in her anger, "Michelangelo has been abused longer than I have ever known any soul to be! He is injured, bruised and torn! He has not only lost himself, his future generations and parts of his soul, he has been brought to the brink of a coma! Now I want you to leave us now! I will report to you when I am DONE!"

Admiral Jeyto wasn't one to be intimidated but he was as he stumbled back, wincing as he quaked in fear, "Fall back...guards, take the prisoners...we shall be back by tomorrow!"

Leo glanced up at Ariiliya, a small smile on his face, "You really like Mikey...don't you?"

She smiled warmly at him, glancing down at Michelangelo before she kneeled beside him, "Yes Leonardo, I do like Michelangelo. He is young and innocent...but he retains such an aura that...almost cleanse oneself of their own heartache. Whenever I am near him, I can almost feel his...energy..." she said, touching his arm.

Mikey tensed immediately at her touch, still unconscious and whimpered slightly. Ariiliya frowned as she tried to repair the damage she could see but he was resisting.

"Raphael!" she called out, her voice calm and warm.

"Ya?" he asked, walking over and sitting down beside him. He frowned as he realized he was on the wrong side, he couldn't hold Mikey's hand on this side.

"How are your shields?" she asked him.

"Not good...his last blast...kinda wrecked them..." Raph admitted.

"What's going on Ariiliya? Is something really wrong with Mikey?" Leo finally asked, biting his lip nervously as he held Mikey's head in his lap.

"Yes...Michelangelo's mental state is frayed...he is barely holding onto his own shields..." she said sadly, "what he did with Candor...should not be possible with anyone. Has he shown you images?" she asked curiously.

They all nodded their heads and Donnie explained, "A week or so ago, Mikey blew up at us...telling us we didn't get it. He sent us a memory of his..." and his voice choked up a little, unable to continue.

Leo continued it, "Mikey showed us a memory where we all had a hand in hurting him...by sharing deep personal memories...that we shouldn't have shared," he whispered sadly, touching Mikey's forehead gently.

"Hmmmm, so did this hurt him to show these memories?" she asked.

Leo was about to speak up but Raph beat him to it. He watched his red banded brother slowly pull his bandana off, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he responded, "No...he said it don't hurt 'im ta show us memories...but it takes alotta outta him..."

"What he did with Candor...caused his mental and physical pain. It is unusual for such pain to break apart shields and break his own control... he is struggling to contain his emotions..." she explained, placing a hand on Mikey's arm, "even now...he is trying to ensure his memories do not cascade into my mind...and he is afraid."

Leo bit his lip, "He doesn't have to be afraid. We're here, we'll help him!" he said passionately.

"I believe he needs rest and no stress at the moment. He needs time to rebuild what has been broken. As to his other injuries, I am astonished at what has happened to him..." and she glanced up, "Why has he been abused for almost two weeks?"

Their eyes bugged out wide, "Excuse me!?" Leo choked out, glancing at Mikey in worry and fear, "No one has touched him...except that one day...like last week or something. That...that was all!"

Leo glanced up, shaking with a sense of loss and bewilderment, glancing up at his brothers for help. He could see their confusion and worry. Raph's hands were curled into a fist and his eyes were on fire while Donnie's mouth was closed in a grim line, his eyes furrowed as if he was in deep thought.

Leo felt this growing horror and protectiveness grow and it hurt. He couldn't explain how guilty and painful it had been to hear that. _Who hurt you Mikey...w...why didn't you say anything?_

"Wait a minute...didn't Mikey say he saw da bunny when we were campin'?" Raph questioned himself, "I... thought it was some sort of illusion..."

Leo shook his head, "No, this can't be true. We were protecting him! Healer Ariiliya, please...tell me he wasn't...r...r.." but he choked up, his throat clenching tightly at the horror of that one thought.

He glanced down, focussing on Mikey's gentle face, wondering if he was going to be alright when she spoke softly, "He has been abused but he has not been raped. The evidence of what has happened had left impressions...nothing more..." she said gently.

"But you can tell us what you see, can't you?" Donnie asked gently, "You were able to catalogue his torment before. Unravel past and present injuries he had suffered...you know what happened...don't you?"

Leo looked up at her and Don, watching warily as they seem to talk with their eyes but Ariiliya sighed, shaking her head, her hair fluttering gently at the motion, "I cannot tell you...Michelangelo is my patient first and if he wished for me to find out more...then I shall...but right now...he needs his rest."

He couldn't help but yawn at that remark, "Some...someone needs to be with him...a...all the time...w..what if someone tries to take him again?"

"No one will take him...this I swear to you Leonardo. He is under my care and if someone dares takes a patient from me without my consent will be under trial at the Nexxus," Healer Ariiliya said furiously, "and that will bring war to anyone who dares to challenge me."

They all nodded, understanding that at the moment, they were safe.


	40. Breakdown and Magic

Chapter 40

Mikey groaned as he woke up, whimpering at all the images he saw in his mind, gasping as he recognised Usagi with his children and shuddered at seeing their broken bodies. _That...that was him...be...before..._

He started to cry, not sure what to feel or even contemplate of what he remembered. _Why...why is this going on?_

The door opened and Mikey's heart thudded before he felt the gentle calm of Ariiliya walking in.

"Hi Michelangelo," she said, a smile growing on her face as she slowly made her way to the nearby chair, "Calm young one...we must talk."

"A...am..I in t..trouble?" he asked weakly, terrified that he had upset his healer.

"No Michelangelo, you are not in trouble. It will be good for you to talk with me, where I can help you heal. I also have some medicine that will heal your injuries," she said with a gentle smile.

Mikey hesitated at taking the medicine. _He had enough medicine by Usagi that had caused damaged that couldn't be erased. He was terrified he would lose more of himself_.

"It is okay Michelangelo. This does not have long lasting affects like those other ones. This one just heals your minor injuries, that is all," she assured him, handing over a small vial that had a gold glow, "It is similar to the one you had before when you had been injured on my world..."

Mikey bit his lip but took the vial, his hand shaking slightly before he downed it in one gulp. He felt strange; his whole body tingled and seem to fill with a cooling glow that engulfed his body. He sighed in relief as his minor injuries healed instantly and felt better.

_That works so much better..._ "H...how did that work?" Mikey asked curiously, handing the now empty vial back.

"It cools your body as it heals, pulling injuries back together and soothing injuries long endured by your body," she said with a smile, the vial disappearing in her blue robes.

Mikey nodded, pulling his blanket back up, glancing around worriedly, "Where are my brothers? Did those guys hurt them? Donnie's arm was cut, is he okay?" Mikey asked quickly, worry filling the entire room, "What about Raph and Leo? Are they okay? They didn't get taken away, did they?"

Ariiliya sighed, brushing her hair back as she took his hand, wincing at the sudden pain she felt emanating from him, "You're brothers are fine. They are worried about you and are not able to be here when I talk with you."

Mikey's eyes widened fearfully, "Why can't they be here Ariiliya? Is it something bad? What happened? Did He get my brothers? Did something else happen to them...or to me?"

"Michelangelo, be calm!" she said sternly, trying to get him to get control of himself but sighed as she saw him recoil and shield himself weakly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered contritely, looking ashamed of himself.

"Michelangelo, I need to ask you a few questions," she said gently.

"What about?" Mikey asked, his voice small, his blue eyes widening slightly.

"About what happened when you touched Candor earlier," she explained.

Mikey flinched violently at that, his body starting to shake as he breathed heavily, "Where are my brothers!? They cut Donnie! Is Donnie okay!?" forgetting instantly that he had just asked that question, "They were armed...they wanted to take me! I...I had to stop them!"

"Michelangelo!" Ariiliya called, startled by the sudden intensity of Michelangelo's growing panic that was rising in the room as his empathy seem to lose control. She could feel it battering against her shields and they were strong.

"I gotta stop them...they hurt Donnie...Raphie...Raph had swords on him ...they ...oh god...they wanted me...no...please..." Mikey said, his eyes open but weren't aware of their surroundings as the memories flashed through his mind.

"MICHELANGELO!" she called out but saw no effect on him and knew she was going to need some help. Stumbling to the door, she quickly opened it, calling out Michelangelo's brothers.

They ran inside, gasping at the intense panic and fear that seem to engulf their souls. "Mikey!?" Raph cried out, running towards him, placing a hand on his arm.

The intensity lessened dramatically as they stood there. The others were awed at the sight of them, staring into eachother eyes, seemingly communicating with eachother.

Unknown to the people in the room, that had been exactly what was happening through their growing bond.

_Mikey, ya gotta calm down. I ain't goin' no where..._

_Scared...scared...they...they wanted me..._

"NO! I don't wanna go! Not there...please...god...NO!" Mikey said loudly, his memories of Usagi building in his mind.

"MIKEY!" Raph screamed out, shaking him slightly, "Ya listen ta me! Ya ain't goin' no where. Ya stayin' 'ight 'ere wit me!" he said angrily, "ain't no one gonna take ya away, not evah!"

Mikey shook violently at his words, tears falling down his cheeks as he stared at him. His body shuddered slightly, shaking his head 'No'.

"What's going on Mikey?" Leo called out gently, stepping forward, placing his own hand on Mikey's shoulder.

Mikey tensed at the touch before he identified Leonardo's energy.

Ariiliya was amazed as she watched them, seeing energy being transferred and identified as if it was color coded but it wasn't. _Michelangelo had somehow gained amazing control of his Chi...which seemed to be extremely attuned to his Empathy, allowing him to use that as his defense._ _That's how he is able to attack people...and transfer...but he has no idea he is able to do such a thing._

Suddenly everything made sense to her as she realized just how Michelangelo did the transfer.

_The state of his mind afterwards and how easily he was manipulating the energy around them...making them feel his own emotions until he could identify them through his Chi...and if he deemed them safe...the impact lessened...they were safe...if not...he attacked..._

Ariiliya frowned, still in thought as she watched Donatello touch Michelangelo's shell, smiling as the energy seem to engulf Donatello's energy for a second before it faded. Michelangelo had smiled at his brothers, seeming to be more at ease now that they were there.

_He has no idea he is doing that...no idea what weapon he has..._ _it only comes out when he feels as if he is in danger..._she thought with a realization, _I have to find out how he transferred some memories to see if there is lasting damage _

"Michelangelo, please, I must ask you some questions," Ariiliya said gently, hating to break the scene in front of her as she walked forward. She was startled when Michelangelo stepped back in fear and knew then, she had to tread lightly.

_What has happened...why is he scared of me...I am trying to help him..._ she wondered as she sat down, waving her hand to get him and his brothers to sit nearby.

They sat down but Michelangelo was wary, his blue eyes darkened and worried. "Michelangelo...I can see you are worried...and possibly wary about talking with me. May I ask why?" she said gently.

Mikey bit his lip, glancing at Raph first, before he glanced at Donnie and Leo quickly. They saw he was anxious and worried and it concerned them all.

"Mikey..." Donnie said gently, "Please...tell us...we're worried about you."

"S...she has to tell...e...everyone what He done...t..to me..." Mikey whispered, his eyes darting up to Raph's and then Leo's, "I didn't want it! I really didn't! He made me say it! I swear, please..." he sobbed out all of a sudden.

They all gathered Michelangelo in their arms, whispering assurances that he they believed him.

It took a few moments but when Michelangelo calmed down, he still looked shaken but held Raph's hand tightly in his remaining hand.

"Michelangelo...this is very important," Ariiliya said slowly, "What did Usagi make you say?"

Michelangelo blushed in shame and whispered the dreaded words out, "H...he made me beg..." he paused, glancing at Raph in fear before he glanced away.

"Wha' is it Mikey? Ya didn't do nuthin' wrong," Raph assured him.

"He...he made me beg him to take me...h...he said that...I...I had to say it...or...or.." he broke off again, starting to shake a bit more, "or he would take you... that he loved your muscles..."

Ariiliya struggled not to react, knowing that this next part was important, "What else did you say to him Michelangelo...this must be told."

"I...I said... I said I belonged to him..." Mikey admitted guiltily, "but I didn't mean to! H..I...I had to say it! He...he said he would hurt Raph! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it, please don't make me go!"

Ariiliya's eyes darkened at his words and her face became hardened. Michelangelo, in his panic at seeing his healer act like this, thought it was towards him. "I'm sorry, please, I'll do anything Ariiliya! Please...d...don't make me go!" he begged, sobbing now as his entire body shook.

"Michelangelo, shhh, it is alright, it is not you that I am angry with," she tried to assure but Michelangelo was too distraught and overwhelmed to hear her.

"I'm sorry, I tried...I tried...Raphie...I'm sorry, I d...didn't want him to touch you...h...he already touched you..I'm sorry," Mikey sobbed out, his traumatic mind unable to focus as he tried to get up and away.

"Mikey! Shhh, ya okay now!" Raphael tried to assure but they all could see that having pushed Michelangelo to talk had caused him to breakdown. Ariiliya knew she needed to sedate the young turtle.

"Drink this Michelangelo, please," she said gently, handing over a clear glass of water, a sedative within.

"NO! Please, stop!" Michelangelo cried out, trying to pull away from the glass, "I'll be good, I'll be good! I'll listen! Please don't make me!" he babbled out.

Donatello was sobbing nearby, unable to take the scene of his younger brother breaking down.

Leonardo helped Raphael bring Michelangelo to the bed, ignoring his whispered apologies he didn't have to say before he handed his brother a glass, "Drink this Mikey, look, it's safe!" Leo said, taking a sip but not swallowing it.

Mikey watched him a moment before he nodded, trusting his brother, drinking it all down.

Raphael lifted his little brother into his arms, distracting him enough so Leo could spit out the water before Ariiliya spoke, "May I tell your brothers your injuries so they may understand?"

Mikey shuddered in Raph's arms, feeling disgusted and dirty but the shame built, "I...if th..they want...t..to know..." he stuttered out, ducking his face into Raph's plastron, hiding his face.

Ariiliya saw Raphael frown at Michelangelo's actions, a familiar light of anger darting in his eyes. She could see Michelangelo reacting to the anger, his good shoulder dropping in depression and she sighed. _How can I heal him now? He is too injured for me to help at the moment...fragile...how will he handle another trial so soon..._

"Ariiliya, can we talk to you?" Leonardo asked her, causing her to look up at him.

"Yes, you may," she said, slightly grateful for the reprieve. She stood, smiling gently at Michelangelo, "Rest Michelangelo...tomorrow will be a long day for you...as well as being stressful. Let your brothers take your burdens today."

Michelangelo nodded his head, grabbing the pillow nearby before curling up with it before he laid down on the bed. _Why are they leaving me? Am I not worthy... Dirty...I'm dirty...worthless... why...why do they feel anger...is it towards me? _ He wondered as he fell asleep.

_Was Usagi right...d..do...I re...really belong to him...I...gave up...I...I didn't think they'd save me..._Mikey thought, his mind whirling with thought and worry. _He forced me to give in...he made me...right? T...this is all my fault... my fault..._

* * *

Usagi's POV

Usagi was thrown into another cell, grunting as he hit the ground. He growled angrily as dirt was kicked upon him by the guard as he pushed himself to his feet. "You will pay for how you treat me Folaor!" he warned angrily at the guard.

"You are worthless Usagi! You deserve jail! How could you harm someone so innocent and young?" Falaor said, his dark brown jacket over light brown fur.

Usagi glared as he stood, his hand darting through the metal bars, tearing at the pouch of powder he knew every guard carried with them, medicine for instant injuries, stepping back with a smirk.

"Give that back Usagi!" Falaor said with a heated glare.

"Make me!" Usagi shot back, taking the words he recalled Raphael saying to Leonardo once, causing Leonardo to get quite angered, "You know you cannot get it back."

_He had watched the turtles for months, knowing their actions caused results. To break free...he would use what he learned..._he thought amused as he stepped back, cocking his eyes as he openly mocked Falaor, "You are too scared Falaor, even you do not want to challenge me," he said smirking, "standing here, half beaten to death and frail with no food or water for two days. You still are afraid of me!" he mocked.

"I AM NOT AFRAID! Usagi, I command you to give that back to me immediately!" Falaor said furiously, opening the door in anger, stalking towards him, smirking as he saw Usagi flinch, stepping back.

_Well..Raphael's tactics did indeed work...I really did not expect him to actually enter...foolish..._ Usagi thought as he lashed out quickly, his body ducking under Falaor's arm, rolling into the ball as he emerged standing up behind him.

Quickly and without hesitation, he grabbed Falaor by the neck, twisting it with a loud crack.

**Thunk...**

Falaor's body fell to the ground with a thunk. Usagi smirked, reaching into his body for the small tablet key that was used against him. He then quickly stripped him of his weapons and any other items, grabbing a few more security cards, identification cards. He would need those. He had to hurry.

_These people are foolish for them to think they can hold me in these cells. I created the entire security grid and protocols!_

He walked away from the cell, ducking into the shadows, glad he had taken the time to learn from Leonardo how to hide into the shadows._ It was good of my friend to teach me the means to escape._

He moved silently, embracing the world Leonardo had taught him, feeling immense pleasure about escaping using Leonardo's and Raphael's tactics.

He breathe in the fresh air of his planet, making his way to the caves he had found many years before, a place of solitude that he had found shortly after his sons had died.

As he walked into the caves, being sure to bypass his own security grids and traps, he grinned at his home. All over the walls contained paintings of his victims, each one as detailed as the next. He walked over to one wall that contained more than paintings.

He pressed the button for one of them and smiled gleefully as it played out one of his first memories of taking Michelangelo. He became hard as he relived the moment.

After taking care of some yearning business, he gathered up dozen of powders and once again pulled out a bag he had sent here before he had been captured.

Mixing up in a container, he started to combine the many ingredients, taking a small piece of cloth that had blood and tears mixed within, he added it to the mix.

_Well Michelangelo...you will be changing your story now...and resolved this hideous and pathetic display. You belong to me...and now...you will fix this._ Usagi thought as he smiled evilly, burning the mix of ingredients into a nearby fire.

"Michelangelo..." he called out, starting a chant that connected to Michelangelo's spirit, pulling at it as he added another sliver of cloth that contained Michelangelo's blood, "Michelangelo...sleep...it is alright...it is your Master..." he called with a smirk as he added another blue powder to the now large burning fire.

_**On another planet, Michelangelo twitched, his drugged body at the mercy of Usagi's potion that tugged as his spirit...whimpering slightly as his dream world slowly changed...fighting against something as his body slumped a little deeper...falling into a slumber where the world was changing around him...**_

Usagi smiled as he pulled out several pieces of brown fur, adding it to the fire, his melody of chants echoing in the cave as the magic poured around him. "Michelangelo...my son..." he called out, mimicking Splinter's voice as he opened his eyes to the dream world he created...stepping in front of Michelangelo.

"_**F...father?"**_** Michelangelo whispered weakly as his father stood in front of him, his brown eyes cold and angered...advancing on the younger turtle...**


	41. Confused

**A/N: Don't kill me...but I had to!**

* * *

Chapter 41

_Mikey whimpered as he backed away, "F...father?" he whispered, a strong yearning to run to his father and embrace him. He wanted to sob in his arms and cry his worries away like he did as a child but his Father was angry. _

"_Michelangelo..." his father spoke, his voice strong and sharp, feeling as if it was stabbing right through his heart at the tone. _

_Tears stung his eyes as he stared, trembling against the wall, feeling the fear and worry build. He felt like he had done something wrong and his father had caught him. _

_He said the first thing that came to his mind, "I'm sorry," he whispered immediately. _

"_Michelangelo!" Splinter said again, this time advancing a step, his tail curled behind him, whipping around that showed his anger. _

_Mikey gulped, knowing he was in really big trouble, "I'm sorry father...w...what did I do?"_

"_You dishonored your family Michelangelo!" Splinter said sternly. _

_Mikey's heart dropped and his head fell as he tried to process the words. '__**dishonored the family? How? U...Usagi...**__' _

"_You mean because of U...Usagi?" Mikey stammered out. _

"_No my son. You dishonored your family by not following through your words. I thought you loved your brothers..." Splinter said angrily. _

_Mikey's eyes widened and he stepped forward, his hands clenching, "I DO love my brothers! W...what is...t...this about?"_

_Splinter glared, "You do not love your brothers Michelangelo! You gave your word that you would obey Usagi-san! You also said you would do anything for them. You even told Usagi that you belonged to him! And yet, you are breaking your word."_

_Mikey's whole body felt weak all of a sudden as he stumbled in his shock, his body now shaking in denial as he processed his father's words. "I...I can't..." he choked out, "Father...p...please...y...you don't know what you are asking..."_

_Splinter's hand drew up and flew across his face, his sharp claws that once always filed smoothly, cut across his cheek, leaving behind marks. "You dishonor my clan!"_

_Mikey sobbed with building shame and horror. __**Father was telling him the truth. All this time...he had been going back on his word...Father taught them if you give your word...if you promise...if you say you will do something...to never break that. Dishonoring your clan...that was a huge taboo**__. _

"_I...I'm sorry father..." Mikey whispered, still in shock, his father standing over him. _

"_You will not apologize to me and you will apologize to Usagi!" Splinter commanded angrily, "It is he you are supposed to be obeying and yet you are here, planning to tell the authorities that he did something against your will when you know, you gave him your body and your soul! You belong to Usagi-san," Splinter's voice grew sharper as he advanced, grasping Mikey's chin with his paw. _

_Mikey was forced to look into his father's eyes, seeing the love along with the cold anger, shivering at the remembrance of Sliver from the Alternate reality he had visited once before in his youth. _

"_You will refuse to speak ill of him. You gave yourself to him. Obey me or you will dishonor me and your brothers. Do you wish this?" Splinter said furiously. _

_Mikey shook his head in shame. __**Donnie wouldn't really care up front but it would hurt him...drive him away...isolate him...he already feels guilt because of my arm.**_

_**Raphie would act tough but he'd get angrier and furious...**_

_**Leo would probably commit seppuku just to restore honor to the clan. **_

_**Seppuku...I can do that!**_ _Mikey thought in an inspirational thought but Splinter apparently caught onto his line of thinking because his next words were, "If you dare to leave this life to restore honor that way, you will be leaving your brothers at the mercy of the Shredder and Bishop. They need you Michelangelo to live...or they would kill themselves. You know this to be true."_

_**Yeah...that is true...I don't know why..I'm nothing but a whore...**__and as he looked up to Splinter, he nodded, "Yes Father...you're right...I belong to U...Usagi... he is my master..."_

_Splinter looked at him, his eyes lit up with happiness and pleasure. Mikey smiled weakly as he stood up, "I missed you Father..."_

"_And I miss you my son...please keep smiling for your brothers...I love you," Splinter said as he slowly faded away. _

_Michelangelo stood there for the longest time, trying to figure things out when he suddenly sensed Usagi standing nearby, watching him. He could feel his body trembling with fear and loathing and he wanted to flee. _

_**I can't...I...I can't run...h...he owns me...**__ Mikey thought defeated as Usagi approached. Mikey didn't speak as Usagi walked around him, a predatory look on his face, a paw caressing his arm, then his shell, examining him like he was just an animal. _

"_You will obey Michelangelo?" Usagi said with an oily grin. _

"_Y...ye...yes..." Mikey stammered out, inhaling sharply as Usagi licked his cheek, shuddering at the cool sensation from the saliva left on his cheek. He wanted to wipe it away but knew he couldn't. _

_He was terrified and the fear of the unknown was growing. _

"_I quite enjoyed Raphael's legs...so strong...so smooth and filled with bulging muscles," Usagi purred in his ear, his paws caressing up and down his legs, "you have lost weight...no longer as beautiful as I once knew..." _

_Mikey knew he lost weight and that he didn't look quite as healthy as he once was, "No...please...leave Raph alone! Please Usagi!" he pleaded with him, his blue eyes widening with a panic he could feel that was building. _

"_I am not sure...my tastes...in my pets...do change..." Usagi said, enjoying this game. _

"_PLEASE USAGI! Take me! You don't want Raph! OR Leo or Don! Please, I'll do anything, just leave them alone!" Mikey begged, wanting to break down and sob. _

"_Very well," Usagi whispered in his ear before he faded away. _

Mikey shot up in the bed, panting hard and fast, confusion filled his mind as he glanced around frantically.

His body started to shake as he denied what had had dreamed about. _Father really wants me to...to...o..obey Usagi?_

He wished he had both arms at the moment because right now, he wanted to wrap both arms around his knees and curl into a ball and cry.

_This can't be happening...this can't be... I...I can't...Father...w...why? Why did you tell me that?_

He glanced out his window, sighing as he saw it was raining. _I wish I was outside... that the Earth would clean me...I...I miss being clean..._

He leaned back against his bed, just watching the rain fall, his mind troubled by his dream as he tried to contemplate whether or not it was real. _It had to be fake...F...Father would never want us..t...to give in like that... H...He wouldn't make me g..go..w..would he?_ He doubted as he shivered at the thought.

He suddenly heard a tapping at the door and it was Ariiliya's voice. His heart started to race rapidly as he thought of what he had to do next. He started to shake his head, gasping in fear as the door opened.

_No! I'm not ready! Please...I...I can't!_

"Michelangelo, we must talk," Ariiliya said gently as she walked in. Mikey watched as she sat down nearby.

"Where are my brothers?" Mikey asked quietly.

"They are giving their statements right now Michelangelo," Ariiliya explained, "and you will be next. They are not allowed to talk with you about what happened until after you gave your statement."

Mikey shivered, not wanting to talk at the moment. He glanced back outside, still shivering as he watched the rain fall.

"Michelangelo, are you okay?" Ariiliya asked her voice smooth and gentle.

Mikey just shook his head, feeling uncertain and afraid. _Should I give my statement? W...what if...what if Splinter is right? Did I really give myself to him? Then this is moot... I...I can't say anything...i...if I do... I'm dishonoring the family. Daddy, did you really make me promise to go to Usagi?_

A tear slipped down his cheek as he shuddered, a small whimper leaving his mouth at the thought of Usagi's people coming. His head dropped as he started to cry.

"Michelangelo, what is wrong? Please...talk to me," Ariiliya said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Suddenly she gasped at the sensation of pain that was filling her body. "Oh Michelangelo, I know you are scared and frightened but you are doing a good thing by telling."

"It doesn't feel right Ariiliya..." Mikey spoke softly, "I feel...bad... that I did something wrong..."

"But you did not do anything wrong Michelangelo. You are doing the right thing by telling," Ariiliya said firmly, "What Usagi did to you was wrong!"

"W...wrong," Mikey stuttered, laughing weakly as he shook his head, glancing up at her, "I gave my body to him... I said he owned me! I'm nothing but a slut Ariiliya..." and he stood up, "Usagi had every right to use me...I belong to him."

Ariiliya's eyes widened as Michelangelo stood, walking to the window and looking out. Her voice was filled with panic, "W...why are you talking this way!? Usagi used you Michelangelo! He took what wasn't his to take!"

Mikey shook his head, his hand touching the spot where his arm was cut off, "He took all of me...my soul...my body...I belonged to him," and his head dropped as he whispered, "I'm dropping the charges..."


	42. Convincing Michelangelo

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy! Have another coming probably in two days. **

* * *

Chapter 42

"WHAT?" Ariiliya said with a gasp, "Tell me what you just said once more!" she demanded.

Mikey continued to look out the window, shaking his head slightly before looking down, "I'm dropping the charges...I...I can't do it anymore...I'm tired..."

Ariiliya was stupefied, sitting down in a nearby chair as she tried to contemplate what he just said. "You are not thinking things through Michelangelo. You must talk about this," she said carefully.

"I have thought about it and I...I have to.." and he turned around, his blue eyes dim and haunted, "I'm dropping the charges."

"W...what happened? Did Usagi get to you?" she said, standing up, her heart pounding in fear.

Mikey just shrugged, looking away in shame.

"Don't you want Usagi to pay for what he did to you?" Ariiliya said, walking closer to Michelangelo, frowning at the pain and frustration she could feel emanating from him. _He's so scared...frustrated...but he won't say why..._

"I belong to Usagi Ariiliya...he owns me...t...this is wrong. I...I would be telling lies and I...I can't do that...I can't do this anymore..." he whispered, a tear falling down one cheek, "I...I can't win...if...if I drop the charges...al...all this heartache will finally stop for my brothers. They won't be tormented anymore!" Mikey stepped forward, looked for her to agree, "My brothers will be safe from him!"

She understood then that Usagi had gotten to Michelangelo somehow and had a strong hold over him. "What if Usagi breaks his word Michelangelo? He already went after your brother Raphael...what if his obsession transfers to him as well?"

Mikey shook his head, "It won't...I know it won't. It's me he wants. He told me that he wants me. He won't hurt them. Ariiliya...I...I can't keep breaking down just for my brothers to keep falling with me. They are in pieces because of what happened. Look at Usagi's world! There are riots and villages being torn apart! All because I accused Usagi of hurting me! People are suffering..." Mikey looked to be near tears as he continued to talk, "It's not his fault..."

Ariiliya's eyes widened with shock, shaking her head, "What do you mean it is not his fault?"

"His race was fighting against another...who retaliated Ariiliya! They kidnapped his children...r...raped...raped them...cut them into pieces. He found them..." Mikey said with a choked sob, "T...they were s...so small...tiny...y...young..."

Ariiliya's gasped with shock, suddenly understanding what he was talking about and shook her head rapidly, "That was not your fault Michelangelo! What happened to his sons happened years before you! Usagi chose to retaliate against his own world by killing and raping those who done him wrong! You did nothing to him!"

"I did! I..." and he stopped, pausing as he tried to think of a reason why Usagi wanted him, "I had to have done something! He wanted me...he has me. I belong to him!"

"No Michelangelo. You do not belong to him. You belong to yourself. No one can own you. You are a free person," Ariiliya explained calmly.

"No I'm not. I belong to him. I gave my body and soul to him. I had to, he wanted Raphie...I couldn't let that happen," Mikey said, looking out the window, "I gave in Ariiliya...I stopped fighting it...I belong to him...and I can't go back on that...or I would dishonor the family."

"But...but..." she was at a loss, unsure on what to say or do to convince Michelangelo that he was wrong but knew she had to admit the truth, "Michelangelo, you cannot give away your body and soul without your guardians permission. Since we know neither Splinter nor Leonardo gave their permission for Usagi to claim you," she paused, glancing at Michelangelo with sorrow, "he has no hold over you. The charges cannot be dropped without Leonardo's permission."

Mikey whirled around, his eyes widening in betrayal and shock, "WHAT?!"

His shriek caused the door to peek open, "Is Michelangelo ready to testify?"

Mikey stormed to the door, "No, Michelangelo is not ready," and slammed it shut before he turned around, glaring at Ariiliya, "Explain to me why I can't drop the charges!"

Ariiliya smiled softly, "Leonardo is your guardian now that Splinter has passed away and because he is the one pressing charges on your behalf, there is nothing you can do to stop him."

"But...but that's not fair! I...I should have a say in it!" Mikey said, whimpering.

"You do Michelangelo! You can tell everyone what Usagi did...he hurt you...over and over. He made you scream...bleed...he made you beg," Ariiliya said in a calming voice, "he made your family watch once...as he took you, then erased the memories..."

"No! T...that wasn't a real memory!" Mikey said quickly, his eyes widening in hurt and fear, "He didn't do that! I gave my body to him!"

"In the beginning, you begged for him to stop as he pushed your legs apart. You begged him to let you go as he drove deep inside you, tearing your flesh and laughing at your pain," she continued, tears rolling down her cheeks as she saw the horror she was making him relive.

Mikey choked back a sob, shaking his head in denial as she approached him, "N...not true...I...I belong to him..."

"You told me once before...the others you told...and in your journal you wrote that he was hurting you...that you begged him to stop. You screamed for him to stop. You screamed for your brothers...your father...when he came into your room each night, taking another piece of you away!" she continued.

"Then he made you start begging...he made you beg each time...and start thanking him. You told me you had to say please...and thank you. You know each time you did this, your heart was screaming No each time! Does this sound like someone who gave his body and soul to him?" she asked angrily.

Mikey sobbed on the floor, shaking his head, 'No', tears running down his cheeks as he tried to deny everything Ariiliya said.

"You know that this must stop," Ariiliya said, "Don't you want it all to stop?"

Mikey nodded, "Please...help me...I...I...I don't want to listen to this anymore... I don't...Father told me...I...have too...please... let me stop."

"Tell me Michelangelo, why do you think your father wants you to go to Usagi? He was horrified this happened to his baby, why would he change his mind now?" Ariiliya asked gently, moving closer.

Mikey glanced up at her, his heart clenching in fear at what he was about to do. His hand shook badly before he placed it on her hand.

Suddenly Ariiliya saw a memory before her eyes. _She saw Splinter san telling Michelangelo to give himself to Usagi and that he would dishonor the family if he did not. When she saw the dream world transform once more, showing Usagi-san circling Michelangelo, she knew she was in trouble._

Suddenly it was all gone and she glanced at Michelangelo, "What happened after that?"

"I...I can't...I can't testify...or...or he'll go after Raph," Mikey admitted, his head throbbing from crying, stress and showing that memory to her.

"Usagi is in jail, he cannot harm you anymore," she said.

Mikey glanced up at her, shaking her head, "It doesn't really matter anymore... Usagi wants Raphie next...if I testify...he'll go after him. I can't do that. My family is more important. I...I will not testify..."

"If you don't, then Usagi will be free to harm you or Raphael. You know your brother roams the streets on your world by himself all the time, do you wish to shelter him forever?" Ariiliya asked.

"N...no..." Mikey stammered, "b...but if I testify...he'll just get free! He has before!"

"He won't! I promise you!" Ariiliya said with conviction, "He is locked up. If you testify, then he will be put to death for his crimes against you and Raphael and your entire family! I promise you Michelangelo, this will end soon!"

Mikey glanced away, his body still trembling. He winced slightly as his shoulder dropped, biting his lip. He stared back at Ariiliya, "Y..you promise he won't get away? He won't come after me if I testify?"

"I promise!" she said with a smile.

"Alright Ariiliya, I trust you. I...I'll tell them...e..everything..." he finally relented, a tear slipping down his cheek.

She smiled, "I am so proud of you!"

She got up, walking to the door, "Now, the Daimyo and myself will be with you while you are being interviewed and your brothers will be along the wall if you wish but they cannot be beside you if they decide to comment or push your words out," she explained.

Mikey got to his feet, feeling as if the whole world was wrapping around him as he stepped out the door, gulping at the sight of several different colored rabbits all taller than him, armed and wearing black style ninja garb.

_I...I can do this...H...he won't hurt me anymore..._


	43. Ue-Suma kidnapped

**A/N: OrangeBarmy totally helped me out with this chapter, and the next! Hope you all like. **

**Nice Extra long chapter for all my fans so leave a review if you can please!**

**Also got the bunny from Guardian 921. It wouldn't leave me alone so I included it. hehe, Thanks!**

**Warnings: Usagi/Mikey, Threats of abuse against minor (not described but implied.**

** Do not read if you don't like. **

**Warning: Non-con situations ahead Usagi/Mikey, forced, manipulation, coercion! **

* * *

Chapter 43

**Usagi's POV**

Elsewhere, hidden in the shadows, was Usagi. He smirked as he easily infiltrated the home, scoffing at the security measures the Daimyo had tried to put in.

_How easy it was to slip inside...the Daimyo has no care to the subtle complexes of infiltration, does he?_

Usagi had a plan and knew he had to go forward in order to get to Michelangelo. He had gathered many slips of information from the red haired women named April, who spoke easily of what was happening at Splinter's grave site.

He shook his head at that, mocking almost that she was divulging everything he needed to know earlier that morning.

As he made his way through the Daimyo's temporary home, he finally heard it.

A small giggle slipped passed the doors to his right.

_There he is..._ and grinned with happiness.

As he followed the sounds, he saw two guards ahead and shook his head with a smirk. _The Daimyo's guards are weaklings...even my warriors can kill them without a qualm..._

They looked half asleep. _Useless..._Usagi dug into his bag, pulling out a sandy brown powder, putting both in each hand, before he attacked.

He covered the guard's mouth and nearly cackled with glee as they inhaled the powder without screaming.

They fell limply, unconscious to the ground and Usagi contemplated whether he had the time to kill them but hearing the laughter within the room, he stepped away.

_Michelangelo would do anything for others...but what would he do for a child? _Usagi wondered as he stepped over the guards.

Usagi peeked inside and grinned at the sight of a young Ue-Suma playing on the floor, dinosaur replicas of the Triceratons and large dragons littered the floor.

He could see Ue-Suma directing them, making them play out what he commanded and knew he had not heard a thing.

"Ue-Suma..." he said, his voice low and purred with danger as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

Ue-Suma's head snapped up, his eyes widened with terror, "GUARDS! HELP ME!" he screamed as he jumped to his feet. _He knew who Usagi was. He had harmed Michelangelo-san!  
_  
Usagi felt his loins tighten as he advanced on the youth, grinning with glee as he watched him toss the toys in his hands at him. He smacked them away, advancing with a smile.

"You will be coming with me...and we shall have some fun games to play..." Usagi said menacingly.

"NO! FATHER! GUARDS!" Ue-Suma screamed desperately, scrambling to the wall. He glanced around, trying to find a way out of this house.

Ue-Suma felt the panic build as he was still unfamiliar with the way Earth built their houses so when he ran to another door, he pulled and pulled but the door was stuck closed.

Usagi's arms wrapped around him and he inhaled the scent of fear; chuckling a little as he embraced the Daimyo's son. He ignored the hits and grunts, quickly rendering the child unconscious with a quick tap the back of the head.

"You were warned Michelangelo," he whispered, disappearing from the room in seconds.

* * *

**Mikey's POV**

Mikey had to be cajoled to the table, gulping as Usagi's species sat across from him, gulping with fear. He started to tremble as memories cascaded his mind.

"Michelangelo Hamato," the Daimyo spoke gently, "We have brought this congregation here on your world to make it easier for you to testify. I, my son and staff are stationed nearby in a clearing. The house is similar to yours so we will blend in easier," he explained, "and there is a protection spell alerting us if any other humans, other than your friends, approach this farm. Is this okay?"

Mikey shrugged, grimacing at the gesture as it caused pain to shift down his still healing shoulder.

"Very well, we shall begin with introductions," the Daimyo informed, his large hand and glowing eyes moved to roam through the room. He slowly introduced everyone and allowed Michelangelo to have his brothers sit directly behind him despite the Samurai's in the room objections.

"Michelangelo, this is the time for you to tell us your statement on what has occurred. We are asking about what happened between you and Usagi Miyamato and the events that led to his charges being changed. Do you understand this?" the Daimyo said gently.

"Y...you..you want me to t..talk about..w..what U.. .Usagi... d.. did ...r ..right?" Mikey stuttered, clearly afraid of talking as the Samurai's all seem to glare at him. His stomach clenched painfully and he felt sick to his stomach.

_I don't think I can do this...I wish they would stop...don't they know they shouldn't look at me!_

"Michelangelo? Are you okay? Do you need a break?" the Daimyo asked gently.

"A break!" the large black clad Samurai said angrily, "We will not stop for a break Daimyo, we have barely begun! This is obviously a scheme to get back at our villages. Usagi Miyamato did no crime if this terrapin can't even talk!" he shouted angrily, standing to intimidate, his grey eyes blazing with anger and he stared at Michelangelo with hatred.

Mikey started trembling even further, his whole body tense as he stared, cringing in fear at the yell as well as the rabbit stood over him, large and Mikey felt the fear build.

_Why is he yelling at me? Did I do something wrong?_ Mikey thought, starting to gasp for air. _He could hear Ariiliya beside him, telling him to take a deep breathe but it was so hard. He could hear them arguing and screaming with eachother. _

"General Kaden, enough," the Daimyo yelled, now standing, "there is no harassing the client!"

No one really noticed when the orb appeared but the Daimyo was startled at the sight of it.

Michelangelo panicked even more, his heart racing in fear. He scrambled to his feet, trying to move away from it but he couldn't. It was following him.

_NO! NO! GO away! _ He thought in terror, hitting the wall and sliding to the ground, trembling.

"Michelangelo, it is alright. This message is from my son," the Daimyo said, reaching for the orb.

It flashed a brilliant red throughout the room before it revealed the sight of a young boy, his red hair messy and his shirt torn open.

"Ue-Suma!" the Daimyo cried out in anguish, "My son, what has happened?"

_**Beside Ue-Suma, Usagi stepped forward, his smirk obvious on his face as he spoke, "Michelangelo, you will come and meet me as soon as possible or Ue-Suma here, will be my new pet," he said smirking, touching Ue-Suma's face with a smirk.**_

"You have one hour from this message being opened to return to me and leave your family. You know where to find me," Usagi said.

"_**You better hurry, my desire grows. Oh, and if anyone interferes, Ue-Suma here, will have the pleasure of being my pet. I have my ways of watching,"**_ and the orb flickered out.

"YOU SEE!" Raph screamed out angrily, storming towards the rabbits nearby, "Don't you see he's a sick bastard! Now stop this sham and leave my bro alone!"

"This is not our doing Terrapin! You will do best to keep your mouth shut or you will make this process worse! How do we know this is not some ploy you caused!" General Kaden said angrily, his hand moving to his sword by his side.

"Ya make one move ta your weapon and I'll kill ya right now!" Raph threatened angrily.

Everyone was shouting, the whole room was in turmoil as people shouted to and fro, screaming angrily at eachother.

One small turtle stood by the door, huddled near the floor as the shouting got louder and louder, Leonardo was climbing onto the table, stalking towards the others while Raphael was on the floor, wrestling with one of the prosecutors.

Ariiliya was beside the Daimyo, trying to get him to focus on his breathing while Donnie was on the other side, checking the orb for tampering.

Leonardo was talking with a guard from outside, trying to get him to go and check the rooms.

The whole time this was going on, Mikey stared with wide eyes.

_Usagi and Father were right...t...this is wrong...I...I should have gone...now he has Ue-Suma...this is my fault!_

His heart clenched painfully as the guilt build in his heart, recalling Ue-Suma's terrified eyes. _He was young, younger then he was and he did not deserve Usagi's desires. I have to help him...I have to go..._

"I'm sorry bros..."

With one last glance, he slipped from the room, hearing a loud roar of anger as Leonardo yelled at someone.

* * *

**Mikey's POV**

Mikey was grateful that he still had some ninja training in him as he quickly hide in the shadows, making his way to the woods. He knew where he had to go.

Stealthily, he made his way to a hidden cave. He recognized the background since he himself had done the cave drawings. It took some time and he was panting near the end from exhaustion and exertion but he had made it.

"Usagi! Let him go!" Mikey called out, stepping inside.

He glanced around the front of the cave dwelling, seeing the small amount of smoke leave the cave. He followed it, smelling some meat and his gut clenched when he heard sobbing.

_**Ue-Suma!**_

He ran, rushing along the cave floor, wincing as he grazed his foot a few times on loose rocks.

Up ahead, he saw Usagi chuckling, standing much too close to young Ue-Suma, the child's bare chest still exposed but seemingly unharmed.

Mikey screamed, "STOP!" in fear, now realizing that Usagi hadn't done anything to him yet.

Usagi glanced his way, smiling with delight, "Michelangelo, how nice," he said, the paw which had been hovering over the child's shoulder dropping away, "I thought you might join us."

"NO, please, leave him alone! He is young and doesn't deserve this!" Mikey pleaded, "His dad won't be able to handle losing him again!"

"Well, then he should not have interfered. What better punishment for his father than to break his son's spirit?" Usagi said, grinning at the youth who squirmed in fear at the look.

"Ue-Suma...h...he didn't t...touch y...you, d..did..h..he?" Mikey stammered in fear, his gut twisting with fear.

"N..no Michelangelo-san... h...h...he s..says...h..he wanted...y..you..." Ue-Suma stuttered out, terrified, moving closer to Mikey in fear.

Usagi stepped forward towards him, "NO!" Mikey shouted, "I won't let you have him! Leave him be!"

Usagi's eyes grew small and hatred sparked in them, a paw coming up and smashing hard across his face, "You do not tell me what to do!" he snarled angrily.

Mikey fell to the ground, yelping as Usagi landed on top of him, pinning him down.

Mikey fought back, his one arm trying to smash his fist into Usagi's smug face before Mikey felt it being pushed against the ground, pinned as he felt his legs being forced apart by Usagi's strong legs.

Mikey's breath hitched as he started to shiver, grunting and thrashing as Usagi started to molest his body, "Don't look ...p..please Ue-Suma..." he panted out as Usagi licked down his body, "D..don't..l..look," he whispered in shame.

He glanced up at him, seeing Ue-Suma crouched near the ground, his back to them as he covered his ears.

Mikey's whole body tensed as he felt Usagi's tongue start lapping at his slit, slipping between the scutes so that he could lick the head of Mikey's member.

"Please...U..Usagi...s..stop...l..let him g..go," Mikey begged as he grunted, feeling his arousal grow despite him telling his body 'NO' but it wasn't obeying his commands tonight. He tried to be quiet, to prevent Ue-Suma to look, whimpering as he bit his lip.

"I will only let him go when you, my pet, have persuaded me otherwise!" Usagi snarled out, moaning in pleasure as he felt Mikey harden under his ministrations.

"Persuade you?" Mikey groaned in pain as he tried to keep himself hidden.

"I want you as my pet Michelangelo. I want you to obey my every command. I want a body to use as I see fit, I want this body to use as I see fit," Usagi whispered as he lavished attention upon Mikey's neck.

Mikey felt his breathing catch in his throat as he began to understand truly the levels of depravity that Usagi was willing to sink to. _If Mikey resisted any further or refused to give in to Usagi's commands then the rabbit had every intention of taking another less able to resist prey, prey like young Ue-Suma._

The young ninja lay underneath Usagi, his head turned towards the same child who cowered in the corner trying desperately to block out what was happening.

Mikey knew he could never let Usagi touch him, nobody especially a child deserved what he had gone through.

Usagi purred loudly as he found Michelangelo's entrance, pushing a finger in, ignoring the cry of pain from Mikey's throat as he was dryly breached.

Mikey's legs were forced apart and he felt his body obeying unspoken commands that Usagi had forced upon him. He whimpered as he was told, "Hold still my pet, you know better than that," and tried to stifle his grunt of pain as Usagi slid inside quickly.

Mikey bit through his lip at the pain, the all too familiar feeling of his flesh being torn once again.

The sensation of being stretched beyond what was normal, the unadulterated fear of knowing he was being owned and possessed by another soul. The wave of nausea flooded through him as Usagi started to thrust aggressively.

"N..no...p...please..s..s..stop..." Mikey grunted out, his body lax as he lay there defeated, knowing he couldn't fight or Usagi would go after Ue-Suma.

"No Michelangelo...t...this is what I have been...w..waiting for..." Usagi panted out with a smile, "all those months away, all those months imaging the feel of you… using whatever body was available and forcing myself to believe it was you. That creature..." Usagi moaned, his voice filled with pleasure as he pushed back inside.

As he pulled out, he continued to speak, "Oh...Michelangelo...that creature...he didn't quite squirm the way you did. He didn't beg and plead in those sultry tones the way you do. I owned him Michelangelo, body and soul, and yet it wasn't enough, he….was …not…you!"

Usagi punctuated each of the last four words with hard deep thrusts, bringing a crackling cry of pain from his hostage.

"You forced me to compromise Michelangelo, you forced me to accept second rate goods and now you must be punished for your actions."

Mikey lay underneath Usagi trying desperately to breathe as each thrust seemed to suffocate him further. His face was still turned towards Ue-Suma making sure the child never looked at them. A heavy paw grabbed his face and forced him to turn back and look into the darkening orbs of his abuser.

"You must be punished Michelangelo, you must relearn your place under me ... and now because of what you did ... Raphael…he will be next.. as well as this human child..." Usagi said darkly, licking his face.

Mikey's eyes widened in pain and understanding, a fire rolling in his gut as he grunted with each painful thrust. He could help but cry as he was manhandled around. _Everything he had done to protect his brothers, to protect others and he had failed_.

"N...NO!" Mikey cried out panicked; now instinctively fighting a little heavier, whining deep in his throat as Usagi moved his glance towards the boy.

"He shall enjoy pleasing me...as well as your brother...he's so strong...do you think he will scream as I tear him apart? Big strong masculine Raphael, do you think he will cry like a baby as I mount him? Do you think he will beg just like you did? Do you think he will plead for me to stop?" he said with a grin.

Mikey didn't know when the anger and pain shifted, before he finally burst into a loud scream, crying out as Usagi bit his shoulder as he thrust deep inside him, crying out.

He could feel him pulling in and then deeply, feeling the beginning of his release as he felt the anger flow through him.

_Usagi had promised if Mikey gave himself to him that he would leave Raphael alone. Usagi had promised…._

Somehow in the haze of anger and hatred that had started coursing through his veins, he managed to pull Usagi off him, whimpering at the pain inside as he pulled his legs together, slowly getting to his knees. He could smell the blood that dripped down his thighs.

"Michelangelo, you know better!" Usagi roared angrily, stalking over.  
Mikey wanted to sob, "NO, please, just let him go! I...I won't obey...n..not till he's free..." he said, getting to his feet, wobbling a little.

Usagi's eyes narrowed as he saw the defiance in the azure blue eyes.

"NO Michelangelo this is very simple! He will please me if you do not!" Usagi's voice was low and threatening as he stalked over to the boy, grabbing his arm.

Ue-Suma screamed in terror and Mikey moved faster than he thought possible. He tackled Usagi, slamming him down hard on the cave ground.

He could hear the youth screaming behind him and he knew he had to protect him, every ounce of his being propelling him to save Ue-Suma. He was already defiled but he wouldn't let Usagi touch him!

He fought hard with Usagi drawing energy from an unknown source only crying out as Usagi's paws punched his jaw, his hand pulling on his fur, ripping it out as he flew to the ground.

Usagi was furious with Mikey's disobedience; he had thought threatening Raphael and Ue-Suma would have destroyed the last of this turtles hold of defiance.

Yet it seemed that the more he simply threatened, the more defiant the young turtle got. _Well...that is going to change!_

A growl growing in his throat he got to his feet and walked to a bag on the bed while his eyes kept flicking to the child as he cowered against the wall.

Mikey followed Usagi's eyes and realised he may have pushed his defiance a bit too far.

He drew himself to his feet, wincing at the pain and felt disgusted at the blood dripping down his legs. "Please...I..I'll listen, j..just let him go!" he begged.

Usagi stopped and turned to look at Mikey from his spot at the bed, his eyes burning in anger, watching him eerily.

"Fine my pet, I will show you how important you are to me. I shall release him but for a price. You will please me first!" Usagi said angrily, "and he will watch!"

"No, I'll...I'll do what you want but let him look away, please don't make him watch!" shame building in his gut.

"On your knees!" Usagi demanded, his voice burning with anger.

Mikey flinched at the clear anger in Usagi's voice and knew what was going to happen was going to hurt and humiliate him further but he got to his knees. "Ue-Suma, please...d..don't look...c..close your eyes...c..can you d..do that?"

"Y..yes Michelangelo-san," Ue-Suma choked out painfully, turning away and closing his eyes tightly, he had never been so scared in his entire life but he knew Michelangelo-san was attempting to rescue him.

Mikey tried to swallow down the lump that had formed in his throat as he crawled to Usagi, flinching at the sight of the rabbit's manhood. He recoiled slightly at the sight of the blood, his blood, not wanting to go any further but a small whimper from the side steeled his resolve.

Forcing himself to ignore the disgust at what he was about to do he moved the last few inches and slowly took his abuser into his mouth.

The next seven minutes was torture as his throat and mouth was abused, memories flooding through his mind as he choked down the semen, some splashing from his mouth, leaking out.

As he fought for air once released, his whole body aching and throbbing as his stomach rebelled and tried to regurgitate the contents he had just swallowed.

The thoughts were immediately pushed aside whimpering as he saw Usagi move to Ue-Suma, a knife in his hand.

"Y...you promised," Mikey choked out in fear, hearing Ue-Suma squeal in fear, yanking on the chains around his wrist as he tried to get away.

"I know," Usagi said with a grin, "unlike some Michelangelo I shall keep my word! He shall be released but he doesn't leave unmarked," and his knife cut into the child's cheek, a small thin line.

Blood dripped from the cut while Usagi rubbed a black powder onto the cut, making Ue-Suma scream and cry.

Mikey moved over, "Stop, please!" he begged him, tugging on his arm, "let him go!"

Usagi nodded, pushing a small button on the restraints, watching as they fell from the youth's wrists, "As agreed, you can go now!" and pushed him away.

Ue-Suma nodded, choking his sobs as he ran from the cave, his cries fading away.

Michelangelo closed his eyes, letting the hurried patter of feet away from the cave soothe his mind. _He had saved Ue-Suma and that was all Mikey cared about. He would give himself to Usagi, he would become his pet._

Mikey's head dropped as relished the thought that he would spend the rest of his days living with the fact that he had saved two lives from the hell he would be enduring.

Usagi turned to him, a feral grin on his face as he lifted up the knife, standing in front of him. "Kneel now!"

Mikey knelt; giving into the pain he knew was going to come, pain he would be feeling for the rest of his life.

He eyed the knife, contemplating a way to get free but deep down knowing that he never could, Usagi would always find him, would always own him. He gasped as Usagi pressed the knife to his cheek, yelping as he started to bleed once more.

He tried to pull away but Usagi gripped his head, holding it in place.

Mikey could feel the cold steel dig into his cheek, feeling as it moved smoothly over his flesh, carving something into it. Suddenly Usagi placed the knife down nearby, grabbing a powder as he rubbed it into Mikey's wound.

He gasped as it clotted the bleeding, whimpering in pain as it burned his cheek, falling back as he hit the ground when Usagi pushed him back.

He felt Usagi move between his legs and he silently obeyed the unspoken commands as he opened his legs further. His head lolled to the side, eyes dulled and lifeless hope dwindling as the rabbit's body moved over him.

Usagi moaned as he breached the turtle. For several minutes, Mikey just grunted and gasped with each thrust letting himself be used and owned each movement shattering the hold he had on his mind.

His eyes drifted to the floor of the cave and caught sight of the knife nearby. Mikey turned his gaze to the rabbit atop him, looked into those dark eyes and reached out with his Chi.

_He would never be free while Usagi could move and taunt him, he would always have this hold on him. _

_He could feel it in the darkness that surrounded the rabbit, he could taste it in Usagi's chi …Ue-Suma…. Raphael…. Leonardo… Donatello... none of them would never be safe while Usagi lived..._

As he stared at the knife, a large longing grew in his body, wanting to be free...as he felt Usagi push in again, making him cry out in reflex, he felt his anger and frustration growing. _I want him gone...dead...away...can I? C...Can I stop him?_

Usagi moaned above him, biting his lip as Mikey shuddered in disgust, wanting it all to stop.

Mikey moved! NO MORE!T...This stops...NOW!

His hand reached for the knife that was an arm's length away, hate and fury growing in his body as he knew he needed to act. _No...as long as he lives...h..he could hurt them..._

_Ue-Suma was safe...and now he could attack, he could end all the suffering right now._ The knife was still dripping with his blood as he moved, his body burning as he lifted up the knife angling it to slash right across Usagi's throat.

He watched Usagi's throat tear open, the blood spurting across his face as he fell back. Mikey trembled as he watched Usagi gurgle for air, the blood choking him as he sat there, staring in shock.

_I...I...I killed him..._ he thought bleakly, staring in horror at what he had just done, feeling the blood dripping from his face and plastron as Usagi's blood splashed on him.

The knife fell to the ground, making a loud clattering sound as he sat there, lost in shock. _He was a murderer…_


	44. Traumatized and Shocked

**A/N: Orangebarmy was the genius behind this chapter. Totally helped me out writing it! **

**And send her a BIG THANK YOU! She was the reason I was able to post so quickly these last two chapters!**

**THANKS ORANGEBARMY!**

**Please review if you can!**

**As you can see, I'm focusing on Hidden right now since I've been so inspired to write lately just for this story. I figure since I'm stuck on my other fics, I'll focus one at a time, so Hidden won the toss. **

**Blue Eyes won the next toss, so once Hidden is done, that is the one I'll concentrate on!**

**FYI, after this chapter, the next update will be on the weekend, possibly Monday!**

* * *

**Chapter 44**

**Mixed POV's**

Raph argued with the samurai for several minutes, glancing at the clock when another guard came to talk to the Daimyo. His eyes widened as he realized it had been almost 40 minutes since they saw the orb.

_Somethin' wrong..._

It was only when Raph noticed he could no longer feel the pure fear of his smaller brother that he turned from the rest of the snarling spitting ninja and samurai to look about the room.

_Where's Mikey?_

"Mikey?" he shouted scared eyes roving around the room.

Something in the tone of the red banded turtle stopped Leonardo and Donatello dead in their tracks weapons still poised threateningly.

"Mikey!" Raph sounded thoroughly defeated as he slumped to the floor.

"Raphael?" Ariiliya sounded confused.

"He's gone ta 'im Leo! He's givin' 'imself ta save Ue-Suma. I failed 'im!" Raph lowered his head into his hands.

"We shall find him Raph," Leo's voice sounded hoarse, touching Raph's shoulder in comfort.

"He has gone to him! Then it was a ploy!" Jaxen said furiously, pointing his weapon at the brothers, his paw a spotted black and white, "This was all a mockery and the Daimyo is in on it! We should do this on our planet if we even continue!"

The Daimyo growled as he raised his war staff threateningly to the samurai.

"Usagi has my son; he has threatened to defile my son in order to regain his hold on Michelangelo. That child has gone to your hero to be abused and raped and you have the gall to say that this is a ploy," the Daimyo's voice was low and deep, his eyes glowing a brilliant white.

"Usagi-san would not do that!" General Kaden the brown rabbit stepped forward.

"Yeah what makes you so damn sure?" Raph suddenly spun around fury covering his face.

"I have known Usagi many years and fought by his side…" General Kaden said, "It is why I was chosen to refute these claims that Usagi-san is the culprit!"

"No Kaden, Usagi has harmed Michelangelo...he is guilty," Jeyto said haggardly, "He has admitted this to me but our laws that are in place protect honoured citizens as he. He is my nephew and I believe he has harmed Michelangelo."

"Lies!" spat Kaden, glaring at Jeyto, "they have taken your head and filled it with lies! How can you believe this...filth...over your own nephew!"

Leonardo's eyes widened as he watched, his eyes filling with horror as he realized what and who Jeyto was to Usagi. _That's why he has protected him!_

"You little shithead!" Raph roared out, punching Jeyto hard in the face, "You lied! Mikey said he thought ya were hidin' somethin' big but this is fucked up ya little shit! Ya da god damn piece of filth here!"

Leonardo darted forward, pushing Raphael back from Jeyto, trying to calm the situation down. Raph screamed in anger, wanting to attack but unable to.

"Mikey is my brother, more than tha', he is my egg mate. He wouldn't lie about somethin' like this, DAMNIT …." Raph drew his Sai and threw it hard at the wall, "Ya need ta open your damn eyes!"

Ariiliya rested her hand on Raphael's shoulder trying to use her Chi to calm the aggravated mutant but he shrugged her off, furious and his own Chi was filled with anger and frustration.

Walking to the wall he pulled his Sai out and pointed it at General Kaden, "I'm going ta find my brother and you, bunny-boy, are coming wit me so ya can see with yur own eyes what a sick little fucker yur friend is," Raph growled, glaring at him.

"Raph wait," Leo stood close to him, eyes burning with fear and urgency.

"I gotta find him Leo, I can't fail him again," Raph explained, shaking his head, thinking Leo was going to stop him.

"No I agree, I'm coming with you," Leo explained, grabbing his own swords, stepping away from the Daimyo's guard, wanting to help.

"Me too," Donnie added, gripping his Bo Staff, eager to go into battle. He wanted Usagi dead and gone.

"Maybe you should stay here," Raph replied unsure about giving Usagi more targets. _Mikey's already there...I can't protect them all..._

"Raph…. Mikey's going to need a doctor," Donnie explained simply and sadly, his eyes filled with pain.

For a brief moment, Raph's eyes closed painfully, know it was true. A second later, he opened them again, and nodded at his brothers.

Leading the small group away from April's farmhouse, he led them out of the building and straight into the woods. He could sense what way to go, ducking under bushes and past trees easily, on a set path along hidden trails.

"How are you doing this?" Kaden finally asked from beside Raphael, wondering how the turtle was able to track his brother without any signs on the ground.

"Chi." He said simply, "Me and Mikey have a connection from bein' egg mates. I can find 'im jist about anywhere," Raph explained, pushing a large bush aside, ignoring the small cut he got from it.

Sending out his chi, Raph searched for his sibling, feeling the fear and broken heart of his brother. _I'll find ya Mikey...jist hold on..._

Over it though, something much clearer was closer, a smaller fear and terror that revolved around a small area ahead. Raph hurried towards a row of deep bushes. _Mikey?_

"Ue-Suma?" Raph gasped as he pulled the bush apart, revealing the small boy. _Oh Ue-Suma...so scared..._

The small child screamed in fear as the bush fell apart, his small hands covering his head in protection, "No! P..please, no, don't!" he screamed, scrambling backwards.

"Ue-Suma!" Leo and Donnie both called out, coming close to the boy, trying to calm him down.

Raising his head, Ue-Suma saw the three brothers and threw himself into their arms sobbing painfully, mumbling apologies.

"Leonardo-san," he sobbed, before he was transferred to Leo, who gathered him up in his arms. "Usagi-san has d...done b...bad t...things. You must help M..Michelangelo-san ..h..h..he is hurting him..."

"Ue-Suma, I know this is hard but I need you to tell me where Usagi and Michelangelo-san are?" Leo soothed the child.

Ue-Suma cried for a few moments, trying to stop his shaking as Leonardo checked him for injuries. A few bruises and scrapes was all he found, the biggest being the freshly tattooed cut on his cheek.

"Ue-Suma...shhh..." Leo comforted, "we need your help. Can you point or nod your head?" he asked him.

Ue-Suma nodded, his eyes wide with fear, staring up at Leonardo, his cheek still red and inflamed, blood was drying on his cheek, neck and chest from the cut.

"Did Usagi hurt you?" Leo asked gently.

Ue-Suma touched his cheek, tears welling down his face as he nodded his head, his green eyes filling with fear.

"But he didn't touch you anywhere else?" Leonardo asked fearfully.

Ue-Suma shook his head rapidly, allowing them all to relax in relief.

Then Ue-Suma raised his hand and pointed in the direction of the caves, his voice choked and filled with guilt and pain, "U...Usagi made h...him d...do b...bad things; he just w..wanted to s...save me! It wasn't his fault!" he said earnestly, his green eyes haunted as he glanced back towards the caves, "I...I ran...h...he let me g..go...a..a..and I ran a..away..." and started to sob once more, overcome with guilt and remorse.

"Raph I need to take him back to his father, I need you to bring our brother home," Leo instructed, begging his brother to carry out his task but he needed to assure Ue-Suma's return and was unable to trust General Kaden or his men.

Raph nodded and immediately headed into the trees, Kaden and Donnie hot on his heels.

* * *

**Raph's POV**

Raph led them unerringly to the cave, the fear and disgust growing in intensity as they drew closer to the cave. Raph slowed them down and they crept towards the cave mouth, no sounds reaching their ears.

Walking into the cave Raph crept forward his Sai drawn and ready.

"Oh God Mikey!" he gasped out and plunged into the cave, dropping his Sai's to the ground in a panic as he kneeled beside his brother.

Donnie and Kaden plunged forward only to pull up short in horror, their eyes wide as they took in the scene.

Raph was in front of Mikey gently moving towards him from where he sat on the floor.

General Kaden's eyes drifted over to the only other figure in the cave that was surrounded by blood.

Walking forward he moved until he was stood over Usagi's body, his eyes wide as he took in the bloodied slash across the white fur. _NO! Usagi-san... _A growl erupted from his throat and he spun around drawing his weapon.

"Hamato Michelangelo you are a murderer," he growled approaching the trio of turtles, pulling out his sword in his anger.

Raph glanced over his shoulder and saw the threatening rabbit and stood with his own Sai drawn, crouched low to protect his brother.

"It was self-defense, ya asshole!" he retorted. "Ya heard Ue-Suma! Usagi did bad things ta him."

* * *

**Don's POV**

Donnie ignored Raph and General Kaden as they fought over Mikey innocence, slowly appraising Mikey's injuries instead.

He could tell instantly from the blood down Mikey's legs and that covered his tail that he had been raped again. _Oh Mikey...n...not again..._Donnie forced himself not to think about what the white substance that dripped around his Mikey's mouth, nor the encrusted word that had been carved into his brother's cheek.

What scared him most though was the way Mikey simply sat there, eyes staring at the spot where Usagi lay dead. The blank stare was nothing like he had ever seen before and he genuinely feared for his little brothers mind.

"Mikey?" he asked quietly moving to block the gap between Mikey and Usagi.

Blue eyes blinked slowly and almost like he was coming out of a dream, he turned his gaze on his purple banded brother.

"D...Donnie?" the fracture hoarse noise was nothing like the voice Donnie knew.

"Yeah Mikey, it's me. Can you tell where Usagi hurt you?" Donnie questioned.

"Usagi…." Mikey seemed completely dazed. "Blood….Donnie ….. Ue-Suma…"

"Everyone is safe Mikey, Usagi can't hurt you anymore," Donnie reassured.

The deep angry voices penetrated the thick fog that hazed around Mikey's mind.

Looking up he saw Raphael and a rabbit, a rabbit who had a weapon drawn and was pointing it at Raphael's throat.

* * *

**Mikey's POV **

Michelangelo couldn't see the color of the rabbit's fur, or the uniform he wore instead all he saw was Usagi and he was threatening Raphael.

_No it couldn't happen, not Raphael_. He was past the point of caring about his body and his mind was completely numb to all pain.

"NO!" Mikey nearly screamed pushing both Donnie and Raph aside, shoving his brothers behind him, stumbling towards Kaden.

* * *

**General Kaden's POV**

General Kaden watched wide eyed as Mikey stumbled towards him, falling to his knees before him.

"Please Usagi, I promise, I'll never fight again! Please don't hurt them! I won't fight! I'll belong to you, I'll be your pet! PLEASE! I'll do anything you ask of me, j..just p...please don't hurt them...not my brothers..." Mikey begged.

General Kaden couldn't reply his eyes searching the battered turtle before him, not exactly understanding what is going on. Mikey inched closer until his mouth was only centimeters from Kaden's crotch.

Raph and Don watched in horror, unable to move at the scene before them, horrified at Mikey's actions.

"I'll please you, Usagi, please! I swear, I won't beg and I won't fight…" Mikey babbled eyes staring up at Kaden.

"Michelangelo…" Kaden began.

"I'll be a good little pet; you won't have to force me anymore. I'll be good, I'll service you...You are my master! I'll be your plaything! Just please leave my brothers alone," Michelangelo babbled out urgently.

Kaden's breath hitched as Mikey leaned forward and swiped his tongue over the clothed crotch once more, gripping his hips, trying to prove his worth.

"I'll please you master, just ask and I'll prove it. I'll be a good pet," Michelangelo begged, licking the crotch once more, causing Kaden to jump and reached out to stop him as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Answer me just one thing Michelangelo and I want you to answer honestly," Kaden finally cleared his throat, uncomfortable and fearful he had been wrong but as he watched the young turtle, he knew he had been.

Michelangelo spoke, his eyes earnest but filled with pain and slightly glazed, "Anything just please... don't hurt them! Don't hurt my brothers...please!"

"Did Usagi…..did I force you into sexual relations? Did I rape you?" Kaden swallowed hard, his head ducking slightly as he wanted to refute it.

"Yes master...y..you r..raped me. I didn't want it….it hurt so much..b...but you won't have to force me again! I swear I'll be good," Mikey sounded on the verge of full blown panic, "I'll be good, I'll obey. I'll be your pet. Please...just don't hurt them anymore. Don't hurt Ue-Suma, don't hurt my family.."

"Michelangelo, my name is General Kaden...I am not Usagi," Kaden said gently, stepping back as Mikey made another attempt to lick him.

* * *

**Mikey's POV**

Mikey froze, trying to comprehend what he just said, staring at him blankly. It took him a few moments before he realized what he had said. Mikey blinked up at the brown rabbit before looking around the room.

His gaze fleeting over his siblings until they rested on the dead white rabbit, terror filling his eyes as saw the body, scrambling back slightly, his eyes darting to the knife that had cut him.

His hand reached up to touch his cheek, his blue eyes filled with horror as he spoke, "I...I killed him," Mikey whispered in a choked voice, "I killed him, I …. I …."

Raph stepped forward and slowly pulled Mikey to his feet by his arm, concerned about his little brother. His brother looked scared and confused blue eyes wide with panic as he stared at Raph.

"Raphie, I … I … Usagi … Ue-Suma I had too …. I let him…won't let him hurt you," Mikey started to mumble quickly, his body trembling as he clutched Raph's arm in a tight grip.

"Mikey," Raph cupped his little brother's face, trying to get him to focus on him.

Their eyes met and Raph reached out his Chi, melding with Mikey's fractured Chi, trying to draw the young turtle out. A small tear streaked down the sea green cheek only to be thumbed away by an emerald green thumb.

"It's gonna be okay Mike, ya ain't alone and I'm r'ght 'ere. I ain't gonna leave ya! I swear!" Raph said, trying to reassure his eggmate.

"I..I let him, I let him take me again... He...he...asked if you'd beg and cry. He wanted to know if you'd scream as he tore you. There was someone else, he took them and imagined they were me," Mikey whispered, confusion filling his eyes as he glanced around, looking as if he was seeing something completely different.

Donnie's eyes widened in fear for his brother's mind at seeing the blankness in his eyes. _I...I think this took him over the top...he...he's not really...seeing us..._

Donnie frowned, stepping forward, wanting to help when Mikey tensed in Raph's arms, glancing toward him in horror. Don bit his lip when he saw Mikey's hand clutch Raph's arm in a tight bruising grip.

Raph winced at the grip on his arm, ignoring it for the moment as he tried to call his brother's name, "Mikey...it's gonna be okay..."

"N...no...h..he took Ue-Suma because of me. I had to Raph; if I go to him, he'll stop Raphie... If I go to him, he'll stop," Mikey babbled, tears rolling down his cheeks as he tried to tell Raph his betrayal, "I...I went...I...I went...I'm sorry.."

Raph felt his own panic rising as Mikey began to push his emotions outwards. The blue eyes were wide and glazed and his breathing was coming in sharp gasps.

_**Shame...pain...guilt...betrayal...**_

"Mikey ya need ta listen to me! Your panickin'. Usagi can't hurt ya no more! He's dead," Raph tried to reach through the pain that he could feel from Mikey as it pulsating through him.

"What is that?" Kaden gasped as he felt it, unbelievable shame and guilt flowing through his body, pain engulfing his soul as it felt trampled and torn, ghost pain pulsating near him.

"That is what Usagi did to him, he is reliving it," Donnie moaned dropping to his knees, "Michelangelo..i..is a Empath...but...that...w..was wrecked..."

Kaden winced as he finally collapsed, hitting his knees on the cave ground painfully as shame and guilt overcame him.

"Mikey focus, come on... I need ya ta focus on me," Raph panted out loudly, grimacing through the pain, "Y...ya...gotta...p..put ya shields...up..."

"I can feel him, he's inside me," Mikey suddenly said, his voice broken.

"No Mikey he's dead," Raph kept tight hold on his brother. _He was losing him._

"No...no... he's marking me," Mikey mumbled, a hand on his cheek.

"Mikey he ain't here," Raph tried to assure him but he could see he wasn't getting through.

"I can feel it, it's inside me," Mikey gasped loudly, his body arching slightly, tensing in place.

Raph looked completely confused as Mikey suddenly groaned loudly and shivered, trembling hard against Raph's hands.

"I can feel it," the youngest whispered again.

Then they all heard what had sounded like a rush of air echo the cave and Mikey crying out loudly in pain.

* * *

**Everyone's POV**

Raph clasped him tightly as Mikey's legs suddenly buckled. Raph helped him lay down, gasping in shock at what he was seeing.

"He's haemorrhaging!" Donnie cried out in alarm as he saw the gush of blood now pooling around Mikey, instantly at Mikey's side.

"What does that mean?" Kaden questioned, beside them too, watching with wide eyes.

Donnie didn't reply but simply stepped aside.

Kaden's eyes opened as he saw the blood as it flowed down Mikey's legs, thick blood clots oozing out from under the sea green tail.

"Usagi tore him," Donnie grabbed his bag, his hand searching through it.

Lowering Mikey down onto the ground, Raph held his brother close while watching as Donnie pulled Mikey's legs apart, hearing a whimper from Mikey's lips.

"Oh God Mikey," Donnie gasped as he saw the damage in full view, the tail exposing the damage as he recoiled in horror. He had not been there before when Ariiliya healed the previous damage but this was horrifying.

Feeling the brush of fur on his shell behind him, he snapped in anger, recalling Kaden saying Usagi would never harm his little brother!

Snarling, he turned to Kaden with blood covered hands, grabbing the brown rabbit and pulled him down.

"Look Kaden, look at what Usagi did to him. Is this just a ploy? Did he ask for this?" Donnie snarled pushing the rabbit down so he could see.

Wide eyed he took in the damage, the tears and ripped muscle the blood which continually oozed out in thick congealing clots.

"T...that...w..was what.. U.. Usagi did?" he said weakly, his voice weak and wobbly as he stumbled back from Donatello's shove.

Shoving the rabbit harshly, Donnie grabbed as much gauze as he had in his bag and pressed it against Mikey's entrance. In his unconscious state Mikey groaned and feebly thrashed, "nnoooo," a small cry filled the cave before it faded away.

"He needs the healers," Donnie instructed Raph, wrapping up a blanket that he had made sure to bring.

"Then we need ta move," Raph said, helping Don cover Mikey up before he gently scooped Mikey up and held him to his chest before he set off at the quickest pace he dared.

The house came into sight quickly within 15 minutes, usually it took them 45 but he ran the entire way. Raph burst through the door, "Ariiliya!" he bellowed.

The healer appeared and gasped in shock at the state of the young turtle.

"Bring him forth!" she instructed directing Raph to their room, quickly stopping the rabbits that tried to push past.

"We will see that turtle Healer Ariiliya! We have the right to question him!" the rabbits insisted, shoving her aside, reaching for the turtle just passing.

"You will stand down," General Kaden instructed from the doorway, his eyes flashing with anger.

"General?" they questioned, now confused, stepping back. Raphael quickly stepped into the room, placing Mikey on the nearby bed.

* * *

**General Kaden's POV**

Meanwhile, General Kaden spoke, "Usagi dishonored our clan. He dishonored and abused that child and we will not enforce that humiliation further," the General explained, shaking his head with disgust.

"General? How...how can this be? They never proved a thing!" one soldier named Trey spoke angrily.

"The accusations are founded; I have seen the evidence with my own eyes."

"And Usagi?"

"Justice has been served. Michelangelo claimed right of life and I granted him permission," Kaden answered.

"That is not how our justice system works," one of the rabbits with light golden fur, demanded, sounding angry and furious. He was a clan kinsman to Usagi, having being raised by the rabbit for a few years during training.

"Is it not Gavion? Tell me, when did our justice system allow a rapist free multiple times, to perpetually abuse his victim? When did our justice system condemn a child to relive his nightmares in front of others? When did our justice system force his humiliation to be publicly sought and revealed?" Kaden retorted.

The whole group stopped and stared at Kaden who spoke tiredly, "I had seen Michelangelo at his worse, broken...bleeding heavily from damage Usagi had caused him. I had even seen him begging me...thinking that I was Usagi himself...and that is a heavy thing to swallow," recalling Michelangelo's attempt to please him.

There was silence for a moment as the Daimyo and his youngest rushed by before they were alone again.

General Kaden spoke once more, looking at all his men, "This case is closed. Compensation will be issued and whatever help that can be proved to Michelangelo-san and Ue-Suma-san will be given. Usagi's name shall be purged for our documents and all trace of his supposed heroism erased."

"Yes General..." they said, some angrily as they obeyed his commands.

"We leave within the hour and will meet with you later to consider compensations when I learn of all the damage that Usagi-san had caused Michelangelo. Gather our people and take our tents down. Now," he ordered.

His men disappeared and he stood there, glancing at the spot of blood on his arm where Donatello had grabbed him. _I believe now..._

* * *

In the room Ariiliya used as a medical room, Leo and Donnie stood there, exchanging worried glances as they watched Ariiliya work on Michelangelo.

"Ariiliya?" Donnie sounded shaky as he took in Raph's defeated form.

"He shall live, but some wounds shall never heal," Ariiliya stated simply, her face dejected and morose as she held a towel, wiping the blood from her pale hands.


	45. Confusion

Thanks OrangeBarmy for helping me out once again!

* * *

Chapter 45

Leo's POV

"Leonardo-san...how is he?" Kaden asked softly, trying not to upset the distraught turtle as he left Michelangelo's room, approaching him quietly.

Leo didn't even look his way as his hand darted out, grasping Kaden's throat, squeezing it in his fury.

Kaden gasped, his paws on Leonardo's hand, trying to loosen the iron clad grip that Leonardo had on his throat, gasping for air.

Leo's eyes were dark, filled with fury and a dark bleakness that shone as he looked at Kaden, "You will leave my planet. You and all your filth will leave now and if you come back, I will kill you all!"

Kaden felt his heart lurch in fear at seeing the intent to kill him in the usual calming exterior he had learned Leonardo has been since he arrived. He felt his body weakening as he tried to focus but dark spots appeared in front of his eyes.

"Do you understand me Kaden?" Leonardo asked, shaking him roughly in his tight grasp, ignoring the gurgling from his mouth.

Kaden tried to nod his head but was unable to, his eyes finally starting to close due to the lack of oxygen when all of a sudden, he could inhale. Precious air hit his lungs and he was able to breathe in.

When he finally opened his eyes, he saw Leonardo above him, a sword in his hand that was pressed against his throat. _He didn't dare move, knowing that if he did, that sharp sword would cut his throat open. He knew this from Usagi himself who talked about how skilled Leonardo was with a sword._

"I am going to tell you only once," Leonardo said, glaring down at him, his whole body tense with fury as he pressed the sword a little heavier against his throat, "I will kill you all if you even dare try to return. I will do what I have to Kaden, to protect my brother from the likes of your kind."

Kaden gulped, feeling the cool steel cut his throat slightly as Leo spoke again, stepping forward, eyes flashing with anger, "If that means I have to kill every last male on your planet for daring to believe in Usagi," he said scathingly, "Then so be it! I will kill every last one of you!"

Kaden truly felt that Leonardo was telling the truth and he felt his stomach clench with fear. "I...I understand Leonardo-san...I am leaving right this moment...and will contact a liaison through the Battle Nexxus to handle our business so no one from my planet will interfere w..with you or your brother anymore."

"Do that!" Leo said, pulling the sword back and away, a simple flick of his wrist and it flashed upwards, "and get the shell off my world and away from my family!" he said as he stepped back, allowing Kaden to scrambled to his feet and run out the door.

Leonardo walked to the livingroom where April and Casey stood with the Daimyo and Ue-Suma. He hated having to kick them out when Ariiliya was about to explain about Michelangelo's injuries but he knew it was a moment for only the four of them to experience.

"Leonardo!" Ue-Suma cried out, running to him, wrapping his small arms around the larger turtle. He had developed a strong liking to Leonardo from being rescued by him, both times.

"Ue-Suma, I am glad you are alright," Leonardo said warmly, picking him up and allowing him to melt in his arms as he walked over to a seat on the armchair opposite the Daimyo. "He is alright, isn't he Daimyo?" Leo asked, touching the tattoo still on his face.

"He is bruised and his head aches, Leonardo. Other than the tattoo that filth put on my sons face, he is uninjured," the Daimyo replied, smiling gently at his young son.

"The Healers couldn't remove it either?" Leo asked him, his eyes saddened as he touched the mark.

"No. Healer Ariiliya looked him over and informed me that the tattoo had been imbedded in his skin for too long for anyone to be able to take it off lest they cut a part of the cheek off," the Daimyo explained sadly, "but the mark was deep and would leave a deep and lasting scar which may cause lasting damage."

There was silence in the room as they waited for Leonardo to speak.

Finally, the Daimyo took action and said, "How is Michelangelo?"

Leo kept silent his face a mask of sadness as he stared at the floor, thinking about what to say and how to say it.

The Daimyo replied sadly, "If there is anything I can do, please ask. I shall do my best to arrange it as I owe Michelangelo everything I have."

Leonardo continued to keep quiet, still processing what he had been told thirty minutes earlier and Raph's breakdown at the results. He glanced up at his friends and the Daimyo, before glancing down at Ue-Suma. His heart ached as he saw the innocence that still lied in those eyes, grateful it was there but wishing Mikey still had that light in his eyes.

"Mikey will live..." Leo said slowly, "and recover...physically for the most part...but some wounds...will never heal..."

There was silence for few moments before Leonardo started to speak once again, looking pained as he explained, "Ariiliya said Mikey is in a catatonic state and his injuries were really bad but I don't want to discuss this in front of Ue-suma. He has been through much."

The Daimyo's hands tightened as he clasped them together on his war staff, smiling painfully down at the youngster in Leonardo's arms. The War Staff Wielder was grateful that Leonardo did not wish to expose his son to further violence and information he was too young to be exposed to.

Leonardo felt Ue-Suma shaking his arm, looking up at him with wide eyes. "Yes Ue-Suma?"

"Leonardo-san," Ue-Suma interrupted, "I...h..have to know...t..those things that...that U..Usagi did... to Michelangelo...what...what he wanted me to do...I...I do not understand..." he said, puzzled as his eyes filled with tears, "W...why...why did he keep d...doing that!? Michelangelo did not want to but he did...he did...t..to save me and Raphael-san...w..why?" before he burst into tears.

Leonardo looked choked up but he held Ue-Suma tightly, trying to stay brave and calm. _He didn't want to have this conversation with the small child but knew at the same time he would have questions about what happened that needed answered by the people who cared about him._

He managed to keep the quiver out of his voice as he spoke, "U...Usagi...wanted to control Mikey...and...he did...by using you. You need to remember Ue-Suma...Mikey knew what Usagi wanted..."Leo's voice choked as he continued, "Mikey made the choice to allow Usagi to do those things. He wanted to protect you."

"B...but...it...hurt...and he cried...and screamed..." Ue-Suma said, his green eyes haunted with memories, "Why...why did Michelangelo-san do that for me? Why did he w...want to..s..save me? H...he already so hurt!"

Leo smiled sadly, "Ue-Suma, Mikey loves you and would so anything to protect you. He doesn't wish for that light that remains in your eyes fade as it did to him."

"He is really a Champion..." Ue-Suma said with such feeling and emotion, it made them all smile at his thankfully still childish innocence, "A hero..."

Leonardo smiled at his words, his eyes filling with his own tears as he hugged Ue-Suma tightly, shoulders shaking.

"Daimyo, maybe you should bring Ue-Suma home for some rest while we discuss some things," April said as she saw the struggle in Leonardo's eyes to keep being strong.

"Yes, I believe that will be acceptable right now. I must bring my son home," the Daimyo said, standing as he walked over, picking him up from Leonardo's arms, "I will return Leonardo. You do not have to do this alone."

"I understand Daimyo," Leonardo said standing up, "Thank you for your help and support," he said with a wavering voice, "I...I shall see you again soon Ue-Suma...I promise."

"With Michelangelo?" Ue-Suma asked worriedly.

"Y..yes...M..Michelangelo w..will be there..." Leonardo said, a tear slipping down his face as he choked out a goodbye.

The Daimyo frowned at the obvious struggle but could sense Leonardo was about to break down. He raised his war staff and a bright light engulfed the room and then the Daimyo and Ue-Suma disappeared in a blue glow of light.

Leonardo fell to his knees, drawing them close as he finally broke down and started to sob.

"LEO!" April and Casey cried out, confused and terrified at his actions, "What happened to Mikey?"

"A...Ariiliya said...t..that Mikey..c..can't...can't cope. H...he is in a self-induced catatonic state... unresponsive..." Leo said, clutching his knees.

"Will he recover?" April asked gently.

Leo said in a choked voice, "M...Mikey couldn't have kids...w...we all have the ability...t..the Daimyo told us...t..that there was a chance...and if we found mates...we..could...b..but Mikey lost that...he lost everything!" he said as he cried in April's arms.

April held him tightly, tears rolling down her pale face as she realized how distraught Leonardo was. She mouthed to Casey 'Go check on Raph' while she comforted Leo.

"I...I can't April...I...I don't know what to do!" Leo said, looking up at her, his eyes dark and beseeching for answers, "H...how do I help him!? How...how do I heal him all over again! W...We were so close...a...and now...h..he's like...it's like he's already dead!" and he broke down even more.

April held him, thinking about what to say before she realized she was humming lightly, sensing he was calming with the sounds. She continued to hum while Leo cried on her shoulders. She sat down, crossing her legs before she pulled Leonardo into her lap, allowing him to wrap his arms around her waist as she continued to hold him.

_For the first time in a long time she was reminded at how young the turtles still were and how much they now had to endure on their own. They would of course always have her and Casey but she knew there was some details they would never know and these were the details the turtles would have to burden on their own._

It was a few moments of silence when Leo whispered brokenly, "How...how do I fix a broken mind April...h...how do I bring Mikey back...when I don't even know how to be a dad like Splinter or even guide them? Mikey can't have kids, he lost his arm, his...his innocence...and his trust in everyone...God..April...he even lost his mind...I...I can't...I can't help...him..."

April hugged him once more as she found the words she wanted to say, "You may not believe what I am saying Leo but you are a wonderful father and an excellent provider. You have tried to remain strong for your brothers and it seems like you are doing a good job," but Leonardo tensed in her arms, his voice crying out, "B..but April!"

"Hush, I am not done," April said gently, pressing a slim finger to his lips, "You are young and inexperienced. You were never a father but a brother for so many years. When you became their Leader, you became a Father figure to them. You did an excellent job. Now mistakes happen. Sometimes people make bad judgement calls and someone ends up being hurt."

"But it was Mikey that was hurt! And it's my fault!" Leo wailed out, his shoulders starting to shake, "It's my fault 'cause Usagi was my friend!" as the tears fell down his cheeks.

"No Leo. It wasn't your fault. It was never your fault, or your brothers or even your fathers. The fault lies with Usagi," April said firmly, "We didn't know and we can feel guilty for that but it was Usagi who hurt Mikey. It was Usagi who made the choice to abuse him. Not you!"

"But...why do I feel so guilty?" Leo cried.

"You've always thought that it is your duty to protect your brothers especially Mikey as he is your youngest brother but it isn't and wasn't your fault. Because you wish you had been able to prevent it and since you couldn't, you feel guilty! April explained, "That is normal sweetie."

"It is?" Leo asked with a confused look.

"Yes Leo, it is! I feel guilty as well. I thought I should have seen it. I knew abuse like that could happen but I never thought once it could happen to you guys. Leo...we all feel guilty but the only thing we need to do now is support each other and help Mikey through this," April said worriedly, "He is the one who was victimized and he needs us."

"But...what if we can't help?" Leo asked.

"We won't know until we try Leo...and if we don't help him now, then he will never heal. It will take time...a long time...before he will get to the point where this won't be affecting him," April admitted, "but we brought him back once before and we can do it again."

"Yes...we can," Leo whispered, wiping his cheeks dry of his tears, "We need him so much...I hope we can bring him back..."

* * *

Casey's POV

Casey sighed, brushing his long black hair back nervously as he approached the doorway to Mikey's room. He wanted to support his friends, especially Raph knowing that the emerald green turtle would be struggling with his emotions right now but his heart felt like it was trying to beat its way out of his chest. He tapped on it, waiting for an answer.

The door opened and Donnie stood there, looking upset and tired, "Hey Donnie..."

"Hey Casey..." Donnie said, stepping back and letting him in, "Come...Mikey and Raph are this way."

Casey stepped in, "Leo...said...that Mikey was messed up...w...what's wrong wit him?"

Donnie looked shaky and pale, his hand shook as he covered his eyes, "He... lost a lot of blood..." he said, his voice wavering, "H...he hasn't woken up yet..."

"Hey Case," Raph called over, looking haggard and drawn.

Casey walked over to him, a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry man..." he stated simply unsure what else to say.

"Thanks..." Raph said with a sigh, his hand on Mikey's hand, holding it tightly.

"Is he gonna be a'right?" Casey asked worriedly as he saw Mikey on the bed.

He was extremely pale, his skin almost white green and he was covered with bruises and marks. His cheek was covered with a bandage as well, "what's wit da bandage on his face?"

"Ya saw Ue-Suma?" Raph asked him first.

"Yeah, he and da Daimyo left...why?" Casey asked curiously, sitting in a nearby chair.

"T...tha' filth...carved inta Mikey's cheek Case..." Raph explained, touching the bandage lightly, "it's a word… a bad 'un… and he ain't gonna like it cause Ariiliya couldn't git it off."

"Why not?" Casey asked confused, "I wuz gonna tell the Daimyo tha' ya can git rid of tattoos usin' a laser...couldn't ya do da same thin'?"

Donnie shook his head, "On Ue-Suma...possibly but there could be damage done. Usagi carved really deeply into Mikey's cheek...he wanted it to mark Mikey forever … and the chances of it coming off is slim. I don't think it can come off..." Donnie explained, "There is something preventing anything from tampering with it."

"How about covered up?" Casey suggested, "Ya can git a tattoo gun and write over it...change it dat way so ya can cover it."

Donnie's eyes brightened for a minute, "That may work...I...need to research it...but that might be doable if we can somehow stop the tattoo from reaction to outside sources..."

"Outside sources?" Casey asked confused.

"Ariiliya tried putting a salve on it but the powder that Usagi put on it seem to burn up and it hurt him," Donnie explained.

"Oh...well...I'll git ya dat info of tattoo guns and its inks...okay?" Casey said with a grim look.

Raph felt a tear slip down his cheek, when Ariiliya had explained what the symbol meant he had wanted to go back into that cave and rip Usagi's corpse apart but now Casey had given him a little hope.

He managed to choked out, "Thanks Casey...ya don't know how much tha' means ta us..."

Casey shrugged, "It's not a big deal...but I'm glad ta help."

A few days passed as Mikey screamed in fear and terror each time he seem to wake up, only to fall back unconscious when his body quickly gave out to exhaustion and fever.

* * *

On the 5th day of the coma, Mikey was laying on his bed, tossing and turning, mumbling in his delirium but wasn't awakening. His brothers were all around him, talking to him, trying to get him to wake up but he seemed to be trapped this time.

"When is he gonna wake da fuck up?" Raph roared out angrily wanting desperately to see those azure blue eyes open and have some life in them.

"I do not know Raphael but please be calm. It does no one any good for your anger to be expressed to violently around him, he is still attuned to your emotions," Ariiliya said gently, trying to soothe him.

"Yeah? Well...screw that!" Raph snarled out angrily, "dis is stupid! He needs ta wake up!"

"Raph, just calm down. We all want him to wake up," Donnie said, trying to soothe his brother.

**Mikey's POV**

"_No...please...leave them alone...I'm yours...can't you see I'm yours...please... I don't belong to anyone but you...take me..." Mikey thought as he knelt in front of Usagi, tears rolling down his cheeks as begged Usagi who held his brother Raph in his arms. _

"_No, you disobeyed me...now HE belongs to me," Usagi said with a smirk, stepping back, "You are nothing...nothing but garbage...I warned you Michelangelo, I warned you what would happen…"_

"_NO!" Mikey cried out, attacking Usagi, his arm pinning him to the ground as he sat on top of him, "NO, take me! I'm nothing but he is everything! He is pure to me! PLEASE USAGI! TAKE ME! FUCK ME! Choke me, beat me, whip me...do anything you want! I'll beg, plead...or obey your every command!"_

_Usagi rolled, causing Mikey to be pinned underneath him, causing him to whimper. Furry hands clasped around the sea green neck and slowly began to tighten. Blue eyes opened wide in fear as he tried to pull himself free._

"_I warned you Michelangelo you are mine. You belong to me to mark, beat and fuck to my hearts content," Usagi hissed._

_Weak legs began kicking out as his lungs started begging for air and his fingers dug into Usagi's arm._

"_You will obey me in everything or I will bend Raphael over, lift his tail and make him bleed like you never did."_

"_No …. I swear … Usagi … take me … no don't … hurt Raph," Mikey managed to gasp._

"_I own you Michelangelo?" Usagi's face was close to Mikey's beak._

"_Yes," Mikey fought his own bodies inclination and stopped struggling his only arm hitting the ground hard._

"_Your life is mine?" the fingers tightened even harder beginning to crush Mikey's throat._

"_Yes," the choking mutant could only mouth the word._

"_To end if I choose?"_

Mikey's sight began to black out as his body screamed for oxygen and all that the young turtle could think about is how he deserved all of this and yet how finally his suffering would finally be over…

* * *

Raph shot up out of his chair and was over to Mikey's side the instant the strange sound came from his brothers throat.

Almost as soon as he reached his brothers side and rested his hand on Mikey's shoulder, the blue eyes flew open and his mouth opened and closed as he tried to draw breath.

"Ariiliya!" Donnie's voice reverberated around the house.

"Mikey wake up!" Raph begged taking Mikey by the shoulder and shaking his brother.

The noises of someone being choked filled the room scaring the turtles like they had never been scared before. Mikey's hand came up to his throat and clawed at some unseen assailant who was choking him.

"Mikey please you have to listen to us," Leo came to Mikey's other side.

"Come on bro, you're safe," Raph's voice quivered as he attempted to take Mikey's hand.

"You have to breathe Mikey, come on take a deep breath!"

"Focus on me Mikey, please listen to me, you gotta focus," Raph found himself starting to hyperventilating in turn.

Raph's eyes widened in fear as Mikey's hand went limp and his eyes started rolling back in his head and he mouth the single word "yes".

"Mikey come on don't you fucking dare," Raph nearly screamed at his little brother.

The door slammed open and Ariilya rushed into the room followed quickly by Casey and April.

"He can't breathe!" Leo explained frantically.

"He's awake but can't focus on us," Raph's eyes were wild.

Ariiliya rushed to Mikey's head and placed her hand upon his head trying to guide the young turtles chi back towards his fully conscious state.

"He is already awake," Ariiliya explained frowning down at the turtle.

"Come on Mikey ya gotta breath!" Raph practically begged as his brothers eyes rolled back in his head.

"Outta ma way," Casey strode forward.

Pushing both Raph and Leo out of his way Casey grabbed Mikey by the shoulder. Pulling his gasping friend up he drew his hand back before he smacked it across Mikey's face.

Raph reacted almost instantly his hands closing around the Casey's shirt and he wrenched the man away from his brother, a low snarl erupting from his throat.

"What the fu…."

Raph never got to finish his sentence as behind him Mikey let out a loud whoop and sucked in a lung full of air. Releasing Casey he turned straight back to his brother who was lying back on his carapace eyes wide and staring as he continue to suck as much air in as he could.

"Mikey?" Raph sighed deeply as he took Mikey's hand.

The young turtle shuddered and turned his eyes to Raph, his mouth still hanging open. Fear slowly settled even as Raph watched and then they darted about the room searching for his enemy.

"He's gone Mikey," Raph explained gently although his anger bubbled inside him.

Mikey pushed up weakly off the bed his eyes darting around the room seeking out his master but only finding his brothers, Ariiliya, April and Casey.

Sitting up properly his fingers immediately went to his cheek feeling the bandage that covered his scarred cheek.

"Where's Master, he'll be angry if I don't…." Mikey began to rasp out, his blue eyes in a fog.

"Damn it Mikey that scum ain't ya master," Raph couldn't keep the snarl from his voice.

The smaller turtle whimpered and pulled away from his brother, trembling in fear.

"I should go find him, Master will want me to please him," Mikey whispered.

Raph could only watched mouth open as Mikey stumbled from the bed, his muscles quivering as they attempted to hold him up. He reached out to stop him but Ariiliya restrained him shaking her head. Instead Raph followed his brother as the youngest stumbles out of the room his eyes darting constantly as he searched for his master.

"Mikey Usagi is gone, he ain't coming back and he won't hurt ya," Raph explained slowly, hoping to get through to his traumatized brother.

"I have to please Master, I swore," Mikey replied, his eyes wide with fear.

"He's dead Mikey you don't have to please him," Raph decided enough was enough as he reached out, he took Mikey by the shoulders and turned his brother around.

Shocked by the vacant look in his brothers eyes, Raph moved his hands to cup his little brothers face, "Mikey...can ya understand...I'm 'ight here."

"I have to you don't understand. I promised him I gave him my word, I can't break my word. He's my Master now, I obey my Master now," Mikey's voice drifted as he spoke, getting a little frantic and agitated.

"I don't get it Mikey, he's gone and he's dead. I saw his body myself he can't ever hurt you again." Raph said, trying to get through to him, to wrap his Chi with him but frown at the barrier between them.

"Raphie?" Mikey suddenly sounded shocked blinking his eyes quickly.

"I'm here Mikey," Raph managed to keep his voice level, hopeful.

"I had to save you," Mikey whispered a moment of sanity flashing across his eyes.

Even as Raph watched Mikey blinked and the vacant look was back his eyes.

"Where's Master?" he asked off in his little world once more.

Raph didn't respond as Mikey pulled himself out of Raph's grasp and began to stumble about the room again.

"Ariiliya?" he asked as she came to stand beside him.

"Michelangelo is lost in his mind; he has locked himself away in order to protect himself. He cannot discern between reality and the fake world he is living in his mind. He is trusting and needing you to find him and bring him back safely," Ariiliya explained sadly, knowing that the last incident hurt her young friend.

All eyes turned to Michelangelo who was staring at the stairs and trying to draw up the energy to climb them in his search for his master. Raph silently moved to his brothers side and took his hand drawing him away from the stairway and back into the room.

"Come on Mikey we need to talk," Raph explained.

The others could only watch as Raph led Mikey back into the room and shut the door behind him. None of them made any attempt to follow them knowing Raph needed a few minutes alone with his twin.


	46. Connecting

Hidden Betrayals

Chapter 46

Raph sat Mikey down on the bed, worried and upset at his vacant eyes.

"Mike, can ya like...hear me?" Raph asked slowly, placing a hand on his arm.

Mikey quickly glanced up at Raphael, "Where is Master? I must please Master..." he said, his voice in a whispered hoarse.

"Yur Master ain't here Mikey...he's dead..." Raph said, trying to get through to his brother.

"No...Master...he still here. Must please him...have to...he is my Master...he owns me...body and soul...I gave me to him...where is Master?" Mikey said, eyes darting around in a slight panic.

Raph bit back a growl at the words, wanting to lash out but he said firmly, shaking Mikey slightly, "Yur Master Usagi is dead and gone Mikey! He ain't here ta order you around. Don't ya get it!? Yur free!"

"NOOOO," Mikey said, his eyes widening in fear, pulling in all his anger and fear, "Your lying! Master isn't dead! It is a trick!"

Raph felt his heart clenched at the words, "No Mikey, I'm tellin' ya da truth."

Mikey stared at him, his vacant eyes lost in his gaze before he slowly shook his head, "No...Master...Master isn't dead...if Master...is dead...I...I must go..."

"Go where Mike? What da hell ya thinkin'?" Raph asked as he pushed Mikey to the nearby bed, cringing as Mikey winced in pain at the movements.

"I...am a concubine...h..his...Master's...pet..." Mikey said, his nose wrinkling in distaste as his eyes shimmered slightly with pain.

Raph saw the pain reflect in Mikey's eyes, hope grew as he quickly said, "You don't wanna be 'is pet."

"I..I am his...Master...Where is Master? I need Master! Must save Raphie. Must save Ue-Suma...not them..." Mikey babbled, closing his eyes as he shivered on the bed before they opened, looking more lost then before.

Raph growled in frustration, trying to think of some way to help his little brother but he wasn't sure what to do. _How could he get Mikey ta see it was all in his head..._

_In his head! That's it!_ Raph thought as he stepped forward, wondering if he could do the same thing Mikey did when he shared his memories with him.

"Mikey, look, this ain't real...Usagi is dead...heck...you even killed him.." Raph said slowly, stepping forward.

He winced when he saw Mikey flinch backwards before his face drained of color, "I...I what?"

"You killed Usagi...he isn't your Master Mike. Yur free of 'im," Raph explained.

"N...no...y..you ...l..lying...y..your LYING!" Mikey cried out, backing up, looking horrified as his mind tried to comprehend what Raph just said.

"Mike," Raph started again before he cried out in pain as Mikey screamed out, "NO! YOUR LYING!" and a wave of pain, betrayal and anger bounced through the room. Raph grunted when he felt it but he was glad he did. _That means he still has control of his empathy...tha's good...jist gotta figure out how ta git him ta see..._

"Mikey, listen to me, I ain't lying. Look...you know how to tell...just touch my hand...you can see it..." Raph said calmly, "I'm tellin' ya da truth...ya jist gotta see it..."

Mikey shook his head, still in a whirlwind, "Noooo...g..gotta find Master...need Master..."

Raph growled angrily, shaking his head as a headache started to form, wanting to lash out and force Mikey to get with it.

"Fine...you need to stay in here...I'll...I'll find Master..." Raph said, "I'm locking you in Mikey, okay? I don't want you to go anywhere."

"I pet...I pet...lock me up...that's good, I'll be good," Mikey babbled in the corner.

Raph stared at his little brother, wondering how to help him. He knew he needed to get him to talk to him but he couldn't yet. He bit his lip as he thought, standing there as he stared at Mikey, worry growing in his gut.

"Mike...do ya know who I am?" Raph asked slowly, waiting for an answer.

Mikey's eyes widened, "N..no...I...I thought...y..you were caretaker...y...you...are...t...the one who makes sure...p...pet is ready for Master..." he stammered out, getting upset.

"NO! I'm Raph..." Raph said hurriedly, stepping over and touching his shoulder, "I'm your brother Raph...can't ya feel me?"

As he touched his brothers shoulder, he could sense a barrier between his brother and him and it made his gut clench with fear and worry. _Was their bond in jeopardy?_

"Raphie is safe...I'll be good pet...Where is Master..." Mikey said again, his eyes still holding that vacant look.

Raph's heart raced as he reached out, shaking Mikey quickly, "Mikey, it's Raph! Can't ya see me?"

Mikey's eyes shimmered for a second as he stared up at Raph, focusing for a moment, a whispered, "Raph...I'm sorry..." before the vacant look returned, "Where's Master!? I need to please Master..."

Raph couldn't believe it. _He...really...doesn't know I'm right here..._

"I...I need to think...I...I'll be 'ight back," Raph mumbled, letting his little brother go. He stood up, trying once more to connect to Mikey's energy only to feel it bounce back, being rejected. Tears built in his eyes as he realized just how broken his little brother was.

He quickly left the room, locking it behind him before he slid to the ground and starting to cry. He could hear his other brothers and Ariiliya around him, hands on his shoulders as they tried to get his attention but Raph ignored them all.

He sat there for 10 minutes crying before he finally calmed down. He suddenly smelled hot coffee in front of him, a cup hovering before him and he grasped it, chugging down a large drink. The hot liquid burned his tongue and throat but oddly helped him focus slightly as he continued to think.

"Raph, are you okay?" Leo asked, kneeling down in front of him, his eyes filled with worry and concerned.

"My bond...Mikey...he don't know who I am..." Raph said slowly, looking at his coffee cup in shame, "I...I don't want ta force 'im ta feel me...force 'im ta like...connect wit me...'cause that's all tha' happened to 'im..."

"What do you mean Raph, force him how?" Donnie asked with a waver in his voice.

"I...I can...try ta...I can try ta git 'im ta see what happened...but...it would be...like a backlash," Raph tried to explain, shrugging his shoulders, "I neveh done it though...it's a concept me and 'im talked about before. We don't know if I can do it 'cause it's his empathy gift tha' helps him...and I don't have that."

"Raphael, you do have a connection to Michelangelo," Ariiliya said softly, "you can help him."

"Ya, but the thing is he has a barrier over 'im...he can't actually feel my energy..." Raph explained, "He can't...recognize me..."

"It's going to be okay Raph," Leo said, placing a hand on Raph's shoulder, making him look up at him, "You know Mikey better than all of us. I know that you have an idea...you went in there with one but you didn't do it. It's going to be okay. I know it."

Raph sighed, shaking his head, "W...what if I screw him up more..."

"Raphael, I know you will be good for Michelangelo. He needs you. He is lost...and as much as your brothers may try to help...he responds best to you. Try to help him...have faith in yourself..." Arilliya said firmly.

"Okay...I...I need a few things..." Raph said standing up, "It's gonna sound a little weird..." he explained as he looked at Leo, "I hope you still have a few pictures of Usagi...and April...do you have any large white bunnies here...I need to have it dressed up as Usagi...I'm gonna need some aids ta help recreate wha' happened.."

"I have a Michelangelo doll you can have as well," Ariiliya said, blushing slightly.

"Where did you get a doll?" Leo asked before anyone else could.

Ariiliya blushed before she admitted, "Every Champion has a plush figurine of them for sale...and I collect them. I have one of Splinter-san too but those were going to be presents for you four."

"Great, grab that," Raph said with a grin, "I need something like Ue-Suma...but I don't know how to ta git tha'," as he glanced at his brothers.

"I have a few old Barbies around," April said, "and a few Ken's and kids...but none of them look like Ue-Suma..."

"How about my GI-Joes?" Casey suggested, "I got the entire sets of them."

"Ya got dolls Case?" Raph asked with a laugh.

"They aren't dolls! They are action figures!" Casey said scowling.

Everyone laughed, relishing in the small lightheartedness of the scene. Suddenly Donnie spoke up, "You are using a type of play therapy to get Mikey to realized what happened, aren't you?" understanding flowed in Donnie's bright eyes.

"Yes...but more than tha', Mikey don't really know me...so I gotta git him on two levels...one so his shield lowers...but then again...so he can really see wha' happened...and I can help him..." Raph explained.

"Well, let's gather everything for Raph. April, can you make something for Mikey to eat? He hasn't had any food for awhile. Ariiliya, do you think Mikey needs anything?" Leo asked as everyone started moving.

"Yes, he should have some medicine to prevent any infections," Ariiliya responded, "I shalll add it to his food."

Everyone split up.

* * *

Hope you liked it, more to come, please review of you can!


	47. Healing

**Well, finally got my computer fixed once and for all but it's still being annoying. LOL, might just buy a new computer in the long run. lol. Might be better for me. **

**Anyway, here's a new chapter. Since I rebooted, found I lost a few chapters of a few stories, oh well. Since I've been offline, been wanting to write new ones. But first, FInally have the new chapter posted below! Yay!**

* * *

Hidden Betrayals

Chapter 47

Raph took a deep breathe before he carried in all the items he needed as well as a small container filled with food and water.

"Hi Mikey, Master says to eat so you will be healthy," he said causally, wincing at how he had to trick Mikey into obeying.

"Master said I can eat?" Mikey whispered hoarsely, looking worried as he walked forward timidly.

"Yes, come," Raph said, waving to the bed. He wanted to scream when he saw Mikey scramble to obey but instead, he pulled out the two sandwiches and a jug of milk. "Master...h...he wants you to eat all of that slowly, but do not too fast that you will get sick. Master wants...you healthy."

Mikey nodded, "I'll listen. I'll obey Master," and he carefully and slowly ate and drank at intervals. He didn't want to upset his Master.

Raph waited patiently as he ate, ignoring Mikey's flinches and tremors that covered body as he glanced up at each time to look at him, before glancing away.

"I...I'm done sir," Mikey said meekly, showing his finished plate and empty jug, "D...did Master have any use for me yet?"

"No Michelangelo," Raph said with a sigh before grabbing his box of items, "Master wants to see if your memory is intact. You received a very bad head wound earlier and had memory issues. He instructed me to see what you remember and what you do not," he said sternly.

Mikey hesitated before nodding his head, "O...okay..."

"Now this will be you," Raph said as he pulled out a Michelangelo doll, one arm missing but sewn up to make it more like him, "and this is Usagi-San."

"O..okay..." Mikey said, his eyes wide and nervous as he eyes the dolls.

"Now you will show me when you allowed him to claim your body," Raph said, his stomach clenching with nerves.

"W...w...what do you...you mean?" Mikey whispered.

"In the cave you were in before, you returned to Master...why?" Raph asked.

Mikey picked up the 'Mikey doll' and whispered, "Ue-Suma was gone...taken...M..Master had taken him...s..said if I didn't go...u...Ue-Suma .w..would be ...t..taken like I was."

"Where is Ue-Suma?" Raph asked, pointing to the box.

Mikey reached into the box, pulling out a small Ken doll, dressed in loose pajama style clothing, someone seemed to attach red hair and put it into a small ponytail. "T..this is Ue-Suma...M..Master t...tied him up...s..said he would use him...l...like he used me..."

"You didn't want that? I thought you loved Master?" Raph asked, feeling sick at his words but he got the reaction he wanted to see.

"NO! Of course not! Ue-Suma is innocent and he doesn't deserve what Usagi wanted to do! It's my fault that Usagi wanted him!" Mikey retorted, his eyes clearing as they flashed in anger.

Raph smiled at seeing the old Mikey for a minute but he needed to snap Mikey out of the whole thing. "But you are Usagi's pet...you want to do what Master wanted!"

"Nooo...he...U...Usagi...no, I mean Master! Master...he...he...uh..." Mikey said, eyes widening in panic as he glanced around fearfully, "Master said...he said he would go after Raph...and use Ue-Suma...I couldn't let that happen. It's bad..."

"But you are Master's pet...you have to obey him!" Raph said.

"NO! NO! He has to let Ue-Suma go! Not touch Ue-Suma...he just a kid..." Mikey said, getting agitated, "NO..."

"What did Master do next?" Raph asked gently.

"Master...h...he...hurt...me...h...hit...hit me..." placing a hand on his face, "Ue-Suma cried...and Master...h...he threated R...Raphie..."

"How did he threaten Raph?" Raph asked, knowing this would be his answer.

"He wanted Raphie...as pet...s...said he knew...R...Raphie...h..had strong legs...s..said he would like to take him...b...but I begged him...Begged Master to take me..I..I would be his pet...if he left Ue-Suma and Raphie alone..." Mikey stuttered out.

"Then what happened after you begged Master?" Raph asked warily.

"I..I...had to..." Mikey said, bringing his Mikey doll move in front of the Usagi doll, his hand starting to shake and his eyes widened, "I...gave myself to him...I...I belonged to Usagi...h..he is my master..."

"But Usagi...I mean Master...hurt Ue-Suma...didn't he?" Raph questioned, "and you..."

Mikey's eyes widened, "I...I was bad...h..he cut me..." placing a hand on the bandage on his cheek, "Master punished me..."

"What happened after he cut you Mikey?" Raph questioned urgently, seeing Mikey's eyes starting to glaze, "Look, what happened after he cut you, where was the knife?"

Mikey whimpered, eyes staring blankly at the toys, seeing the small plastic knife before he shuddered, "NO!" he cried out, "I...I...nonononono," Mikey cried out, shaking his head even as his hand moved, the knife slashing across Usagi's throat before he dropped it all.

"Mikey, what did you see?" Raph said quietly, making his voice firm like he usually did when he demanded an answer.

Raph watched Mikey's body starting to shake in fright as memories flashed through his mind, "I found you Mikey...I found you staring at Usagi's body in horror...h...his throat was slashed open...he was dead."

"Nonononono," Mikey mumbled, cringing against the wall, shuddering.

"You were bleeding and in shock but you were lost..." Raph continued, walking over, kneeling in front of Mikey, "I saw you...bleeding...hurt...in shock..."

"No...no...I...I didn't kill him..." Mikey choked out, eyes wide, "I...he...he is my Master...H...he is going to take Raph..."

"No Mikey, ya need ta listen ta me...he's dead...ya killed him...do you remember that?" Raph said, "You need to remember...Mikey, please...don't ya feel me?"

He slowly put his hand out as he reached towards Mikey's arm, gasping as Raph felt a whole series of emotions...but he struggled to push past it, forcing the memory of finding Mikey over Usagi's dead body to come to mind.

Hearing Mikey's gasp and seeing his wide blank eyes, he knew Mikey was seeing his memory. He focused hard on what he had seen and Mikey's ultimate break down afterwards.

Minutes passed as Raph repeated the memory, hoping to get through to Mikey, whispering, "It's not your fault..." over and over.

Mikey's whole body trembled and shook, his blue eyes were filled with tears that didn't fall as he stared blankly at Raph's face.

Raph pulled Mikey to his chest, engulfing him in a firm but loose hug, ignoring the stiffening body, "It's gonna be okay Mikey...ya not alone...I'm right here...Usagi is gone...he's finally gone..."

"R...Raph?" Mikey whispered, still shaking as he glanced up at him.

Raph's heart raced wildly as he saw Mikey's eyes were actually focused on him, actually seeing him, "Y...yeah Mikey?" he stammered out, excited and fearful.

"Safe now?" Mikey whispered slowly.

"Yes Mikey...ya did it...ya defeated him!" Raph assured, "Your safe...ain't no one gonna hurt ya anymore!"

Mikey clutched Raph's hand before he broke out into sobs.

22222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222 22222222222222222222

Raph didn't realize what time he fell asleep but he was jolted awake when he felt Mikey moving in his arms.

"Mike, ya okay?" Raph murmured, still half asleep.

"NOoooo...oh god...no..." Mikey cried out, scrambling back as he glanced around, looking around frantically, "R...Raph...h...he...I...oh god...I...I killed him...I killed him..."

Raph's eyes snapped open as he heard those words, this time seeing Mikey's very aware eyes. He shook the last of his sleepiness away as he sat up. "Mikey," and hearing what he said, he replied, "Mike...shhh, it's gonna be okay..."

"H..how can it be okay Raph? I killed someone!" Mikey replied, "Father would be so ashamed of me! W...We don't kill...w...we're supposed to be the good guys!"

Raph hurried forward, "Mikey, father would be so proud of you! You defeated an enemy that was not only ready to hurt and defile a child, he threatened your family. You knew you had to stop him, especially from hurting you!" he said sternly, "Splinter would be so proud of ya!"

Mikey's eyes watered, "I...I let him hurt me..." he whispered guiltily, "D...Do you still...love me...I...I went to him Raphie..I...I gave myself to him...I...I let him..."

"To save Ue-Suma and me Mikey, ya only did dat ta save us. It ain't your fault if ya think ya had no choice...and ya did it to save Ue-Suma," Raph said with a sad voice, "but ya saved him Mikey...and in da end...ya saved ya' self...I'm proud of you..."

Mikey's eyes watered at the words,filling and falling down his cheeks as he felt his throat tighten and his chest convulse. He could feel and sense Raph's remorse and his pain and mingled with his, he started to sob.

He clutched Raph tightly, letting his strong emotions wrap him up in a safe cocoon, relaxing him and embracing his pain.

"You did good Mikey...ya saved ya'self...ya saved Ue-Suma," Raph whispered in his ear, "ya safe now...your safe...ya can heal now..."


	48. Going Home

Hidden Betrayals

Chapter 48

Mikey walked along the hallway, eyes wide as he glanced around. He could hear his brothers talking in the living room and Casey eating in the kitchen. His stomach clenched at the thought of talking to someone and yearned to leave this place.

He stared at his brothers who were talking with each other, looking stressed and upset.

_I wish I hadn't gotten hurt...I wish I was better...I wish all this didn't happen..._

Mikey moved without realizing it, interrupting his brothers with the words he dreaded to say. "I want to go home..." he said, his throat burning with pain as he spoke, eyes wide as he stared at his family.

Everyone froze and before they could even speak, Mikey rushed ahead.

"I...I need to go...be away from here...so much has happened. I'm not running away...not from here...but we need to go. I...I can't...I can't..." Mikey stumbled, feeling lost as he glanced around the room, glancing but not making eye contact, "I'm lost guys...I...I can't find my way home..." he whispered, voice trembling.

Raph jumped up, walking slowly towards Mikey, allowing him to watch him warily. "Are you sure Mikey...it's okay ta be scared..."

Mikey was quiet for a moment, weaving back and forth slightly as he thought about what Raph said. It took only seconds before they saw him lift his head high, staring at them all in the eyes, "I want to go home...please..."

Leo spoke first, "Then we will..." he stated, smiling at Mikey softly, "We will leave as soon as possible Mikey. How about we pack for the next two days and arrange transportation. How does that sound?"

Mikey's eyes flickered slightly, fear, doubt and relief showed briefly before it was gone. The next thing they knew, was that he was gone.

The all admitted that Mikey was getting quite skilled with silent movement, a detection that that were all struggling to get used to. Leo was confused by it as he was a master at detecting others but now...Mikey...moved with a fluidly along the ground, that almost seemed like a ghost.

* * *

Mikey sighed as he leaned against the rooftop, starring up at the stars with a frown on his face. _I have to do it...I...I can't be like this... I can't be here..._

He groaned as he sat up, a tear slipping from his eye, "I can beat this...I know I can...just give me strength...that's all I need..." he whispered into the darkness, embracing the gentle wind that suddenly blew past him.

He smiled, jumping down from the roof when he heard a nearby rustle, catching the scent of his brother Raph nearby. He didn't want to talk and whispered into the darkness, "I need some space bro...just give me time..." he said before he disappeared into the woods, running away.

Mikey felt guilty for running but he couldn't help this need to be on his own. His thoughts were dark and brooding but he was working through his memories. He hated what happened, despised himself and more importantly, felt immensely guilty for putting Ue-Suma in danger.

_Usagi wouldn't have gone after him if I had just relented in the first place...I should have just...said nothing...then none of this would have happened..._ Mikey thought bitterly as he ran through the woods, the palms of his feet slapping against the forest floor with barely a sound.

_I want things normal...I wish I was the way I was...but...I won't get there if I keep running..._

Mikey finally collasped near the lake. His chest heaved as he tried to supress his tears and pain. He felt so much that it was overwhelming. So much pain and confusion that it hurt. He couldn't sleep, barely ate...and he started working out again.

_I can't be weak anymore...not with them being targets...I have to protect them..._ Mikey stared at the moon's reflection in the lake, his heart aching at the beauty of it. _So much has been lost...time...me...Almost a year in two months...since this all began...and now...now it's finally over..._

_How do I let go of all the pain of what happened? How do I let it go...when it still haunts my dreams...takes over me in an instant touch...how do I keep going on...when it get's so much. _

Mikey didn't know how to answer these questions but he felt this strong yearning to go back to New York. To go home and start anew.

He reached up slowly, touching the now healed over scarred tattoo on his cheek. He hadn't bothered to put a bandage over it. His brothers told him that they could get a tattoo to cover it but he refused. He didn't want to be marked anymore.

"It's who I used to be..." he said softly, looking at the shimmering water with shame, "but dammit...I wish I wasn't..."

He shuffled his way to the water's surface, staring at it, wishing for once that cleaning himself would purify him..._.make him who he was once...so long ago..._

Mikey walked around the lake, just listening to the small gentle waves lapping against the rocky beach. He loved this sense of belonging and loved how the world didn't care who he was...

**_Didn't care that he had been raped...that he forced himself to be a slut...opened his legs for Usagi..._**

**_Nature didn't care..._**

**_His brothers didn't care..._**

**_Why did he?_**

* * *

Mikey opened his journal as his brothers hauled a bunch of blankets and other stuff to the upstairs attic. He wasn't allowed to help once again, his brothers worried about his so they told him to relax.

He sighed, just taking it because he knew it was the only way he knew his brothers thought they were helping.

_Dear...hmmm...I'm gonna call this journal...um...Mischief..._

_Dear Mischief..._

_Well, I'm sitting at the table right now, listening to my brothers bickering about where they should load the blankets we used while we were here. _

_I never knew they bickered about this kind of stuff before but I think they are frustrated that I haven't been talking to much lately. Raphie is starting to get worried about me again... But I can't do nothing about it. Raph wants me to talk to him, to let him know what's in my mind...but I can't. _

_My mind...has so many fragments I'm just now starting to put together...which is why I started using this new journal..._

_I wish I could tell them...that I have so much trouble understanding what they want... Or even what I want._

_I told them I wanted to go home...and that is the truth._

_I wanted to go home for so long now...but this thing with Usagi...I...I can't stand being here...it hurts. Splinter...dad...is dead...and it's not the lair that we used to be in. I need a new schedule. Ariiliya said I would be able to start practicing within a few more days..._

_I need to get better...I need to pull my life back together..._

_I'm lost and I know...I need to figure things out...I need to remember...me...and one day...hopefully...soon...I'll be their brother...the one that they will love even though I'm tainted..._

Mikey glanced up at his brothers as Donnie argued with Raph about the electric blanket and how to preserve it. He smiled slightly as Donnie tried to intimidate Raph by standing slightly taller and Raph just scowled, shoving him back.

_I love my brothers...I will do anything for them...I have done anything... No one can doubt my love...but sometimes...I wish... I didn't have to be...this me... This sacrifice..._

Mikey stood up, picking his journal up and twisting the lock on the table off that he had attached to the coil, "Guys, calm down...we leave in the morning. How about you chill and go to bed...Casey will help April with the last of it tomorrow...we leave in the morning."

His brothers nodded, smiling at him, "Sure Mikey," Donnie said with a sheepish grin, "hothead was just being wrong all over again."

Mikey chuckled at the words before he walked away. He could hear their shocked silence and could sense Raph was ecstatic about his impromptu laughter. _It had been weeks...months since they really heard it again...and now, today...they heard it again._

"Guys...ya think he's comin' back?" Raph asked hopefully.

"We can hope..." Leo said with a smile.

Donnie shook his head, "He'll be fine...it'll take some time...but he'll come back..."


	49. Another Step Forward

**I'm back...kinda... lol, but here's a new chapter of Hidden! Hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Hidden Betrayals

Chapter 49

Mikey took a deep breathe when he walked behind his brother, carrying one bag on his shoulder, walking closer to the opening of their home.

_Their new home...it won't be tainted...no more...bad memories there..._

His eyes widened in shock at the sight of the open spaces, more room than he ever saw before. "Wow..." he said quietly, stepping in, slightly hesitant about running ahead.

Raph grinned, "Go ahead Mikey, check it out...you got to pick out your room, don't you?" he said with a smile.

Mikey felt the smile slowly stretch across his face as he ran up the hallway, hopping to the second level, a feeling of excitement growing inside him.

He dashed from room to room, looking at the sizes and his eyes grew wide when he saw the corner room. "I WANT THIS ONE!" he called out eagerly, running back out, "Please, please, I want that one, please!" he begged.

Leo chuckled as he told the others, "I told you!" he said with a smile before turning to Mikey, "Yes Mikey, that can be your room," he said giving him permission.

Mikey's eyes lit up with excitement, "No way, thanks Leo!" he said, hugging his brother excitedly with his remaining arm before he ran off back upstairs.

He then ran to the storage room, grabbing the wagon inside and filling it up with his belongings as his brothers did the same.

They didn't interfere, they knew Mikey had to do this on his own, to show and prove that he was able.

Mikey didn't even notice as he unpacked his items one by one, as well as his small peices of furniture that he was able to bring himself.

As he went through his items, he sighed. He opened his weapons box, heart aching as he saw his first nunchuks and the ones he had received over the years from his father...who repaired them enough for display...but not practical use.

Mikey glanced down at his two nunchuks strapped to the side his arm was on, sad that he would no longer be able to make a new double set. His father had taught him how to make these weapons...the care involved and the pressure to shape the wood just perfectly. _This pair was the last pair he helped me make..._

_How am I going to make these weapons anymore? You need two hands to do this...I might have to teach one of the others how to make them...I can probably make Leo's or Raph's weapons...but you need two hands to put the pressure on the wood to shape it...hmmm I wonder..._

Mikey sighed, touching the nunchuks protectively, remembering when he first got them and how he mastered them despite his brothers and even his father's disbelief. _He knew he was good...one of the best...and fast...at least I used to be fast...I wish I was..._ glancing at the nunchuks one more time, he bit his lip, his blue eyes steely and determined, _I will be again..._

* * *

Mikey finished unpacking his room, smiling as it seemed somewhat familiar but also very new and cleansing. He grabbed his sketchbook and his pencils, knowing he needed to develop a plan first.

He heard a knock on his door and he glanced up, "Come in," he yelled out. Mikey couldn't help but smile when he saw Donnie come in, "Hey bro, what's up?" he asked with a small smile.

"Was wondering how you were doing with unpacking...and..." Donnie trailed off with a sheepish grin.

Mikey smiled, curious now, "And...what?"

"Me and Leo were getting hungry...and the stove doesn't seem...to like...cook..." he admitted.

Mikey chuckled, putting his pencils down and standing up, "No problem...I should feed you guys eh?"

Donnie smiled, "I would appreciate it a lot! Raph made toast earlier...and it bombed...these new appliances the people here used before is different...you had the most luck figuring out these symbols more than I did..." he admitted, pointing to the syllabic words on the wall, "You deciphered the lettering's somehow...but I admit I didn't really look into it."

Mikey smiled, "I'm glad I can help," he said, walking over, stretching as he made his way over. It didn't take him long to figure out how to work the stove here and quickly make a quick lunch for him and his brothers.

* * *

45 minutes later, he was back in his room, about to sketch his idea out.

It took some time for the idea he wanted but it was hard to sketch with a hand that wasn't his dominant hand. When he was done, he didn't like the look of it and scrapped it. So he did it again but worked slower, trying to get the lines right for what he wanted but it wasn't coming out.

He was slowly growing frustrated, wishing the idea in his head would flow properly but it wasn't. He knew what he wanted to build but he had to sketch it first...how else would he figure out the dynamics of building it.

Finally, he threw his pencil against the wall, feeling a savage pleasure flow through him at the sight of the pencil breaking.

"Mikey...are you okay?" he heard from behind him, sighing as he realized Leonardo saw his fit of anger.

"I'm fine Leo," he said, turning in his chair, "Just getting frustrated, what else is new?" he said smiling at him.

Leonardo waved his hand, asking permission to enter and Mikey nodded. Leo stepped inside, sitting on a nearby seat, "What's frustrating you now?" he asked, concern clear in his voice.

"Oh, I'm just trying to get this to work..." he said, waving his hand towards the blue prints he was wanting to build, "I just...can't...it seems..." he said angrily, "I hate having to depend on someone else to do stuff for me. I want to learn to do it on my own."

Leo smiled, now understanding why Mikey was getting upset, "Would you like some help?"

Mikey shrugged, "I...I can't build my nunchuks anymore...not without you or someone else doing it...you need two hands to sculpt the wood properly but I can't do it..." he explained frustrated, "I...I don't want to use my nunchuks anymore...t..they are the last ones f..Father ma...made with me..."

Leo stood, engulfing Mikey into his arms, his own eyes wet with tears at the thought, "It must be touch Mikey but I'm sure we can figure out something."

"You think so?" Mikey asked slowly, pulling back to look up at him.

"I know so...Raph had to help me build my swords...you need help with that too...remember when I was really hurt by the Shedder?" he told his little brother.

At Mikey's nod, he continued, "Raph helped me in the barn, building my new swords, helping me recover...just like we'll help you. It's not a bad thing to ask for help...everyone needs it sometimes...like we needed your help earlier figuring out the kitchen..."

Mikey chuckled, a smile growing on his face, "C..Can you guys help me? I want to build it on my own but if I can make something to help me...then it would be great!"

Leo smiled gently at his younger brother, helping him to his feet, "We'll help Mikey, don't forget that...let's get our brothers to come help..."

Mikey nodded, following his older brother, smiling.


	50. Junkyard Outing

**Special thanks to Amonraphoenix, she helped me a lot with this chapter as I got stuck.**

My Word software is down so no I am reduced to Wordpad, lol, so be patient! I'm working on all my latest for the long delay, I am working on them, I promise!

**Warnings: Non-Con w/ Major character, scenes of abuse.**

Don't like, don't read. You were warned. 

* * *

**Hidden Betrayals**

**Chapter 50 **

It had been a nice quiet few months as the brothers got back into the routine of practices and being a family. Mikey struggled with practicing; relearning his weapons and establishing the proper balance but he was getting there.

He was pretty thin still but gaining muscles with ease as he built himself back up. He didn't enjoy falling or moving his weapon forward to be thrown off balance. It was very frustrating at first when he couldn't do a move he used to be able to do with ease.

But Mikey could see he was improving, and even more so when he started skateboarding again.

Now, nearly eight months since moving back to the city, he started to join his brothers topside again. The first few times made Mikey very nervous but when all they did was beat up Purple Dragons or some Foot Ninjas, even stopping a few muggings; he became more confident in his abilities .

"Hey, Mikey, I need to grab a few things from the junkyard . You've been inside for a while, want to come with me?" Donnie offered, putting a few things into his duffel bag.

Mikey, still wary about going topside hesitated, asking, "What are we getting?" he asked, knowing the last time, he had to help Donnie bring down several heavy bags of machinery from his last junkyard run.

Donnie smiled gently at him, "I need to replace some wiring and grab a motor from a fridge, ours is conking out; no heavy lifting, I promise!" he said with a grin.

Mikey, at ease with Donnie's reassuring words, nodded in agreement, "Alright...that sounds like fun..." he replied, knowing the junkyard was fairly empty most of the time; sometimes they found a few stray dogs or cats but that was it.

Mikey grabbed his gear and weapons, putting it on quickly before heading out with his brother. They were quiet for a few moments before Donnie spoke up, "Are you doing alright Mikey?"

Mikey glanced at his brother, hearing the concerned tone and knew he understood why he grew quiet lately. He was remembering the anniversary of the first day Usagi had abused him. The date was coming up and his brainy brother knew it.

He sighed, rubbing his face tiredly, "I'm getting there...just...I'm not sure what to call it...I feel... apprehensive and worried...like..." he explained sadly.

Mikey then stopped at the ladder that lead topside, "Donnie...if...if I get hurt...bad...please...just let me go... let me die. I... I can't... keep doing this...promise me..."

Donnie's eyes widened in shock, "Why are you talking like that, Mikey? Are you feeling suicidal again?" Donnie asked quietly but worriedly. He recalled that in the Nexxus, Mikey had wanted to give up after Father died.

Mikey shook his head, "I don't _want_ to die...but...it's like this feeling I get... like the one I got from Splinter before he died... like something's going to happen. Donnie... I don't want to die... but I don't want to live if I'm going to be more of a burden. Please Donnie... promise me... promise me that if I am going to be a burden, that I can't walk, talk...or even move...if I can't recover fully ...let me die...promise me!" Mikey pleaded urgently.

Donnie started to shake his head, denying his little brother's words, "I can't Mikey...if...I'll do anything in my power to save you...please...don't talk like this...it's scaring me..." he said, his eyes flashing his distress.

Mikey saw he was alarming his brother with his request but nodded his head, "Sorry Donnie...I think that... these dates ...are like messing with me..." he said, pulling a fake smile on his face . "Last one topside hatched from a rotten egg!" He crowed and started climbing the ladder.

Donnie, glad that Mikey had dropped the subject, whined like he was supposed to, "No fair! Two can't climb up," he moaned playfully. He frowned in thought as he followed behind Mikey, concern building at the strange conversation and sighed, knowing it was something he needed to talk with Raph and Leo about.

Reaching topside with a few jokes, the tension between them eased and he was soon running forward with Mikey, enjoying the crisp breeze on his skin. It wasn't long before they reached the deserted junkyard and started rummaging through the piles . "Hey, check it out," Mikey cried out with a smile, pulling a beat up old skateboard from the pile they had been going through.

Donnie took it in his hands, "It looks like it can be repaired Mikey...seems pretty sturdy if you want to fix it up."

Mikey grinned, taking it back into his hand and putting it into the bag that he carried with him. "This would be pretty sweet to have two boards. There is this awesome trick I want to do but I need two boards," Mikey explained excitedly.

"Please don't tell me you are going to try and give us heart attacks again?" Donnie groaned as he carefully climbed down the pile, intending to go to another one where he spied a newer looking fridge.

"Maybe...I think heart attacks are good for you guys, gets your blood flowing!" Mikey said smirking, walking towards him before he tensed, glancing around warily. He was about to ask Donnie something when he saw a metal bat moving towards his brothers head, "NO!" he shrieked.

Donnie fell without a sound, the bat knocking him unconscious and the force from the blow causing him to roll down the pile, landing in a limp heap below; blood flowing from the gash in his head.

"DONNIE!" Mikey shrieked out, running to his brother before he was suddenly surrounded by about twenty Purple Dragons and they were being led by Hun. Mikey's heart raced as he fumbled for the emergency beacon on a thin piece of string around his throat. It was ripped from him before he even had the chance to push it as he was pinned to the ground.

Mikey whimpered, trying to stop himself from trembling too much when a skinny PD was on him, his hands on his throat and trying to throttle him but he was fighting and growling in anger , desperate to protect his wounded brother.

Hun spoke, leaning over the brainy turtle, "Well, if you're going to fight I guess I can kill this one..." he said with a delighted smirk, a knife being pulled out of a sheath at his side.

"NO! Please, stop!" Mikey rasped out, suddenly limp, docile as they yanked him to his feet and dragged him over to where Hun stood holding a knife to Donnie's throat. Mikey's heart raced in fear. He was outnumbered, his emergency beacon was gone and his brother was unconscious on the ground at the mercy of Hun .

"Your brother is a nuisance ...it would do my gang proud to see his throat sliced clean," Hun said smirking, as he pressed the blade deeper into his throat drawing blood, Hun smirk with malicious glee when Donnie didn't even flinch as his neck was cut .

"NO, leave him alone!" Mikey shouted , his brain in over drive with fear as he tried to figure out a way out of this.

"KILL THE FREAKS !" Several Purple Dragons roared. More horrific suggestions soon followed, "Take his shell off; Tear him apart by his arms and legs; Burn him; Skin him alive; Sell him; Dissect the freak; Fuck him!"

Mikey's eyes widened in terror at each gruesome suggestion, his world in a huge panic as he struggled against the hands that held him.

Hun's smirk grew crueler, "Now that last one was a good idea...fuck him...I wouldn't mind taking a whore..." he said with a vulgar smile, looking at Donnie in a different light, his eyes lighting up lecherous glee.

Mikey's could barely breathe, his breathing came in strangled gasps as he saw his brother being dragged to crate ..."NO!" he cried out, tears rolling down his cheeks as he fought like he didn't before.

He kicked, screamed, scratched and bit as much as possible, trying to get to his brother. When he saw Donnie being laid on his back on the crate and his legs kicked open, he screamed, " NO… HUN! Please, stop …USE ME! Don't!" he begged beseechingly, falling to the ground, starting to cry, "Please, don't...use me instead ...please...I'll be your ...y..your...w...w...whore...just don't hurt my brother ...please!"

Hun smiled, his eyes glinting with glee, "So...if I don't fuck your brother but fuck you...you'll obey me?" he asked, still holding the unconscious Donnie down.

Mikey nodded, tears rolling down his cheeks, "Yes...please...I promise..."

Hun could hear his gang members watching, shock and delight clear on their face, "Prove it...turn around and pull down Ice's pants and suck him off!" he said, the challenge clear in his voice.

Mikey's eyes widened in brief panic before he took control of himself. He turned around as he heard laughter, seeing a scrawny guy with spiky white and blue hair step forward, a smirk on his face. Mikey's hand trembled as he stepped forward, kneeling in front of him.

He glanced at Hun who stayed over Donnie's body watching him; he could see the huge bulge in his pants and knew that he was excited. He shivered as his hand reached out, grasping the belt buckle but he couldn't figure out how to undo it.

He spoke, his voice trembling, "I...I don't...k..know how...t..to undo this..." he stammered out, his eyes wide in a panic, "Please...I...I " and when he saw Hun deliberately grind himself against Donnie's lower plates, he cried out terrified , "NO! PLEASE! I...this...it's human clothing...j...just tell me how...I'll do it! PLEASE!" he said, eyes glittering in his panic, breathing rapidly.

Ice smirked, "Here bitch, I'll undo it for ya but ya gotta kiss my feet..." his swagger apparent as he put his foot forward.

Mikey, knowing he had to do it, flushed with shame and humiliation, knelt down, kissing his boot. He gagged at the taste and smell, looking away as everyone burst into laughter. Ice unbuckled his belt for Mikey who knew what to do next. He tugged Ice's pants and boxers down, cringing at the sight of the pink throbbing penis in front of him.

His eyes widened in fear but as he saw Hun, once again rubbing his bulge against Donnie, opened his mouth and took it in. Mikey felt tears fall down his cheeks as Ice took the next step, grasping his head and moaning loudly, slamming his entire length down his throat.

Mikey gagged and choked but he didn't pull away, knowing that he had too. He started to suck, his stomach rebelling at the taste and saltiness of the man, inhaling the scent of his piss and his dirtied and sweaty body.

The man came fast, his essence spilling into his throat and down into his stomach and he swallowed it all. Ice kept his cock into his mouth until he was soft and limp, slowly pulling out, demanding, "Kiss it bitch and thank it..." he said smirking.

Mikey flushed, struggling to stop his stomach from rebelling it's content, rasped out, "T..thank you..." before kissing the limp cock. He felt it hit his face as Ice rubbed his face with his cock and flushed with shame again.

_I knew I was nothing but a whore..._ he thought bitterly as he stared at Hun, "P..Please Hun...I'll be your whore...your bitch, whatever you want ...just don't fuck Donnie... don't hurt him " he said, his throat burning and aching, his heart clenching as he resolved himself to what he was about to do.

Hun smirked, glancing down at the unconscious Donnie, throwing him to the ground like a rag doll, "Get yur ass over here," he commanded smirking.

Mikey quickly ran over, stopping briefly to check on Donnie. He was concerned because his head wound was still bleeding and he hadn't even twitched all this time . _What if he had brain damage ?_ He thought frantically when a tight hand gripped his remaining arm. He glanced up, staring into Hun's dark glittering eyes, fear filling his entire being.

"Bend over da crate ya slut," he said, undoing his belt and fly, the sound sharp and clear in the junkyard. Mikey could hear the rush of cars in the distance, the feel of the wind on his skin as he moved to the crate. He could feel the cold dirt ground beneath his feet as he hesitated.

He guessed he moved to slow because Hun slammed him down hard; his breathe being knocked out of his lungs, his tail lifted and shoved out of the way before something warm and hard started pressing at his entrance.

Mikey could feel the tears of pain building as his mouth parted, crying out in agony. He struggled but Hun's massive body could easily pin him down as he pushed in. Mikey screamed in pain, his back arching just slightly on top of the wooden crate, smelling blood easily as he was torn apart.

He screamed loud and piercing as Hun shoved his massive member into him, sobbing in pain as he grunted and cried. Mikey could hear Hun's pants as he thrust into him; Mikey hid his face in the crate, smelling that instead of the smell of blood, sweat and sex behind him.

_My brothers were wrong...they can't protect me...but...I can protect them..._ he thought, grunting as he was slammed into, his whole body seemed to be disconnected to him as he thought, _He hurts more than Usagi ever did ...but everyone is cheering and laughing...I can hear the sounds of pictures being taken... Hun is right...I am nothing but a slut... a whore. _

Mikey blanked out, only coming to when he felt a hand slap his face, eyes snapping open in fright as he realized it was raining and he was shivering on the ground. He saw Hun zipping himself up, smirking to himself, "Now look ya slut, ya belong ta me now , to my gang, what I say goes!" Hun said with a grin, waving his hand at Donnie, "I know when ya brothers go out and where they go . Hell, I even know where the Little Red head lives and dat Angel wannabe! She's hot," Hun said with a laugh.

Mikey could feel his whole body pale as Hun described all of his brothers normal routes and abstract routes, knowing now that Hun knew a lot about them. _Crap...we were so careful! How could...oh God, he can grab them anytime!_ He thought, coming to that realization with despair.

"Now you will be my whore! Every four nights, you will sneak out of whatever hole you live in and meet me...at different places. Hell, I'll make three of them alternating comic and video game stores," Hun said with a smile, lifting Mikey to his feet, holding his arm in a bruising grip.

Mikey shook, he could feel cum and blood sliding down his legs, shaking with the coldness of the water and wondered how long he had been out of it.

"You will be my whore for me to use, my Dragons if I so choose, on those nights...3 hours every 4 days bitch, ya got dat!?" Hun said angrily, shaking Mikey slightly. "Oh and don't tell your brothers about you being a whore for the Purple Dragons or the deal is off."

Mikey nodded, "Yes...Hun..." he gasped out, terrified as he stared at Hun's pleased eyes.

"No bitch," Hun said angrily, slapping Mikey across the face, "Ya call me ya fuckin' Master, slut," he said roared .

Mikey yelped at the hit, his face throbbing slightly. He trembled, his voice raspy but tinged with panic, "Y...y...yes M..M...Master!" he sobbed out, caving in to Hun's demands, "A...as long as you leave...m..my family...a..alone...d...don't hurt them...l...like you do me..." he asked, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Hun nodded, "Agreed, but I want a kiss to seal da deal."

Mikey's eyes widened, his face filled with absolute terror at the thought but he remained still as Hun yanked his head forward towards his. Mikey pushed against him weakly but Hun was strong as he mashed his lips against his own, forcing his mouth open with a pressure point. Mikey felt even more invaded as he felt Hun's tongue inside his mouth, touching, invading, taking and claiming him...

When Hun let him go, he grinned, "My dragons didn't get to have some fun so ta explain ta ya bros your injuries...dey get ta beat ya..." and then threw Mikey into the crowd of Dragons who cheered, taunted, punched, kicked and fondled the young turtle for almost twenty minutes before Mikey finally fell limply to the ground.

* * *

Mikey groaned as he woke up, his body aching and he was terribly cold and shivering. He sneezed as he woke up, covered with mud, filth and by the looks of it, garbage lay on top of him that smelled of piss. He gaggd a little as he realized the Dragons must have pissed on him.

He wondered what happened but as he moved and felt the shooting pain up his backside, he remembered everything.

He sobbed as he moved towards Donnie, wincing in pain as he got to his feet. Finding Donnie still unconscious and wondering why their older brothers hadn't come yet. He tried to pull Donnie up but was unable to.

He searched around, trying to find Donnie's bag of goodies, knowing he carried a spare phone in it and finally found it partially hidden under an old Ford truck . _Thank God he hid it before we started searching the junk ..._ he thought, pulling out the emergency blanket and put it over Donnie's unconscious body and grabbed the phone.

Mikey dialed , almost sobbing when he heard Leo finally pick up.

"Hello, Donnie where are you? It's raining hard so you should get home soon," Leo started to say when Mikey broke in, "Leo... c...can you p..please..c..come...p...pick us up...i..it's cold...D... Donnie's...hurt...bad… please...?"

"We'll be right there Mikey, are you safe at the moment?" Leo asked anxiously . Mikey could hear him yelling at Raph to follow him.

"Yeah...t..they...a.. ...n...now...b..but I'm cold...it's sooo cold..." Mikey stammered out before his numb fingers dropped the phone and slumped bonelessly next to Donnie. Shivering he pulled as much of his brother on to his lap, covering him tightly with the flimsy blanket. He curled himself around his brother as another violent shiver wracked his body, making him cough harshly. He stared at the junkyard, despising the place.

The smell, the look, everything about it, was tainted..._I'm sorry guys...I...I told you...I...I deserved it...I deserved it all..._ he thought, closing his eyes as he cried himself to sleep on his Donnie's shoulder .


End file.
